Username: Cherry333

Story Title (&link): Autumn's Daisy

Main Characters (+pairings): BTS + OC

Genre(s): Romance, Gang

Current Length (No. of Chapters): 10

Rated?: Yes

Reviewer: KissDromedaGirl

_______________ ✦일번; part one; the beginning. ✦_______________

Title; 5/5

I was first thinking of how Autumn's daisy made me think: daisies would be like a strange light in the dreary, yet beautiful thing that is autumn. And I was glad when you finally revealed how you got the story name (even if it was chapter 10, because that was a good point and moment.) The title - in my opinion - is better fit compared to anything relating to gangs and BTS (no offense to people out there.) Plus since this fic is about Mei and that actually does describe her in a unique way, I like it.

Poster/Background;5/5

I love how pretty and dark the poster is! I would honestly put it as a background. Which means I adore it. Speaking of which, I now adore that designer. I love all the posters and the vibes they give off.

Description & Foreword; 7/10

Simple. I like the mention of her job and how the descr. screams 'dark and depressing' in a way.
And of course, the last sentence is our draw-in point.
In comparison, I definitely didn't realize how good this story would be, especially leading in to it with the basic line of how they changed her life... I don't think you could put anything else, however, because that might be too much.

It's actually refreshing to have a (half) Japanese character mixed in.
I think the roster of characters is okay. It's giving off some details to look forward to and may help if anyone's confused by all of them. [Side note: I wrote this a couple chapters in and now laugh because there's actually a lot of characters--]

Also, nice job by adding in warnings, because I like seeing those with rated fics.
You did note on chap 10 about if you should make the fic completely M or just the chapters; I would just leave the warnings, because at least you have warnings. If you didn't want to warn every chapter, then you could make use of the labels to restrict. You could still do that, but this was just an input.

_______________ ✦이번; the second part; the seam.✦_______________

Creativity/Originality; 5/5

The comments. From Eunhyuk, to Heechul, to the teachers. I like your wit. And it goes with the story's atmosphere, too. This whole fic's sense of humor was on point and I rather enjoyed it, even the vulgar aspects. Especially the vulgar ones, probably.
Making Suga want half of her salary was a nice little twist, honestly. At first, it made it seem like he wanted something "strange" as Mei put it (obviously), but I liked this.
And actually describing the fight scene down to the cracking of bones and the tastes of blood and then Suga questioning if she was with his dead ex... It's so much better than just dismissing important details.

I can say I didn't know whether or not I'd enjoy this as I haven't read any good gang-related fics in years, so I was nervous. But you made complex characters, good dialogue, have tremendously well-done descriptions of everything, and make such realistic scenes even when some get dramatic... I'm impressed. Even tiny details that play into charas fit so seemlessly... I'm pretty sure if you changed names and could get away with it, you could sell this as an original and no one would notice it was a fic.

Plot; 20/20

This is in relation to the plot: Explaining, in a simplified manner, the reason why she had to work there compared to another part-time job made me sigh in relief. Surprisingly, not everyone explains, especially early on, and I figured this was why, but I had to note that it made me happy where you chose to place it and how.

On to the plot itself:
Alrighty. To me, this has a bunch of points aside from Mei getting mixed into BTS. And I love that you can still make everything relevant and relate without making some giant mess. You're steadily revealing things and have so much detail put in to it... This feels like a longer story and I'm excited to see what all is in store for this. Because I literally have no idea. Which is a thrill! I can usually predict things...

Spelling, Vocab, and Grammar; 14/15

I'd space out (as in [enter]) possibly between the time elapses that happen; you use this format consistently, so it's correct compared to rewording. But I feel there could be more [enter] spaces present to separate the paras a bit.
You had some grammar issues; as in run-ons.
I noticed you use "!?" a lot. It's not a bad thing, per se, just using them one after the other in some cases is a bit much. Since you're descriptive as it is, I'm sure you could use details to describe the tone just as well.
You mentioned in one note that dialogue is a bit of a nightmare for you. I'm descriptive, too, so for me I learned that adding tones and putting my own spin on how to show what they say helped. To me, you're doing that well already, so I wouldn't worry. If you ever get antsy because you need/have a lot of dialogue, either go simple, or go into detail with filler. But if you are doing a bunch of interactions, try to have some filler detail in there at some point.
Here's the revision notes I gathered.

Other than these, I'd like to (for the thousandth time in this review) commend you on your description and writing skills. I can tell you favor some words more than others and some types of responses, but all writers do. I'm just enjoying the amount of effort and words you actually put in to this.

Characterization; 13/15

Mei: Mei punching Jungkook then feeling guilt because she never hurts people was a good display of character. And her realizing her mistake is a clear show of how easily we can be muddled when angry.
Having Mei constantly input ideas of how Suga relates to the Devil and brings in hints of religion is interesting. It does fit with the "innocent" and "dull" vibe you try to have her as, because isn't religion draped in innocence?
And digging into her thoughts regarding how she defines "mature" and how she feels so endebted to her friends to ask for money, how she reacts to those situations cause for character change, and even if it is small, I feel that BTS's involveme