The door was not opened for a long time. I was about to leave when I heard the click of the lock. Door opened. The disheveled landlady stared at me in surprise.

- Siyeon? What are you doing here?

- Handong, you're so hospitable," I snorted skeptically. - Do you want to invite your friend and her dog to your place?

- Are you with the dog? - Handong took off her glasses and put them on her nose, looking down. - God. 

- And what happened to you? - asked Handong and put a cup of aromatic coffee in front of me.

- Why should something happen for me to come to visit you? I missed you, maybe, ”I chuckled, Wolfy, sitting at her feet.

- Siyeon, - Handong stretched out warningly and flashed her eyes.

- Where's Wheein? - I decided to move the topic.

- She is sleeping. She worked until seven in the morning. Inspiration, ”Handong waved vaguely. - So what? Spread it out. What have you done?

- Why did I do it right away? - I pouted, taking a sip of the scalding hot drink.

- It’s written on your face that your guilt will soon kill you,” Handong replied calmly.

- No, no ... It's just ... Damn, Handong, I'm such a ," I groaned and buried my forehead on the table.

- Mmm… I wouldn't say that,” Handong held out and pushed a plate of bread and another one with sausage and cheese slices. - Come on.

- Trust me,” I replied with feeling, grabbing a sandwich.

- More details?

- Well, I don’t even know where to start,” I said with a full mouth, then chewed and swallowed. - In short, yesterday I got drunk, kissed Bora, brought her friend Yoohyeon to my apartment and slept with her. And, also, while I had with her for half the night, I imagined that it was Bora. Well? Am I not an ?

Handong sat with wide eyes, holding a cup of coffee in the air. Then she blinked, took a sip, put down the cup and looked at me again.

- Did you kiss Bora? She asked.

- Yeah.

- And then spent the night with her friend, pretending that it was her? - asked Handong.

- Yeah,” I nodded again.

- Okay, - Handong seemed to be calculating something in her head, after which she spoke again. - And in the morning?

- What in the morning? - I did not understand.

- Well, what did you do in the morning? When you woke up with this ... how was her ... Yoohye?

- Yoohyeon, - I corrected her.

- Yoohyeon

- Well ... I woke up, I was ashamed ... So I left, - I lowered my eyes.

- You… what? - Handong blinked, not believing her ears.

- Gone.

- You left your own apartment ?!

- I was ashamed! - I "beat off". - How am I going to look into her eyes? And not only her. Everyone. She, Bora, Minji.

- And what about Minji? 

- Nothing. She doesn't know yet, ”I sighed.

- Yet?

I had to tell Handong the whole story, almost from the water park. When I finished, Wheein had already joined us.

- Siyeon, this is very romantic,” Wheein said smiling.

- Wheein, dear, you definitely heard everything correctly in this story? - Handong raised an eyebrow skeptically.

- No, of course, I understand that Bora is your friend's beloved, but ... What you feel for her is very romantic.

- What I feel about her . And I don't know what to do now, ”I said, lowering my head to my folded hands.

- Stay away from them, I suppose,” Handong snapped.

- You have to tell her how you feel,” Wheein disagreed with her.

- Wheein, darling, I don't think so

- I agree,” I nodded.

- You are not right. You don't know how Bora feels. Apparently, she also has some kind of interest in you. Otherwise it would be meaningless. In addition, she answered your kiss, - Wheein continued to stand her ground.

- It's not accurate. I was drunk, so I can't say for sure, ”I winced.

- What you should definitely do is to explain to Yoohyeon why you disappeared from your own house,” Handong said sternly, and then I was forced to agree with her. - And, in general, take a closer look at her. She seems to really care about you. And Bora ... This is all, of course, wonderful, but, obviously, she is not one of those girls who build intrigues behind her friend's back.

- I already know that,” I sighed. - Maybe blame everything on alcohol? Or even pretend that I don't remember anything? It happens. 

Maybe Bora told Minji everything, and she just kicks my off and it all ends.

- Keep me updated. And… if anything happens, we are close, ”Handong smiled warmly as she escorted me into the hallway.

- Thank you, Handong, - I smiled back and, taking Wolfy, went to my apartment.

