Jiyong P.O.V

"This can't be." I said to my self. "This can't be real, right?" Taeyang looked over to me, giving me a concerned look. 

"Yah, how long will you be in denial?" he asked. I simply ignored his comment, and asked again, "she's had it for over a month now?!" this was about my 10th time asking that question. He got up from his seat and sighed as he took out his phone.

"Yah, what're you doing?" I asked.. But he ignored. He gave me a slight glance and put his phone to his ear. 

After a few seconds, he spoke, "Oh, Dara. It's me." he said over the phone. Shocked, I stood up from my seat and went up to him quickly. "Yah!" I said in a harsh whisper. "What the heck are you doing?!" He held his palm in front of my face, and held the phone is front of us. 

"Oh, sunbae. Hi." Dara said weakly over the loudspeaker. I looked at Taeyang unbelievably. He gave me a look, and made a sign with his finger to be quiet. We both looked at the phone.

"How are you holding up?" he asked softly. She coughed a bit before answering.

"Not so good. Oh, I have an appointment tomorrow, are you coming?" she said in a low voice. Taeyang looked over at me, "Yes. Can I bring the rest along too?" he asked.

"Sure, I'll need it." she said. 

"Hey, can I ask you something?" he asked her. 

"Mmm..." she barely replied.

" *sigh* I still don't understand, why couldn't you just tell Jiyong?" he said hesitantly.

"Why are you asking this."  she asked.

"I can't hide this secret properly from him when I don't even understand Sandara..." he said convincingly. She was quiet for a while. 

"Fine... I didn't want him to know because...... Because. Well because he'll be hurt." she said weakly. "Think about it, if he knows about this sickness, how do you think he'll take it?" she asked.

"Not well..." he replied plainly. "But he'll be with you to help you, and to ease your pain-"

"But how will he move on if I go?" she asked bravely.

Go? By go, does she mean, die? No, I won't allow it. She can't, she can't die.

"I don't want him to be hurt, or be unhappy, or worried....." she was silent for a while. "All I want, is for him to move on if I'm gone. For him to find someone else if I do go, and for him to be happy. That's all. The things that I hide from him, is for his own good. I just wish, he'll be able to accept that.."

I was already teary eyed by now. A teara drop fell on the screen of his phone. Realizing that I was about to break, Taeyang quickly closed the conversation, and hung up. 

"You okay Kwon?" he asked. I nodded my head hiding my teary eyes. He pat my back, "I'll tell you about tomorrows check up, go home now. You need to rest."

---------------------------------------------------At his house------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Stupid." I said to the bear Dara gave me. "Stupid stupid stupid stupid." I flicked it even more times. "Why couldn't you gave noticed sooner?! Aishhh.. Stupid Jiyong. It's all your fault." I said hitting the stupid bear dressed like me. I looked at my phone's wallpaper. "Dara.. Sorry. I should have noticed sooner." I said to Dara's face on my wallpaper. "You should have told me too. Why did you have to carry this burden all by yourself? Was Taeyang with you through this?" I asked meaninglessly. I sighed as I stared at her beautiful picture on my phone. Her skin was glowing, her hair was full and smelled like apples and vanilla.  She was healthy. But now, it's gone, but I still love her.

"That's right, I love you you hear?" I said to my wallpaper. "And since I love you, I'll listen. Im not sure if I can accept, but I'll pretend for you. I'll do this for you Dara."

Dara P.O.V

"Dara! are you ready?!" Seunghyun called from the door.

"Almost!" I yelled back. I stared blankly at myself in the mirror. I noticed my skinny bones, and the paleness of my skin. I ran my fingers through my hair, hoping nothing will fall out, but I was wrong. A clot of hair came along with my hand as I brushed it down. I threw the hair away. I quickly tied my hair. I looked for something to cover my head, and on the bed, was the red beanie Jiyong gave me. I acknowledged the red heart with wings stitched on it. It took it, and put it on my head, covering my falling hair. 

"I'm ready." I said when I walked outside. "Alright, lets go!" Daesung said heading towards the car. "Noona! Let me help you." Seungri said offering my his arm as I walked down the stairs. "Thanks Seungri."

