“take my fire

and kill it, I asked.

don't give it wilderness

for it expands

consuming me.”

Song Yiseo wrote that poem soon after waking up in the hospital, crumbling up the paper soon after. It was something she never thought about again, and yet the words came rushing in her mind, mixing with her thoughts, making her dizzy.

Jongin’s poem.

A poem about Jongin.

Something she wanted to hide back then – but what about now?

“I love you, Song Yiseo,” he repeated, making the entire crowd hold in its breath.

Only Yiseo inhaled. Deeply. The ten years-old poem that she wrote from the hospital bed rushing to her mind as she stared at Jongin.

“It’s up to you,” she heard Junmyeon whisper, his fingers unclasping from around her wrist. “It’s all up to you.”

Unanchored like she suddenly became, Song Yiseo chose flight over fight, running through the rain for her car. From the corner of her eye she saw Junmyeon on the building’s stairs, looking at her pulling out of the car park, but couldn’t bring herself to stop. It wouldn’t have been fair.

Without her, Junmyeon would have possible partners lining up for him.

Without her, Jongin was going to be a married man.

It was her who was extra – because she survived that night, Yiseo realized. That night tied them all together in a false-fate-like series of conjunctures. Now, almost ten years later, Song Yiseo realized that she had to break the chains that tied them together.

So, she disappeared.

* * *

“I never expected you to come in person,” Sehun said, all smiles when he picked her up from the airport. “How long do you plan on staying?”

“As long as needed,” she replied as they got in his car. “Did you manage to find a location for our store?”

“I found some places that I think would be great for us, but I didn’t sign the lease yet. Want to look over them together?”

“Yes. Can we go there now?”

“Now? Chief Song, you’ve just landed after a twelve hours long flight,” Sehun frowned, “shouldn’t you rest?”

Yiseo took off her sunglasses slowly. “Did I stutter, Manager Oh? Let’s go see those locations and sign the lease as soon as possible. The company is going to lose money if we don’t move fast.”

“There’s a file in the back seat about the adverts that will start rolling tomorrow,” he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, while they waited for the green light. “We’ll have them in Passy Plaza and magazines. As we decided last meeting, there won’t be any TV commercials, but our products will be featured in some fashion magazines. It’s all in the report I was going to send today,” Sehun added, throwing Yiseo a quick look as she browsed through the file.

“No need,” she said, “I’ll take care of things.”

“Y-You will?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t take credit for your work. I’ll make sure our branch opens successfully before going back, that’s all. Oh, this is pretty,” she said as Sehun parked the car.

“Welcome to Paris!” Sehun said smiling.

Yiseo smiled too. From where they were parked, she could see people walking busily on one side of the Avenue des Champs Elysées and knew it was the perfect place.

“Did something happen home?” Yiseo heard Sehun ask from her side while they walked down the street. “They’re calling for an urgent meeting,” he explained, looking straight at her.

“Did they say anything else?”

“Just that you can’t be reached.”

“I see.” She put back on her sunglasses. “Let’s see the place. Maybe we can even sign the lease today.”

* * *

She laid on her back in the massive bed, covering her eyes with her arm despite the darkness of her room. Her head was spinning, images of the past twenty-something hours flashing before her eyes. Jongin on the edge of the stage, Jongin’s stretched-out hand, Jongin’s pleading eyes. Jongin, Jongin, Jongin. It was like no matter how far she’d run, he would always be there, right behind, like an iron ball tied to her ankle.

At first it was quiet, everyone staring at her. Then Krystal collapsed and everyone started shifting, gravitating towards the bride.

Yiseo sighed. She didn’t want to remember. It only made her mad – just how easy was it for him to go from one to another, break hearts left and right just because he couldn’t make his damn mind?! Kim Jongin deserved none of her sleepless nights, Yiseo decided. He deserved to suffer just like she did. Yiseo’s own laughter startled her. No matter under what form, Kim Jongin managed to creep his way back into her mind – and she felt a erse pleasure knowing that, running away like she did, it made him think about her just like she was thinking about him with almost every breath she took.

Jongin, Krystal, Junmyeon and her – she wondered what wicked fate had tied them together. Like lovers on a leash, they all seemed damned to chase one another for eternity. That’s why she stopped herself from picking up the phone to call Junmyeon.

Instead, Yiseo the water, filling the bathtub before stripping to get in. And submerged in the hot water, Yiseo cried. She didn’t want to be home wrecker, the mistress s