JangLi sighed deeply when she made her way upstairs towards JaeJoong's bedroom. It was Saturday morning and she tried once again to get JaeJoong to eat something. She had success just once a day when lunch was about to come. Next to that JaeJoong always refused, worrying his mother to the core, and spent most of the day inside of his room.

JaeJoong grew paler and thinner over the weeks he was separated from YunHo ever since Jung HaeWon had found out about them and brought back the worries JaeJoong had felt before he had gotten together with YunHo. His love for YunHo had been strong enough to push away the sorrowful feelings and thoughts but with just some simple sentences HaeWon had succeeded in bringing them back and had caused him to turn away from his love.

“JaeJoongie?” JangLi asked softly when she entered the room, just to find it empty. It was then that she noticed the figure wrapped in a blanket that was sitting against the glass door on the balcony. It was snowing slightly, the white flakes swaying down onto the earth in a quiet dance.

“Jae, breakfast is ready,” JangLi said softly when she slid the glass door open, the cold breeze that went past her into the warm room of her son letting her shiver.

“I'm not hungry,” came the muffled soft reply from JaeJoong who stared blankly with sad and puffy eyes at the greyish-blue sky and the single white snow crystals swaying through the cold air. A new trail of tears was streaming down JaeJoong's reddened cheeks when he felt his mother next to him, wrapping her arm around his shoulder and pressing him against her. She kissed the top of his head softly, embracing him tight to her heart while tears were coming out of JaeJoong's eyes.

“I miss him,” JaeJoong mumbled into the embrace of his mother, holding tight onto her as he spilled his tears freely.

“I know, baby, I know. I miss him, too,” JangLi replied with a soft voice, her sadness audible when she held the trembling form of her son tightly. Minutes went by filled with JaeJoong's sobs and hiccuping before both calmed down a bit.

“Come in, Jae. Your face is freezing,” JangLi spoke softly with a gentle smile when she wiped JaeJoong's spilled tears away. It earned her a soft nod before both were heading back inside to the warmth of their home.

JaeJoong was zapping lifelessly through the channels, staring blankly at the screen of the television in the living room with his chin resting on his knees that were pulled against his chest. JangLi was inside of the kitchen, preparing their lunch which she was sure JaeJoong would eat, even if it might be just a little bit.

“Jae honey, the pancakes are done,” she called out when she hovered the last out of the frying pan onto JaeJoong's plate.

JaeJoong shuffled slowly into the kitchen, letting himself sink onto his chair with a deep sigh. He eyed the brownish-golden round pastry, poking with his fork unmotivated into the dough while his mother was filling his glass with apple juice.

“I could stay here, if you want. I don't need to go,” JangLi said with worry in her eyes, pondering about to stay rather at home than visiting her friends which had been planned for some weeks already.

“It's okay,” JaeJoong mumbled after he had swallowed the little bite of his pancake. He poked into his pancake a few minutes more until he stood up and went back to his earlier task: staring at the screen of the television. JangLi sighed deeply when she cleaned off the dining table and threw away the remains of JaeJoong's now cold pancake. JaeJoong had eaten just a quarter of it. Well, at least he ate a little bit more than in the last few days.

It was just a few hours later that JangLi made herself ready for leaving. She felt a little uneasy to leave JaeJoong alone but she had promised her friends to come to their engagement party and also wanted to stay there for maybe five or six hours.

“Jae, I'm going now,” she said once she was fully dressed. It earned her a soft nod from JaeJoong who was staring at a picture of him and YunHo in his hands.

“Are you sure I shan't stay here?” JangLi asked when she sat down next to her sulking son onto the sofa who slowly looked at her.

“It's okay,” JaeJoong mumbled and smiled weakly at his mother. “I'll be fine,” he assured ever so softly, his eyes glistening with the tears he tried to hold back over the time he had been staring at the picture of him and YunHo and had been thinking back to the days they could spend together.

“If you say so,” Jangli sighed deeply, kissing the top of JaeJoong's head lovingly  before she stood up and walked to the door. “I'll be back before midnight,” she said with a soft smile when she left the house, waving goodbye to JaeJoong who was now standing in the hallway.

