You can't be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.

Natalie kept scribbling on the pages of her new diary. She had no idea why she bought one but something told her it was a good way to release her most kept emotions. All she could think of was what she just wrote on the first page of her white, hard bound notebook with no decorations on it rather than a picture of her and Camille Jennifer Matthews. "What could it mean?” She thought to herself. She laid her head down on the mattress as she gave out a sign of surrender. She did not know how diaries work. Hell. She did not even know how to make a good essay. As she watched the little pink and purple stars on her ceiling, she could not help but remember the first time she met Jake Harper. Her first impression of him was nothing she thought of him now. She thought he was arrogant like most men. If a man was gifted with physical features like that of Jake, he would most likely end up in the jerk zone. As she imagined the times they spent together, she could not help but smile. She did like this guy, and for some reason, even though she was hurt, this guy made her happy in her own imaginary way. As soon as she remembered the reason why she bought a plain diary, she gathered her ideas and started writing what she always felt.

Dear Diary,

    I know you’re just a book and you're not actually a real counselor, but they say you can help a lot. I really can't describe to you what I'm really feeling right now. I feel lonely, yet, I'm really not alone. I keep hoping that someday, things will turn around. Phew. I keep thinking of the day we first met. I remembered how I felt. I was like a little girl who just had a crush on her preschool teacher. It was a Monday morning. Camille and I decided to jog around the campus to take a quick look of what the university really looked like. We woke up at exactly 6 am. I decided to wear black shorts and a white shirt while Camille wore the same. We were new in town so we weren't sure what the weather was like during early fall. We were certain though that it was really hot during the summer. I thought we were the only ones who decided to jog around that morning since here at home; people would rather choose an afternoon jog because of the climate. As we stepped outside there were a whole lot of people; sophomores, juniors, seniors and even freshmen like us. We didn't mind the people; we just went our own way. After half an hour of encircling the campus, both Camille and I went to all the different buildings we've never seen since we just arrived a week before the school year started. We went to this Cyber Café where some of the students and the faculty were. We also went to this fitness center where student body builders usually resided. Of course we found our way to the big library, one we don't have back in our high school years. Our last stop was this big building located at the far southern side near a lake they call Emerald. We realized it was the university's swimming pool. We went inside to check how big it was and boy it was huge. There were a few men at the other end wearing their swimming attires. They were busy talking about something we couldn't hear. There were two men who were in the pool trying to finish a race on who was the fastest. The other guy won with just a few seconds away from his opponent. When they went towards the other guys I finally had a good look at the guy who just won. He was handsome, very handsome. Camille thought so too. We realized we were staring at the group for a long time that some of them looked at us. I signaled at Camille saying we should go, so we hurried our way towards the door. Before we could get out, one of the guys, Andrew, who was then a senior and is now working I guess, called out on us. A few of them went towards us and started saying how cute freshmen looked nowadays. He welcomed us in the most arrogant way. He said that they were the Wales, the best swimming team in the city. So yeah. We ended up being bullied by some of them; how we looked like 9th graders and how we had the same outfit. It was awful and boy I was so embarrassed. Now that I'm in my 3rd year did I realized that they always do that to freshmen… to fresh students who have no idea what the school was really like. So let's skip to the part where I met him. After that awful morning jog we had, I went to the library to get a book on microeconomics. Like the newbie I was, I was having difficulty finding the section on economics. Then suddenly out of the blue the handsome swimmer pops out and smiles. I remembered how I reacted. I told him if he was also going to welcome me to the big school with the most welcoming greeting. He just laughed. He asked me if I was a freshmen and I nodded. He said it was his second year and that he could help me look for the book I wanted since he worked part time job in the library. He was really nice that my very first impression of him, which was that he was a handsome jerk, faded. He told me his name was Jake and that I could approach him anytime as long as it did not have anything to do with money. I laughed. We also exchanged our numbers in case I was having a hard time around school. I was the happiest freshie in the whole wide world. Hahahahahaha. Anyway, we hung out a lot and I really really I mean literally REALLY liked him. But by the time we got close, I mean Jake, Camille and I, I found out that he had a girlfriend. Her name was Jessica. They were always together and Jessica was so nice to us too. We hung out during lunch breaks if it didn't meddle with our schedule, we went to different parties together and the sophomores were even very helpful with our studies. By the end of the school year Jessica migrated to Australia and we were really sad. Surprisingly Jake wasn't affected at all. He said he knew it all along and that they had talked about it before. We knew Jake really didn't make a big deal out of it since after Jessica left, he started dating different girls; Amanda, Charlotte, Maddy, Camille (not my best friend) and Fantasia, a transvestic; that was a one-time thing. He clearly explained to us that he was drunk at that time. At our second year, we started hanging out with Dug and Chris and some of the swim team and their girlfriends. We were a happy pack. We helped one another in campaigns and with school and we even party together. It wasn't a big deal for us anymore if one of our friends was the champion of the different swimming competitions or if we have a model in our pack. Haha. We were having fun and for the first time Camille and I weren't isolated from others. By mid-spring of our school year as sophomores, Jake met Rachel. Yes we were happy for him but for some reason, I wasn't feeling good about it. Rachel was really beautiful. She had the typical dyed blonde hair and black eyes and she was everything Jake dreamed of. He was obsessed. Jake always talked about her and how amazing she was. He seldom goes to our parties instead he goes to Rachel's parties. He was soon going out with Rachel's kind of friends: the more popular and more elite kind. He goes often to Rivoli, a very expensive club. Our group of friends was separated from each other. Dug and Chris, the jokers of the group and even Martin, Jake's model close friend decided to hang out with Jake's and Rachel's kind of friends. They said they needed to get laid that often and it was merrier with Rachel's group. We were affected at first but as the days went by, we just accepted the fact that some people change. We went our own way since we were too busy with our major subjects. Camille and I focused on our marketing subject and on the different "fashion stuff" we must learn. 

