I can't count how long... but some time has passed
I wonder just how much I know about you? 
Following along the map with my finger isn't doing too much
I notice your uneasy face, though you are hiding it

As though resisting the face paced day that will be tomorrow
Even though I run about, it's strange... my heart sketches you

When I looked up, radiance filled the sky, without fading
If only we could have been like the sun, shining all the time
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/l/larcenciel/hitomi_no_juunin_in_your_eyes_english_version.html ]
I want to be held by your scent... for just a little longer
The air outside pulls at my collar, then I turned my back on it

My sighs, blurred white, tell me of the season
While repeating it all, suddenly I thought... why am I here? 

I want to be by your side forever, gazing at your smile
I want to live each changing moment in your eyes
In that one scene, forever colored in gentle hues
In order for us to be closed, I want time to stop forever

I want to be by your side forever, gazing at your smile
I want to live each changing moment in your eyes
If one day I can take you out to a brilliant season
To where the flowers are, blooming in the sky like snow... to where the flowers are

Hitomi No Jyuunin - L'arc~en~ciel

 

 

 

 

'Let me stay by your side..'

 

Under those fireworks pouring their elegance onto the younger boy's face, Minho realizes something that he has never thought this big before.

It's true that Taemin looks like holding back his feelings so bad, that it's even shown in his eyes. The sparkles that once lit up have gone dead.

Again, while Minho is asking himself about what Taemin feels towards him, he begins wondering again -

 

Why does he look so shining when i see him from close?

 

Again, Minho feels his adam apple bobbing up and down ever too slowly - he can't take his eyes off; he was too drowned to the point that he almost forgets how to blink and breathe.

 

What's this?

How can a boy be so beautiful like this?

 

When he is in the midst of processing the thought about the boy in front of him, a firefly perches on Taemin’s small head and it surprises the older man a little. “ Ah,” he opens his mouth, “ There’s a firefly..”

Taemin innocently blinks twice and glances up even though he fails to get the whole view what’s above his eyes. “ on my head?”

“ yeah,” Minho nods and juts out his arm. “ Let me..” when he tries to remove the insect from Taemin’s head, their eyes instantly meet again (this time is closer) and both of boys freeze at each gaze the another one sends. Minho stops breathing for a millisecond, he swears; but there, Taemin doesn’t look like he is ready to faint dead away because of nervousness. Instead, his eyes show that he’s confused enough that Minho is staring at him blankly. He doesn’t know that Minho is getting attached to that innocent, yet pure gaze; he just stands there, face inches away from Minho’s, and the older man’s chest heaves up and down, feeling so overwhelmed.

 

What?

 

“ Minho Hyung?”

That voice snaps back Minho’s voice and he mentally slaps his inner self as he detaches the firefly carefully. “ Sorry,” he mumbles but explains nothing. He thought earlier that he heard ‘Minho Hyung’ voice so softly, gently, beautifully-sounded in an unnatural clarity. He sets off his gaze to somewhere; at least not to Taemin. He needs to recollect his calmness quickly before he thinks weirder than this. ‘Beautiful’ is not a word to represent men.

Must be because of the ridiculous crowd that causes him suffering lack of oxygen and a bit dehydrated.

“ Uh, well,” Minho turns around, “ Let’s walk again.”

Taemin complies and they both walk side by side, sometimes they converse, and Minho realizes that he has never been at ease this comfortably before when he speaks to him.

Maybe it’s because he always avoided any talk other than simple chats because of this whole idea of engagement.

 

But he still thinks of me..

 

Minho glances at the boy beside him whom looks like a ball of sunshine, getting so hyper when he sees stuffs and prizes he likes.

 

When will there be the time..

 

I can find a right person for me, just like what he said?

 

If I let him stay by my side.. what will happen?

 

He thought that it’d be disgusting just from thinking about it, if it had been couple days ago.

 

Why is that?

 

Oddly enough, Minho starts to think that it won’t hurt him to be more open a little with this guy.

At least, to find out the answer, he thinks.

