The song is by SNSD. You can listen to the English Translation here.

I guess this is it. There really is no going back. Everything those teachers said, every word that came from my parents’ mouths, it is actually true. Once you make a mistake there are no do-overs. I suppose I had to first make a mistake to realize that not everything in life will go the way I want it. I was too spoiled, greedy for the things that weren’t mine. Never knowing when to give up.

Pathetic.

Every day, I have to wake up from my dreams, the dream where you’re still here. There’s a fleeting moment where I smile, thinking I can see your face. But it’s not to be. Because the Hand of God pushed down on me again, blaming me and condemning me to justice. I have to pay for my sins, so the guilt pours in. I wasn’t good enough.

It’s too much, and it’s suffocating. Oh God, it’s too much and I have to move and it’s pressing down and I can’t breathe and all I can think about is your face when I said those words, the horror and pity, all of that is for me, and what did I do? Oh God, please, it’s starting to hurt, please, stop, it’s painful, do I deserve this? Yes, I do, because I hurt an angel and God won’t let that just go by, I have to suffer and-

Stop. It’s enough.

It’s an endless cycle, and I can never break out. It will just hold me prisoner, chains and all, until… Until what? When you come back, I guess.

So, never, I guess. Doomed to this torturous day, repeated, until infinity.

I wish I could take it back. But even if you would agree to see me, I would have to deal with the other girl I would see at your arm, the pretty one. The one you seem to like better than me. Of course you’d like her better, she has not yet said those disgusting words that make me wonder, what was I thinking?

How could I have even let such thoughts enter my heart of hearts? To even entertain such vile notions would be to dance with the devil.

I danced. And it was too much, so I slipped, and look where I am now. Lost, dying, and desperate for a simple way to turn back time.

A time machine maybe? I would give up my soul, my flesh, my mind for that, if I could just make it so that it never happened. I went too far.

Oh, to have just one wish. I could wait forever. After all, there’s not much but you that I can look forward to on my loop of despair.

Now I’m sounding whiney. You and I both agreed that whiney, angsty girls were the one thing that we couldn’t stand. And look what I’ve become. Something that you can’t stand. But I was always that, even from the beginning. It’s just that both of us chose to look away and pretended that it wasn’t staring at us in the face, waiting for a response. We were too ignorant, and in my ignorance, I hurt you.

I’m so sorry.

But no matter what I do, the pain won’t go away. I’ve tried washing, I scrubbed until I was red and raw, but even that won’t make it go away. I’ve decided that I’ll have to fly. Because I have to talk with God face to face if I want this pain to stop. So here I am now, at the top of the tower you and I used to go to. I’m at the edge, and people are calling for help, but it will be too late. I’ll make the final step.

I love you Baekhyun.