Header photo not mine. See logo in the picture for source.

~ ~ ~

 

It was winter and the air was wonderfully freezing. (It was summer in Sydney and the temperature upon her departure was a whopping 40 degrees Celsius!) She inhaled deeply and let it out slowly. Ah, Seoul. She didn’t think she’d be back here so soon. Only a little over a month ago, she stepped foot in this city with a heavy heart. This time, her heart felt like it was infested with mutant butterflies who are immune to fatigue. They’ve been flapping around her insides since the day that she realized -

 

Oh GAAAAHHHH I can’t even think it without wanting to puke! Lily thought frustratedly, her hand automatically covering . It wasn’t that she found it disgusting. It was a different feeling, as if there’s a bottomless pit in her stomach that’s continuously being filled with anxiety, excitement, fear, inexplicable giddiness, and longing. All these feelings mixed up inside her was screwing with her physical wellness. She took another deep breath as she waited for the little man to turn green.

 

Successfully grabbing a cab, Lily sat silently in the back, continuing to take deep, calming breaths. She mentally slapped herself for being an emotional wreck. What was she so nervous about? She was there, as it was later revealed to her by Siwon, because of a charitable event. The Choi family has been a supporter of this particular charity for over a decade, and that night, there was a gala going to be held for the foundation’s 50th anniversary. Mr. and Mrs. Choi had previous engagements abroad, which was why they asked their son to represent their family well during the event. Lily guessed that Siwon had two extra invitations, since they’re a family of four, that’s why he invited her and Donghae to go along. Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more to this thing. Why would they invite her? He could’ve asked one of the boys, or one of Jiwon’s friends to fill the spot. Flying her to Seoul was, to her, a bit too extravagant for just a gala dinner. But then again, she’d been flown to different parts of the world the past year just for an almost-date. She should be used to this already.

 

The cab smoothly slowed to a halt in front of a familiar building. She’s only been there once, but she remembered it very well. It’s only been a little over a month, but everything looked different now. She was seeing everything in a different light. Or maybe she was just feeling queasy because of all the emotions tossing around inside her. Despite the confusion, she was sure of one thing: there was someone she wanted to see badly, so bad that the front desk security had to chase after her when she rushed to the elevators, completely forgetting that she had to check-in.

 

The ding! of the elevator made her jump. Lily shot right out of there as soon as the doors opened, her feet moved on their own volition. In her mind, she was clawing at the walls, urging her body to slow down because she wasn’t ready. But her legs weren’t listening. They were taking, long, swift strides, completely ignoring her mental commands. Before she knew it, her fist was knocking on a door. Panicked, she braced herself. This was his floor. What will she do if he answers the door?

 

Oh, just grab him by the collar and kiss him until both of you collapse, said sassy!Ryeowook in her head, followed by malicious sniggering.

 

Goodness, it’s back, Lily thought bleakly. She had a brief respite from that particular voice. Now that it’s back, she was closer to being 100% sure that she’s insane. Maybe she already was, because sassy!Ryeowook’s suggestion was exactly what she wanted to do, only the rational part of her kept on sweeping it under the “ARE YOU FREAKING INSANE?!” rug.

 

The door suddenly swung open as she shook to clear her head. A middle-aged lady with a kind smile greeted her. She introduced herself as the dorm’s cleaning lady. She informed Lily that everyone was out doing their respective schedules, but will be back in a little while. And, as per Donghae-ssi’s instructions, she prepared food and snacks for the special guest, and to tell her to not be the least bit uncomfortable in the dorm. Lily shyly bowed and thanked the ahjumma profusely for her hospitality. The ahjumma waved off her thanks, saying that she enjoyed doing these things anyway. However, after insisting on watching her finish a meal, Lily couldn’t help but notice that she was staring at her strangely. She ignored it at first, but it went on until the ahjumma was preparing to leave.

 

Finally, with her hand on the doorknob, the ahjumma turned to her and asked, “You... What’s your relation to Donghae-ssi? Or any of the boys?”

 

Lily had to pause to hold in her laughter. She should’ve known that this would be the lady’s concern. It was, after all, curious, as to why one of the boys would give special treatment to a girl if she weren’t a relative, a close friend, or... something more. Lily couldn’t help wonder how many girls, other than their moms and sisters, have they brought to this dorm. The image of Kyuhyun holding a faceless girl’s hand and pulling her towards his room flashed in her head. Her chest suddenly constricted painfully, causing her to gag and cough.

 

“OMO! OMO!” the ahjumma cried in alarm, rushing to thump her back. “Gwenchana?”

 

“Gwenchanayo,” Lily managed to choke out after a huge gulp of water. This whole in-love-with-Kyu thing is beginning to be hazardous to her health. “Kamsahamnida.”

 

“I-I’m sorry if I asked a very sensitive question,” the ahjumma said, adjusting her handbag’s strap’s position on her right shoulder. “You don’t have to tell me if you’d rather not.”

 

“No, it’s alright,” Lily replied, back to normal at last. “I... I’m actually Henry’s cousin. Since Henry and Donghae are close, he’s the one my cousin asked to take care of me.”

 

It was the same old lie, but really, the truth would be so much more complicated to explain. How would she put it? “I was actually a stranger that helped save Hyukjae then became Donghae’s almost-girlfriend who’s now his good friend that is in love with his annoying bandmate and is not liking it one bit.”

 

“Oh... Arasso,” the ahjumma said. “Alright, I’ll leave you alone now. There are more food in the fridge if you get hungry later. Annyeong!”