It was disgusting. As I drove home, it seemed like a snail's speed - other people honked me several times - I realized that I was really in a complete . And on several points. First, I kissed Bora. Yes, I was drunk, yes, I didn't quite get it, but damn it, this is Minji's girlfriend. The girl with whom we had a wonderful friendship, which I ruined so stupidly. In short, I was in a complete . Yes, I have extenuating circumstances, but they will not save me from the sentence. And I was sure that a prosecutor named "life" would punish me to the fullest extent of the law. Because everything secret always becomes apparent.

Secondly, I used Yoohyeon in an absolutely mean way, knowing that she truly liked me. On the one hand, I am not responsible for her feelings for me, and I did not promise her anything. On the other hand, the fact that I, having with her, represented a different girl altogether, does not make me better. No, of course, I won't tell her about it. Of course, I'm a little foolish, but not that much. This information is only for my personal solemn self-flagellation.

Thirdly, Minji. My beloved and practically only friend. And I let her down so. She does not even suspect which snake she has warmed on her chest. Of course, it never happened before, but ... I screwed up. I really screwed up and this time very badly. And how to look into her eyes now - I could not even imagine.

I have always appreciated honesty, sincerity, nobility in people. And she herself became the embodiment of vice. Betrayal. Lying. Self-indulgence. I tried to convince myself as best I could that I was making an elephant out of a fly, that nothing particularly terrible or tragic had happened - just a tiny kiss. Besides, I didn't even knit a bast yesterday. But she couldn't. I understood that I did it deliberately. Yes, under the influence of alcohol, but deliberately. I deliberately kissed Bora. I deliberately kissed Yoohyeon midnight, pretending that it was Bora. I am nothing. And I ran away from my own apartment, only so as not to look her in the eyes, not to explain myself and not to be responsible for what happened. At least for a while. But one thing I understood from all this - I did not regret what I did. I tried to regret it. I tried. Yes, I was ashamed, I felt guilty infronte of Minji, Bora and Yoohyeon, but ... I did not regret it. I did what I dreamed of for months. What I wanted more than anything else. What I could get by risking everything was like putting everything on zero. I kissed the girl I loved. And how to get out of this whole situation now - I had no idea. What to do? To whom and how to explain everything? And whether to explain? There were thousands of thoughts in my head, but none led to any logical and, more importantly, optimistic answer. Whatever one may say, something will have to be sacrificed in the end. It's time to prioritize. It's time to take responsibility for your actions and your feelings.

Being almost in the next yard by my house, I sharply applied the brakes and turned the steering wheel, turning one hundred and eighty degrees. Wolfy barked in surprise as she looked at me.

- Sorry, dear, but I have an important business.

Turning the car in the opposite direction, I drove to Bora's house. It suddenly became crystal clear to me that I had to explain everything to her. Maybe even tell her about my feelings. So I should talk to Bora and then disappear. Time will pass and I will calm down. My forbidden feelings will pass. What is it that I have never experienced anything even remotely similar to what I am experiencing now? Does this justify me? Not a bit. Therefore, all I can do in order not to aggravate the situation further is to simply disappear, shoving my feelings deeper and deeper.

Leaving Wolfy in the car with the window ajar, I went to the entrance. I didn't want to ring the intercom - I was not sure that Bora would let me in after everything that happened. So I stayed at the door, hoping that I would not freeze to the driveway.

Fortunately for me, a few minutes later a man came out of the entrance. 

When I was at the door to Bora's apartment, it dawned on me - what if she was with Minji? How will it look like? Today is a day off, she could well have done that. And what do I tell them? That I came to visit without warning? 

Breathing in and out, I pressed the bell. 

I had to wait a minute before I heard footsteps in the hallway. And this minute seemed like an eternity to me. Dozens of thoughts flew at that moment in my head, but my mind never managed to catch hold of any of them.

- Siyeon? - even if Bora tried to hide her surprise, it is unlikely that she would have succeeded. But she didn't even try. And as luck would have it, all the words flew out of my head. I looked at her and wondered how you can be so beautiful. - Siyeon? Are you okay? - The girl turned to me again, and I finally woke up. But she never found a voice. So I just nodded and waved her hand, asking permission to enter. Bora stepped away from the door, inviting me inside.

