Chapter 16 - Voices In The Dark

If he didn’t know any better, and everything around him wasn’t simply just a blanket of darkness, he would have thought that there was an elephant sitting on him. The pressure against his chest was painfully strong, and it wasn’t just limited to a single place. Something that he couldn’t see had wrapped its tendrils around him - his navel, his wrists, his thighs, everywhere it could reach, slowly dragging him down. Down? Or was it up? In an abyss with nothing at all, but just simply darkness, he had no sense of direction. None.

Lost in the darkness, all alone, and now being dragged around by some mysterious force. Lovely. And if things couldn’t get any worse, everything was starting to feel faint. He couldn’t breath as easily as before, could barely feel his fingers, couldn’t even be bothered to think any more. Surprisingly, it didn’t scare him as much as it should had. To give it all up, that sounded brilliant He allowed himself a tired and drowsy smile.

‘Enough.’ He whispered quietly, the sound echoing loudly in the quiet world of darkness. And all was silent again.

‘Kyuhyun ah!’ A voice pierced the silence, but it sounded so faint. So distant. The said male was so tempted to let it slide. What was the use anyway? ‘Kyuhyun ah!’ The voice called out again, louder this time and with more urgency. ‘Come back here!’ Kyuhyun blearily opened his eyes, not even slightly surprised to see a flicker of light aboe him. Somehow, it seemed like nothing to unsettle him anymore. ‘Give me back the control!’ Heechul hyung, he noted to himself, matching the voice to a face.

‘Yah! Maknae! Let’s go play in the rain!’ The voice changed to a more youthful one. He could easily match it to a childish fish. ‘Donghae hyung…’  He whispered, closing his eyes shut tight.

‘Wanna go out shopping? Come with me please~’ A laughter echoed in the silent world of darkness as the language swapped from Korean to Chinese. ‘Zhou Mi ge’, he grimaced as he forced to mind to go blank, not wanting to face the onslaught of memories.

‘Did you remember to take your jacket? Your scarf? It’s very cold out there. Got everything you need?’Your wallet? Your phone?’ Leeteuk umma.. always nagging, always looking out for him.

‘Beijing Fried Rice? Again? Alright, anything else you want?’ Oh Hankyung ge… the foreigner whom Super Junior treated and loved as much as a brother.

‘Let’s go to the gym! I need to lose weight for our next comeback!’ Shindong hyung, the guy whom the company had never been able to accept him for who he was.

‘Ahhh~~~ I’m so bored… Boreddddd… Kyu, entertain me please…” Sungmin hyung… the restless and adorable child.

‘I’m going out with Junsu to play games at the arcade. Bye!’ Eunhyuk hyung, always smiling that gummy smile of his no matter what happened.

Snippets of conversation from everyday life - things that he had taken for granted.

‘Yah Maknae! Stop terrorising your hyungs!’ Kangin hyung, loving Super Junior despite his fierce looks.

‘Gege, help with my homework?’ Henry ah, the real and talented maknae of Super Juniors, ed at such a young age into the harsh entrainment world yet never once regretting it for the sake of his brothers.

‘Have you had breakfast yet? Lunch? How about dinner?’ Wookie ah, part of the maknae line yet still caring for his hyungs.

‘Kyu ah, have you seen my turtle anywhere? DID YOU FLUSH HIM DOWN THE TOILET BOWL AGAIN?’  Yesung hyung, the weird but dependable hyung.

‘I’m going out to church. Do you wanna come or do you want to stay here and quarrel with Heechul hyung?’ Siwon hyung, the man of exaggerated gestures and a warm heart.

‘Stop. Stop this. Please.’ He covered his ears and pleaded, with whom he did not know. ‘No more… I don’t deserve this.’ Oh, but he knew he did. For all the sins that he had committed, he did.

‘Hello? I’m managed to get time off my schedule so you better treat me to a good restaurant.’ Kibummie who was always with Super Junior in spirit.

It was torture. Pure torture. To hear his hyungs’ voices just when he had decided to give up, to stop fighting, to calmly accept death. Hearing the laughter and joy in their voices whe