Description: Kyuhyun is teaching his hyungs how to survive a zombie apocalpyse.

Warning: Zombie talk. Yeah. Cause zombies are awesome. And I'm currently obssessed with them right now. I bet you were scared out of your pants when you saw the picture above......

Kyuhyun's Genius-Proof Guide On How To Survive A Zombie Apocalpyse

"So, class," Kyuhyun said as he banged his stick on the moveable chalkboard that was located right next to him, "What should you do first in a zombie apocalypse?"

Yesung raised his hand, eager to learn, "Kill zombies?"

"Find survivors?" 

"Find my umma?"

"Find my Eunhyuk?" The member who said this will remain unnamed by his request because he realized that he just revealed his deep dark secret. (But it should be quite easy to figure out who said this. *coughNemocough*)

"No. No. No. And no because Eunhyuk hyung will not be able to do anything in a zombie apocalypse except scream for his mom." Kyuhyun explained calmly.

Eunhyuk blurted out a "Hey!" and the person next to him (who requested to remain unnamed) tried to calm him down with some strawberry milk.

Kyuhyun continued, "The first thing that you should do is to grab something closest to you that could be used to behead a zombie. Such as a wooden broom handle or a metal rod or some sick wooden matrial arts stick that was owned by EXO's Tao. Next, you should find a kick partner who could whip lash anything into Beijing Fried Rice."

"Well, where should you go in a zombie apocalypse?" A practical (Practical? HA!) Yesung asked, "Where is a safe haven?"

"THERE. IS. NO. SAFE. HAVEN." Kyuhyun replied, enuciating (Kyuhyun: woah~~ when did the author learn such big words?) each word slowly and carefully. "You constantly have to be on the run. It is possible to stay in one area for a couple of days, but soon you will run out of supplies and die from starvation."

"God will create a safe haven." Even if the author chooses to be unnamed as well, we should all know who this is. I mean, if you don't, then what have you been doing all your ELF life?

"Anyways," Kyuhyun said as he walked around and handed each of his hyungs plus Henry a piece of paper, "This is the list of all the rules that you need to obey in a zombie apocalpyse."

THE RULES:

1. Do not scream loudly. Zombies will hear you and you'll never be able to scream again.

2. Follow the Buddy System. One is not enough while 26's a crowd. Smaller groups should do the trick.

3. Never go to places with high population density. You're just asking to die.

4. Never leave Eunhae to their own devices. They will get themselves killed.

5. Always have a person in your group that can martial art anyone's . But if his name starts with a "Han" and ends with a "Geng," then you are just asking to die. By Heechul's heels.

6. Don't leave Siwon alone when he's praying. Though he might believe that he is safe, he isn't.

7. Split up the Eunhae couple when splitting into mini groups. It's common thought that they both have a mind tracker to find the other.

8. Don't let Yesung bring his turtle.

9. Don't let Heechul bring his lipstick or heels. The zombies do not need a makeover.

10. Don't let Siwon bring his Holy Water. 

"Kyuhyun, this is crazy." Leeteuk said as he looked down at the rules. "There is not going to be a zombie apocalypse. Is this what you meant by Emergency Family Meeting?"

"THIS IS NOT CRAZY." Kyuhyun replied defiantly, "I'm getting you prepared for a zombie apocalpyse! I don't want you to get eaten!!!"

"Kangin," Leeteuk turned to the member sitting on his right, "What shows has he been watching lately?"

"The Walking Dead."

"Of course he is." Leeteuk sighed. "Well, if you guys need me, I'll be in my room, preening." Leeteuk walked up swiftly and back into his room.

Kyuhyun just sighed, "Well, I'm sorry to say this guys, but our leader would be the first to go."

"Wait, Kyuhyun!" Yesung shouted, "I'm still listening!"

"Kyuhyun, I have a question..." A random member asked. (He requested to remain anonymous.)

Kyuhyun grinned, "Yes?"

"Why can't I bring my Holy Water?"

....... Oh, Shisus

-X-

"Urgh, why is our maknae so easily influenced by the media?" Leeteuk asked Kangin when they were both in the kitchen trying to cook dinner because the rest of the members were too busy hanging on to Kyuhyun's every word for advice.

Kangin just shook his head when he diced tomatoes, "At least this wasn't like the time with DeathNote."

Leeteuk shuddered. What a horrible memory.

Kyuhyun: Did you think that I would nicely hand you Diva Perfume Spray on a silver platter? Pshaw. I have one word for you peeps. TROLLED. Kekekekeke ^.^

silverseaturtles: I'm sorry folks, but you know how Kyuhyun is. No one can  say no to the Evil Maknae. I wanted to post it, I really did, but Kyuhyun wouldn't let me.

Kyuhyun: THAT'S RIGHT! BECAUSE IT'S MY NOTEBOOK.

silverseaturtles: I know that this wasn't that funny, but I have major writer's block so I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE.

Kyuhyun: Technically, this wasn't in advance if you told them about it after they read the story.

silverseaturtles: Oh, so are we going into technicalities now? Do you wanna do this? Do you wanna fight?

Kyuhyun: I can whip your without even lifting a finger!

silverseaturtles: Oh really?! Prove it!

Kyuhyun: MINNNNNIIIEEEEE~~~! Help!!!

silverseaturtles: Shoot! Gotta run!

Kyuhyun: Kekekekeke ^.^ Pwned. I wonder if anyone actually reads these.......