It's just a crush. It will go away.
Ryeowook tucks his knees under his chin, hugging his legs close to his body, and presses his back against the corner where two walls meet. He stares into the room, blanketed in a darkness so deep that he feels he's falling through the sky.
It's just a crush. It will go away.
That's what his mother had said, and what he now tries to tell himself.
When he had told his mother about Kyuhyun almost 3 months ago, you should have seen the look on her face.
Horror.
Disgust.
As if he were something putrid.
Her own son.
It's just a crush. It will go away.
The only advice she had to offer. It's never sweet words of encouragement for the high schooler.
She should just be honest.
Ryeowook was a mistake.

Morning rises and another day of summer dampens the deep purple curtains with goldest light. But Ryeowook doesn't care for this season. He doesn't care for the intense heat or the people in shorts and swim suits.
A fist raps against the door, and he comes to his senses. He hasn't slept since... well, he can't even remember when... and his reactions and emotions have become dulled.
His lifeless eyes raise to stare at the door, but he makes no move to answer it.
"Ryeowook-ah. Ryeowook-ah! Your friends are here! They said that they haven't seen you since summer break started and they're worried about you. Get dressed, lazy boy, and come downstairs. I think going outside would be good for you." His mother's voice penetrates the warmth in the room and chills him to the bone. It's not what she said, oh no. It's how she said it. Her tone dripped with poison, as it has from the moment she learned her son may be gay.
It's just a crush. It will go away.
Slowly, he stands up, the clock proudly displaying the time (12:45) and letting him know that another 6 hours has passed since he last was aware of the world around him.
Quickly, he throws on clean (are they really clean? He can't remember) clothes and uses the make up he'd secretly bought to cover the heavy bags under his eyes. To even out the splotchy tone of his skin. To make himself look more alive.
But concealer can't hide the deadened eyes that reflect painfully in the mirror.
"Wookie~!" That voice, sweet and flowery, flows around the door frame and into Ryeowook's ears. For a moment, it's like caffeine to him. It makes him feel awake. It makes him feel real. "Wookie~ Can we come in~?"
Ryeowook nods his response before realizing that he can't be seen, forcing him to use his abused voice to reply with a simple, "Yes".
"Ryeowookie~" The blonde rushes to his smaller friend and pulls him into a tight embrace. Sungmin had always been like an older brother to the younger boy, and he feels safe, sheltered, in this position. He rests his fo