And guess who has finally dared to show her face again? :D *smiles innocently*
It... It hasn't been that long, right?? :O I mean, I... I always am this slow... :'(

Here is the update! I think that this chapter, together with chapter 1, are my favorites so far :)
I'm making this story longer and longer as I write, lol, but for a reason! (That you may find out at the end :D)
So for now, this story is not yet nearing its end :) It may soon, but I doubt it :)

And THANK YOU ALL FOR SUBSCRIBING AND COMMENTING~!!! :'D
I'm very happy to know that this story is receiving so much love :'( I hope I won''t disappoint anyone...

And here we go again! ENJOY~~!!!
Tinywings
 

“Would you like to go somewhere with me?”

Sehun should have said no. He should not have let those innocent eyes bore their way into his mind and make him agree. He should have been stronger. Though, all of this was much easier said than done, when he was burdened with all sorts of sins – an exaggerated definition but it really felt so terrible for him – that made him comply to anything the bus boy wanted him to do.

And in all honesty, what could ever happen when the bus boy most probably just wanted some company, since he was still too emotional to talk too much? Indeed. All he had to do was keep the boy company. Nothing more. Of course, it would not be the first time that Sehun thought he had it all planned out in his mind, only to be woken up by reality in the worst way possible.

“Do you like bubble tea?”

Luhan suddenly asked him, catching him off guard. Normally, he would almost have to drag Jongin with him for the sake of bubble tea, for Jongin disliked the drink very much. Not to mention that all his other friends instantly fled whenever he brought up the term ‘bubble tea’, after he had taken them with him countless times. So, it was quite a difference to have someone else ask him whether he liked bubble tea. Very different.

“A-Ah, yes…”

Luhan smiled a little, and Sehun could swear he felt his heartbeats increasing rapidly.

“Then I’ll go buy you some. Wait for me.”

Before Sehun could say anything, Luhan had already disappeared into the shop, leaving Sehun alone outside. Truthfully, this was not exactly what he had planned to happen. If it all was up to him to decide, he would have brought Luhan somewhere quiet - since he had been so certain the bus boy would be crying his eyes out - and even offer him a shoulder to cry on if necessary. They would part without words and if Sehun was lucky, he would not see the bus boy soon. Sehun should have known better than to believe that something like that would happen.

“Just believe me.”

“Alright, I believe you.”

Guilt. Painful guilt.  If only Sehun had the courage to tell Luhan that it was him who had wrote that message, then things would have turned for the better. If only he told the bus boy that it was because of his curiosity, then at least the bus boy knew that it was all Sehun’s doing. However, the more time passed…  The less courage he had left. In other words, Sehun had chosen to keep the truth hidden and to cope with the guilt inside of him.

Was it the right decision?

Something deep inside of Sehun told him that he was making the biggest mistake in his whole life, but Sehun’s conscious was using lots of energy to keep this thought pushed back deep inside the unconscious. Whether it was right or wrong really was not relevant anymore. Not when he had already created this web of lies, which he really could not bear to destroy. So… The only way to keep this all up was to keep up the lies. And just hope… He did not have to lie any more. He glanced inside the shop, where the bus boy was buying bubble tea.

Yeah, he just hoped he did not have to lie any more.

Moments later, Luhan stepped outside the shop, holding onto two plastic cups of bubble tea. He glanced at them both before handing Sehun the original bubble tea.

“Here you go. I forgot to ask which taste you preferred, so I stayed safe and chose the original flavor.”

He said while taking a sip from his own purple bubble tea, which Sehun recognized as taro flavor. Sehun took the bubble tea gratefully.

“It’s okay, thank you.”

“Which flavor do you like, actually? You seem the kind of person to suit the original flavor.” The bus boy said while pointing to the drink in Sehun’s hand.

Sehun shook his head. “Chocolate. I like the chocolate flavor one.”

“Eh?” Luhan blinked his eyes in surprise. “Really? I hadn’t expected such a sweet flavor.”

Sehun scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “Yeah, nobody really does.”

Luhan glanced at his face intently, causing Sehun to feel a little uncomfortable. Moments later, a smile made its way on Luhan’s lips.

“Now I look at you more closely, chocolate flavor does seem to fit you.” Luhan took a step backwards, his eyes scanning Sehun from head to toe. “Yes, very closely…”

“Uhm… Yes… If you say so…”

Sehun said as he turned away from Luhan’s examining stare. It made him feel uncomfortable and nervous, and he really did not like it. Not when it felt as if his secrets lied exposed in front of Luhan’s intense eyes.

“Hey,” Luhan suddenly said, catching his attention, “let’s go.”

“Where to?”  Sehun asked.

Luhan shrugged his shoulder. “Wherever the mind wants to go… Wherever it wants to go…” He looked up at the clear sky, before glancing at Sehun. “Do you feel comfortable lying on the grass with me?”

