Learning
Finding HomeDinner turned out to be quite an event. You were allowed to sit with anyone, but people usually stuck to their own roommates, and that was fine. But the crowds of people made it difficult to hear yourself think, and the line for food, while quite fast moving, was intimidating. Minho took him by the arm and lead him through the cafeteria, helping him load up his plate without a second thought, and then lead the boy back to the table. Jonghyun sighed, but accepted this as an opportunity to get to know the people he would be spending the next 20 months with. Unless, in the apparently unlikely event, one of them got adopted. The one most likely to be adopted was Taemin, due to his cuteness. He was 15, the youngest in the room, and apparently on their entire floor. It wasn't outright said, but Jonghyun got the impression that it wasn't very common for someone so young to share a room with people so much older when people his own age were able to share a room with him.
It didn't take long for everyone to share their stories, either. Taemin, the skinny little thing, was apparently abused by his parents and his elementary school had had him removed when he was 10.
"That's why I don't really like when people yell. It bothers me a lot, and it makes the nightmares come back." Taemin said shyly, staring at the floor. Key reached over and took Taemin's hand.
"I know you want to know. We got together two months after he got here." Key said. "I got here 8 months before him. I was ten, too. My family had this really nice, small house by some water, and my mother and father treated me and each other well. They..they were in a car crash when I was 10. It was just two months after my birthday."
"I don't remember being left here. I've just been here for a long long time. My mother and father didn't want me, I guess. I think, I must have been a bad child." Minho said, biting his lip. He let out a breath and looked up at Jonghyun, his eyes sincere. "That's why I try to be a kind person now. When I was little, I must have done bad things, and not deserved love, so I have to be a good person, and care about other people now, so someone can love me. I want to become someone who can deserve that."
Jonghyun stared at Minho, his mouth hanging open a bit. He could tell he would be able to love this boy easily, but he would never admit that. Instead he took a sharp breath and stared back down at his food, not saying anything for a few minutes. He could feel their eyes on him, and he took a few slow breaths. He felt a hand cover his suddenly, a simple, kind gesture. He glanced up and saw Minho, his eyes understanding and kind. Jonghyun nodded a bit, and took a deep breath.
"My mom was hit by a car when I was thirteen." Jonghyun said. "And my dad was never around. I don't know who he is, or if he died. I don't know if my mother loved him, or married him, or..."
"You've been alone since you were thirteen?" Taemin jumped in. Key shot him a look and he fell silent, but Jonghyun had already pulled his hand from Minho's and folded them in his lap.
"Yeah." Jonghyun admitted. "I haven't been to school in a long time. And I haven't had friends."
"Or food?" Minho said suddenly, surprising Jonghyun and Key, who's sharp gaze was now on the tallest boy at the table.
"What?" Jonghyun asked.
"You're very small, and you eat like a bird." Minho said. "So I figure, you must not have had a lot of food."
"Aniyo. I didn't." Jonghyun said. He'd eaten as much as he could, but when he looked around, the rest of them had either completely finished their food, or had left maybe a small mouthful. Jonghyun had eaten only about an eighth of the food on his plate, but he couldn't make himself eat more. "I had to save my food. And be very careful."
"You can't save your food here. They get mad if you sneak food into your room." Taemin said with a pout. Jonghyun looked up, alarmed.
"They'll feed you again tomorrow. Breakfast, and a snack, and lunch, and a snack, then dinner, and another snack." Minho explained. Jonghyun stared at Minho for a few seconds, letting his words sink in. Then felt his stomach roll, and he thought he might be sick. He covered his mouth with his hand to try to hold it in. "Omo! Please, don't be upset."
"I just..I don't feel well, suddenly." Jonghyun said, getting up and running back to his room.
When he got there, he pulled his things down from his bed. He wanted to run, but tonight wasn't the night, so he changed into his ratty old sleep pants and climbed up onto the bed before he could scare himself. The bed was already made, and he plunged himself under the covers, reaching out shyly to touch the guard rails on each side, and trying to convince himself he wouldn't fall. He was a short boy, and he was naturally closer to the ground than most. He felt things were this way for a reason. He didn't like being high up, but he stuffed his fears away and burried his face in the pillow, and forced himself into a light, stressed sleep.
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