-------------------------------------------------At the hospital-------------------------------------------------------------

"Sandara Park?" the nurse called from the office. Immediately, all of us stood up. "Yes." I said weakly. We followed her in the doctors office, and sat down before him.

"Hello Ms. Park. How are you?" Dr. Jin said calmly.

"Fine." I said. 

"Well there's good news and bad news." he said. "Do you want the good news first or the bad news?" he said seriously.

"You pick." I said simply. I felt Taeyangs hand on my shoulder, preparing me for whatever came out of the doctors mouth.

"Here's the bad news. According to all the urine tests, and blood tests, you have kidney failure." he said hesitantly. I stared for a moment.

"Kidney failure? What- what do you mean doctor?" Seunghyun asked. He looked at Seunghyun, then at me.

"Both your kidneys are failing, Ms. Park. Reasons are unknown at this point." I stared at him in unbelief. He awkwardly continued.

"But the good news is, it is very possible for a transplant. The only problem is, there arent enough kidney donors or blood donors that have the same blood type as you. Your blood type is O-, which is preferably rare." he said.

"If we do find one thats suitable, how long would it be until the operation?" Taeyang asked.

"Well, the sooner the better." he simply said. "In relation to this, you're doing considerably well. The cancer cells in your blood have been highly decreased. I'm still dumbfounded of how this happened." he said in astonishment. "I'll give your next perscription of medicine today. I suggest, you consider the situation you're in now. You know you only have approximately 2 more months left right?" he said.

"Yes." I said blankly.

"What?! Noona! You only have that much left?!" Seungri asked worriedly.

"Excuse me! If she does get the transplant, will she have a better chance?" Daesung interrupted.

"She will have a better chance. In her special case, it would be a bit easier to cure her cancer."

"Oh noona! We would donate but we're not O negative!" Daesung said apologetically.

"It's alright... Thank you." I said to my doctor. "Let's go guys." I said to them.

---------------------------------------------At Her House------------------------------------------------------

"Jiyong ah! Don't make me fall!" I heard myself on the video camera. "Yah, I won't let you fall." Jiyong said. I was re watching videos of Jiyong and I before I broke up with him. "Yah! You almost made me fall!" "I didn't!" we argued. I fast forwarded to the next video we recorded. The scene was taken place in my living room. We were sitting on the couch, and I was recording him.

"Kwon Jiyong!" I said giggling. He laughed. "Yes?" he said. "Lets ask some questions shall we?" I said in the video."

"Question one!" I yelled. "What is your favorite ice cream?" he smiled hiding his eyes. "Ummmm!! Its Strawberry!" he said happily. We laughed at our childness.

"Question two!" I said. "Whats your favorite color?" I asked. he laughed again. "Yah, you know this one!" he argued playfully. "Nooo." I said teasingly. "It's green!" he said sarcastically. We laughed even more.

"Okay! Final question!" I finally said. "If there were anything in the world that you would want, what would it be?" His open wide smile turned into a shy closed smile.

"Yah, answer my question." I said nudging him. He glanced at the camera, and smiled. "You really want to know?" he asked.

"Yeeeeees!" I said whining. He smiled more, and looked in the camera, and it was as if we were staring at me, right now. "If there were something in the world that I would want to have forever... It would be..." He swirled his fingers in the air, and then pointed it at me. "Sandara Park." He said with a shy smile on his face. His eyes were looking straight in the camera. His eyes were looking into mine right now. "I don't want anybody else but Sandara Park! My girlfriend whom I love... Very much. No one else." I felt my tears starting up again. Eventually, tears started flowing down my cheeks as I watched the video. 

"Jiyong ah..." I said softly in the video. He reached for my hand, and kissed it. By now, he wasn't looking at the camera, but in my eyes in the video. He grabbed the camera and held it so that both of us were in view of the camera. He lightly kissed me on the lips, and slowly pulled back. "My only wish is for you to stay by my side, and never stop loving me... In this world, I only want you." he said.

"I love you Jiyong." I said to myself now. Choking through my tears, I repeated this.

Dear Diary,                               March 7,2011

I can do this. I'll keep Jiyong's wish. I can do this. I'll fight. I will...