Jessica woke up abruptly by the alarm but feeling more shock by the dream she had.

Why did i dream our encounter before debut? That had happened more than 10 years back but it felt just like yesterday. That day was when we were given schedules and preparing for debut. It was also the day where we unnies witness maknae’s tears for the first time. It was too heart wrenching.

Although we have all been training together in a big group, we weren’t exactly close with everyone. Each of us had our own small group that we hang out with. Like Hyo, Soo and myself because we had known each other for the longest time. Fany is like a social butterfly, she makes friends easily but the ones she is closer to is Taeyeon because they were roommates. Yuri used to hang out with us but now that she found her “other half” twin, Yoona, they hang out together more often, being the pranksters and all. Sunny joined us the last but we do get along quite well too but because of her identity, she tries to keep low profile. We have told her many times that it didn’t bother us who her uncle is. Hyunnie, despite us telling her to be comfortable around us, she still speaks to us formally. I still remember initially she only says one-word syllabus, “Ne, Aniyo” Even with Yoona whom she traveled together because their houses are in the same direction, she also refused to speak banmal. It was only until Hwanhee join us, then we saw a different Hyunnie. She starts to speak more, behaving more like her age. It amaze us because we get to see a bit of her playful side as well.

That day, maknae cried so hard. She was torn between feeling elated that she is finally one step closer to her dream but at the same time, she felt like she had abandon her friend. The one that stood by her side all this while. It was also that day that we unnies vowed to not let her shed tears like that again, no matter what it takes.

While reminiscing about the past, her body has already worked on its own. Making coffee, turning on the television and she was seated on her sofa. Her heart was still feeling the warmth from the dream, from them. Her sisters that was her family, her pillar of support for those 10 over years since trainee years.

“Many Hallyu stars flew back to attend Shinee’s Jonghyun memorial.. including SNSD’s Taeyeon and Yoona…” her attention was brought to the television upon hearing the familiar names. She saw the video footage of Taeyeon, Yoona and Hyoyeon. They looked pale and the eyes were red from the obvious crying. At that moment, her heart that was swelled with warmth earlier had a pang of pain, seeing them like that felt like a part of her had died.

The truth starts to sink in, Jonghyun had gone. A dongseng, a friend that she knew for many years, a young star with bright future. Although she is the ice princess, but they had many fun moments of the years of SMTown concert that gathers every group in SM Ent. All those events and encounters shared, flashed before her eyes like a film. In face of death, her pride, the misunderstandings and every other issues seem to pale in comparison. Without much contemplation, she picks up the phone and call her manager.

“Oppa, book me the earliest flight to Seoul.”