Your Voice is Poison to My Ears Part 3

 

“Sometimes, there is a need to sacrifice in order to gain what you want.”

 

~.~.~.~

If Irene were to be born again, she would want to grow up as a librarian. The smell of a newly bought book calms her down and she absolutely adored reading. Maybe in another life where the Ocean wasn’t alive and she won’t remember this nightmare, she’d become a dancer or a model. Maybe she’d be a teacher for children.

Irene realized that she wanted to do so many things in life.

The moment Wendy led her inside a bookstore, she felt determined to do what she wanted. The bookstore wasn’t a vintage, old-fashioned library that she had imagined; instead, it was a red, elegant and a royal-like place. The corners of the square shop were decorated with bookshelves with furnished books. As soon as you enter the shop, round, wooden tables would greet you, with smaller bookshelves on them. The colors were dark, acre wood and dimly-lit lights adorned the top of the shelves.

It was like the mini-version of the library from The Beauty and the Beast.

A few people were silently chatting as they sat down while others were busy looking through books in the corner.

Irene could only gape in shock.

Noted. She’ll convince the other Sirens to live here.

Irene would willingly live in the library for the rest of her life. “Joohyun? You look like you’re in love.” Her eyes sparkled as she turned to the voice, which belonged to no other than Wendy Son who brought her here.

I love you. Let me marry you and let’s live together in this place forever.

She took Wendy’s hands in hers and hopes that her expression was conveying what she was saying. Wendy’s lips curled into an amused smile. “You look like you’d marry me because of the library.”

Irene nodded.

Wendy bursts into silent giggles before tugging Irene’s sleeves. “What genre do you like? Romance? Horror? Fiction or nonfiction? History maybe?” Irene’s eyes were still glowing, a large grin on her face.

“…Everything?” Wendy guessed.

No gestures were needed as Irene pulled Wendy and walked through the tall shelves into the deepest parts. Immediately, Irene looked around, her eyes glancing from left to right as she tries to spot books she’d never seen before.

“We’re going to the parts where they keep the old books. Is that what you want?” Wendy furrowed her brows in confusion, her plump lips pouting. Irene nodded vigorously as she gave one of her best and brightest smiles to Wendy.

Little did she know that that made Wendy’s heart race. The younger’s eyes flushed, seeing a different kind of happiness on Irene’s face. I’m glad I brought her here. Wendy watched silently as Irene moved from shelf to shelf.

“Well, I guess I should enjoy myself too.”

Wendy turned to one of the nearby shelves, pulling out a random book. “Oh? It’s classical music.” She frowned slightly, remembering how she was supposed to enroll as a music major this semester but had a change of plan. People have so many plans in their lives; plans that only stays as plans drawn on paper.

She felt a tap on her shoulder and she looked back to see Irene peeking curiously at the book in her hand. “Oh, it’s a classical music book. Do you like classical music, Joohyun? I love it.”

Irene thought for a moment before shrugging as a response. “Did you find anything you like?” The look in her blue eyes made Wendy think that she might buy the whole library. Irene nodded slowly, a mischievous smirk forming on her lips. Wendy only raised a brow.

“You look evil. Do you want to go gather those books? I’ll wait for you.” It seems like Irene was waiting for her answer because she immediately turned her back and almost ran away from Wendy and towards the shelves.

Wendy could only smile at the older woman.

 

~.~.~.~

Wendy went to another part between towering shelves, leaving Irene by herself as she sat in the corner of the bookstore. Above her, was a large sign with the letters in bold: BOOK READING. SILENCE PLEASE.

‘Book Reading though.’ Irene snorted. She wonders whether society will keep improving in the future or fall and another war would start?

Hopefully, she won’t be alive to tell the tale. Living through two wars were mind-breaking and sorrowful after all.

“Hey Joohyun.” Irene was startled when she looked up from reading a history book about North and South Korea. She blinked twice when she saw Wendy and a lazy smile on her face as she carried a stack of books in her hands. Wendy placed them as quietly as she can on the round table. She let out a relaxed sigh before leaning on the table.

“I was in the language section.”

‘What for?’ Irene’s face scrunched up. Wendy fiddled nervously with her thumbs. “I-err…um…I only know three signs that you’ve shown me so I kind of just wanted to learn more about sign language. It’s because I kind of feel burdened because I think you have a lot to say but can’t tell me.”

