It's hard.. Not knowing anything, not knowing what to expect. It's just hard. It's hard being so far away from everyone for what felt like forever and then suddenly going back as if.. As if it never even happened.

Going back to see my sisters is only one part of the whole dilemma, but what am I supposed to say to John? I feel as if I've abandoned him without any answers, without a thought or a reason. I feel guilty. I feel like a bad friend. Am I a bad friend?

And if so, am I a bad friend because I fell in love with him when I wasn't supposed to? And that word--love. Love. It sounds so simple when it's said. We can all say it so easily, but to say it with feeling, it's so much more difficult than people in movies make it up to be.

Taeyeon Unnie dropped off a dress I could wear to our New Year's party. I left it in the bag she had it in all week. Now that the party day has come, I figured that I should look at it.

The sound of the zipper sliding down, it echoed throughout my empty apartment. I sighed. The smell of my Unnie's perfume flew at my face.

The second I opened the bag, my breath escaped my lungs.

"Oh, my.."

I reached my hand out. It touched silk. Blue silk, cut to be strapless, shaped to look as if it were modeling the body of a sapphire tulip. I looked to the bottom of the bag where my eyes met a pair of shining black Mary-Jane style heels, not too high, not too flat. How in the world did my sister afford this?

I reached into the blue fabric and pulled out the price tag only to find nothing there. Figures she took it out.

A little sticky note taped to the back of the bag explained everything.


Don't thank me. Thank Kangin Oppa! He paid for half of it ;) Love, MungTaeng


Loser.

How did she know my size.. Seohyun. Oh, this is what I get for shopping with her. Never! Never again!

"I can't just look at this and not try it on.." I pouted. "Well, the party doesn't start until three hours or so.. But. But I am a girl. Girls have the right to take three hours to get ready for a party, don't they?"

Oh, goodness. I'm talking to myself. I'm going insane.