“What?!” I shouted and he just stared at me.

“Are you really this tough or are you just pretending?”  he asked.

“This is who I am…take it or leave it…you’ll either hate me or  love me…I have a strong personality which isn’t necessarily good or bad…I really don’t mind what people think of me in the first place….I really only care about the people in my life…and I think you’re not one of those people” I answered and he pulled me close to him.

“What are you doing?! Let go of me!” I shouted while struggling for him to let go of my arm.

“I don’t believe you…I really have a feeling that you’re soft inside and you have a big heart” he said and I looked away.

I don’t know why he’s saying all of this to me. I am so shocked with this sudden confrontation and my heart is beating so fast. He’s doing it again, he’s making me feel like I can do nothing to him and I can’t even fight back.

“Let go now…your grip’s too tight…it’s hurting me” I told him and he let go.

“Listen rude guy…if you touch me again…I will seriously slam your face into the wall” I threatened and he smirked.

“You really can do that?” he asked.

“I can…trust me…I can” I told him and threw my cigarette in front of him and walked out.

I’m so pissed out right now and all I want to do is go to my room and just sleep. I don’t want to see that rude guy’s face again coz I might do something to him that he will not really like.

“Where are you going?” Charles asked when he saw me walking out of the dinner hall.

“I’m gonna rest already” I told him.

“But all of us are still here…I thought you’re having a blast? Why is it all of a sudden you’re mood changed?” he asked and I saw the rude guy enter the room again.

“Is it because of Jiyong?” Charles asked and he was looking at the rude guy as well.

“No…I’m just really tired…plus…I’m already a bit drunk” I said and he sighed.

“I’ll bring you to your room” he said.

“No I’m fine…you just stay here and have fun” I said.

“You sure?” he asked. 

“Yeah” I answered and walked out of the room.

The moment I entered my room, I punched a pillow to release my bad feelings and it didn’t even help. Why do I feel like I’m not feeling anger, I feel like I want something but then I’m brushing it off or denying it and now it’s already struggling to be free. No! This can’t be!

“Clarise…you have to go back to the real you…this is not you…you can’t let your heart fool you again…you can’t trust anybody...you can’t” I whispered to myself while looking in the mirror.

“Oh ! This is really irritating me!” I shouted.

I don’t know what’s happening to me, why all of a sudden I’m this soft little that whenever that rude guy talks to me I feel like I’m melting, that every time he looks at me, I feel like a stone and my heart is beating so fast. I know that this is not the normal me and I will not bend what I believe in just because that freakin rude guy is shaking everything.

I was just staring at the ceiling for I don’t know how long. My thoughts are so scattered and I’m thinking randomly. What if Trish and Charles are true? What if I am really into him? What will I do? I don’t want to be a serious coz that’s not my nature, I’m not ready for any relationships, I’m born to play around not to stick around.

My thoughts were disturbed when I heard a knock on my door and I just stared at it for a minute. I dragged myself up to see who it was.

“Why are you here?” I asked.

“I actually don’t know…my feet brought me here” he said and I smirked.

“Well then…tell your feet to bring you somewhere else…far away from me” I said and he chuckled.

“I just want to talk…I don’t know why I’m doing this but I just want to know you” he said and I looked at him in shock.

This rude guy is totally weird and freaky. He wants to know me? Why?

“You know what…it’s late…and I have a feeling that you’re drunk…so go to your room and rest” I told him.

“I didn’t even drink even one glass of champagne” he said and I sighed.

“I don’t care…just go back to your room” I said and he pushed me inside my room and pinned me to the wall.

Oh hell! I don’t know what in the world is he thinking and I really have a feeling that this would go to something we will both regret in the end.

“You know what? You’re really one heck of a guy…what do you want from me?” I asked.

“I don’t know” he answered.

“Fine...let’s stay in this position for as long as you want…stare at me for as long as you want and I will never give a damn” I told him and after that, he hugged me so tight.

Oh my gosh! What’s happening? This is really not good!

“What are you….let me go!” I shouted.

“I like you” he said while looking at my eyes.

“What?” I asked.

“I like you…I don’t know what you did to me but I just felt it…I guess this is because you’re the only girl who can do rude things to me and who can say hurtful words to me..who can fight back…no one’s ever done that before” he said and I looked away.

What will I do? I think I don’t have to go on with my plan of making him fall in love with me anymore coz he himself already likes me. I’m just a few steps away from winning our deal.

“OK…now that you’ve said it…I don’t know if it’s true or not…you can go now…thank you for being honest…I’m so moved” I told him.

“You’re still going to be tough till the end? OK…at least I’ve voiced my feelings out…maybe this is just a short time thing…just forget what I told you” he said and I nod.

“Fine! I’m gonna say the same thing actually” I said and he was about to walk off.

“Wait” I said.

What am I doing? What is going on with me? Why is my heart telling me not to let him go?

“What?” he asked.

I don’t know what happened but I just found myself pulling him close to me and kissing him. He locked the door without breaking our kiss and led me to my bed. This is going to be so wrong and I know this is going to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

I’ve done this with a few guys before but this is totally different from all of them. I don’t feel like we’re doing it just for pleasure but we’re actually telling each other what we feel and it is really magical for me. Every inch of my body feels so happy in every touch and I can’t seem to stop myself from this wrong deed. The countless times where he looked at me straight into my eyes, I feel like he’s giving me his soul and he’s giving me all the love that he can give.