 

Lily let out a sigh of relief when the door closed behind the older lady. It wasn’t that she didn’t like her, she was really nice, but she just - her nerves were so frayed by the anticipation. She expected to get over the shock of seeing him again after her epiphany right away. But every minute of of delay gave more time for the voices in her head (the rational, sane side and sassy!Ryeowook) to argue some more, inducing more nausea.

 

Lily gave up on eating. She’s never going to keep anything down in her current state. Keeping herself busy, she washed the things she used and found some plastic wrap to cover the food. Afterwards, she thought of cleaning the dorm, but since the ahjumma was there earlier, everything was already spotless. She sighed. She wanted to call Donghae and ask when everybody would be here, but decided against it. He was probably in the middle of something important at that moment. She should just quietly wait there.

 

Fifteen minutes later, Lily was lying sideways on the couch staring at the TV blankly with half-closed eyes, not really seeing the program being aired. It was one of her weird things - whenever she stays still on a really comfortable place, like this unbelievable soft couch, she’s 90% guaranteed to fall asleep almost instantly. The quietness of the empty dorm combined with her jet lag slowly lulled her to sleep.

 

Muffled chatter and footsteps made Lily stir. She reached out her left hand, feeling for her phone to press the snooze button, but only getting air. It took a couple of moments for her to realize where she was, and that the noise that woke her up wasn’t her alarm. Slowly, she sat up and stretched while letting out a huge yawn. At that very moment, when was wide enough to fit a whole apple, the door swung open and in came Hyukjae.

 

“HOLY CRAP!” he cried, startled at the sight of her. Panicked, the alarm of embarrassment on the orange level (green was lowest, red highest), Lily grabbed a pillow and covered her face. She lied back down facing the back of the couch, wishing that she could disappear into its folds. She heard other voices ask what the matter was, to which Hyukjae replied, “YA! Donghae, there’s something on the couch waiting for you.”

 

A series of footsteps followed, then she felt someone sit on the space beside her legs. She knew that she was acting ridiculous, not wanting to see her fresh from sleep. Heck, they’ve seen her in various states of messiness, so why care now?

 

Kyuhyun might be there, that’s why, supplied sassy!Ryeowook, and you wanna look all pretty for him.

 

“Lily-ah, wake up, we’re home,” Donghae said softly, gently shaking her.

 

“She was awake when I came in,” Hyukjae reported.

 

Darn you, Hyukjae, Lily cursed in her mind. I could’ve feigned sleep until everyone was safely in their rooms and have a chance to freshen up.

 

“Lily? Hey. What’s wrong?” Donghae asked, shaking her once more. “C’mon, get up. It’s us. Don’t you want to see us?”

 

“No,” Lily replied, her voice muffled by the cushions. “Make them go away.”

 

“What are you talking about? We all-”

 

“Forget it, hyung,” Kyuhyun interrupted. “She obviously only wants to see you. We get it. We’ll just be in our rooms.”

 

No no no no nooo! Kyuhyun! Lily screamed internally. I want to see you. I’m dying to. But... not like this. I have to... I need to look like someone you’d love back.

 

“Ya, Lil, for someone who doesn’t want to see me, you sure text me a lot. STOP ASKING ME WHERE I AM!” Hyukjae said as he made his way to his room.

 

“I STILL HAVE NIGHTMARES OF YOU GETTING LOST!!!” Lily shouted back, her face still hidden.

 

“Annyeong Lily...” came Sungmin’s meek greeting.

 

She listened for the sound of two doors closing before finally taking a peek. A pouting Donghae welcomed her to the world.

 

“What’s up with you?” he questioned.

 

“What do you mean? There’s nothing up with me. I’m normally like this!” Lily replied, a little too defensively.

 

“You haven’t seen us in over a month, but you’re acting like you don’t care right now. That is NOT normal you,” Donghae contradicted.

 

Lily sighed. She sat up straight, pulled up her legs on the couch, and rested her chin on her knees. “It’s just... that antisocial side of me you never got to see. Ask Clare. There are times when I just hate people in general.”

 

“Bull,” Donghae said, making Lily look at him with wide eyes. “If that’s the case then you shouldn’t want me here also. Unless-”

 

He paused. Then barked out a laugh. Donghae nudged Lily with his shoulder and wiggled his eyebrows at her. Lily returned the gesture with a solid WTF?!?!?! look. When he kept looking at her like he knew a deep, dark secret of hers, Lily grabbed a pillow and hit him with it.

 

“If you don’t stop that, I’m gonna smother you with this,” she threatened.

 

“Psssh, still not admitting it,” Donghae said. “Come on, let’s go upstairs. You’re staying in Teuk hyung’s room. All the stuff you need are there.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

The 12th floor was also quiet because the other occupants were still out. Donghae let Lily enter first, and then led her to Leeteuk’s room. Excitement danced in his eyes as he pulled the sliding door open.

 

She couldn’t help but take in a breath sharply. Lying on Leeteuk’s immaculately white room, in stark contrast with the spotless duvet, was a gown in rich purple, embellished with tiny pearls and beads not unlike her purple birthday cake and the cupcakes in Kona Beans. Only one person came to mind of whom could’ve given this.

 

“Siwon dropped it off this morning,” Donghae informed. Even though she hid it by looking away, he caught his friend’s face fall. Donghae had to suppress another bout of laughter.

 

“Oh? Siwon?” Lily asked in the most fail nonchalant tone. “He... took care of all of this? Picked it out and delivered it here? So... sweet of him. I thought he’d be too busy to do all that.”

 

“Well, if you must know, Kyuhyun coordinated w/ our designer noonas to make that dress. For someone who wears whatever he grabs first in the closet, he sure knew a lot about designing when it came to this,” Donghae revealed.