 

 

“ Kids, you’ll be having a project for our art class,” an eccentric art teacher announces right after he steps into the class. Soon, numerous sighs follow the announcement and he claps, stopping the complaint from whole students. He smiles – and when Changmin sungsaenim smiles, nothing will be good according to most of his students – then writes on the blackboard with a chalk eagerly. After a minute, they see a big title written ever too neatly, read as ‘taking pictures of beautiful objects in your life’. He turns his heels when whispers can be heard quite loud. “ I think the title has explained what you need to do, and,” – not even once when he emphasizes ‘and’ can mean a good thing either – “ in addition, you need to explain the meaning below each of the pictures, like, why you chose this as one of the twenty beautiful objects according your opinion. That’s why, you have to work with a partner that I have chosen.”

 

Then, a groan follows after.

 

Changmin claps again (always the method to shut his students’ mouth efficiently because all of them know how scary it’ll be if he gets angry). “ I’ll announce it now – Kai and Kyungsoo!”

 

Kai frowns. Not Taemin, sigh.

 

“ Tao and Kris,” and the tallest boy looks at the smiling partner meaningfully.

 

“ Minhyun and Ren, Krystal and Amber, Nana and Mir, Luhan and Sehun – goodness, why are you so ing happy –, Jia and Fei..” Changmin continuously read the groups until he stops at one group to take a breath, “ Minho and Taemin.”

 Both of boys are struck in surprise and they exchange glances with each other confusedly. Taemin whispers nervously, “ I guess we are partners..”

 

“ Seem so,” Minho mumbles back, not believing any fate (if it can be called that) that has pushed them this far. The whole students stare at the teacher until he finishes announcing the groups. He puts down the chalk onto his desk and snaps his fingers. “ Now, go to your partner and discuss the project”

 

Minho gets up quietly; still not recovering from the sudden confusion, and unknown to him he receives a glare from Kai when he approaches the younger boy who’s looking up at him now, grinning. “ What a coincidence,” Taemin whispers, which means since they are housemates now, it provides easier access for them to do the project. Minho nods a little, smiling faintly. Taemin, honestly, is surprised and blushes because it’s the first time Minho looks quite glad and smiles like that.

 

Perhaps it’s a good idea for them chosen as partners.

 

 

The school is finally over, and most of students are rushing themselves to put their stuffs into their bags then run off for short freedom they have for that day. Minho said they can find some inspirations for the project of which the due date is two weeks from now. Currently Minho is going to restroom for a moment and he told Taemin to wait him in the class whilst look after his bag.

Taemin’s mind is occupied with the sight of soccer team practicing seen through the window, and suddenly his body jerks up when someone taps his shoulder. He yelps and turns to see the person behind him. “ Kai!”

The said male smiles brightly. “ Zoning out?”

“ Not really,” Taemin pouts, “ I’m waiting for Minho Hyung. We’re going to stroll around and see if we can get some inspirations for the project..”

Hearing that name Kai frowns unhappily and shoots a cold glare. “ Right. Your partner is Minho.”

Taemin blinks, not grasping the mood Kai is suffering now. “ Um, yeah. It’s good because we live under the same rooftop so..”

“ That’s not exactly the point but – “ Kai stops to stare at the other boy. He tries to search any mixed emotions in those eyes, but he finds nothing. There are only gratefulness and readiness, which Kai doesn’t understand why. Kai clenches his fist tight, grits his teeth, and composes himself slowly again. “ Taemin, listen..” Yet when those doe eyes are looking back at him closely, Kai’s mind goes blank in flash. At instance, he knows that saying it now when Taemin himself feels okay for the time being – it’ll be like if he badmouths about Minho, in the end he will look like the bad boy here. He sighs deeply. “ No.. it’s nothing,” Kai stammers and looks away. Taemin finds there’s something not too well happening in Kai’s mind, so the pale beauty moves closer to get a better view of Kai’s facial expression.

 

“ Are you okay?”

 

Their faces are too close, and it doesn’t make any better when Taemin looks into his eyes straightly like that. Kai gulps – his throat feels dry and now the saliva seems to block halfway of it. His lips shakily try to part and he is about to answer nervously –

“ Taemin.”

Soon, the tension built up around Kai is shattered instantly when a deep voice calls the beautiful boy from other side in the class. Kai hisses as Taemin quickly spots the owner of the voice right away. Kai feels he can see something as if they’re sparking in Taemin’s orbs due to his feelings towards Minho.

Even though Taemin told him on the other day that he doesn’t know yet what he feels for Minho, but still having sharper instinct he is, Kai understands better.

 

That’s why I just dissed his presence from interrupting this moment.

 

“ Ah, now,” Kai speaks, “ I think I’ll call you tonight, Taemin. I want to ask you something too. Can I have your number?”