Once the wooden barrier clicked shut, a deep sigh echoed through the big house. JaeJoong shuffled slowly with heavy steps towards his bedroom, his thoughts always circling around YunHo. He leaned against the door of his bedroom after he had closed it behind him, getting hold of the picture of him and YunHo kissing in the sunset that had been in the back-pocket of his jeans.

Tears were slowly streaming down his cheeks when he stared at YunHo, the memory of their kiss as clear as if it had happened just yesterday.

The roaring of the sea was accompanied by the screams of the seagulls, a gentle breeze brushing through JaeJoong's black hair while the sun was slowly setting. His eyes were locked with YunHo's brown orbs, their pupils wandering from left to right and vice versa before YunHo leaned slowly in.

JaeJoong closed his eyes when he felt YunHo's warm lips on top of his own, his arms slowly snaking around YunHo's neck when YunHo gently pulled him closer.

Their embrace tightened when YunHo's tongue sought for entrance which JaeJoong obliged to willingly. He parted his lips slightly, welcoming the tongue of YunHo inside of his mouth with his own. His fingers were buried deep in the brown locks of YunHo's hair, soft mewling noises captured in between their locked lips when their tongues were dancing wildly with one another.

JaeJoong felt heat rising inside of him, emanating from his tummy and running through his every nerve. He was excited beyond words and could feel that YunHo felt the same. The heat took away their breaths even more than the kiss had done beforehand until they had to break apart to gain new breath. YunHo's hands had wandered down, and JaeJoong noticed just now that they were resting on his . A deep shade of red coloured his cheeks when he stared into YunHo's eyes, their foreheads pressed together. A smug smile lay on YunHo's lips which caused JaeJoong to smile shyly.

Droplets of tears were falling onto the picture, JaeJoong sobbing loudly as he crouched on the ground against his door. His heart was aching enormously, crying out the pain it endured because of being separated from YunHo and yearning desperately for the feeling of YunHo's arms wrapped around the fragile figure it was resting in.

“Why? Why me,” JaeJoong mumbled between his sobs like he always did ever since he had to let go of YunHo. He hated himself for being so weak, too weak to hold onto YunHo and to try to protect what they had. His yearning to be again close to YunHo had once been so strong that he wanted to just run into YunHo's arms, but the fear of causing YunHo more problems with his mother was too strong that he had stopped in his tracks before YunHo could have even noticed him.

“YunYun, why are you failing me,” he sniffed once he sat on his bed, his back resting against the cold surface of his wall. He snuggled his teary face into the softness of his stuffed tiger, dampening it with his salty tears.

“It will take away your tears so that you can smile again,” YunHo said with a smile, shoving the small-sized tiger into JaeJoong's arms.

“Smile,” JaeJoong choked out when he thought back to the day YunHo had given him his stuffed treasure. He eyed his small tiger, gently grazing with his fingers over the furry face as the tears didn't stop from falling.

“How can I smile” he mumbled, his voice breaking and eyes blurry when a weak smile scurried over his lips, “when you're not there,” he cried out, burying his face deeper into the soft tummy of his small-sized tiger when flashes of YunHo's shining smile were appearing inside of his mind.

A soft noise startled him, a fragile knock resounding through his room that was filled with sobs and sniffing. He slowly lifted his head from his stuffed hideout and slowly looked at his marble balcony, the direction the soft knock had been coming from. His eyes widened, tears spilling even more out of them when they fell onto the figure that was leaning against the glass door of his balcony. It was YunHo, his YunHo, his boyfriend. But was it even right for him to call YunHo his any longer and were they even still boyfriends?

His mind was circling around these insecure thoughts all the time, even when his feet were carrying him towards his balcony of their own accord. JaeJoong's teary eyes never left YunHo's figure wrapped in just a pullover and jeans on his balcony.

His blue eyes locked with the teary pair of YunHo that was staring at him with the same desire to hold the other in his arms that was displayed in his own. A soft knock was audible when JaeJoong touched the glass door with his fingers and placed his hand onto the same place YunHo's left hand was resting against. Both closed their eyes, their tears spilling freely over their cheeks when both leaned against the glassy barrier that kept them from one another.

It was minutes later that JaeJoong ever so slowly and hesitatingly slid the glass door open, letting the cold air of the snowy December night and the one whom his heart belonged to into his room.