“Come on, I just need, like, 5 minutes to talk to you.”

“Taeyeon, I’m at work..”

“But this is the only time I got through to you! You’re always unavailable! When I wake up, you’re at work, I get that. But when I got off from mine, you’re already slee—“

“My god, taeyeon! Are we seriously---sigh…I can’t do this right now, I don’t want to argue about this again and I’m really busy, let’s talk later. I have to go.”

“No don’t you hang—Jess--! !” taeyeon threw her phone to the bed and buried her face on the pillow.

It has been three weeks since taeyeon went to New York for work and since then, she found it hard to reach through jessica with the 6-hour time difference aside from the fact that the girl is always busy with work.

She has this day off but she can’t really do anything other than feel lonely. That is until she remembered her friends who are working at New York. She grabbed her phone and scrolled through her contacts and messaged two girls; Tiffany and Seohyun.

“Hey guys, I’m currently here at New York and today’s my off. You two available? Do you wanna go grab coffee and catch up, perhaps?”

She waited for a few minutes and immediately dressed up when she got a response from the two.

-

It was around noon that the trio met up so they decided to eat lunch. Taeyeon just looks at her surroundings while tiffany orders food for them.

“Ruby’s Café…you guys usual here?” she asked seohyun

“Used to, when we were still students. We’d go here and eat if we have time to meet up.”

Tiffany caught on their conversation “We brought Sooyoung, Hyoyeon, and Yuri here too when they went on a vacation here and...got lost. I swear, those three have no sense of direction, it was so chaotic" taeyeon laughed histerically and immediately put her palm over "Oh no, I laughed too out loud. Oh my gosh. I thought you could've seen my larynx" the other two laughed, making tiffany clap her hands

"Anyway, what do you usually order here?" taeyeon asked after settling down

"Seohyun especially loves their sweet potato fries here. Goguma” she teased the other girl in which she earned an eye-roll

“Cut it out” The two exchanged banters and talked more about the foods they used to eat and taeyeon would just smile at the two of them.

“I missed you guys”

“Isn’t it still too early to get mushy? Kidding, of course we missed you guys too.” said tiffany, showcasing her eyesmile

“You both seem happy. You got your dream jobs?” taeyeon asked and was answered with nods “I’m not surprised”

“Seohyun’s now, amazingly, a music instructor at Juilliard. Me, well, I’m still working my way up in Hollywood but I’m happy with getting roles along with big celebrities. Lucky me” tiffany said with a giggle. Taeyeon's happy that her friends are content and happy but she can’t help but feel a little envious knowing these

“How are you and jessica?”

“We? ummm…we’re good” she nods and took a sip of her water, trying to flush down the memories of their fight earlier “She’s currently working as a designer at this famous brand, and she seems happy there. Though, she’s just a little too busy lately” she said with a shrug and looked down at her palms.

“And you, taeyeon? Have you auditioned already? How’d it go?”

“Audition where?” said taeyeon who has a confused face and furrowed eyebrows. She was answered with the same confusion on the other girls’ faces.

“What do you mean ‘audition where’? Aren’t you here at New York to audition? Broadway’s casting, you didn’t know?” tiffany asked as their lunch is being served at their table

“We thought you flew all the way from Paris to New York for an audition.”

“Uhh no, I’m here for work.”

“Wait wait, can you fill us in? I thought you’re doing theater back in paris? You aren’t? I mean you studied performing arts…” tiffany and seohyun eagerly looked at taeyeon while readying themselves to eat.

“Well, yeah, I did study performing arts there but…I'm a talent agent now and you know…acting in theater wouldn’t pay the bills as much as working regularly at a company. That’s why I’m here with my team, we attend meetings and negotiate with this big production company” the two girls just nodded listening to taeyeon “And it’s hella expensive to live in france, I got lucky that my current job pays high enough”

"Which company? Are you guys going to film a new movie? Can you squeeze me in?" tiffany jokingly tried to get a role

"No, it's confidential as of now. And, you'll have to learn french or at least, learn the accent."

"Awww..."

Seohyun butted in “But isn’t it your dream to perform?”

Taeyeon paused, thinking about seohyun’s question to her. ‘It was. It is’ she answered inside her mind. It was like a repressed memory she has chosen to hide. How she unconsciously bury images of her, acting in place of the original actress she once watched with jessica in a theater-musical.

Her train of thought was interrupted when tiffany spoke.

“Not just perform. It’s to perform at freaking BROADWAY. Hey taeyeon, do you want to audition now? I know some people there that can help us. Besides, I’m going to audition too so you won’t have to worry about being alone.”

“After we eat, I can go with you two and cheer you on” seohyun smiles

She let out a chuckle “No, it’s fine.”

“Come on, taetae. Just try it so you won’t have regrets. If you get accepted, you can turn it down if you really don’t want it. Simple as that.” she skewered her salad and ate it “And to be quite honest, this isn’t you.”

Tiffany hits her where it hurts. She herself is completely aware that this isn’t what she’s supposed to be and this got her second-thinking. Maybe tiffany’s right, maybe she should try and have no regrets of not doing anything.

“Okay”

-

“Still worth a try” seohyun said as they went out

Taeyeon nodded and genuinely smiled “Yeah, congratulations tiffany, for landing a role” she didn’t get a role for herself, but she’s still glad she tried

“You did your best too, taeyeon”

“Please, don’t patronize me. Jesus.” taeyeon said while rolling her eyes which made the other two laugh.

“I was gonna say ‘at least you tried’ but then it sounds more patronizing than what I said earlier” tiffany teased “Anyways, can I…ditch you guys here? I have a date at 7 and I wanna prepare nicely”

“We only get to see each other once in a blue moon, and what do I get. I get ditched.”