“ Sure,” Taemin nods, “ We can exchange.”

An obvious slight scowl is drawn over Minho’s face but Kai doesn’t really care and continues exchanging their numbers.

“ Let’s go,” without explaining any further, he commands Taemin after they finish and the other boy only complies by taking small steps. “ Kai,” Taemin’s gaze lays back at the boy across them, “ We’re going first. See you tomorrow!”

“ Yeah,” Kai nods and smiles tenderly, “ Be careful.”

Then when they are about to set off, Kai doesn’t fail to notice the deep glare coming from the tallest boy. Kai, feeling that he should not be intimidated, glares back until both of them are disappeared from his sight.

 

 

“ Let’s see..” Taemin frowns, “ Maybe this park can be one of our choices to take some pictures.. If we’re lucky enough, we’ll be able to get nice ones later.”

“ Yeah,” Minho nods, “ Tomorrow is Sunday, I think there’ll be a lot of people doing various activities here and we can find good stuffs.”

“ Also the street we were passing earlier,” Taemin mentions, “ I think it can be a good source too.”

“ Call. It’ll be nice,” Minho agrees and sits on a bench placed near them while Taemin looks around. “ I’m gonna get some drinks. Coffee, juice, tea, mineral water, which one do you prefer?"

“ Anything is fine.”

“ Alright.”

After Taemin leaves for the drinks, Minho notices that there’re some little boys playing ball with their feet randomly, so Minho is uncertain if it can be called soccer, but whatever, he thinks. They still look adorable and energetic, while in the other day Minho feels so god damn tired. Have I aged? Minho thinks foolishly.

Ten minutes later, Taemin is back with two cans of orange juice in his arm. He passes one to Minho and the latter replies with a thankful nod. They both drink the beverages in unison and watch the children kicking the ball excitedly.

“ It reminds me that you’re really good at sports, especially soccer, Hyung.”

“ Are you complimenting me?” Minho raises his brow, “ Not really.”

“ Which part says that you are not?” Taemin rolls his eyes and laughs. “ Aside soccer, you’re also really good at running and basketball.”

“ Whoa I barely know anything about you,” Minho glances, “ But you do.”

At those words, Taemin’s expression looks stern. He forces a smile but it turns a bit awkward (to Minho) and responds, “ Yeah. I do pay attention to you sometimes.”

“ Me?”

Taemin stutters voicelessly as if he is struggling to find right words and corrects his answer right away, “ ‘around me’.”

“ Oh.” But Minho knows that Taemin didn’t lie when he said he pays attention to him.

 

Normally, he’ll be disgusted.

 

“ Then tell me what you like,” Minho suggests, much to Taemin’s surprise.

“ Ah..” Taemin looks down at his shoes pointing at each other, “ Music, piano..”

“ You can play piano?”

“ Yeah,” A blush creeps in the chubby cheeks, “ Somewhat.”

“ I’d like to hear it,” Minho has no idea where he finds the guts to say that so he thinks it’s surprising too, after all.

Taemin stares down at him unbelievably – on the other day, it felt so difficult to reach this man because Taemin felt somewhat distant..

But now, talking about this kind of common topic with ease really surprises him.

 

This is bad..

It can make me raise my hope higher..

 

Taemin needs to say something.

 

Yeah, break this awkwardness.

 

“ I – “

 

And when the corner of his eye catches a flying object coming towards Minho, Taemin reflexively shifts and bends down, hands gripping the bench right beside Minho’s shoulders.

Just then, the ball that those kids have been playing with hits Taemin’s head violently.

Taemin winces in pain and groans, while Minho’s eyes become wider as he grasps the situation. Two seconds later, he quickly grabs Taemin’s small arm and tugs him forward. “ Oh God, Taemin? Are you all right?”

“ I’m fine,” Taemin smiles slightly but he is clearly holding the pain in his head. He wonders if it causes a bump, because the collision was really hard and painful that he almost could not take it. The little boys hurry up to approach him and apologize, about to cry. Taemin, still bearing the pain, squats down and soothes them with his soft smile, which is shown often in clarity that makes Minho stunned.

 

In any situation, he’ll never get angry.

He always smiles and accepts.

He never blames anyone.

He is just being the way he already is.

 

Is he happy being so kind, even if it’s too much?

