Jongin leaves Taemin a mess, he really does. His old best friend. The boy he spent hours dancing with in a too small rehearsal room. It was crazy seeing him now. Jongin had just vanished one day. Dropped off the face of the planet and left Taemin to achieve his dreams on his own. At least he did good, Jongin laughs to himself. Made a damn good reputation for Lee Taemin while Kim Jongin wandered the streets. 

Jongin seriously didn't know Taemin and Minho weren't out the closet yet. He made the mistake of wishing them a good, happy relationship only to be met with awkward stares.... Jongin could easily pick up on emotion- he felt that little bond between the boys and when Taemin handed him a significant amount of cash- Minho practically choked on air. Jongin just smiled though. Thanked his old buddy and apologized for any scandals his random intrusion could create. " Just don't talk to any fans " Taemin said " And don't spend this on drugs " 

Jongin laughed at that. Dashing out the door with a sweet goodbye before completely forgetting about Taemin, his broken dreams and all that nonsense that was ripped away from him years ago. Besides, Jongin an idol? He would have never lasted. People would have hated his lazy confidence. The way he scrunched up his nose and got embarrassed everytime he did something cute- or just down right humiliating. 

On his way out he runs into some fans. They ask who he is, why he's invading their oppa's privacy and Jongin chuckles. Curtly ignoring them before running off. Taemin's money is heavy in his pockets. Its guilty, you never have to pay me back money and Jongin just realizes that he's nobody. A ghost on the streets, neither here nor there with no goal or future...except you... Jongin smiles at the thought of you and sighs because your date is sucha long time from now. He wishes it was like tomorrow or something. But alas, he's stuck waiting. Wondering what clothing you would like to see him in. Taemin did give a lot. Jongin was sure SM artists didn't make enough to give so carelessly but then again- what would Taemin do with money? Nothing. He was an idol, didn't have to pay for his housing or food. It was handed to him on a silver platter and Jongin has nothing. Literally the clothes on his back. 

Jongin suddenly feels really bad for himself. The life he's sharing with an entity he can't understand or control. It has been getting to him the past few months and it's getting harder and harder to ignore. He has thought about getting help. But what kind of help can anyone offer him? If anything they'll just throw him in the looney bin. Give him a nice straitjacket and hopefully tranquilizers. The thought ridden boy starts his aimless wandering again but it's not as depressing anymore. In fact Jongin's chin is up. There's a faint smile to his lips because even though this situation , there is something good to look forward too. 

You. 

How cheesy. He has to laugh at himself. But still, it's something. Like the end of a dark tunnel. Begging him to escape. To push a little harder because brighter times are coming. Jongin stops looking at the floor and instead looks at the shops he passes by. He observes the male mannequins. What they wear, what the men around him wear. Jongin has always had lack luster style and desperately needs some advice. Maybe he should have asked Taemin, or maybe asked Taemin to ask Key because Key had a impeccable style? 

Jongin groans, what in the world is going on in his head. It's all your fault. He's talking to people he swore he'd never approach. He's panicking about what he's wearing- what he looks like and everything could go horribly wrong because his fragile little heart is stuck on stupid. That's what his mom used to say. He remembered her always telling him to stay away from girls, they only complicated things- drove you crazy. Got you stuck on stupid. How right she was, but it's not so bad. There's balance. Pros and cons. Jongin knows the good weighs out the bad and he pushes all the bad thoughts away. Humming something he heard from a car's radio passing by. 

A/N : This is painfully short but I have my reasons! Next update will be way longer! Promise!