Jonghyun was sitting by the window, staring out into the night, and looking uncomfortable. He had been confined to a wheelchair during his stay in the facility, and he hated it. He rubbed at his eyes a bit, looking frustrated. He'd done a lot of things during the day, from having a two hour therapy session after breakfast, being forced to eat a snack even though he wasn't hungry, having a weigh in before lunch, eating the lunch that he could barely stand to look at, and then going to a three hour long group therapy session. Even during the therapy session, though, he was continually being given crackers and bits of friut, to the point where eating more felt painful, but they always did this. This was his daily routine, and no amount of frustration or complaint or even tears was going to change that. He learned that the hard way. And he hated going to the bathroom, or showering. He always needed to ask for help, and so he would hold it in until he felt like he was going to explode. The only good thing that had come of the day was the promotion to level two. He was allowed visitors, and phone privilages - not that he much enjoyed the phone, but he was willing to dial Jinki's number with his shaking fingers and plead with him to come visit.

 

He was terrified they were going to forget about him there. He didn't know how long it had been anymore, and his fear of losing Minho and Jinki and Kibum and Taemin was overwhelming. He felt sick at the thought of never being able to tell Minho he cared about him, maybe loved him. He hated knowing he might not get the opportunity to kiss the younger boy, or hold his hand. He was terrified that they wouldn't care, or come visit, and so when Jinki answered the phone, he choked for a moment. But then he managed to speak up, and Jinki agreed to come visit right away. He sighed and turned his head to look at the nurses. He wasn't allowed to push himself, because that was a type of excercise that burned too many calories. He wouldn't gain the weight he needed if he used all his energy, but he wasn't worried about becoming fat. The simple daily excercises he was forced to do formed muscles quickly. His body wanted to be strong, not squishy, but he still had to gain the rest of the 30 lbs he was required to.

 

He waved a nurse over, looking uncomfortable. She his hair gently, before smiling at him and waiting for him to tell her what he needed. She was the only nurse Jonghyun really liked. She was kind and understanding, and funny too. She always made him feel better, and would sit with him when he was upset and cried, or the one time when he was put in a room by himself because he had gotten so upset he screamed at one of the other patients. She reminded him a lot of his mother, because she was so forgiving. He even told her about his feelings for Minho, and his fear that the others would all forget him.

 

He remembered her telling him that it was unlikely anyone would ever forget him. He still wasn't sure what she had meant by that, but somehow, it had helped calm his nerves enough to get him to sleep at night. He refused the sleeping pills the doctor had offered him, along with the anti anxiety medications. He didn't like taking pills, and as a result he only took the calcium supplement he needed to take to make his bones stronger. He didn't see the point in drugging himself to sleep, and then drugging himself to stay awake. Especially when the only thing he really needed for a good nights sleep was a certain boy with long brown hair and exceptional height.

 

He looked up at the nurse, blushing slightly as he debated the least awkward way to tell her what he needed. In the end though, he only sounded like a child, which seemed to be a common comparison with him lately anyway. People wanted to make him comfortable, trying their hardest to work through his tantrums, however few and far between they were. He needed help with everything anyway, even struggling to eat certain foods because of his injury.

 

"I..I have to...go." He said. She grinned teasingly at him, and took off the brakes on the wheels before bringing him into the bathroom.

 

"I've told you before, you don't need to be embarassed." She said, helping him up onto the toilet, then turning away to offer him some privacy. He sighed.

 

"I know. But I am." Jonghyun said. "I used to do everything for myself. Now I don't do anything at all."

 

"But you will." She said.

 

A few minutes later they were exiting the bathroom. Jonghyun was trying to decide where he wanted to go when he heard the buzzer on the door go off. Everyone knew he was waiting for his first visitors since his arrival, and the room was fairly crowded with kids he was in therapy groups with. He could feel their eyes on him as they stopped and watched the door, but he didn't care, because he had seen a very familiar head of hair, one he was certain belonged to his appa. He wasn't sure when he had begun to think of the elder that way, but that was the only appropriate thing to call him. Four people came into the room, two of them looking excited, one of them looking confused, and one looking smug. Jonghyun gasped, leaning forward in his chair. Somehow, the reality that he was going to see them didn't hit until he saw them walking through the door.