A shadow passes over Irene’s face. She took some unused and free papers from the counter and as well as a pen.

Don’t be. You’re the only one who bothered to try and understand me.

“O-Oh…Well that’s good to hear.” Her fingers tapped the top of the table in a rhythmic pattern. “So well, I was trying to learn because they have pictures in the book-” Wendy took the second, thick, leather bound book before opening it to some page in the middle.

“-And I felt like an idiot because I was trying to learn but then I wondered why there were so many different sign language books. Then I realized that each country also has their own sign language, right?”

Irene smiled.

At least you found out.

“Yup! So what language are you using? English or Korean?” Although it was only a small thing, Irene was genuinely touched at Wendy’s curiosity and efforts to try and communicate with her.

Will it surprise you that I can do both?

Irene almost let out a giggle seeing Wendy’s eyes almost bulging out of their sockets, opening widely that Irene could probably fit her whole fist there. “Seriously?! You must have a lot of free time!” “Quiet, please!” Ironically, a clerk shot them a dirty look, yelling from the counter. Irene rolled her eyes, and Wendy sent an apologetic look.

Taeyeon was the one who suggested Irene learn sign language in case they go out in public and needed to communicate. She remembered that it was her first year then and she had a hard time learning even the basics. Now she could possibly do any kind of sign language because they had to travel a lot.

But one of Irene’s wishes was to be able to stay permanently in one place and live her whole life there happily doing her laundry and ironing.

And maybe Wendy would be there, waiting for her at home, while Seulgi, Joy, and Yeri lived right next door. Irene could imagine it vividly; a small smile playing on her lips.

Since when did two dates turn into a lifetime together?

“Joohyun? You okay?”

Irene snapped out of her thoughts, a blush creeping its way onto her cheeks as she sees how close Wendy had leaned in. Her eyebrows were furrowed, lips forming an adorable pout. Their faces were only inches apart now. She leaned back, her hand covering her face. “You were spacing out while I was asking a question. Something on your mind?”

Irene only swallowed the lump in .

‘First time. Is it because this is the first time I’m feeling attracted to someone? Crap. Is this how it feels?’ Her heart beating unimaginably fast in her chest, as if it was leaping and doing summersaults.

Irene felt ecstasy just by seeing Wendy looking at her with her chocolate brown eyes that spoke of concern and care.

‘A caring person like Wendy…’ Why did the Ocean have to forbid them from this?

It’s a beautiful feeling.

Sorry, what were you saying?

Wendy carefully examined Irene’s face, trying to make sure that she’s alright. “I was asking if you could speak to me in sign language…Tell me about yourself.” When Irene looked shock, Wendy leaned back on her chair. “It’s okay if you don’t want to…I mean, it’s okay even if I don’t understand, I just want to see you speaking-err, doing it without any interruptions. Tell me. I know almost nothing about you…”

It was the only way Irene could return the favor.

She smiled kindly before raising her hands. What should she tell Wendy?

My name is Bae Joohyun.

But I call myself ‘Irene’ meaning ‘Goddess of peace’ because I want to be person who gives peace to my loved ones.

I am a Siren.

I have three sisters named Seulgi, Joy and Yeri. We serve the Ocean for a hundred years before She releases us. I love ironing and doing laundry. I’m a very good cook too! The Ocean created so many rules and I have obeyed them all until you came along.

Irene pauses, Wendy looking at her in interest and anticipation.

...I broke most of them now…because I would like to spend my life with you, Wendy Son Seungwan; but I think it’s far-fetched.

That was not supposed to end in a sad note.

Wendy smiled fondly at her, unaware of the things that have been said. “That’s amazing. Even if I couldn’t understand anything at all! You’re amazing Joohyun.” If Irene had to list down the reasons of why she decided to spend time with Wendy, the first one would be, ‘Because you don’t look at me like a hungry wolf and your heart is genuine.’

But what did Irene know?

She saw enough to know that Wendy was not a bad person.

“You can do so many things.” Wendy stated, looking like a proud mother. Irene sighed, a lopsided smile on her face.

Do you have anything else you want to know about me?

“Everything. I want to know everything about you.” Wendy gave a cheeky smile, earning a scoff from Irene.

Smooth, aren’t you, Seungwan?

