Chapter 2

“So, how are you today?” Sungmin’s voice echoed as he went into my room. I felt better, well, I still don’t remember a thing, but at least the pain on my head had lessened; thanks to Kyuhyun. I answered his question and began my day with a smile. That’s when I realized the figure that was in a deep sleep, right beside me.

“Omoo, am I disturbing something?” Sungmin asked. I shook my head I said,” Shouldn’t we have our session now?”

“Oh, yes…But what about him?” Sungmin asked regarding the fact that Jaejoong was asleep on my bed side. I didn’t know why, I couldn’t feel at case whenever he’s near me, like I was dragging into him; like he’s spelling me with his magic. I…didn’t like it.

I asked Jaejoong, who he was exactly to me. He just simply smiled and said that I’d remember him, but what happened if I didn’t remember? What would happen if I never got my memory back? My heart could feel…pain when I near him, I didn’t know why. It…hurt.

“It’s OK,” I said as I followed Sungmin. He asked me whether I wanted to use the wheelchair or not, I didn’t want to use it, I wanted to walk, I said. And so we walked to Sungmin’s room, the white room that I was taken every day, since last week, the day I woke up and found out I had lost my memory.

We went in as he offered me some healthy drink, I said I’m okay. And so the session began, for about two hours every day, he talked to me about my memory lost. He asked some question but I still couldn’t remember.

“Hm, Yunho,” he called me like I told him too, I didn’t like being called ‘Mr.Jung’,” I know this’s hard time for you, but…I won’t give up to bring your memory back, that’s why you must promise me that you won’t give up too.”

“Yeah,” I nodded easily, I didn’t know why, I just felt relaxed whenever I was with him. Sometime I wished this therapy session could last longer, I just felt at case with him. Maybe because he’s the only person I knew, I mean like my friend, after I lost my memory. It’s not like I didn’t like my friends from the time before I lost my memory. But whenever I was with them I felt like I must recover, I didn’t like being the one who didn’t remember.

We talked and laughed together, this didn’t seem like a session, this was just fun.

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“Ehm? Yunnie?” Jae opened his eyes, he searched for me, but he didn’t find any trace of mine. He looked into the bathroom and it’s empty. Empty! He stormed like a crazy man out to the nurse desk.

“Yunho is gone!” he declared to the nurse, but then one of the nurses told him I was having my session. Then, the man calmed down, he went back to my room, waiting for me. The last few days, he had been doing all of this stuff. He didn’t want to leave me for even a minute, he said, he wanted to be near me.

I couldn’t just tell him to go away, even though I didn’t feel totally fine that he’s there. Like I told you, I didn’t feel right beside him. My feeling was mixed up.

“Yunnie…” he called my name as he sat on the chair next to my empty hospital bed. I just found out that I had been in coma for almost one year and that’s a huge shock for me. I meant, what would happen if I never wake up?

OK, leave that crazy question. The fact was that I woke up and I was trying to find my memory back, maybe that’d explain why I felt strange near him. Maybe…

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“OK, that’s for today,” Sungmin smiled as he ended our session. Somehow I didn’t like it ended.

“Sungmin, do you another patient after this?” I asked. The man shook his head as he asked what’s wrong. I simply said,” Let’s have lunch at the cafeteria…”

The man stared at me blankly, I couldn’t get what’s on his mind, but then he said,” OK…”

So, we got out from his office, and took the lift to cafeteria. I was surprised to see the menu, I meant I had been eating hospital healthy food till I fed up. This was fantastic! There’re even hotdog and pizza and…

“How about this? This is my favourite…” he asked as he pointed to a small box. Bunch of small meat and rice with delicious sauce were inside it. I could smell the aroma and well, I kind of love it. And so the man ordered two, one for him and one for me. He told me to go sit first; I did as he told me to.

I went into the empty seat and sit as a smile carved on my face. Wait a minute, why did I smile? I couldn’t figure it out. I decided to ignore it and waited for Sungmin. 

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“Where could he be?” Jae mumbled as he’s wondering where his love was. It’s past 12 o’clock, the session should have over. Feeling his own stomach started to growl, Jae decided that he should eat first, but what if his love went back when he’s having lunch. No, he would wait, he would wait for his Yunnie.

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“Ta da~” Sungmin cheered as he opened the box,” It looks cute~”

Somehow I chuckled when he said that, the one that cute was him. Wait a minute what was I thinking? Yaaa! Stop thinking stupid things Jung Yunho! I screamed in my head. Something wasn’t right or so I thought.

“Let’s eat, shall we?” I asked as he nodded just like a little child.

We began to taste the delicious lunch, it’s just perfect, the taste and everything. When I was having lunch, usually Jaejoong was there beside me, he would tell me to finish everything I ate, he’s such bossy, sometime I thought. But today I went to have lunch with Sungmin, and…

Wait…

Jaejoong!!!

I finally realized the man must be waiting for me. Every day after my session, Jae would meet me at my room, waiting for me and he would feed me, well, I rather ate by myself, but. OK, that’s not the point. The point was I needed to get back to my room; I couldn’t let him wait like this right? While I was having my lunch…I meant I should tell him at least.

“What’s wrong Yunho?” Sungmin asked when he realized I stopped eating. 

“Um, nothing, it’s just…I need to go back to my room for something,” I said.

“But we haven’t finished eating,” he said.

“Well…but Jae is waiting for me…” I said.

“Hm, how about call him?” Sungmin suggested. Yes, that’s right! I got Jae’s and my entire friend’s number on my phone. And so I called him.

[Hello? Yunnie? Is something wrong?] 

“No, it’s fine. Hmm, Jae, you haven’t gone home since yesterday, I think you should take some rest today,” I said.

[I’m fine. Where are you? It’s time to take your lunch…]

“Oh yeah about that, I’ll eat later, don’t wait for me OK? Just go home and get some rest,” I said.

[…Are you sure?]

“Yes, I’ll be fine,” I ensured him. And then, I closed the line. I smiled at Sungmin and we continued to eat.

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“Hmm…” Jae sighed as he went down the elevator. He didn’t want to leave but then, he was told to. He couldn’t refuse. Deciding to fill his stomach first, Jae went into cafeteria direction. He opened the door and then he ordered his favorite menu, the meatball bentou.

After that he’s about to pay for it, but then Jae realized something. He saw a figure there, smiling and chatting happily with someone. He couldn’t help but to feel jealous, he told that he’d take away the food. And as soon as he done paying, he ran out from the cafeteria. Everything just messed up.

He ran like a crazy man to his car, he felt like crying, but he succeeded to bind his tears. That’s when he bumped into someone. The bentou was thrown into the floor and spilled.

“I’m sorry!” Jae could hear another man apologized, but he could care less. He left the bentou there as he got up and rushed to his car.

“…Jaejoong?” the man called, but Jae already disappeared into thin air.

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“Ouch…” I hissed.

“What’s wrong?” Sungmin asked.

“Nothing, it just I bite my tongue…” I said. He ended up chuckling and I was kind of embarrassed. I felt like a small child. But then, he came closer to me, I couldn’t move; my body just froze.

“You eat like a kid,” he said as he took rice on my face, I became red in that moment. 

“Wha…what’s this menu called?” I asked, trying to change the topic.

“The one we eat now? It’s called meatball bentou,” he smiled. For the first time after I lost my memory I felt like it didn’t matter if I couldn’t remember. Maybe because I had found something new to be protected, I didn’t know why, but being with him like this just kept me calm and at case.

I didn’t realize that the next move I was about to take might hurt the other people I care of; I was too blind to see and too lost to realize.