He’s always around Youngjae. Whatever he did or wherever he go, Youngjae always by his side. I admit, I am jealous over their friendship. At some moment, I don’t even know whether their relationship is just a friendship. I don’t know why but sometimes I feel left out. Yongguk hyung and Himchan hyung are close because they had trained together for quite some time and Yongguk hyung and maknae also close because they use to promote together. And now here I am. Looking at those two teasing and fooling around and doesn’t even care what happen around them. The more I look at them, the more my heart aching. It should be me who Daehyun hyung should be close with. We sleep next to each other at the bunk bed and yet we are not close with each other. I keep staring at them for more than 10 minutes when suddenly my thought was stopped by some hand on my shoulder.

“Jongupie, what are you looking at?” Himchan asked while plopping down on the sofa next to me.

“Erm..uh..nothing hyung. Just spacing out” I didn’t dare say a word about my stupid jealousy issue.

“You know, you are acting weird these days. You were spacing out a lot, smile less and you becoming quieter. You seem so distance from us these day. Jonhongie even complain that you no longer give him attention like you always do. What’s wrong? Do you have any problem? You know you can talk it with me if you want” Himchan said in a serious tone.

“Really? I did? Sorry hyung, I didn’t realize it. Don’t worry, I’m okay. Just a little tired with practicing maybe.” I hope Himchan hyung believe what I said.

“Mmm.. yeah. You practiced a lot. Even when everyone already left, you stay and practiced alone. Maybe you should give yourself some rest. Plus tomorrow will be weekend and we don’t have any schedule tomorrow. Why don’t you go out and get some fresh air.” There’s a concern in his voice.

“Okay, I will. Thanks for the suggestions, Hyung!” I flash my best smile to him so that he wouldn’t worry about me anymore.

Himchan hyung just patted my head and walk to the bedroom. Daehyung hyung and Youngjae hyung are still fooling around. I don’t know what exactly they are doing but it looks fun judging from both of their look. So I decide to approach them.

“Hyung, what are you guys doing?” I asked, trying to get their attention. But all I get was a silent treatment. They were too absorbed in what they are doing right now to even notice me. I sigh and walk slowly to the bedroom. Maybe I should play with Junhong. Giving him all the attention he want maybe can distracts me from thinking about this silly issue of mine.

In the room, Junhong was nowhere to be found. It’s weird because he usually will be in the room right now.

“Himchan hyung, are you asleep?” I asked while peeking up at his bed. He was reading some book with headphones on. I poke him and turn to me.

“What is it, Jongupie?” he asked. Attention still on the book he was reading.

“Do you see Junhong? He’s nowhere to be found.”

“Ah, he went out with Yongguk. He said he wanted to eat an ice-cream and begged Yongguk to buy him one.”

“ Ah, really? Mmm..thanks hyung. You can continue your reading” and I exit the room. I think going out tonight will be fun. It’s been awhile since I last enjoy the night view. I walk past the living room slowly. Making sure that both Daehyun hyung and Yungjae hyung wouldn’t notice me and went out from the dorm.

Outside the dorm.

 “Wow! It’s so refreshing! I can’t barely remember how it feels like going out at night.” I said to myself. I decided to go to the nearest park and hang out there. While I was walking to the park, I can feel like someone was following me. But whenever I turned around, there’s no one. Maybe it’s a stalker? Or a fan? A serial killer maybe? Or a ? The thoughts of it make me sick to the bone. So I walk quickly and pray that I can reach to the park safely. Once I reached the park, the feeling of being following around had gone. So I sit on the swing and play with it. I look around and I saw some people at the park too. So, I feel safe. I saw this kid trying to climb up the stairs of the slide but he missed one step and he fall. He was crying but no one care about him. “Where is his parents?” I thought to myself. The boy continues crying so I decide to go and check him.

“Hey little boy. Are you alright? Where is your parent?” I patted his head. He’s trying hard to stop crying. He looks at me with teary eyes and sobbing.

“I don’t have one” he said. I was shocked by the answers but I pretended that I’m not.

“Who do you live with? How did you get here? Who do you come here with?” okay, I think I asked too much. This kid is injured and here I am asking too many question not related to his conditions right now.

“I live with my grandpa and grandma. I come here with nuna. But she went to buy and ice cream so she ask me to play here alone first” sobs can’t no longer be heard.

“Ah, why don’t you play with hyung while waiting for your nuna? Hyung is alone too. Since playing alone is bored, let’s play together then!”

“Really? Hyung want to play with me? This will be my first time playing with someone. I usually play alone because no one wants to play with me. They said I’m weird and a loner.” What he said remind me of myself.

“Sure. Hyung would love to play with you. Come on.” I pulled him from the ground where he fell before and take him to the swings. We play around for almost an hour before his nuna came.

“Thanks for taking care of him while I’m gone. The nearest shop was closed and I need to find another shop to get him the ice-cream.” That boy nuna said to me.

“It’s ok. I have nothing to do and I’m all alone myself. So, it’s nothing. He fell down earlier and I think he injured his knee. Maybe you should take a look at it when you got home.” I said while pointing at his knee.

“Okay. I will. We should get going. It’s already late and I think our grandparents will be worried. Thanks again” we wave goodbye and I was alone again.

“Argh!! It’s so boring playing alone!” I growl in frustration and later I regret doing so because a couple of people walking by starting at me like I’m some kind of a freak. Maybe I should head back to the dorm too. I stand up from the swing lazily and head back.

Little that Jongup know, someone was watching him from far. Every single thing that Jongup did earlier, that person had seen it.