“Not really. Oh, is Joohyun too formal? I was thinking of giving you a nickname but you’re older than me and I think that’d be weird and maybe you’d feel like I’m disrespecting you-But don’t get me wrong! You’re not that old and you’re really pretty! I mean-”

Irene placed her cold finger onto Wendy’s lips to shut her up. A shiver ran down her spine, as she breathed in deeply. Wendy’s lips were soft to the touch. Wendy only stared at Irene blankly, taken aback by the gesture. The younger swallowed, making Irene a little bit happy. Wendy had to stop herself from sweating buckets.

Satisfied by the reaction, Irene retracted her finger back before writing again, under Wendy’s silent but soulful gaze.

Call me anything you want. But one thing you must know is that you’re the only person whom I told my real name. Others call me ‘Irene.’

It took a full minute before Wendy snapped out of her daze and replied, “Hyunnie. I’ll call you Hyunnie. Joohyunnie.”

‘I’ll let that slide because we aren’t living in Korea.’ Irene thought, before nodding in agreement.

“If it’s okay with you, can I ask if you were born mute?”

Irene shook her head.

“I-I’ve read about some people being unable to talk because of a trauma…Is that why?”

Irene nodded. Kind of.

“Oh…then maybe someday…I could um…hear you. I think you’ll really, really, really have a beautiful voice.” The younger’s voice was shy.

Seungwan, I honestly wish that my voice would sound like yours.

“I-I’m flattered.” Wendy chuckled.

They stared at each other in comfortable silence, smiles on their faces. It didn’t seem to leave their lips ever since last night.

Wendy glanced at her wristwatch. “Ah, it’s already evening. We have to go. Do you find any books you like? I’ll buy it for you.” She offered. Irene shook her head, a pitiful look on her face.

‘I’m leaving tonight.’

Wendy seemed to realize this a bit late. “Well, we still have to go home and rest for a bit. I’m taking you somewhere later tonight. It’s a special place to me.” Irene’s blue eyes darkened slightly although she smiled.

‘And afterwards, I’ll have to return to face punishment.’

“Let’s go home.” Wendy whispered, getting up carefully.

Then Irene thought,

‘It won’t be so bad as long as I keep Wendy safe.’

Together, they walked out of the bookstore, hand-in-hand.

~.~.~.~

“Dear, you look better than me.” Tiffany was stunned. As soon as the two came home, Wendy asked Tiffany to do Irene’s make up and pick out her clothes. “I feel a bit offended.” Tiffany said jokingly, making Irene shy away. Tiffany didn’t do much, actually; Irene’s face was already enough. She only put a little bit of here and there and voila, nothing much has changed except for the fact that Irene only glowed brighter than earlier. She had also let the ‘younger’ woman borrow a dress (actually, she can take it because Tiffany lost Irene’s prom dress.) which was a vibrant strapless, black cocktail dress. The lower part of her gown decorated with braided-like butterflies.

Irene only shied away when she saw Tiffany’s intense gaze. “Wendy’s taking you out tonight?” Irene could only nod. Apparently. Tiffany’s face was hardened, which scared the Siren, not until she broke off into a smile.

“Honestly, Joohyun…I wouldn’t care if you were a murderer.”

That made Irene shuffle awkwardly in her place, as she avoided Tiffany’s gaze.

“With you around, Wendy has become much brighter than the past few months she’s been…here. At least, that’s what I last heard from her mother.” Her husky voice softened. “You’re a kind one, Joohyun. Take care, okay?”

Again, Irene could only nod.

“Hyunnie?”

“Here she comes.” Tiffany chuckles.

Irene looked back when she heard the familiar creaking of the wooden floors as Wendy walked down the stairs. Maybe Irene liked suffering. She was sure her heart would rip out of her chest, her ears ringing and falling open as she sees Wendy. Wendy was wearing a feminine tuxedo, a white, under her black blazer was a long-sleeve polo tucked into slacks; a black tie around her neck and her black jacket was hanging loosely on her arm. She wore another pair of black heels too.

“Hey, Bae. You look…Bae.” Wendy wiggled her eyebrows and Irene tried not to roll her eyes at the lame (but it was cute) joke. Fortunately, Joy had told her about that ‘Bae’ jokes that surfaced in social media a year back.

Well, before anything else, Irene had existed long before it became a ‘y’ description for someone.

