Username: Tiffanyisim

Story Title (&link): The Boy Next Door

Main Characters (+pairings): Tiffany, Taeyeon

Genre(s): Romance / Fluff

Current Length (No. of Chapters): Prologue + 8

Rated?: No

Reviewer: KissDromedaGirl

_______________ ✦일번; part one; the beginning. ✦_______________

Title; 3/5

Pretty basic. Obviously it points to Taeyeon, so with that, this story really needs to focus on Tiffany's POV, not Taeyeon's. As this title suggests she's falling/has fallen for the boy next door and how she is with him. It can also suggest his role in her life. But having the POVs switch (though I enjoy it) would seem odd since we're focusing on how Tiffany feels when Taeyeon moves back. Showing Tae's reaction and own feelings can sometimes give away too much and not leave any curiousity to the situation.

Poster/Background; 3/5

The poster is cute overall, and I like how different it is compared to others. Though seeing the poster characters' faces is kind of a throw off because I think of the fact that isn't the main character; it also shows the two have been together since childhood and are close and obviously in love. Since by now in the story (Chap 8) they are still going in circles and not nearly confessing, I'm waiting out the part where they are actually together. So, the poster throws me off a bit because it seems like this is all centered around their love, when in reality, it focuses on life before and their lives outside of their love.
I still like the styling and the fonts though. It's pretty.

Description & Foreword; 8/10

Description: *She's - second sentence. *and also a pretty face ;
Also for the descriptor of "her next door neighbor-slash-first love," does that mean he was ner neighbor first, too. That's what it appears as. Even though I know later on that he's her on-and-off again neighbor, the description is a bit mind-boggling for me.

Foreword: You had such pretty and concise styling with your description and the end of the foreword, but the tiny dialogue throws it off. Style it similar to the others or with less spacing.
 

_______________ ✦이번; the second part; the seam.✦_______________

Creativity/Originality; 4/5

I'm not a romantic or fluffy type, so I'm picky with these. I think some parts are cute and realistic, whereas some I wouldn't even see in K-dramas. And some parts are definitely generic soap opera types / K-drama types. The romance isn't there as much as the fluff. Romance also plays out better when you set a scene or show the emotions and let it unfold naturally and not so quickly.
I like the creativity you put into this with your scenes, the family structure, the areas of degrees for the characters, and how Tae is a guy. I like seeing these combos I wouldn't think of, and you put a nice spin on it to make it your own, good job! I mention below how I'm confused with Kai's role, because throwing in such an idea shifts things and makes a reader curious about Kai.

Plot; 14/20
This is definitely a romantic (and quite fluffy) plotline. Having Taeyeon as a male is interesting. But I did notice a few things I questioned - specifically plot holes. Overall, I like the idea, and I like seeing them reconnect and I want to see what happens. But it does get a bit bland and predictable. Aside from plot holes, I'd like to see more detail, because you do really well when describing things and putting in emotion, you just have some bad timing with where you put it.

Plot Holes:
1) If the Hwangs lived next to the Kims for so long and constantly moved back and forth, their kids are close, the moms would presumably be, too, honestly. So, why do they act like - after all these years - that they know nothing about each other's families.
2) Why is Kai a Prince? Where is he a Prince? You can't add that in and not elaborate or have it connect because that's a pretty interesting and unexpected plotline. Even if it's a side.
3) If Nickhun and Taeyeon are friends, why don't they hang out or text?
4) Why are Taeyeon and Tiffany so awkward for long-time pals?

I'm looking forward to what may come because you have some great ideas for this, but you tend to outline them more than fill them in.

Spelling, Vocab, and Grammar; 8/15

I see a lot of mistakes, mainly in the grammatical field. I made notes of the first chapter - the Prologue - for you to go over. As I noted there, each tense has had errors for you, so to better than you need to go over tenses and better your understanding. Those are common to make, but it's easy to learn. If you need help, I'm here. ^^

There are also terms that don't make sense, as they have grammatical errors. "hug-as-he-hops-in-of-the-car" is an example. "In of" makes no sense, therefore you'd say he hops 'in to' the car.