A woman pulled the car by the pavement and got out, a bouquet of white daisies in one hand, a plastic box in another. There was a snow rain last night, and now the ground was covered in white like a blanket. A breeze slightly blowing her hair as she walked along the rows, her eyes roaming around until she found the one she came here for. 

- Hi dear. It's your mama Byulyi. Do you miss me? - Byulyi grinned when she squatted down to the stone's level. - I bet you don't. I think I've come here even more than the amount of HR applications I read in the past month.

She wiped away some snow on the stone to have a better look at the text engraved. The lawyer opened her box and took out a familiar whiteish grey brush and a bottle of headstone cleaner. Skillfully, as if having done this so many times, Byulyi started cleaning diligently to make sure every centimeters of her daughter's resting place was as dirt-free as possible. She also took time washing the small vase on the surrounding marble ground before carefully placing the flowers in.

- Aren't these pretty? - Byulyi kept on talking despite knowing no one would hear her. - It's both my and your mommy's second favorite flowers. I especially bought them for your birthday today. They are so bright and small... they remind me of you...

Her actions slowed down to a halt. She sighed.

- I can't deny that I miss you every moment, my angel. Today is your first birthday. I could have bought you a ton of clothes and toys you might like; we could have been on a trip together and enjoyed a fun picnic like any other families...

Maybe she should stop with these "could have"; she was perfectly aware that the more she said it, the more they would break her. She carried on with her life, yes, but it didn't mean she stopped wishing things could have been other, better ways. 

It still provoked a painful flame inside her everytime she came here.

- I really don't want to roll over here crying nonstop in front of a lifeless stone. - Byulyi sadly chuckled, tears already trickling down her cheeks. - But- my god, I don't even know how I managed to bring myself here. It's been only a year, Seondal, but the memories are still fresh like yesterday. You in my hands, me clutching to your stone sobbing as if you were my lifeline. Scratch that, you had actually been my lifeline then. 

Byulyi curled up as she tried to clean her face with her sweater sleeves. - At one moment, you're my greatest source of happiness, and next thing I knew, you were no longer there. I was so confused and lost, I almost fell back to a horrifying dark trance that I knew all too well, something that might have trapped me forever and drowned me in an endless ocean of guilt and sorrow. 

She smiled a little. - But your mommy stayed by my side, despite herself hurting almost as much as I were. She's still there, of course, I'm just telling you the story. Anyways, she's the kindest, warmest, most loving human being that ever existed on earth, and sometimes I feel that she's a blessing I don't deserve to have in my life. When