 

Lily’s lips automatically turned up in a smile, which she hastily covered with a hand, and masked the cover-up action with a cough. Donghae gulped down a chuckle at her reaction. She thinks she’s being coy, but she was so obviously happy about it, it was too adorable.

 

“So, you like it?” Donghae asked.

 

“I... don’t know why you let someone with fashion paralysis design my dress, but oh well, it turned out fine,” Lily replied as breezily as she could, but deep inside, she was doing her happy dance. He cared enough to do this for her. Maybe she stood a chance...?

 

“Aish, really,” Donghae sighed. “Just start getting ready already. The gala begins at 8, and given the flow of traffic, it’d take 30-45 minutes to get there, so you have... only an hour to make yourself pretty. Will that be enough?”

 

Lily turned to face him, hands on her hips, and demanded, “What, are you saying that I need more than an hour’s effort just to be pretty?!”

 

Looking like a deer caught in headlights, Donghae shook his head vigorously, eyes wide in panic. “No no no no no! No, I didn’t mean it like that. You already ARE pretty! But as a girl, I mean, girls usually take long to get ready, whatever it is you do in the bathroom...”

 

Holding him under a mock-judging gaze for a second longer, Lily finally softened her expression. “Duh, I was kidding. An hour’s fine. Now go away so I can figure out how to use these things,” she said, motioning towards the wide selection of make-up, skin and hair products, and accessories laid out beside the dress.

 

 

 

 

 

At 7:05 sharp, a knock came on her door. Lily has actually been ready a good 10 minutes earlier. She’s just been sitting on the bed and staring at herself at the mirror in front, convincing herself that she looked okay. She wasn’t well-versed in the art of make-up application and accessorizing, so she just went with whatever she felt looked right and hoped that it really did look right. Clumsily getting on her feet, which were now trapped in torture devices disguised as pretty, purple, peep-toe shoes with 4-inch stilettos, she went over and slid the door open to reveal the incarnation of Prince Charming. Clad in a shiny black dress shirt adorned with a cute off-white bow tie under a fine, expensive-looking off-white jacket, Siwon gave her an open-mouthed smile.

 

“Whoa... I think you shouldn’t let Donghae see you or else he’d put up a fight,” Siwon said, sounding amazed. “I think I might put up a fight, too.”

 

“Ya! What are you talking about? You’ve been out of the running for a very long time already!” she heard Donghae say from the hallway. “And please, I can control my-”

 

Donghae’s sentence was cut off when he slid the door further and was treated to a full view of the made up Lily for the first time. He looked her up and down unabashedly, making Lily blush. Finally, his gaze wandered back on her face, looking her straight in the eyes, not saying a word the whole time. Siwon thumped him on the back to bring him back to the present.

 

“You were saying?” Siwon teased, laughter in his voice.

 

“Is it alright to issue a challenge even though he doesn’t know?” Donghae replied, turning to his bandmate.

 

“Dude. You promised. We’ve talked about this,” Siwon reminded.

 

“Arasso, arasso,” Donghae sighed.

 

“What the heck are you two talking about?! What challenge?! Who’s fighting who? Is this a new drama both of you are starring in?” Lily demanded, frustrated at their cryptic conversation.

 

“Ani, never mind. Come on, my lady,” Siwon said, offering her his arm. “Let’s show you off to the others. I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces.”

 

“Goodness, I’m beginning to feel like a fish in an aquarium,” Lily muttered, taking Siwon’s arm.

 

 

 

 

Normally, she would’ve been gawking at the sights outside the window, not to mention letting the fact that she’s currently riding in a luxurious sports car sink in. But Lily was staring despondently at her hands on her lap, her torso securely fastened to the Burberry-upholstered seats with a belt. Donghae glanced at her from the passenger seat, a tiny smile on his lips. He didn’t say a word to her, but silently nudged Siwon, who was driving, and gave him a meaningful look. Siwon shot a quick glance at their friend, too, his expression mirroring Donghae’s.

 

“So Hae, how many girls out there do you think would kill to be in a beautiful dress, in a nice car, going to a party with two very handsome gentlemen?” Siwon jokingly asked his bandmate.

 

“Hmm...” Donghae said, pretending to think. “Maybe... as many as the stars in the sky?”

 

“I think so, too,” Siwon agreed. “So why does the lucky girl who actually gets to do those things look like she’s going to the gallows?”

 

“Well, you see Siwon, sometimes it’s not enough to just give a girl all elements of a fairytale to make her happy,” Donghae explained as if he’s explaining a scientific theory. “It should be the RIGHT elements. In this case, the dress is right, the ride is right, the party is right, but the RIGHT GENTLEMAN isn’t here.”

 

Siwon did an exaggerated intake of breath of surprise. “B-but... I tried so hard! I put a lot of effort into my styling and all to look like the right gentleman! What more do I have to do?!”

 

“If you could grow a bit shorter, develop a bratty attitude, and engrave a few pockmarks on your face, I’d say you’d have a bit more of a chance,” Donghae pointed out, which made Siwon burst out in laughter.

 

Lily simultaneously gave each of the noisy boys a slap on the arm. “What the heck are you two blabbering about? What’s this about engraving Siwon’s face? Are you thinking of doing surgery? YOU DON’T NEED ANYTHING CHANGED YOU’RE PERFECT!”

 

Her statement launched the two to a fresh bout of hysterical laughter. It took them a couple of minutes to calm down and answer her. “Lily, were you that deep in thought that that’s the only thing you heard?” Donghae asked.

