Time's Up

"I'll tell my mind, convince it, tell it I don't need you, I don't." -Kithara

They met on a rainy Sunday afternoon; not really the ideal and dreamy meeting of soulmates. In a small cafe downtown the large city of Seoul, Irene met a woman an inch shorter than her, with blonde locks and glasses. She remembered that day clearly. Wendy was wearing a black turtleneck, hair cascading down her shoulders as she read a book in the corner of Irene's favorite hangout place.

They started talking the moment Irene had shyly asked her if she could sit because at that time no seats were available. Wendy had immediately agreed, her smile bright and inviting. Then Irene found out that the woman had speech deficiency. For three months, they started seeing each other and continued in the same cafe. Wendy turned out to be majoring in music at a nearby university from Irene's workplace.

It was seven months afterwards when Wendy had called her up and asked her to attend a concert held in her university where she was going to be the last performer. It was in the dead of the night, with hushed cries and a sleepy atmosphere when Wendy stepped up to the platform. Irene had just arrived, looking apologetically at the woman on stage, who seemed to be looking at her. When their eyes met, Wendy's own ones lit up.

It was that same evening when Irene fell for her completely.

 

A week after that, they started seeing each other.

And it was in June when Irene started feeling the spark dying. They had argued about how Wendy had been called to come back to Toronto, Canada where she would have to shift majors and enter Business, by her late father's wishes. "I'm not saying you should choose me, heck, I shouldn't even be a choice! But why does it have to be Toronto?" Irene had argued weakly, her heart trying not to break. Wendy had looked weary and stressed at that time.

"My family is there, Joohyun. An-And we can still skype-We could still make things work."

"I know we can, Seungwan! But I can't-I need you here." Irene replied.

That night, they held each other so tightly that it was as if they were never going to let each other go. Knowing that the morning after, Irene would have to wake up, cold and comforted by her blankets alone.

/

Keeping a long-distance relationship was never easy.

When Wendy had arrived, she had immediately called Irene. Everyday, they did. Everyday, they missed each other. Irene would be awake when Wendy was sleeping. Irene would be having her breakfast while Wendy was having her dinner. They didn't just missed each other. They kept missing each other. It was a snowy morning in the middle of December when suddenly,

they stopped talking altogether.

Irene understood. Wendy must have been busy. She must have been trying to focus on her studies. Irene understood.

It was hard.

Wendy would tell her why soon.

Irene didn't give up. She still mailed letters when Wendy stopped going online on her social media accounts.

/

It was a year and a half when Irene got the message.

And she got a literal message.

It was after her routine of crying early in the morning when she opened her Facebook account to see a message from her. From the person who made her heart beat erratically, made her feel a current running down her spine every time they touched. The person who kissed her good night and good morning. The person who whispered words of love to her until she fell asleep. The one who made her feel like she already had the world in the palm of her hands had finally contacted her.

I'm back in Korea. Meet me in the cafe where we met.

Irene had quickly freshened up, nervous and anxious of the meeting with her girlfriend(Was she still her girlfriend?) A year later.

When she had drove there, she found her. With the same blonde locks and glasses. The same outfit she wore when they first met. A caramel macchiato besides her, and a closed book. Irene opened to call her, but she didn't know what to say.

How are you?

Wendy.

Seungwan?

But Wendy saw her first. Her eyes didn't lit up. It wasn't the same as before that when they saw each other, their eyes would. As if they were the only people left in the whole world.

The clock continues to tick in the corner of the room, like a dynamite about to explode but in a way that their time is almost up.

Wendy and Irene sat on opposite sides, staring blankly at each other, tuning out the bustling crowd in the cafe. Wendy pushed her glasses back to the brink of her nose, brown eyes lifeless and dim. Irene mirrors her expression, though her face was cold, her eyes told the younger how hurt she was. How desperate she was.

Ten minutes.

"You came back." Irene pursed her quivering lips, hiding her trembling hands under the table. Wendy smiled gently and comfortingly as if she didn't do anything wrong. As if she wasn't to be blamed. As if nothing happened. It filled Irene with hate; her stomach grumbling as if she was about to vomit all the love out of her system. "You-You look f-f-fine." Wendy stuttered just like a year ago.

Irene didn't mind.

She never did.

Eight.

"I look fine." 'But I'm not. I'm dying inside.' Wendy could tell from Irene's voice that driped of sarcasm. "Why?" The older croaked. She blinked, trying to stop the glistening tears. She never cried even when Wendy left. She was strong. But now, she wasn't so sure. Seeing the person who mended her heart and broke it again, over and over again, trying to divert the conversation, she had had enough.

Wendy should spare her from more pain.

 

Though Wendy is aware how much she had already wounded the older. How the wounds were already too deep to fix.

 

Seven.

It took her a minute to answer.

"S-Si-Simple. I-I-

I never loved y-you."

It was as if someone had dropped an atomic bomb.

The silence was deafening. Irene's eyes widened in shock and was immediately replaced by evident hurt and her body shook from rage. "Y-You...sho-shouldn't have pl-placed your hope i-in me, J-Joohyun." Wendy struggled to talk, trying to keep her words in order.

(The truth was hidden behind shut lids and an aching heart.)

Irene stood abruptly but Wendy didn't even look up, instead, she bowed her head shamefully.

"Look at me." Irene stated firmly, voice hoarse and trembling.

Five.

Wendy didn't.

"Look at me and say that to my face, Seungwan." Irene clenched her fists, voice rising. Wendy could feel the everyone in the cafe looking at them. The once loude noises became distant, replaced by a sea of whispers and murmurs. "I-If you really mean it, Seungwan-" Irene paused, taking a deep breath and trying to calm herself down. "Then you can look me in the eyes without hesitation, and say it."

Three.

Wendy looked up emotionlessly.

Irene's eyes pleaded with her own, a glint of shimmering hope, although small, was still in her eyes. The eyes that Wendy missed looking up to. She still believed in her.

"I never..." Wendy faltered, trying not to stutter.

"I never loved you."

And she shoots the hopes down.

One.

The tears fell. It dripped down Irene's face continuously as she blinks rapidly. Her mind trying to make sense of what just happened, but her heart was already a step ahead, and she feels-

unexplainable sadness.

Wendy only watched. She didn't wipe them away. Not like before.

It hurt.

It hurt so much.

Irene cried.

She cried so much that she had shamelessly sent the whole cafe into silence.

 

Wendy looked back down. She had done it. She broke the person who had the privilege of opening her up. The person she had spent everyday with. The person she had loved so dearly. A year ago.

Was so different from today.

She blamed time. Time made her feelings fade.

No, it wasn't her.

It was time, yes.

(Stop lying.)

Irene's lips trembled. "You..." Her voice was just above a whisper. "You made me feel special. You made me love myself. You made me feel like I deserved love, unlike what I grew up thinking." She laughed bitterly, coming out like a choked cry. "W-When you left, I thought- 'Was it me?' 'Did I drive her away?' And I...I began hating myself more than before. But I believed-I believed that you'd still love me. That your eyes weren't lying." Irene slammed her hands on the table, unafraid of breaking it. Wendy flinched.

"I understood." She breathed softly.

"Love isn't always about sparks. But it's about how we still remember what made us fall in love. But I guess you've forgotten."

Wendy didn't deny it.

Time's up.

She opened to retort, but her voice failed her. This time, karma had indeed taken her revenge.

Irene didn't wait anymore as she took her bag, hastily leaving the cafe with a tear-stained face.

 

And now Wendy understood the feeling of being left behind.

 

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A/N: *Peeks* This was practice. I was trying to write with no plot in mind. LOL

 

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