“Like how you frequently do to us back in highschool so you can have your quote and quote friendly dates with jessica” tiffany retaliated with squinted eyes and a smirk

“…Touche. Fine, go away”

“You’re with seohyun to keep you company, so stop complaining” she chuckled “I really have to go, sorry guys. Let’s catch up the next time you’re here taeyeon.” tiffany hugged them and waved her hand while walking away “Bye!”

While they’re watching tiffany walk away, taeyeon felt her phone ringing. She fished her phone from her bag and saw who is calling. Seohyun saw her just looking at her phone and not answering, so she asked “Aren’t you gonna answer?”

It’s jessica. But she doesn’t know whether to answer or not until the ringing stopped and she missed the call.

“Who was that?”

“Let's drink seo, you're stuck with me anyway.” taeyeon said, not answering seohyun’s question. She was left with no choice but to just reluctantly follow the older girl.

-

Taeyeon was already on her second shot of scotch while seohyun looks at her, her margarita untouched.

“Wow, that really burns.”

“You shouldn’t drink too much.”

Taeyeon ordered another shot and said “Drinking takes the pain away.” she was served another shot and immediately drank it straight.

“Alcohol is a depressant. It doesn’t hide nor take your problems away. It just--”

“--tricks me into feeling loosened up, yeah yeah I know Ms. Smartypants. But it does distract me from everything.”

Seohyun paused, watching taeyeon drink another shot “Do you wanna talk about it? What’s going on?”

Taeyeon contemplates for a second if she really wants to talk about this, but she thought it would be good to let it out once in a while “Well, you know… adults have existential crisis at least once in their life.” taeyeon joked but seohyun just looks at her, urging her to continue.

“……..I feel lost. With my career…with jessica…this isn’t how I imagined things would go.”

“So it was jessica eonnie earlier? The one who called?”

“....We had a fight this morning. When she called, I wasn’t ready to talk to her because of how upset I was feeling… I haven’t been able to reach her since I got here. Actually, I haven’t been able to reach her at all, even when we’re living at the same roof. How ironic of me, right? Wanting to talk to her but ended up not answering the call." she drank another shot and continued

“She’s been busy with her career, and I do understand that. I feel so proud and happy for her. But I still can’t help but feel like…it felt like I’m always the one who is trying to chase her. I feel like, I always have to beg for her attention, when I shouldn’t feel that way, should I?” she looks at seohyun

“God, I hate myself. I shouldn’t be dependent on her like this. I’m always at the back, following her trails, but I don’t know….”

“You feel left behind?” seohyun guessed what her friend is feeling

“Maybe a part of myself want to feel what she’s feeling, what YOU guys are feeling, you know? To feel happy, doing something…you’re passionate about. Something you’ve always wanted to do. She’s one step further towards her goal, but I’m one step further away from mine.” she sighed “This isn’t me. Paris isn’t the place for me. ...I'm sorry, it sounded selfish”

“There's nothing wrong with wanting more for yourself. People are wired that way, even her" seohyun paused "Have you talked to her about this?” taeyeon shook her head at seohyun’s question. “Why do I feel like you didn’t tell her about your past Juilliard application?”

“If she knew, she would've pushed and supported me, not that I wouldn't be thankful, but I wouldn't have been with her. Besides, I'm happy with my alma mater so it's fine" she smiled reassuringly "She doesn’t need to know. I mean, it’s all in the past, what’s the point.”

“Transparency. That’s the point.” seohyun said straightforwardly. “You know that communication is vital to a relationship, right? You should communicate this better with her. Tell her what you’ve been feeling so that she could help you.”

This got her thinking, seohyun’s definitely right. But it’s easier said than done. “When did you become a relationship guru? You don’t even have a partner.”

Seohyun shook her head slightly “I’m not a relationship...whatever you call it, I’m just helping you see the obvious.”

Taeyeon just sighed, knowing she won’t win arguing with seohyun “I’ll try when I get back.”

“There’s just nothing good that comes out of bottling your feelings up. Tiffany eonnie and I can help you if ever you finally decide to work here at New York. Jessica eonnie would understand, she loves you.” seohyun said earning a chuckle from taeyeon

"it's not that simple just because she loves me."

"I know things aren’t black and white, but you’ve got to trust her at least.”

“Well, I just hope we get better at this long-distance thing, then maybe I can have a chance at my life. ...I’ll talk to her when I get back.” she smiled at seohyun “Umm, thank you, for listening. It's feels great to just talk and release. It's been so long.”

Seohyun smiled back sweetly “Of course, I’m just being a good friend. Try to think about working here, okay? If you want to redeem yourself, we're just a call away” and taeyeon nodded.

“Aren’t you gonna drink that?” taeyeon pointed to seohyun’s drink

“I will, and you should stop drinking. I don’t want to take care of a drunk woman.” seohyun deadpanned while sipping on her drink “I can only imagine what jessica eonnie went through trying to take care of you”

“Pssh, party pooper” she pouted which made the two of them chuckle. “Well, come on, hurry up, I’ll treat you to sbarro or krispy kreme. What do you want?”

“Those are unhealthy”

"Will you please try to live like a normal person? Just this once" taeyeon complained

"I'll probably live much longer than a normal person for trying to be healthy"

“Oh my god seo joohyun.”

Seohyun snickered “Alright alright, just for tonight.” she drank the rest of her margarita while taeyeon paid their drinks. She fished her phone from her pocket and messaged jessica, apologizing for missing her call earlier and telling her she’s with seohyun.

She received a reply immediately saying “Alright. About earlier, I’m really sorry. Let’s facetime and talk more when you get back to your room. Just message me, okay? I’ll wait. Be safe, and say hi to seohyun for me. I love you”

“Jessica says hello” taeyeon said to seohyun, typing a quick reply of “I love you too” before they went out the bar.