 

“I... think I heard something about... stars...?” Lily replied tentatively. She really was tuned out from the moment she entered the car. She expected that all of them would be going together to the gala. As it turns out, the people of 11th floor left earlier to pick up Kangin from a schedule on the way to the party. She was finally physically, mentally, and emotionally prepared to face Kyuhyun when she stepped in the elevator. But it seems like fate wanted to prolong her agony a bit more. Now, she’s back to anxiously anticipating him. Did she really look nice? Or were Siwon and Donghae just saying that because they’re her friends? What if she did look nice, but not according to Kyu’s taste? She sighed in frustration inwardly. This was so nerve-wrecking! She missed the days when she couldn’t care less about what she looked like in front of him, the days when it didn’t matter to her whether he was there or not.

 

During the next red light, their car stopped in front of a bus stop where a group of friends around their early 20s were sitting. There were five of them - three guys and two girls. They seemed to be talking animatedly about something judging from the large gestures of the guy in the middle. Lily’s eyes fell on the girl sitting to the left of gesture guy and the guy wearing a striped scarf on his right. The girl said something, to which scarf guy laughed and made a comment. The girl’s expression, which was previously cheery, turned into annoyance. She shifted in her seat to face the other girl and continued talking to just them, completely ignoring scarf guy. Lily saw gesture guy give scarf guy a slightly reprimanding look before going back to the conversation. Scarf guy sat there silently, a bratty, pouty expression on, his arms folded across his chest. The girl, even though she was obviously irked by what scarf guy said, glanced at him time and again, her eyes showing signs of worry probably because of his sudden quietness. The other three went on with the conversation, completely unaware that the girl already shivered a couple of times. Scarf guy, however, noticed all of it. Quietly, he unwound the striped fabric from his neck and, nudging gesture guy, whispered an instruction to him. Gesture guy, still preoccupied with whatever he’s saying to the guy at the other end, just nodded and placed the scarf around the girl’s shoulder. The girl was a little surprised, but then hugged the scarf tighter around her. Realizing that it was scarf guy’s striped scarf, she turned to look at him, the words “thank you” forming on her lips. But scarf guy was looking straight ahead with a bored face, as if he didn’t just do something incredibly thoughtful.

 

Lily smiled to herself. Scarf guy was so like Kyu. How many times has he done something amazing for her and then acted like he didn’t do anything? Her smile, however, vanished when she realized that she was like that girl, too. She was so annoyed at him from the very beginning. But thinking back now, never once did she not care about him. Like that girl’s constant checking glances, Lily was always aware whether Kyuhyun was around or not. She would always ask after Hyukjae because, well, he’s the idiot who got lost and would probably do so again. But with that, she’d also silently look for Kyu. It was like a reflex. She’d be annoyed if he were there, but it’d also feel incomplete if he wasn’t.

 

Why do I have to have these realizations now? Lily thought desperately. Is the anxiety and the nausea and the hanging-at-the-end-of-my-wits not enough?!

 

She’s never felt this excited and scared and impatient and confused all her life. It was like waiting for the sequel of one’s favorite book or movie. You can’t wait to see what happens next - you might get everything you wanted, or you could be faced with a crushing disappointment. Either way, you’d still read it or go see it because you love it, no matter what the outcome is.

 

“Look alive, Lil,” Donghae said. “We’re here.”

 

Siwon smoothly wound the car around a horseshoe-shaped driveway. There were, thankfully, only a handful of photographers present. A sharp-looking man in a red-and-black uniform opened her door. Donghae lent her a hand - it was a little difficult to climb out of a low sports car in a dress and stilettos. Nervously smoothing down her skirt, Lily followed the two men into the hotel. Being the patron, Siwon shook hand after hand and exchanged niceties with almost everyone they met. A few of the people also greeted Donghae and chatted with him. Lily awkwardly stood to one side, smiling as sweetly as she could when one of the guys introduced her (as usual, “Henry’s cousin”). When her escorts were dragged for a photo-op, she remained in the same spot, shifting her weight from foot to foot. She could feel eyes glance curiously at her. She wished she could hide under her own skirt.

 

“O, Lily! Where are your dates?”

 

Lily froze at Yesung’s voice.

 

My god, they’re here. He’s here. Oh my god. Lily panicked inwardly. Trying her best to act normal, she turned around to greet the rest of the boys. She saw him, out of the corner of her eye, talking to Sungmin as they approached. She forced herself not to look at him directly because she knew that once she does, she won’t be able to stop. With that fleeting glance, she already knew he looked beautiful in a forest green blazer and khaki pants tucked into black leather boots that ended a couple inches above his ankles. She wondered who helped him throw that outfit together.

 

“They’re over there somewhere taking pictures with the other charity patrons,” Lily informed Yesung.

 

“And they left you here? Alone? Those boys,” Kangin said disapprovingly.

 

“No, it’s okay. I... I’m a lot more comfortable away from cameras,” Lily replied.

 

“But you should take at least one photo with us! I mean, look at you!” Hyukjae gushed. “Wow, if I knew...”

 

“If you knew what?” Kyuhyun questioned his hyung after hitting him on the arm.

 

“Ow! You are such a violent maknae!” Hyukjae complained, rubbing his arm. “I was just trying to compliment Lily. There was no need for hitting.... aish...”

 

“If you were gonna say, ‘If I knew you could look like this, I would’ve pushed through with that proposal’, well, it’s a little too late for that, isn’t it?” Kyuhyun shot back. “Besides, it wouldn’t really be a compliment. Maybe more like a threat.”

