“You’re an ocean, Song Yiseo. Such a blue, blue ocean. And I’m not afraid of your waves, no matter how tall they are or how deep they can drag me,” Junmyeon told her, looking her straight in the eye. Indeed, he wasn’t afraid; he just didn’t expect her to come crashing over him with such force.

Song Yiseo was no tranquil ocean that he could easily navigate. He knew that.

Song Yiseo was not without waves. He knew that too.

Song Yiseo was a treacherous, deadly ocean, with waves that went up and down, deafening – such passion was locked inside her body. Kim Junmyeon neither knew or expected that.

When Yiseo kissed him, he did not expect it to burn or to enjoy the pain it was inflicting. He tried his best to meet her halfway, but despite all his feelings for her, despite his heart beating only for her step on, he could not measure up to her. Because everything that she had no been able to give Jongin, everything that had been left unsaid since before they became history – she gave it all to Junmyeon, unknowingly pulling him deep under.

Compared to Jongin, Junmyeon’s love wasn’t dangerous. Compared to Jongin, who always seemed to be one foot out the door, Junmyeon was always close by. That night too.

Shy at first, Yiseo kissed him because he was close, because she thought that was what he wanted.

“Yiseo.” Her name escaped his lips, stopping her. “You don’t have to do this. This is not what I want from you. At least not like this,” Junmyeon ran his fingers through his hair, his smile a bit crooked. She saw them trembling a bit before she took his hand.

“But I want it this way,” she whispered, placing his hand on her chest. She hoped he could feel the warmth of her skin through the thin shirt and that he wouldn’t question if he was the reason behind it. Because truth be told, he was not; it was a thirst bigger than her, so violent that it demanded she pay tribute.

Junmyeon too, hesitant at first, wondered if it was right for him to take advantage of her offering. But she was so warm under his touch, her fingers clung to him with such desperation, that he gave in and allowed her fingers to slip his coat off and sneak under his shirt. And as her lips met his again, Junmyeon realized how wrong and right he had been to think of her as an ocean.

Song Yiseo was an ocean indeed; an ocean of thirst and hunger, an ocean of fire.

Song Yiseo was dangerous because she was burning away all his reason, all his determination to let her have his way with him. And when it all turned to ashes, all that was left was his own desire, his own thirst which, meeting Yiseo’s, made them burn hotter and brighter.

In Junmyeon’s arms, Yiseo discovered that there was no pain to make her wince, just pleasure to chase away any other thoughts. The way Junmyeon looked at her made her blush, but his desire wasn’t shameful and there was no erse feeling in the way he touched her skin, one inch at a time as if taking his sweet time to personally greet every goose-bump that his soft touch raised on her skin.

Junmyeon didn’t rush to take off his clothes, only his shirt laid somewhere on the floor. Instead he took his time to touch her, to see her whole, no obstruction between his fingertips and Yiseo’s skin.

Their bodies met with no rush, only with excitement. And in the soft light of lamp by the bed, Junmyeon didn’t realize that Yiseo dragged him low below and that he was drowning. Because her kisses were so hungry, her embrace so sweet that it soothed his heartache and made him feel indestructible.

That night, Kim Junmyeon fell asleep high on Song Yiseo’s body, not realizing he had drowned on his own love for her or how much it would hurt when she would leave him, hurrying to another.

* * *

Junmyeon woke up to the annoying sound of an alarm. In the still darkness of the room, Yiseo’s phone briefly illuminated her half-asleep face before she answered the call.

“What do you want, Jongin?” Junmyeon’s heart shrunk. “Now? I see. I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Yiseo continued on a serious note before putting away the phone. “I woke you up,” she then said, back Junmyeon, phone still in her hand. Hunched like that, she looked like she was in pain. But Junmyeon just couldn’t bring himself to reach for her.

With a sigh, she started to stand up when his hand caught on hers, pulling back.

“Can’t you stay?” Hearing himself, he recognized the fall. But it was too late to take it back. “Do you really have to go to him?”

She didn’t look at him or pull away. “Something came up at work and he needs me there.”

“He’ll always use that excuse to call you back into his arms. I’m right here! Look at me, I’m right next to you!” Was it resentment, anger which made him link his arms around her, her against his chest? He wasn’t sure, but he knew he had to keep her still. Because once out of the bed, Song Yiseo was going to slip away from him forever.

But perhaps that was exactly what she wanted because she pulled away gently, yet with determination. She didn’t apologize or ask him to leave. She simply left him there on her bed and went to get dressed. And piece by piece, her armor was back on and ready to be pierced by whatever Jongin had in store for her. Because her life was just like a fish tank: no matter what new decorations were added in it, in the end, it was still all about swimming in circles, going back and forth between what she already knew and the weirdness of the new. And just like the fish in the tanks always choose the decorations they recognize, Song Yiseo too chose Kim Jongin.

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