The year was 2012 and I had just been discharged from the army. With the rucksack dangling by one shoulder, I passed through the gates of the military base. A couple was holding hands while staring ahead towards the unknown which awaited behind the gates because obviously, he was just starting his service.

I got in the car my father sent without much fuss and as the car put distance between me and the camp, the girl’s face unknowingly remained stuck in my head. Was anyone waiting for me like she was going to wait for her lover?

The year was 2012 and that was the first time I had laid eyes on Song Yiseo.

* * *

After almost two years of military service, I found it awkward walking down the familiar alleys of the campus. Because while I was away, my friends graduated and new students started attending. I was their senior and at the same time their junior, so there was this imposed awkwardness wherever I went. I, Kim Junmyeon, was suddenly an outsider in the middle of my peers.

“Is this seat taken?” It was the girl from the military camp’s gates.

“No, please,” I took my bag from the chair and dropped it on the floor.

“New to this class?”

“You could say that. You?”

“Yeah, but I reached the conclusion that I hate ethics!” She frowned. “Yiseo, I mean, my name is Yiseo.”

“Junmyeon,” I whispered as the professor entered the lecture theater. Because I got drafted right before the exams, I was forced to take the course again, so I pretty much knew what it was about, giving me more time to focus on Yiseo. She was chewing on her pen, taking notes as the professor sped through his lecture. “I can help you study for this course, if you want,” I offered as we gathered our things.

Her eyebrows arched up.

“I got drafted before the exam period, so I had to retake the course. I still have my old notes if you want to have a look,” I explained. “Or I can explain the things you don’t understand after the class.” For some reason, I was desperate for her to say accept.

“Then, if you don’t mind, could you please explain this concept?” She quickly pulled out her notebook and pointed at something she had underlined. “I really hate ethics.”

“Let’s sit somewhere.”

“How about that café?”

“Sure!”

We kept things professional while sipping coffee and double-checking concepts from the textbook and before we knew it, one staff member came to inform us that they were closing soon.

“I don’t think you’ll need my help from here on,” I said, holding the door for her while hiding my disappointment. She was a fast learner. “But if you do, here’s my phone number; feel free to text me.” A phone number scribbled on a napkin that I was sure was going to be binned.

But she accepted it most gracefully before we parted.

I was back to being alone, so I decided to hit the library and look over some law books that I was sure were going to be on the bar exam. And while passing by the main info board, the ranking list drew my attention.

The year was 2012 when I discovered that where I once was placed first, now stood Song Yiseo.

* * *

“Why did you lie?” I asked the next week, during one of the tutoring sessions for ethics. “I saw it, you know, the ranking. No way you can be first in university and not understand ethics.”

Yiseo smile made her look like one of those cats caught stealing. “So you found that out, huh?”

“It’s kind of difficult not to when you’re on almost every info board in university.”

“I do hate ethics though. That wasn’t a lie. And plus, I didn’t really lie. I never said I was stupid or had poor academic score, did I?”

“Maybe you should drop from Finance and move to Law,” I smiled. “Then why are we doing this?”

She shrugged. “I was curious. I heard of you, Kim Junmyeon, once ranked first in the entire university, now everyone avoids you. I was curious why’s that.”

“And what did you come up with?”

“Nothing. Just that I’m in real danger to lose my scholarship if I don’t keep up with you.” She checked her phone. “I should go. Jongin said he can finally use facetime. See you tomorrow?”

“See you,” I smiled reassuringly.

I was curious about this ‘Jongin’. I found his name right below hers on the ranking list, but nothing else. I couldn’t pry and ask her directly, although I knew she wouldn’t mind. There was something about the way she was saying his name made me clench my teeth; worship? Perhaps less than that, but much more than just adoration.

I left the café and headed for the library again, hoping that Yiseo would never dig further to find out why people were avoiding me. I had one day in my life when everything went sideways. I made mistakes and took poor decisions which led to a tragedy. That day in 2010 had been a snowball from the beginning to very end: I got drunk and, combined with the painkillers I was already on, mad