 

“You really get on my nerves sometimes, Kyu,” Hyukjae said, narrowing his eyes at his bandmate.

 

“Aigoo, it’s a beautiful night and there are beautiful people here. Why don’t we all go in, take a seat, and have some drinks?” Sungmin cut in, giving Lily an apologetic smile while gently taking a hold of Hyukjae’s arm and pulling him towards the banquet hall’s entrance. With one last annoyed glance at Kyuhyun, Hyukjae started following Sungmin; the other guys did the same.

 

Now all that was left was Kyuhyun standing beside her. Lily felt her heart stop, and then resume beating triple time. For the first time in a month, for the first time after that horrible realization, she was alone with him. She was so aware of his presence beside her, as if she could feel the force of his existence dominating the air around her. She wanted to turn towards him and talk to him like she used to do, but for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out what to say. Why has it gotten this bad?!

 

“Well, since your dates abandoned you,” Kyuhyun began, taking two steps forward, effectively putting himself in front of her.

 

“And you’ll probably fall flat on your face in those shoes if you walk alone...” he trailed off. He offered his arm, a serene smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye. Lily froze, her whole body wanting to melt despite the cold. She had to use every fiber of her being to not kiss him right then. How can someone so bratty look so angelic? She felt utterly vulnerable under that gaze.

 

“I can walk fine by myself, thank you very much,” Lily replied, her defense mechanism whirring to life. “And they’re not my dates. None of you are.”

 

Kyuhyun’s angelic smile was replaced by a scowl. His face darkening, he let his offered arm fall to his side. Without another word, he marched into the banquet hall without so much as a backward glance.

 

 

 

 

 

I’m an idiot. I’m an idiot idiot idiot a bigger idiot than Hyukjae. Lily mentally berated herself. Why is it that time and again, she manages to hurt people she never wanted to hurt? Kyuhyun’s cold expression earlier flashed back in her head, making her heart constrict painfully. He was so beautiful, yet she made him feel like crap. Why did she have to do that? It could’ve been perfect. He was actually being nice, which is rare, yet she just had to say stupid things and ruin it all.

 

She snuck a glance at him across the table. He was watching the video presentation along with everyone else, treating her with a view of his profile. It was amazing how only a month ago, she wouldn’t have been mesmerized by his tall nose, the curve of his earlobe, and the outline of his Adam’s apple. She also wouldn’t have been doing an inordinate amount of staring at his lips. Oh, his lips. She never noticed before but he had such y lips, especially when they're slightly parted when he's absorbed with something like he was right now…

 

"I don’t know why you’re still pretending you don’t like him when you’re being that obvious," Donghae whispered into her ear, startling Lily.

 

"What?!" Lily hissed. She cleared , realizing that she didn't sound cool at all. "I mean, what are you talking about?" she tried again, hoping to sound more casual.

 

Donghae chuckled, amused by her teenage girl reaction. "You have been acting strange around Kyuhyun since you arrived. And now you're staring at him so much that you would've made him explode if you had telekinetic powers."

 

Lily blushed, not meeting his eyes. Oh my goodness, this was really embarrassing. Why can't she be cool?

 

"You've finally realized it, haven't you?" Donghae asked when she didn't speak.

 

"Realized what?" Lily replied, still trying to be coy.

 

"That you're in love with him."

 

Her initial reflex was to feign ignorance. She was not that surprised that Donghae knew, since he and Siwon have been teasing her since earlier that night. Lily opened to deny it, but then closed it when no words came out. Oh, what's the use? It's true. She's in love with him and she doesn't know what to do. She looked at Donghae helplessly.

 

Donghae snorted back laughter upon seeing her expression. Lily looked so lost as if she were left in the middle of a labyrinth blindfolded. He patted her head.

 

"It’s alright. I’ve known for a while," he confessed.

 

"A while? How can you have known for a while when I've just found out?" Lily questioned.

 

"Because they say that smart people are stupid in love and you, Lily, like Kyuhyun, are smart," Donghae explained.

 

"Oh…" Lily said. "So… If you already knew back then, that means you're smart in love. Wouldn't that make you stupid, intellect-wise?"

 

Donghae gave her a look that said, "Oh, shut up."

 

"I'm kidding! I'm kidding. You're smart both in love AND intellect. Please Badaaaaaa…. help me," Lily pouted, tugging at his arm. "What am I supposed to do?"

 

"You could tell him how you feel," Donghae said simply. Lily looked at him as if he just told her to jump off a bridge. She shook her head firmly.

 

"Oh, come on you wuss. What's there to be scared of?" he challenged.

 

"Oh! Um, let's see. Hmm. Have you heard of a thing called REJECTION?!" Lily snapped.

 

Donghae laughed. Hyukjae and Sungmin, who were beside him, looked at him curiously. He waved to tell them it's nothing and they went back to watching the video presentation.

 

"What's so funny?!" Lily hissed.

 

"I can't believe you don't know,” he whispered back, still laughing. “Really, clueless people are indeed clueless.”

 

"Oh my gahd will you just spill it already!"

 

"I don't wanna spoil the surprise. But just know this: Kyuhyun rejecting you is as probable as Hyukjae rejecting ," Donghae said.

 

Lily was about to demand he explain himself but the video ended and lights . Everyone applauded and, halfheartedly, she joined in. Okay. Confess to Kyuhyun. That's an idea. Was it a good idea? She snuck a glance at him and found him looking at her in a rather intense way. She felt butterflies explode into being inside her stomach. Yeah, she can't go on like this forever. She had to know.

 

"Tell me more about this plan of yours," she whispered to Donghae.

