Five days before the music video drop.

It was seven in the morning and the tight discussion was improperly dismissed with silence just like that. Kyungsoo was in the bathroom washing his face, Sehun was still stitched silent to his seat, Joonmyun hyung opening the door for Seungwon hyung who insisted on not staying and eating Kyungsoo Brand Breakfast with us. I was leaning on the fridge with hands inside the pockets of my pants, waiting for Joonmyun hyung to finish.

Kyungsoo came back from the toilet and shooed me to open and wander his eyes about the contents of the fridge. Joonmyun hyung came back from the front door not long after, scratching his head not quite knowing what to decide. He sat on his chair and I sat back on mine. Kyungsoo finally took some bowls outside the fridge and closed it. Seemed like we were going to have warmed leftovers again for today.

Kyungsoo lit the stove and started warming up our meals. “The company people wanted to see Seungwon hyung immediately, that’s why he insisted on having his breakfast out. I feel bad though.” I turned my head on Joonmyun hyung’s aimless conversation starter. He was always bleak and bad on that, just like me when having bad mood. I only nodded weakly. Oh, I see. Yeah, I know, you feel bad, I feel worse.

Bowls arrive one by one on the dining table, then Joonmyun hyung came to the counter to help. Six bowls were present but only three men were seated. Kyungsoo was washing his hands at the sink. “I want to knock on their door, hyung. They have to eat,” I said. “Accompany me.”

Joonmyun hyung gave his warm smile and lent a hand to help me stand up. He led our way and we stopped at Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s door. I looked to him hesitantly and nodded towards the door. “Knock.”

Joonmyun hyung smiled his laughter and knocked the door for me, but soon took steps back for me to talk to them directly. We waited slightly, but there was no answer. Joonmyun hyung knocked for me again. “Chanyeollie, Baekhyun ah, breakfast’s ready. Let’s eat,” he persuaded. Still, it was silent.

When I gained some confidence, I knocked the door myself.

Baekhyun opened the door and slightly drew his head back upon seeing me. He seemed like he just wanted to slam the door in my face, but he didn’t.

“Let’s have breakfast,” I offered, before he could say any word. I turned to Joonmyun hyung and gave a thumb up to inform him that I could handle it.

“Later,” he said, then looked down to close the door.

“Can I come in?” I asked.

Baekhyun looked up to me then looked back to Chanyeol.  Chanyeol tried to peek from the bottom bed and plopped back down as soon as he saw that it was me.

 “I need to say sorry.”

“No one is guilty, why say sorry?” Baekhyun retorted.

“So can I come in?” I asked. Baekhyun looked behind him again but eventually opened the door for me still with the folded face. I sat beside Chanyeol’s leg and Chanyeol sat up in my presence.

“Sorry for… well… the pictures. I don’t take a good hold of myself.”

“I don’t know.” Chanyeol said in a detesting sigh and shrugged not bothering to weigh my apology. He gets really scary when he’s tempered, especially when you’re so used to seeing him swim in his own mischievous attitude.

I sighed. “You know, I thought you guys were the better couple out of us. You could fool around out there in open air without anyone being suspicious at you. I thought it looked fun.”

“But we don’t do it stupidly like you, Jongin. That’s the difference. You’re reckless. I’m not. You ask your hyung to protect you. I don’t.”

I wanted to try find some sentence to say, but Chanyeol hyung continued. “Sorry Tan Boy, it’s not about you and Sehun or Baekhyun and I as a person. It’s about the way you act on it. I don’t like that.”

I nodded looking down. Chanyeol hyung dipped his head to go out of the bed and stood beside it. “I’ll have breakfast,” he said. He turned to Baekhyun. “Is Baekhyun coming?” Baekhyun looked up flinching and nodded quickly to cover his blank look. Chanyeol pulled him outside the bedroom by the hand leaving the door left half open.

I sat there on the bottom bed staring at the wooden floor silently. Was I that bad?

“Hey.”

I looked to the door to see Sehun standing there, then he walked in and sat beside me. A soft pair of hands wrapped mine.

“You’re not having breakfast? Your food will be cold.”

He brushed my bangs up and gave me a soft kiss. “Thank you though.”

We smiled that kind of unsaid understanding. Sehun stood up and lent a hand. “Come on.”

We went out of Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s room and sat in our seats. Joonmyun hyung made sure that everyone was there, and this time, he led a very long prayer.