Well, Sehun thought, it's not like I've any other choice than to say yes. Whatever the bus boy wanted, Sehun was not going to say no. From the moment he decided to accompany the boy, he had already told himself to do whatever the boy wanted him to. It was part of repaying for his wrongdoings, after all. Now that he thought about it, he did seemed to have forgotten the fact that they really were mere strangers to one another. Normally, he would have been very, very uncomfortable being around a stranger like this. Bus boy was deemed an exception, he had now started to make himself believe. Or actually, he simply just knew more things that the bus boy, which had caused such a complicated situation.

“No problem.”

The bus boy nodded once before turning his back to Sehun, slowly walking while drinking his bubble tea. Unconsciously, Sehun took a sip of his own drink, momentarily surprised by its flavor. He was used to the chocolate flavor, so any other flavor would confuse him of what he was drinking at the moment. However, when he thought about it more carefully, he did not dislike the taste. Not at all. He glanced at the smaller boy in front of him.

No, not at all.

“Sehun-sshi.” Luhan suddenly spoke out his name.

“Y-Yes?” Sehun stuttered a little nervously.

“You’re,” The bus boy turned around, a sincere smile lingering on his lips, “a nice person.”

Almost instantly, his whole body got filled with painful guilt, lingering uncomfortably. He did not deserve the pure look the bus boy was giving him, or the compliment Sehun had no right to receive. It was times like these that urged him to spill out everything, but Sehun was really close to a coward actually. He really did not dare to speak out the truth, for the consequences where too frightening.

“D-Don’t say that… I-I’m… I’m not a nice person at all.” Sehun said while looking away.

“No, you really are. Sehun-sshi,” Luhan said, trying to search for Sehun’s eyes, which he found after a short while, “thank you.”

And all Sehun could possibly do was ignoring the unsettling feelings inside of him, the urging voices inside his head, and fake a smile. That really was all he could do at that moment.

-

It did not take long before the both of them were lying on the dry grass, their faces directed to the broad sky above them. Sehun had used the peaceful moment to calm himself down, to clear his tired mind. Neither of them spoke a word, but then again, it really did not felt necessary to any of them to make a sound, when quietness was what they both really needed.

However, it seemed Luhan was not the quiet type, and after a while, he broke the silence Sehun wished could have lasted longer.

“Sehun-sshi…”  Luhan spoke softly.

“Yes?”

“Do you think it’s worth the wait?”

Sehun knew what the bus boy wanted to ask. He of all people would know that the best. However, what answer did he have to give? Now that he thought about it, he himself did not even know whether the bus boy’s waiting was worth it or not. No, the more he thought about it, the more he began to hesitate. Most importantly, thought, was that nobody was in the position to say whether it was right or wrong, except the bus boy himself.

“I don’t know…” Sehun glanced at the bus boy. “I really wouldn’t know.”

Luhan glanced back at him while wearing a sad smile. “I don’t know either.”

Sehun broke the eye contact to close his eyes, thinking about something that came up in his mind. He had noticed that lying down felt oddly comfortable, both for his body and his mind. He did not know why, but he was not going to bother thinking about that right now. 

“Does he means a lot to you? The person you’re waiting for?”

Sehun slowly opened his eyes, and chuckled intently when he saw the other had closed his eyes. It made him look like a child, almost.

“Yes, he certainly is.”

“How much exactly, if I may ask?”

Sehun actually could not really imagine how much this person could possibly mean to the bus boy, for him to be waiting for him for months already. He could not even start to think about it.

“It’s hard to believe, I think, to say that he means the world to me.” Luhan chuckled. “Well, maybe I really am exaggerating right now, but I can confidently say that his existence was very important to me.”

“I see…”

Sehun could only nod his head. His whole life, he had never felt such a strong attachment to anyone. Even though his bond with Jongin was strong, it by far was not that deep that either of them could not live without the other. In all honesty, Sehun actually never believed in such strong feelings for another person. It sounded almost fantasy-like to him, and who was going to prove him wrong? People will continuously step into your life and walk out of it, and who exactly would stay with you for a long time was something so unpredictable, that one could even start to feel a kind of distance.

“It sounds weird, doesn’t it?” Luhan asked.

“Weird by far isn't the right word to describe it, I believe,” Sehun laughed softly, “but I’m surprised to know you’ve such a strong attachment to this person. It… It sounds almost unbelievable, if I’m to say the truth.”

“Sehun-sshi, you haven’t found such a person in your life yet, have you?” Luhan asked with warm eyes.

“What kind of person?” Sehun blinked his eyes in confusion.

“The one that will make you think that you can’t possibly live without them.”

Sehun blank expression amused Luhan, but he was not going to make fun of that right now. Instead, he heaved a sigh as he stared at the blanket of darkness above him again.