 

“You’ll see in a little while. I had to ask for Siwon’s help though. He laughed out loud, said that it’s about time someone did something about you two. He said it’s like watching a frustrating drama.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the plates for the dinner’s last course were being cleared, the host of the night went back up the stage. “Ladies, and gentlemen,” said the host into the mic. “We are now starting the anonymous auction. As you saw in the video, our organization is aiming to widen its reach, to help more people in need, and we need your help, dear patrons, to accomplish this.”

 

“Auction? There’s an auction?” Lily asked Donghae.

 

“Sssshhh...” was all Donghae said.

 

“But we won’t do it the boring way. No, we have a treat in store for you. Behind the stage are precious items donated by generous people, some of which are with us today. They are not ordinary items you see in normal auctions. Because we believe that love, friendship, and compassion are what people need more than expensive, material things, we have prepared a unique selection with these in mind for you to bid on. With these, good memories will be formed between people. Isn’t that one of the most precious things people can share?”

 

“Well that sounds cheesy,” Lily muttered under her breath.

 

“I bet you’d change your mind about that later,” Donghae replied with a mysterious smile.

 

“Ugh, jinja. Will you stop being cryptic? I thought you had a plan?” Lily demanded.

 

“Be patient! The plan’s about to start.” Donghae said.

 

“I have no idea what kind of plan involves sitting here doing nothing,” Lily complained. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, my bladder’s nagging me to go.”

 

The gentleman that he is, Donghae got up to help Lily out of her chair. With head slightly bowed, Lily wound around a couple of tables and out the huge, wooden, double doors of the banquet hall to get to the restrooms down the corridor. She was thankful that no other ladies from the gala were there. It may just be that she’s a little paranoid, but she felt like they’ve been giving her looks of curiosity, judgement, and jealousy all night long. She couldn’t blame them though. She was surrounded by some of the most sought after bachelors in Korea, even the world, tonight. And she was an unknown person. It was a little scary because of the possibility of news about her breaking out, but they had that cover story to fall back onto.

 

Feeling refreshed after emptying her bladder, Lily took her time washing her hands and looking at herself in the mirror. She wondered what Kyuhyun was doing right now. She’s been trying to squeeze ideas out of her brain on how to make it up to him for being a . If only her heart would stop seizing every time he looked at her, she’d be able to come up with something decent.

 

Oh, Kyu... What am I going to do about you? Lily thought helplessly. I need to talk to you. Please don’t be mad at me anymore. I’ll do better.

 

She had to get him alone. That’s what she had to do. With a new resolve, she made her way back to the banquet hall and to their table, which she found half-empty. Donghae, Siwon, Sungmin, Kyuhyun, and Hyukjae were missing from their seats.

 

“Where did they go?” Lily asked Yesung as she took her seat.

 

“They’re participating in the auction,” Yesung replied simply.

 

What? How are they participating? Maybe they’ll be the ones to bring out the items. Attractive people usually do that, Lily thought. Reaching for a drink, she noticed a token resembling a golden poker chip lie next to her water glass. Curiously, she picked it up and looked at it closely. It had embossed edges and a sunken center. The outside was clear glass, while the inside was glittery, sparkling as she turned it over in her hand. When she shifted her hand, she was surprised to see something holographic that shimmered inside.

 

“Oh yeah, Siwon left that there for you. For the auction,” Yesung informed her.

 

What could this be? Shrugging, Lily placed it gently back down on the table. The host-turned-auctioneer announced the presentation of the first five items for bidding. A group of uniformed individuals came out at the same time and started handing out small, black remote control-like things to people. The auctioneer explained that, since this was an anonymous auction, the patrons can bid discreetly with this device. They only need to enter their bidder’s number and their bid using the remote and hit send. Their bid will automatically show up on the screen in front. And like normal, the highest one wins.

 

The auction started with Lot Number 1, which was an earthen vase, very rustic looking, and was made by one of the charity’s patrons, who was an up-and-coming potter, especially for this event. It included a personal pottery lesson by the said patron. The bid started from 1,000,000won. Lily’s jaw dropped. If all else would start from that amount, then she could just very well give the remote control back since she would never be able to afford any of it.

 

The second batch consisted of things kids would love. There was a handmade rocking horse by an actor whose hobby was woodcrafting. The lot included a tour inside his personal studio and a choice of any 3 masterpieces from there. Lily was very interested in the complete arts set consisting of almost every kind of drawing and painting materials one could think of. That lot, however, included a cameo in a drama, and the role was for a child’s. Besides, the starting bid was for 5,000,000won. She could hear her bank account laughing hysterically at her for even thinking about it. She just went back to playing with the remote.

 

The remote control in her hand fell on the table with a thump when the next batch was introduced. These weren’t items, no. There stood five young, dashing gentlemen on the stage - one looking confident, the other shy, the next adorable, followed by one that’s stunned, and in the front and center: awkward. The missing people on her table were not participating in the auction, they WERE being auctioned! Siwon looked comfortable up there with his easy smile. Donghae stood next to him looking bashful. Sungmin was being naturally cute at the other end. Hyukjae was to his left, his eyes big like Choco’s. His expression gave away that he probably did not know anything about this and was just dragged up there. Last but definitely not the least was Kyuhyun, who stood like a statue in the middle, looking like he wished the ground would swallow him up. Donghae saw his weird expression and discreetly nudged him on his side. Kyuhyun then slowly opened up a smile, which looked really forced it was almost scary.