 

He took in each of their faces, feeling ready to cry. Kibum caught sight of him right away and offered a huge smile, resting his hand on Taemin's shoulder. The youngest looked up at his boyfriend, then followed his eyes, excitement clear on his face. Jinki was busy signing them in at the desk, but his hands were moving faster than normal. He was in a hurry to spend as much time with his whole family as he could. Jonghyun smiled, and let his eyes travel to the last boy. He was the tallest, the most quiet, and the only one who could make Jonghyun feel better simply by being there. The injured boy felt his stomach flutter in a way that could only be associated with one person.

 

"Minho!" He called out, and the boy turned. A shocked expression came across his face, and he stood frozen for a moment, then approached the other boy slowly.

 

"Jjongie." The name escaped his lips without his knowledge, and he crouched in front of the chair. "Oh my god."

 

"Minho.." He said quietly, reaching forward to embrace Minho. The taller boy wrapped his arms around Jonghyun's waist, lifting him out of the seat and hugging him close. Jonghyun kept a tight grip on Minho, looking scared at suddenly being in the air, but clinging to him in a way that had to do with more than fear. Minho kissed the side of his head, then left his own head pressed against Jonghyun's. "I miss you."

 

"I miss you too." Minho said, squeezing him.

 

Jonghyun, who at some point had closed his eyes, opened them slowly and looked around, blushing a bit when he realized how many people were staring at him. He burrowed his face into Minho's neck and sighed. He was usually watching the racket, not causing it, but he was so happy to be in Minho's arms again. It felt like home, more than anything else, and the memory was the only thing that kept Jonghyun grounded most days. Minho turned around slowly, keeping a strong grip on the boy in his arms, and looked at Jinki with graditude beaming from his eyes. He hadn't been expecting this, but it made him so happy. Jinki smiled back, then looked pointedly at Jonghyun. Minho reluctantly released the shorter boy back into his chair, but stayed close by, and Jonghyun held onto his shirt as Taemin approached him.

 

"Are you coming home now?" He asked, looking excited. Jonghyun's heart sank as he shook his head.

 

"No..I'm only allowed visitors for now. I still need to gain some weight before I can go home." Jonghyun said, sighing. "It should be soon, though."

 

Minho was petting his hair absently, and Jonghyun barely had the frame of mind to think on it. He was just happy everyone was there. The happiness carried through as they were directed into a small room designated for visitations. Jonghyun's smile was bright, and he looked ready to burst from the happiness. He seemed a lot more positive now, and it was infectious. Key was looking him up and down in a motherly way, bending over to take the elder's face in his hand and turn it to the side. When he released Jonghyun's face the boy raised a brow at him in confusion.

 

"How much have you gained? Thirteen pounds?" Key guessed. Jonghyun nodded.

 

"I need to gain seventeen more." He added. He watched as the three younger boys sat on the couch, leaving Jonghyun in his chair, and Jinki sitting in an armchair not too far to the left.

 

"Have they been taking care of you?" Jinki asked. Jonghyun nodded, looking down at his lap suddenly. He didn't want to complain. He knew it was all to help him, anyway. "What's wrong, then?"

 

Jonghyun remained silent for a few minutes, trying to think of the best way to say what he wanted to without sounding ungrateful. He hadn't kicked the habbit of thinking seriously before he spoke, and while most found it to be a good trait, it was frustrating sometimes to know he was probably holding back more than he was letting out. Jinki nudged his arm softly with his hand, offering a gentle reminder to speak up. 

 

"I just want to go home." He finally admitted as the door opened. He turned his head and watched as a man in a white coat came into the room. The expression on his face changed suddenly, like someone who was anticipating bad news.

 

"Don't look so down." The man said, smiling at Jonghyun. "I told you we were done for the day, and so we're done. I just need to talk to your appa for a minute, ok?"

 

Jonghyun nodded, looking relieved, and the man approached Jinki.

 

"I'm Jonghyun's primary care physician." He introduced himself. "I know you want to spend time with your son, but I need you to come into my office with me for a moment. I need to discuss some things with you."

 

Jinki agreed slowly, looking at Jonghyun with some concern, before following the doctor out of the room, leaving Jonghyun alone with the other boys.

 

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I'll be honest, I've about beaten my brain to death in an attempt to write this chapter. If it's horrible, I apologize.