Revised....

EUN-AH POV (Mir)

I patted down the last bits of the dirt to cover my parents' coffins, which were a few feet under the ground. Sighing, I dusted off my hands and wrote in the dirt:

               "In loving memory of XXX and XXX... May the Rest in Peace"

"I can do it," I said, as if my parents could really hear me. "I'll take care of us. All of us. I won't let you down..." I placed a bundle of my mom's favorite flowers on the mound of dirt. The flowers were wilting, but that was all I had. "G-g- goodbye..."

Strangely I didn't feel the need to cry. My eyes were completely dry. Rather, my heart was weighed down with the dread of the responsibility I now had. Being the oldest, it was my job to care for my remaining little brother. I had no idea what I shoud do. No one in this town would hire me-- I had a notorious reputation here.

I could go back to-- 

NO. That was out of the question. I couldn't go back there. I hated that place.

But what else was there....

"NOONA!!! NOONA!" Cheolyong tackled me into a hug. "Noona, someone's here to see you-- it's that meanie-- Noona you won't leave, right? Noona" his chest heaved.

"Shhh.... Cheolyoung, calm down." I patted his back. "Who's here to see m--"

"Look! I'm here! Your world officially got better." Teddy. Oh. Cheolyoung was right. A meanie... Cheolyoung hid behind me and grabbed my hand.

"..." I couldn't think of anything nice to say, so I kept quiet. You had to be careful of what you said to Teddy. He could really make it come back to bite you...

"How's my favorite country family doing?" he said, spreading his arms out in a welcoming gesture. He stepped on the grave. Now it read 'Rest in *stomp!*. I hid a fist behind my back. I hate you I thought. 

"Hi" I said finally, somehow managing to keep my voice level.

"hmm... you're doing hi. how lovely. Now to business. Deadline's here. Where's the money?"

"What money?"

"Oh! 'what money?' she asks. Listen you idiot. The money you owe me. The debt that your foolish parents left for you to repay. Pay up."

"I... please.... I need some more time..."

"really? How much?" he said, casually taking out a gun. He toyed with the trigger. "Do you know how much I've been waiting?"

"I just... give me a few years..."

"WHAT?!" he slapped me with the of his gun. "I've had enough waiting. You're going to pay that debt, or..." Teddy looked around for ideas. "or... I'll kill- no, I'll torture everyone you know. Everyone you love. And they'll die in front of you, begging for your help..." he kicked me. "But you won't be able to do anything. You'll just watch... you're precious Cheolyoung burn up in flames, begging to be saved..." I gripped Cheolyoung's hand tightly.

I drew in a shaky breath. "Anything. Don't do that. I'll do anything, I'll pay it back somehow..."

"Anything? Really, huh?" It seemed Teddy had been waiting for this very moment. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me, literally, across the grass and rocks to his car. I barely had time to pry Cheolyoung off. He shoved me in the back seat and covered her nose and mouth with a towel soaked in chemicals. "Nighty night, farm girl."

"Run!" Icoughed and tried to hold my breath, praying that Cheolyoung would be smart and run away to his friend's house. He was nowhere in sight. I hoped that meant he was safe.

Teddy pushed me all the way in and shut the door. I reached for the handle--

Everything went black. 

Ok. There we go. first revision... please tell me what you think?