“It’s a fact that a person can live on its own, without anyone. You don’t need anyone to survive, to live. However, when you find this person that makes you believe that without him, you can’t live, then,” Luhan looked at Sehun with beautiful bright eyes, “that means you’ve grown to love that person.”

“Is that your definition of love?” Sehun grinned. “Because it sounds awfully simple, don’t you agree?”

“Who ever said that love had to be complicated? Isn’t it really actually the case that behind all those complicated things we see around love,” Luhan touched the grass softly with his fingertips, “it really all comes down on something as simple as that? Love, I believe, is as simple as that. Nothing more, and nothing less.”

“So, that means you loved Joonmyun?” Sehun asked.
  
“No.”

Luhan shook his head with a smile, his eyes fixated on the green beauty of nature he was lying on. Sehun eyes him surprised.

“Eh? But-”

“Not loved, certainly not loved,” Luhan smiled sincerely, “but love.”

Just how strong this feeling was that the bus boy had for Joonmyun was too overwhelming for Sehun to understand at the moment, but one thing was for sure: It was something to envy. Such a beautiful and strong feeling was bound to be envied. And Sehun was bound to be one of them.

“I hope you’ll be able to see him.” Sehun said sincerely.

“I hope so too.”

Sehun really hoped that the bus boy would be granted this chance, this opportunity to meet Joonmyun one last time. Luhan deserved it, he believed. He deserved to see him one last time.

“And when you see him, tell him I envy him.”

Luhan laughed out loud for the very first time in front of Sehun, and Sehun loved the sound. A lot. Maybe even too much, but he also wondered if he could ever love something too much.

“I will.”

And then they both laughed out loud, filling the place with the carefree sound they produced.


-

“You’re digging your own grave, Oh Sehun.”

That was the first thing Jongin said the next time he saw Sehun and the slightly younger male told him about the night he spent with bus boy. Sehun could only furrow his eyebrows slightly, before he shrugged his shoulders.

“I already have, so it doesn’t really matter anymore.”

“Alright, let me rephrase it,” Jongin moved his head dangerously close to Sehun’s, “you’re quickening the process of your death. There, satisfied?”

Jongin glared at him angrily before throwing himself on the couch again. Sehun could only sigh at his good friend’s behavior, though he knew that Jongin was telling him nothing but the truth. He needed to stop himself from getting deeper and deeper integrated in the bus boy’s life, or the consequences could be devastating. However, something was stopping Sehun from putting this logical thought into action. Something did not want him to stop seeing the bus boy, just yet.

“I’m going to be alright. He won’t know.”

“Oh don’t you bet on that, my dear friend. And if he ever finds out,” Jongin snickered mockingly, “don’t you dare to seek me for comfort. You won’t get any.”

Sehun glared at Jongin. “Thanks for being such a good friend.”

“Be glad I’m still sitting here and listening to you.”

Sehun ruffled his hair in frustration. How was he going to explain this all to Jongin? Well, the answer was simple: he was not. Reason? He did not even know why himself.

“Just… Just believe me when I say that I know what I’m doing.”

Jongin eyed him amused. “You’re kidding me, right? You’re obviously playing with fire at the moment. Do you like to get your hands burnt that eagerly? Because that’s what you’re going to get sooner or later.”

Sehun groaned frustrated. “Then you tell me what to do!”

“Well, haven’t I said already? Stop seeing the boy. If that means you can’t go to my house for the time being, then fine, let it be!” Jongin’s faze softened upon seeing Sehun’s troubled face. “Just… Don’t go see him anymore, Sehun.”

“But-” Sehun began, but Jongin cut him off.

“I know you feel sorry for what you’ve done to him, Sehun, but it really doesn’t mean that you should continue seeing him and all. You do know that it’s unhealthy for a person to wait so long for someone, right? Don’t start giving him hope that will only be his death in the end, Sehun. We both know he doesn’t need any more hopeless belief, not when he’s waiting for something, someone that died.”

Giving him hope that will be his death in the end?

“I can confidently say that his existence was very important to me.”

A small smile slowly crept on his lips as Sehun thought about it. For everyone else, it may seem like the bus boy was holding onto hopeless belief, hoping for something that may never come. However, Sehun should know better of his conversation with the bus boy that night. He should know better than anyone else…

That it was all worth it.

Amidst all the lies and guilt and everything else that had entangled his and the bus boy’s lives together, the bus boy had taught him a life lesson. A precious life lesson, if he was allowed to define it like that. He had seen and heard about it with his own eyes and ears. He had seen the perfect example of it in real life.

“It’s not hopeless belief, Jongin-ah,” Sehun laughed softly before he continued, “it’s love.”

Therefore, no matter how long Luhan had to wait, Sehun was confident he would wait until the end.