My stomach is full. After two plates of loaded waffles and chocolate milk, Jonghyun pays for us and picks up his orange juice to take a sip. He looks at me, worry in his eyes.

"Do you think you'll be up for a few hours of dancing today?" he asks, reaching out to touch under my eyes. "The dark circles may say otherwise. Did you sleep at all yesterday?"

His questions hit me right in the stomach. The only thing i can think of saying is what he wants to hear, not what he's afraid of. I nod, trying to smile. 

"Yes, hyung. I can...dance today." I shrug. "No problem." I scratch my head and look down, hoping he won't ask about my lack of sleep again. I think i took a nap for an hour yesterday which should count a little. Biting my lip, i scratch my head again to fix my hair.

"Good. I need you to help me with a move in Ring Ding Dong. I keep falling over myself and i can't do that at the show Friday."

My stomach tightens as the memory of my mother calling me to tell me how much she loved our new song so much that she memorized it fills my mind. My heart swells, my hands becoming fists. She was laughing on that call, saying that she was so proud of me (like always) and that she couldn't wait to see me with that song. Ring Ding Dong. She loved the chorus the most because she said that she could picture me dancing to it. 

"Taemin?" Jonghyun touches my arm and i pull away.

"Yes, i will teach you it." I slip off the stool and head to the bathroom. When the door is closed, i turn on the water and groan, my insides falling apart all over each other. i hold my stomach, the need to throw up all of what i just ate causing my mind to spin. I move to the toilet and relieve one pain, my stomach empty. Kneeling, i hold my head, a few hot tears leaking off my face. 

"Taemin?" I hear Jonghyun say outside the door.

I get up, grasping at the wall for support as i sway. Flushing the toilet, i go to rinse out my mouth a few times, mumbling, "One sec," before spitting. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, i cough, drying my face with the sleeve of my jacket. Flipping my hair to the side, i sigh, leaving the bathroom.

"You okay?" he asks, resting a hand on my back.

"Yes. Why wouldn't i be?" I say, trying to smile again as we leave the diner. 

Jonghyun wraps an arm around my shoulders, guiding me down the street and back to our hotel to find the others already gone to the studio. He just looks at me with a sigh, asking the guard to get a car for us. He quickly does what Jonghyun says, taking out a cell to call someone. Jonghyun gives me some gum, smiling.

"You look kind of pink, are you feeling okay?"

I nod, pulling away from his hands as he tries to touch my face.

"Do you want me to get some aspirin or something? a water bottle from the bar?" His eyes grow worried.

"I'm just tired," i tell him, not lying at all. I am tired. Sitting down on the stairs bottom step, Jonghyun begins to pace back and forth in front of me. He runs a nervous hand through his hair and coughs then repeats that motion in another minute. My eyes try to close after watching him for about five minutes, sleep wanting to become one with me, but it doesn't. Our bodyguard calls us over to him, saying something about a car being here. Mentally, i groan, using the railing for support to get up. 

"Taemin! Keep up, we're late," he says, grabbing my wrist to pull me alongside him. My feet drag all the way to the car. I know that the studio is about thirty minutes away from our hotel, but there is not a single part of me that cares if we are late or not. We'll just be singing the same songs and doing the same dances as usual to perfect them. Where is the fun in that?

I rest my head against the window in the back seat, Jonghyun next to me with our bodyguards in the front. Closing my eyes, i wait for my head to stop spinning, the sick ailing feeling in my chest beginning to spread to my arms and legs. i think i can even feel it in my throat. Maybe i won't be able to sing today. Scratching at my left arm absently, I feel my heart beat in my chest slowly, it wanting to fail. How can i be this tired? All i want to do is pass out and stay that way for a couple of days.

Jonghyun wakes me up when we are there. I didn't even know that i fell asleep. I hat and sunglasses are forced onto me and i am helped out of the car and pulled to the doors, the sound of screaming entering my ears at full blast. My eyes start to burn with tears, the pain in my head too intense to handle. I feel the ground under me as i fall to my knees. People are talking to me. Hands are grabbing at me. Lifting me to my feet. The glasses are pulled off my face, Jonghyun standing there, eyes wide and on me. 

"Taemin? Taemin what happened?"

"Jonghyun! Taemin! There you two...What's wrong?" Onew comes up besides Jonghyun who is still holding me up by my shoulders.

"I don't know." Jonghyun shakes his head.

I see Minho and Key. Minho is saying something. Key is trying to get to me past all the people. With some kind of inner strength, i push Jonghyun away and smile. 

"I'm just tired. Let's just get through today." I force myself to stay on my feet, trying not to wobble or sway because that would just show them that i am not okay. 

Minho and Key stare at me as Onew nods, Jonghyun not believing a single word i say.

"Then let's get some water in you before we go over Lucifer. At the lunch break you will eat something then nap, okay?" I nod at Onew, following him to the elevator. The others at my back. Every step hurts. Every breath is life a knife to the chest. My eyes are blurry, my head spinning. The idea of dancing just kills me.

After chugging a bottle of water, I am shoved out onto the dance floor. 

"The manager says that you have to work on your turns. Just do a few and then you can sit down, okay Taemin?"

I nod at Onew, a few camera men turning on their cameras and focusing them on me. A makeup lady touches up my face with powder and runs a comb through my hair before backing off me, Jonghyun and Minho off to the side with their eyes on me. Unfortunately, i can not pull off one turn without falling, my head smacking against the floor, shocking my system. I hear shouting and screams as i go down but everything turns silent when my eyes black out.