 

That reminds Minho, about a part of his past which is the contrary of what he’s seeing now.

 

“ I’m looking for happiness.”

 

The soft voice resonates through Minho’s head, which he still remembers it clearly.

 

“ I wonder once I arrive later, can I find any place that will be able to give me a happiness, more than when I am with you?”

 

“ Minho Hyung?”

Taemin’s voice snaps back Minho from daze and the latter blinks once to register the fact that Taemin manages to calm the kids down. “ Oh, still feeling hurt?”

The pale beauty chuckles. “ Not really,” he replies, “ and kids, you better go home now. Your moms are probably looking for you.” And with Taemin’s simple conviction, all of them dash off and disperse towards different directions. Taemin’s falls down onto the bench beside Minho and he stares at the sky, groaning. “ Hell, it indeed feels hurt.”

Minho sighs and goes to a faucet then wets his handkerchief. He returns to Taemin and places the handkerchief on the small bump. “ It’ll heal tomorrow, not a big deal. Just.. be careful next time, ok?”

Taemin murmurs, “ I was too shocked so I didn’t have much time to think because you could be hurt..”

“ What..” Minho feels something is off, “ You were protecting me?”

Taemin looks away to avoid Minho’s eyes, and the older boy just stares at him unbelievably.

“ Why were you doing that?”

Even from Taemin’s side profile, Minho can tell that he pulls a slight smile and soft sigh escapes from the young boy’s lips.

“ I wonder about that too,” he answers, “ Because of my superb reflexes, I think.”

 

But maybe that smile means different thing from what he says.

 

Minho fingers curl up into a ball; his chest suddenly feels warm.

 

This guy.. the one who wishes for my happiness, and is willing to stay by my side until ‘that’ time..

Maybe he’s already a kind person.. just like that.. Even for a small matter like this..

 

“ Let me see your phone.”

“ For what?” Taemin asks but absentmindedly passes his phone and Minho quickly types something. “ I’m giving you my number and email.”

Taemin is too lost for words – his eyes turn wider and his jaws go half-apart. Minho returns back the phone but still with that flat facial expression. “ I’ve made your phone leave me a miscall and email so that means I also already have yours. We’ve been living together for more than a week so I think it’s important.”

Minho swears that Taemin flunks at hiding his beaming happiness. He smiles widely and grabs his phone tightly.

“ Thank you.”

 

Even because of small things too, he gets so carried away easily..

 

Minho can’t help but wonder, how Taemin defines happiness for himself.

Then, the next thing he realizes, he is already drowned into a deep thought, too occupied with staring at the boy in front of him, in unexplainable feelings.

 

And also.. that smile that can blind anyone who looks at it..

 

 

“ How were things going today with Minho? Did you guys find something?”

“ Yeah, Kai,” Taemin nods even though the other person on the call isn’t able to see him, “ I think we find some good places around. The only matters now are the cameras and the objects we’re going to take the pictures, but I don’t think it’s a problem.”

“ And why’s that?”

The slim figure dries his hair quickly with a towel because he just finished taking a shower and answers, “ I remember that Mr. Choi has two cameras, so we only need to deal with the objects because we decided to just go with the flow; we’ll take pictures if we find something beautiful according to our opinion.”

“ Okay..”Kai pauses, “ Is there anything else?”

Taemin halts his hands from drying his hair and his brain quickly recalls what happened this afternoon. He blushes and ducks his head into between his knees. “ Minho Hyung gave me his number and he got mine too.. He was the one who made the first action.”

There’s a short silence from Kai and Taemin confusedly calls his name, “ Kai?”

“ Oh sorry – it was nothing. Are you saying that after all of this time, you just exchanged your numbers?”

“ Yeah,” Taemin bits his lower lip, “ I think it’s a progress.. I won’t lie that I feel happy boundlessly myself..”

“ Seems that things have gotten pretty well recently between you two,” Taemin swears that Kai’s tone contains an unhappiness but he ignores it eventually, since he believes that Kai understands why; he can finally take a step forward from the awkward line between him and Minho (or so he thinks).

“ .. I don’t know yet, but he’s allowed my request to stay by his side.. at least for a time being.”

“ What?”

Taemin flutters his eyes close when he remembers what he said that time.

He thought that he was strong enough to bear the pain for enduring, and answering.

“ Taemin?”

But in the end, only one thing Taemin can answer him.

 

“ It’s nothing.”