I wanted to explain something to her. Tell the truth or blame it on alcohol? I can't tell the truth. So alcohol. Fine. Inhale, exhale, let's go.

I opened my mouth ... but didn't make a sound. The words lumped in my throat. 

Throwing aside my stupid thoughts, I shook my head and tried again. I stood like a fish, now opening and then closing my mouth, and Bora patiently waited and, folding her arms over her chest, looked at me, slightly arching her left eyebrow.

- I can't,” I finally exhaled, tired of struggling with myself, and looked at the floor. Bora had funny elephant socks.

- You can't what? she asked quietly, clearly puzzled by my strange behavior.

- I came here to apologize, to say that I am sorry that I pounced on you yesterday, that I was drunk ... More precisely, very drunk, that I did not understand anything, that I behaved like a pig, and that I - I am very ashamed, - I quickly blurted out and looked at her.

- And… what can't you? - Bora still did not understand me.

I sighed. My head was slightly dizzy. Either from a hangover, or from the fact that now there was as much adrenaline in my blood as alcohol yesterday.

- I can't say all this, because it’s not so,” I grinned sadly, looking at the light smooth wall. - More precisely, I'm, of course, ashamed, but ... I'm not sorry. And of course I was drunk, but I knew what I was doing. I ... - I chewed my lip, still feeling Bora's gaze on me. - I love you, Bora. And this is the biggest mistake I've made in my life. Because Minji is my best friend. And you are with her. And here I am. With my kisses and my feelings. And I'm sorry that I'm dumping all this on you, it's just ... It's not your fault. I know you wouldn’t have said anything to Minji and, probably, you wouldn’t have even shown it, but ... I cannot do that, Bora. Every time I'm next to you, it tears me to pieces. And I would give everything I have to either get rid of these feelings, or so that in some miraculous way you look at me as more than just a friend. But there is also Minji. And I can't do that to her. You are together, you are a couple, and, honestly, you have a positive effect on Minji, she can now be tolerated without sedatives, - I chuckled. “But I don’t want to be“ another woman ”, a homeowner or just a , weaving intrigue behind my best friend's back. She's a pain in the , of course, but she doesn't deserve that. And in general, it is not clear why I am telling you all this, because you are already with Minji. You love her there and all that. And I ... I have to go. Forgive me for yesterday and don't be angry, okay? I just didn't think a little. I drank too much. In general, I'm sorry, - I hastily turned around and began to open the door.

- Do you want to ask my opinion? - I heard a question in the back.

- Your opinion? What will it change? - I smiled sadly, turning my head. - You are with Minji. I am the third extra. - turning around, I went out into the staircase and went to the stairs, bypassing the elevator. Bora didn’t call me, didn’t say anything after, but I didn’t hear how the door was closing either.

***

I couldn't go home right away. Wolfy and I went to the park, where she walked for almost two hours, running after squirrels, and I froze on a bench, trying to figure out how to live on.

It was getting dark when the dog and I went up to the apartment, both hungry and tired. Personally, I was exhausted not only physically but also emotionally. I mourned my feelings, at the same time trying to figure out what to tell Yoohyeon so that the girl would understand that nothing could happen between us, but she would not hate me at the same time. Although ... Let her hate. I messed up so much in the evening that one more dissatisfied, one less - what's the difference.

I opened the door and the smell of burning hit my nose. The first thought was that Yoohyeon was angry that I ran away, and decided to burn down my apartment in revenge. While I was thinking about where my phone was to call the firefighters, my unexpected guest came out of the kitchen into the hallway. My jaw almost fell to the floor.

- Minji ?! - I almost could not believe my eyes. Even for a second I thought that from all these inner experiences I was completely derailed.

- Where were you? I called you, - Minji muttered angrily, standing in my T-shirt and my shorts, with her hands on her hips.

- I… Damn,” I took my phone out of my pocket. Soundless. Well, of course. Several missed from Minji, from Yoohyeon ... Many missed from Yoohyeon. From Handong and a couple of messages about some promotions and promotional codes. - The sound was turned off.

- Everything is as usual with you. Come on, I want to eat, - with these words she went back to the kitchen.

- You were evicted from the house? - I asked, carefully sniffing at the overcooked (completely burnt) chicken with vegetables.

- What? Why? - Minji frowned, also sitting down at the table.