 

“Now, ladies and gentlemen. I don’t think we need any introduction for these fine men. Despite their busy schedules, these five volunteered their time and effort to help us reach our goal. Let’s give a round of applause for Super Junior’s Sungmin, Eunhyuk, Kyuhyun, Donghae, and Siwon!” said the auctioneer.

 

Lily’s mouth hung open as her hands automatically joined in with the clapping. What the... What are they doing there?! What, were they auctioning off their clothes? Autographed merchandise? Donghae’s hand drawings? What?

 

“Lot Number 11, Lee Sungmin-ssi,” announced the auctioneer, interrupting her thoughts. “This handsome young man wants you and a friend to join him shopping. Sungmin-ssi, would you like to say something about your offer?”

 

Sungmin smiled sweetly as a stage hand handed him a microphone. “Annyeonghaseyo, Sungmin-imnida,” he greeted respectfully with a bow. “I... am said to be a fashion terrorist. I really don’t know anything about matching clothes, and the members, especially this one here (points at Hyukjae, who looked even more surprised than he already was), often complain about my lack of style. So, ladies, and gentlemen, if you want, hehehe, I would love it if you and a friend would help me pick out clothes that are fashionable. In return, I’d also go shopping with you and tell you which styles men like, and if you need any advice on anything, you can ask me. I’m yours for that whole day.”

 

A low sound of collective murmurs buzzed around the banquet hall. Lily turned left and right to see ladies of all ages consulting with their friends and giggling while giving Sungmin appreciative glances. Even in this posh society, Sungmin could effortlessly charm every woman. Lily felt oddly proud.

 

The bid started at 6,000,000won. A number instantly flashed on the screen, quickly followed by a second number with a higher bid beside it. More and more numbers appeared in rapid succession, and in a mere two minutes, the amount of 10 million won was reached. Lot Number 11 was sold at that price.

 

Next came Hyukjae, who amazingly managed to pull a decent offer out of his in that short time. As dorky as he normally was, when Hyukjae turns his y mode on, it was difficult not to stare at him. Before accepting the microphone being passed to him, he took a step forward and did a short, impromptu dance solo, which made Lily want to grab a huge banner labeled with and wrap him with it. Everyone fell in a stunned silence, except Donghae, who was visibly smiling in approval onstage.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Hyukjae said after taking the mic from a shocked Sungmin, “I will teach you that whole dance myself, if you win me. Also, one month free deliveries from Tous Les Jour.”

 

A few moments more of stillness followed his offer before the auctioneer snapped out of his trance and announced the starting bid amount. From 6,000,000won, it skyrocketed to 10M in just a few seconds. The bidding war continued for a few more minutes, Bidder Number 24 and 35 going head to head in the end. By the final pound of the gavel, Lot Number 12 was won by Bidder Number 35 for 11.3M won. Lily clapped enthusiastically as Hyukjae bowed down low in all directions, a satisfied grin on his face.

 

 

 

~ ~ ~

 

 

 

“Well isn’t this exciting?” gushed the auctioneer. “Alright, up next, Lot Number 13. Ladies, get out your wallets because you are gonna wanna bid on this once in a lifetime chance. It will warm your hearts in this cold winter night. For Lot Number 13, we have one of the best voices in entertainment, Cho Kyuhyun-ssi!”

 

The spotlight hit him right in the face. Kyuhyun scrunched his eyes shut, and then slowly blinked them open. He saw several women turn to their friends and whisper, some giving him appreciative looks, others, well, giving him the kind of stares that’s making him blush. It felt nice to know that at least some people wanted him. It was difficult to see anything beyond the stage because of the spotlight, but he tried his best to scan the tables for Lily. There she was beside Yesung, looking so amazing that he almost peed his pants when he caught sight of her earlier. But she wasn’t looking at him. No, she was busy laughing at something Shindong was saying.

 

Probably waiting for Donghae’s turn, Kyuhyun thought bitterly. He felt a scowl coming on, but he managed to keep grinning like an idiot. For Siwon. For the charity.

 

His mind wondered back to earlier that evening. He knew Lily was coming that day, and he’d been a nervous wreck since 24 hours ago. It was weird, but he somehow missed her even more this time around, especially since that night he sang her to sleep. They didn’t get to talk much after that. His schedule continued to be insanely packed, as it always was this time of year, and he guessed that she was busy wrapping up her studies in Australia. Still, he expected a warm welcome from her, or at the very least, her annoyed face, the one she wears when he starts being stupid around her. But he didn’t even get a hello. What he got was a “go away”, and he had no choice but to leave her alone with Donghae once again.

 

Kyuhyun mentally er-punched himself for being the biggest idiot there is. He’s known for a long time that Lily’s heart belonged to Donghae. He was supposed to have accepted that already. Why was he still this torn apart because of it?

 

Acceptance is one thing, but moving on is another, said a wise voice in his head.

 

Yes, moving on. He couldn’t move on yet, not when he’s stupidly clinging on to an illusional thread of hope. To him, Lily and Donghae were already everything BUT official. He wished that they’d just announce it already, only within the group, so all his hopes would already be stamped out. Then he can move on. Right now, he felt like he was in some sort of limbo because he could see signs of them not being together, like not talking on the phone as often as before anymore. There were times when even Donghae was surprised about things that he, Kyuhyun, would tell him about Lily, which showed that he wasn’t updated with her day-to-day anymore.

 

But why did Lily want to be alone with him back in the dorm? And awhile ago, during dinner, they kept on whispering to each other and exchanging meaningful smiles. It almost drove him insane with jealousy. But who was he to be jealous? She wasn’t his.

 

“Kyuhyun-ssi, would you mind telling us your fabulous offer?” requested the auctioneer, bringing him back to reality.

