“Now what?”

Everyone have been avoiding me. I know, I always know.

But I didn’t have the energy to chase them, I was feeling drained emotionally and physically. It felt as if this album was taking everything I have, every time I start the recording of a new song or the mixing process or every time I review a final version it felt like when I started writing each one of them. The feeling was consuming, I felt exposed and vulnerable.

It has been a week since my last encounter with my friends, and I knew they were close. I have heard the staff talk about how Seunghyun have been having meetings for a new movie or Daesung rehearsing for a new musical, once I caught them talking about the great recording session they had with Youngbae.

And that was what spark my curiosity. Youngbae doesn’t hold grudges, so even if I was the most selfish and horrible human being he will forgive me and look for me, even if I was the one that was supposed to do it. The fact that he was in our workplace and haven’t meet me mean something.

So I waited, I started wandering outside the recording studio he was assigned. Lunch time was approaching so I just needed to wait a little longer before all the staff started to leave to the cafeteria, and the time came, but no one got out from that particular room.

I started to suspect if Youngbae was really in there, so I reach the door, open it and the laugh I heard didn’t belong to my best friend.

That noisy, obnoxious, hyena laugh belonged to no one but Seungri, the pretty, cheerful, energetic maknae.

“What are you doing here?” My mouth was moving before I knew it, Youngbae and Seungri were looking at me as if I was an alien. “What?, Can’t I be here?” and it keep moving.

“Jiyongie…”

“I work here… unlike him” why was I acting like that? My mouth keep moving on its own and I was sounding upset and hostile.

“Jiyong, what’s wrong with you? I can’t reply if you keep talking and giving yourself the answers.”

“Leave him hyung… He is right, I don’t work here.” He said it with such severity that I felt exposed, as if I was committing some kind of sin. “Don’t worry, I was leaving.”

And he leave, he gave Youngbae a hug and a significant look, passed by me and leave the room. There were some seconds