After all, taking up Fashion Merchandising and Retail Marketing is not a joke. After a month of having almost no communication with what we called our friends, Jake came back to me and asked me for some advice with regards to love. He said Rachel kept on texting other men and that he thinks she doesn't love him anymore. He cried to me for help saying that women were more of the heart breakers rather than men. I didn't know at that time that if you help someone save their relationship, you end up being attached. Every time he came to me and poured out his problems, I slowly wanted to care for him that it sickens me to see that Rachel was just using him. So basically I fell in love with a man who knows how to love a woman. Sad thing is, it's not me. So yeah. I'm here thinking of what I should do when I see him again. I've been in here for a month and I haven't seen him since he lives faraway from here. I've been writing for almost an hour now and it doesn't tire me at all. Hahahahaha. So this is what diaries do to emotional people like me! Hahahaha. Anyway, I was thinking. What should I do when I see him again? Will I be nice or be—

PEEP PEEP PEEP!

"NAT!!!"

—I think I should go, ‘still have a plane to catch!

Nat.

"HEY!!! We'll be late!!!" Camille called again. She was shouting from the front seat of her father's car.

"I'm coming!! What took you so long?!"

"Ask my dad!"

Natalie went flying down 12 flights of stairs with her big bag full of clothes.

"Mom! Dad! Neil! I'm going!" Natalie exclaimed as she was scanning her house for any sight of her family who showed no signs of missing her.

Mr. and Mrs. Wilson showed up at the living room while Neil Wilson tried to help by carry her luggage towards Mr. Matthews' car.

"I'll miss you honey. Make sure to write." Mrs. Wilson said. "Remember what I said about men young lady. I don't want you looking for those specific men who break pretty girls' hearts." Mr. Wilson added.

"Oh come'on mom, dad. It's not like I'm twelve. I'm already 21 years old. I can handle myself pretty well. Thanks for the concern anyway. I'll miss you mom, dad." She stared at her parents as her mom gave her a kiss. They said their last goodbyes and Natalie headed for the door. "I'll miss you both." She went to the back seat after hugging her younger brother. "I'll miss you Natty. Take care."

As soon as the car door was closed, Mr. Mathews headed for the road towards the airport. Five more hours to go and both girls will soon arrive at school. Their junior year was about to start here.