“Lord, bless our days to come. If what we are to see are hardships, please help us bear them. May we still love each other, and present our best to the world. We hope that we will always stay together amidst the strong waves, and we hope that there will be light if this tunnel were to turn dark.”

“Amen,” he whispered.

“Amen.”

“EXO?”

“Saranghaja!”

We smiled our happiness and shouted ‘we’re digging in!’. Today’s breakfast felt very cold compared to other days, but still, no matter how cold the atmosphere was, there was always warmth connecting us.

We ate silently and got ready as instructed by Joonmyun hyung. Plan was, practice as usual and only stop when we were called by the higher-ups (if they were really going to call us today).

 I took a deep breath after we finished warming up and our title song was played for the first time today. We did the routine along with the intro sidesong for some good amount of repeat until we saw Seungwon hyung hanging there at the door from the mirror. I scrambled to turn the tape off as soon as we were done with the current part, then he went in.

“The sirs wanted me to bring you guys along,” he announced. “Just go upstairs, they don’t mind.”

Seungwon hyung was referring to our baggy clothes and sweaty foreheads. It was a bit of awkward for a while because we were slow in realizing that the higher-ups really wanted to see us. We all started our way to our bags to wipe our sticky faces with our towels and have a drink before we stood up and left the skyroom.

We walked our way upstairs and Seungwon hyung knocked on the Meeting Room for us. The sirs from Public Relations guessed that their room wasn’t enough I guess, so they decided to seat us here in one of the smaller meeting rooms. “Excuse me,” Seungwon hyung pardoned before letting us in.

“Hello,” we all bowed. They nodded in recognition and let us sit around the big meeting table.

“Ah, come on, come on. Have a seat.” The woman stood up and pointed our seats across her, or them, with her right hand. The seven of us with Seungwon hyung sat, then she finally sat down, sighing in the process. The icon backlight on the back of her laptop screen was glowing dimly across face.

 “Thank you for your time, Boys,” a woman in her 30ish started. There were 3 representatives present, two from PR and one from Marketing and I did not know what department the woman came from but she was sitting in the middle. I knew every one of them but did not know their names. “We all feel sorry for the invasion of your privacy, though. This is how you will always live as a public figure,” she continued. “Anyway. I guess we want you,” she pointed to me and Sehun, “and the leader, to write an official clarification on the board some time soon. But because for right now the news has spread pretty far, the fanboard is full of questions and all, I guess we will write it for you. As an official I'm afraid you won’t make a pretty wise choice of words writing it by yourselves.”

Ah, I see. We all nodded messily.

"We searched pretty much on the topic while you guys were practicing. It gained a lot of response, both positive and negative. We have also seen some English translations—the international fans will know very soon."

Wow, bless the speed of spreading information. Let the world know the one I love, then.

“But let’s just say that we have this under control and that this will not affect your upcoming release,” the woman smiled. We all looked at each other in great relief and everyone smiled so wide upon hearing the news. We all nodded our gratitude multiple times to the officials. I thought I would cause more problem than this, it made me so relieved.

“Nice to see the change in your face,” the woman smiled, and the men beside her smiled as well.

Along with the happy atmosphere, the man on her left asked. “Any other one of you here dating?”

I looked on my left and right. Baekhyun and Chanyeol raised their hands. All three officials gaped in slight surprise and nodded. “A trainee junior? Or college friend?”

“We’re… dating each other too,” Baekhyun stated. Plus a heheh grin.

The man laughed and rested his forehead on his hand. “Kids nowadays…” he shook his head, still chuckling. “I think we’ll have to revise the dating ban for future bands. No dating anyone including fellow members.”

Everyone laughed at the (actually corny) joke.

“It’s still an agreement violation though, so four of you will still have to receive penalty although I guess all of us seem to be alright with it. It’s not affecting your performance, right?”

“No, apparently,” our leader smiled, somehow proud.

“Okay then, I guess we’ve had what we needed. Thank you for your time. We’ll inform you if we need anything for the statement letter or anything else, okay? You can go back to practice,” the woman smiled and stood up to lead us.

“Ah, yes, thank you very much, thank you, Ma’am, Sir.” We bowed very deeply multiple times, especially me, because I could not contain the happiness and could not express my gratitude with bowing only.

We went outside the meeting room and cheered and hugged so happily in a cute huddle. Seungwon hyung was there outside the circle facepalming on our group’s cuteness. I hope EXO can keep going on like this, for years and years to come.