- Well ... you cook ... in my kitchen. Something happened? - I nibbled off a less black piece of meat and sent it into my mouth.

- No, it's just ... Damn, too much has happened to discuss this, - Minji reached into the refrigerator and took out a martini. Apparently, she pinned it with her. - You'd better tell me why, when I came to you, you yourself were not at home, but yesterday's birthday girl was lying in your bed? - Minji winked slyly, pouring martini into glasses, which she also took out of the cabinet.

- Oh, - I winced. - I drank too much yesterday. And we ... And she ... And I ...

- You ed all night,” Minji finished for me.

- Like that,” I took a glass of drink and looked at my friend. - She opened it for you?

- No, I rang at the door, but no one answered, although I could smell with my that someone was at home. I thought maybe you were still sleeping. Well, I opened it with my keys. I told Yoohyeon that you had an important business there, in short, I tried to cover you up. But I think she has a couple of questions for you, "Minji shrugged her shoulders and drained her glass in almost three gulps. - How good. My head is splitting all day, ”my friend muttered and poured herself a fresh drink.

- What time did you arrive? - I drank in tiny sips, fearing that I would be quickly transported on old yeast.

- About two, maybe half past three.

I mentally calculated and realized that around this time I was at Bora.

- Why did you come? How did you end yesterday evening?

- Yes, damn it ... Everything turned out so strange here, - stretched Minji, straightening a little. - You know that Bora left home earlier yesterday? - at the mention of the girl's name, I almost winced, but I just nodded with restraint. - Well, I wanted to go with her, but she was like: “Well, I have a headache, why do you need to go, have fun,” in short, I stayed. And then I find out that you, too, have already dumped. Well, what to do, I had to stay, I didn't want to go home. Well ... And in the end ... - Minji fell silent, biting the inside of her cheek. 

- Eventually? - I asked, afraid to hear the most banal.

- Well, there was a girl ... - Minji continued to stare at the plate.

- Minji, - I sighed, - are you back for the old?

- Yes, damn it, it happened! - Minji began to make excuses. - I didn't want to ... Well ... I wanted to, but I didn't intend to. In short, it doesn't matter.

- And what have you done? Kissing in the toilet with another stranger? - I rubbed the bridge of my nose, realizing that I was very tired.

- Well ... - Minji stretched out her legs and picked vegetables with a fork. My eyes widened in surprise.

- Don't say that you got into her , - No, I, of course, knew that for Minji to sleep with someone is like drinking tea for me, but she has long been faithful to Bora. Sort of.

- To be honest, more than once,” Minji winced.

- Kim Minji ... You are such a fool, - I said quietly, pushing the plate away. I didn't want to eat at all.

Damn it, why is that? Why am I, the one who is ready to carry Bora in my arms, sitting here grieving about my hard lot, and the one that Bora has chosen s with others ?

- Yes, damn it, I didn't think it would turn out that way. You know, I haven't cheated on Bora before. Well, I had lunch with the messenger girl once, but that doesn't count. And in general, I sincerely believe that both people are to blame for treason.

- Yes? I raised an eyebrow skeptically. - And what is Bora's fault? Is she too good for you?

Heck. It was dangerous. Minji looked at me strangely, her eyes acquired a cold tint.

- Sorry,” I mumbled immediately. - I'm a little crazy.

- Yes, I noticed. Maybe magnetic storms? Or whatever ... Mercury retrograde in some phase. All kind of nutty.

- Maybe,” I smiled weakly. - So what's with this girl?

- Nothing with her, just hooked up. I said that both are guilty of treason. Both. Bora and I recently ... How to say ... In general, everything is complicated. I don't even remember the last time we had . She has something to do, then "these days", then at work is delayed, then her head hurts, then something else. Somehow all nervous, tense ... But I don't like it when a woman takes my brains out.

- Maybe you should have asked Bora what was wrong? - I offered and bit my tongue. And if it's because of this whole story? 

- Yes, I even tried somehow ... You know, I can't do all this. All these conversations, feelings ... In general, it doesn't matter anymore. She left me. Count it up, ”Minji chuckled and poured another martini into her glass. And me at the same time.

- Who? - Blinking stupidly, I asked.