 

“Ah, annyeonghaseyo,” Kyuhyun greeted the crowd. “I... only have one thing I love doing. And that’s singing.”

 

“Please don’t believe him. He loves gaming as much as he loves singing,” Hyukjae butted in, momentarily grabbing the mic from Kyu.

 

Everyone laughed, including Kyu. “Okay, he’s right. I also love gaming, but not as much as I love singing. Or else I wouldn’t have chosen to be a singer,” Kyuhyun admitted. “I know that everyone is expecting me to offer something along the lines of singing. However, like what our host mentioned earlier, this auction is to make memories shared between individuals. As much as I love to sing, I do it almost everyday already. That’s why I would love to share a first with whomever wins me. I want it to be the first for both of us, so it’ll be equally memorable to both parties. So I’m not going to specify anything. We can talk about what activity we both haven’t done but want to try later. Just... I’m looking forward to sharing one of my ‘firsts’ with you.”

 

He hoped what he said made sense. He had absolutely no idea what to offer. Darn Siwon and his forgetfulness. RIght after the video presentation, one of the organization’s officers approached Siwon and thanked him profusely for volunteering his and his friends’ time to help out. Siwon, like he normally does, humbly said that it was an honor to do so. The officer asked which of his “friends” were participating. To his (and Hyukjae’s) surprise, Siwon pointed them out. The officer graciously shook their hands and thanked them for their help. All he could do is force a smile and nod. Siwon later apologized, saying that he had been so busy the past few weeks that it slipped his mind to tell them about this little thing.

 

There was a moment of lull after the auctioneer announced the starting bid (the five of them had equal starting bids). Then, the screen showed a landslide of numbers.

 

7M won. 7.3. 7.5. 8. 8.4 million won. 8.8. 9. 10.

 

The numbers showed up rapidly, forcing the bids to go so high it was dizzying to look at them.

 

“Lot Number 13 for 20.1 million won,” the auctioneer confirmed.

 

“Going once.”

 

The auctioneer looked around, as if urging the crowd to surpass this amount.

 

“Going twice.”

 

Kyuhyun held his breath. This was by far the highest bid of the night, and they were bidding for him. A little excitement danced in his heart. The ladies do love him, even if the one he wanted doesn’t, it’s still nice to know others do.

 

A collective gasp of surprise resounded in the hall, making Kyuhyun snap his head around. On the screen, at the last second, appeared another bid. For 35 million won.

 

“Lot Number 13 for 35 million won, going once... going twice...”

 

Kyuhyun scanned the crowd, trying to decipher which one bid that insane amount, but the darn spotlight was shining too brightly for him to see anything. He heard the gavel fall.

 

“SOLD! Lot Number 13 for 35 million won sold to - oh, what a coincidence! - Bidder Number 13!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Bidder Number 13? Number 13? Would Bidder Number 13 please approach?” the auctioneer called out. “Bidder Number 13?”

 

Kyuhyun looked around, wondering who Bidder Number 13 was. He was backstage along with the others, waiting for their bidders to show up and claim them. Only Hyukjae was left of the five. An innocent-looking lady who looked to be a couple of years younger than him approached the auctioneer. Kyuhyun couldn’t help the smile spreading on his face.

 

This is Bidder Number 13? Hmm, not bad. I hope she doesn’t make me go pick flowers or whatnot, Kyuhyun thought.

 

“Annyeonghaseyo,” he heard the girl say. “I’m here for... Lot Number 12.”

 

His heart sank while Hyukjae’s face lit up like the Christmas Tree on Rockafeller Center in December. Really, why do innocent types get attracted to s like him? He rolled his eyes at his bandmate as Hyukjae waved goodbye to join the girl. There was nothing left to do but to resume pacing.

 

He wondered where Lily was. Did she even bid for him? Of course she didn’t. She bid for Donghae for sure. Too bad someone else won him. He knows he should feel bad for her for having to share her boyfriend with another woman even just for a day. But he couldn’t help but do a celebratory dance deep inside.

 

“Bidder Number 13? Would Bidder Number 13 please approach?” repeated the auctioneer for the umpteenth time. Kyuhyun looked around, surprised. It was only him and the rustic vase that are left to be claimed.

 

Please tell me that my bidder isn’t a hoax. It’ll be too embarrassing, Kyuhyun silently pled. He went over to the wall at the back and rested his forehead on it. This whole night was starting to give him a migraine.

 

“Bidder Number 13 here,” said a voice.

 

Wait - that’s a man’s voice! Kyuhyun thought, shocked.

 

 

 

----------------------

 

 

 

HAPPY 2013 EVERYONE!!! ^^

 

How was your holiday? I hope everyone had a relaxing and fun couple of weeks. Good luck to all of us in this new year! May we all be able to stick to whatever resolutions we just made. LOL! :)))

 

AND HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUNGMINNIE! I <3 you. :)

 

So, it’s already the next year and you’re still reading this. Hahaha! Thank you so so so much. I can’t say that enough. Just know that by reading this and especially by letting me know that you read it through the comments, you actually made my 2012 a really happy year. It was by far the best year I’ve ever had, and you’re part of the reason for it. So thank you. :)

 

Also... yeah, I know I said that I’d like to finish this before the year ended, but it’s hard to write when you’re being distracted by yummy holiday food every single day. LOL!

 

This is yet another freakishly long and I think kinda boring chapter, but I hope you’d endure until the next one. :) Just trust me on that. Hehehe.

 

Again, happy happy new year and thanks!!!

 

 

I LOL’d so hard when I saw this pic coz THE PLANE SAYS LILY HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!