- Bora. Are you going to finish? - Minji got up to clear the plates from the table.

- Why? - I stared at Minji, not noticing anything around.

- What "Why"?

- Why did you break up?

- I don’t know,” 

- You don't know?

- Well ..." Minji straightened up and put the plates in the sink. - She said that she treats me very warmly, but feels that I am not the right person. She doesn't want to waste my time and she kind of likes someone. But she doesn't want to behave badly and ugly behind my back, so she decided to be honest and say everything to my face.

I sat down with my mouth open. Someone ? My heart immediately began to beat wildly, admitting the slightest possibility that it could be me. Then the realization that this essentially does not change anything, and the cold mind prevailed, and I asked:

“When…” I cleared my throat, because the treacherous hoarseness immediately made itself felt. - When it was?

- Today here, before coming to you, I went to her. Of course, I was not going to admit to her that I had with another girl all night, but ... To be honest, I did not expect that she would leave me. It's unusual. Well, you understand. ”Minji waved her hand, catching my still dumbfounded gaze.

- So how are you? I asked cautiously.

- In terms of? - Minji put her feet on the ottoman under the table, leaning back in the chair.

- Well, are you upset? Depressed? Broken?

- Why should I be upset? Well, as, of course, I am a little offended, but ... We did not give each other oaths of allegiance, I did not confess my love to her, she to me too. Nothing of the kind happened, ”Minji shrugged.

- But you've been dating for a long time,” I muttered, not knowing if I should be happy about the news or not. But, the fact that none of them confessed their love, I was undoubtedly pleased.

- Long, - agreed Minji. - Especially for me. But ... If she met someone, then ... I don't know, I don't want to disturb her. What for? We had a good time together, but no more. She's cool, really. But I was not absorbed in her so that I now suffer. She's really interested there, I think. I did not understand very well what she meant, but on the horizon, it seems, she has someone. I just hope that Bora did not spin anything behind my back, - added Minji after a second pause.

- But you yourself cheated on her,” I reminded my friend.

- It's just . I will not see this girl again. And what Bora said is more serious there. What are you thinking about?

- Nothing," I shook my head.

- No, come on. You were clearly thinking of the "one". Who is she? You've never loved someone individually, have you? - Minji narrowed her eyes.

- I wasn't,” I answered.

- So what? What then?

- I just do not know. I think every person has "that one person".

- Oh, I see.

Minji was silent for several minutes, then asked, without looking at me without seeing:

- And if not?

- What exactly? - I did not understand, feeling the warmth from the drink fills all my insides.

- Well, if you never meet "that one"? - Minji looked at me, and for the first time I saw it in her eyes. Fear. There was a fear of being alone.

- Minji, I'm sure that you will meet your "that one". Maybe you just need to choose girls not by the cover?

- What do you mean? - gradually intoxicated Minji looked at me seriously.

- Well, you choose all your girls purely by external parameters, - I began to explain. - You only catch the picture.

- Well, I must like the girl look,” Minji began to protest.

- Nobody argues,” I agreed. - But then what? You will not learn anything about them. You don't want to understand them, get to know them better as people, do you understand?

- Not really,” Minji admitted.

- Well ... For example, what do you know about Bora? - reluctantly, I asked.

- In terms of?

- In addition to how old she is, who she works and when is her birthday. What do you know about her?

- Well ... Her father is an artist.

- Okay, what else?

- Um ... She ... loves to cook.

- Okay. Further. Favorite color? Movie? Dish?

- God, we have not lived with her for ten years! - Minji was indignant. - How do I know such details?

- The color is red. The movie"Avengers". Favorite dish is where there is fish. 

Minji looked at me with bulging eyes.

- Damn, Siyeon, have you date her too?

- No,” I chuckled sadly. - We just spoke. And she talked a lot about it. What I'm talking about is that you don't know her.. As a person.

- Yes ... Perhaps if I were like you, she would not have left. You should be dating her, ”Minji chuckled.

- Probably,” I joked at her tone, not feeling completely uninteresting.

- Okay, I understand you. Now I learn from girls all their personal data and their ancestry up to the eighth generation, ”Minji laughed, remaining true to herself.

- Better up to ten, otherwise you never know, - I laughed in response.

Hello, I hope you liked!

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