“Wendy! Why are you wearing a suit?”

“This is much more comfortable, and I look like a girl crush! It’s what I’ve always wanted!” Wendy whined as Tiffany reprimanded her. “Well, whatever. Stay safe tonight, okay? Both of you can come back tomorrow.”

‘Say what.’

Tiffany saw the bewildered look on Irene’s face.

“I didn’t mean it that way! Oh well…Yeah, I guess you might do that--on second thought, just don’t come back if you do.” Tiffany face palmed. Irene couldn’t keep herself from turning red.

“What? What’re you guys on about?” Wendy blinked in confusion.

“Never you mind. Joohyun, I shall correct myself. Nothing will happen tonight.” Tiffany directed her last words to Irene who hid her face in her hands. Wendy looked back and forth between them before shrugging it off, yet the suspicious look on her face still remained.

“Oh, well…if you guys are done, are you reading to go, Joohyun?” Wendy grinned sheepishly, offering her arm to Irene who raised an amused brow. “I’ll treat you like a princess tonight!”

‘Only tonight?’

“Fine. Any time you want.”

Irene showed off a triumphant smile before looping her arm around Wendy’s and dragged her outside, glancing back at Tiffany and waving ‘Goodbye!’ She didn’t wait for Tiffany to wave back because she immediately closed the door as soon as she dragged Wendy outside.

“Woah, there, Hyunnie, you’re so excited, what’s the rush?” Wendy laughed.

‘Limited time.’

After buckling up, Wendy raised her arms and stretched, sighing in relief. “As I’ve said, I’ll take you to the lighthouse! It’s a place I usually go to when a lot of things happen…” She faltered and they both knew that they didn’t need any more words because they understood.

Wendy the radio, and soft, classical music started playing through the speakers that surrounded the car. Wendy hummed along and Irene leaned her head back to the headrest, enjoying the enamoring voice of Wendy Son.

Her voice is like a Siren’s.

Except it doesn’t kill people physically.

In the back of her mind, Irene felt a little jealous that Wendy could sing so wonderfully while staying as human. It reminded her of Seulgi; but Wendy slightly had a different feel. Her voice stirred up emotions inside Irene and she immersed herself in the song. “Would you like me to sing a song for you?”

Irene’s eyes fluttered open and saw Wendy glancing at her. The older smiled sincerely.

‘Please do.’

“This one is a favorite of mine.” Wendy’s free hand turned off the radio until they were enveloped in silence. “Better.” Wendy muttered, before smiling at Irene and taking a deep breath.

‘I love this place.

But it’s haunted.

Without you.’

Irene couldn’t look away.

‘My tired heart

Is beating so, slow.

Our hearts sing less,

Than we wanted, than we wanted.’

If you look closely, Wendy’s eyes started glistening.

‘Our hearts sing cause,

We do not know.

We do not know.’

Her voice cracked and Irene flinched slightly.

‘To light the night,

To let us grow,

To help us grow.’

‘It is not said,

I always know.’

 

Irene could see the small but sad smile on Wendy’s lips.

‘You can catch me,

Don’t you run.

Don’t you run.’

‘If I could live another day,

In this happy, little house,

My heart is here to stay.’

 

Irene’s hand unconsciously went and laid itself on her chest, her beating heart. The song did not only describe Wendy’s situation, but hers as well. She could understand that Wendy’s one sole wish was to remember the feeling of genuine happiness that she felt when her home was lively, where her parents were alive and well. But Irene’s wish; it was something she’d like to tell her fellow Sirens.

No matter how much Irene wanted this accursed pact to end, she would still wish to spend another day with them.

Maybe when they were all freed from the Ocean’s will.

Maybe after Irene gets released, Seulgi, Joy and Yeri would still be looking over her.

The thought of forgetting them clouded Irene’s mind, and her heart ached.

“…I’m sorry. I promised not to cry anymore, but it’s not easy to recover from my parents’ deaths.” Wendy sniffled, her voice small and frail that if Irene could talk, she would easily break her.

“I miss them. W-When I was a child you see, I wanted to move to Canada because of my sister. Years after, my parents were about to go there but I told them I’d come back to Calais. I…I never really got to spend a lot of time with them. That’s what I regret the most.”

The Siren’s mind drifted back to her own family. She felt slightly guilty that she wasn’t able to save them back then.

“I feel sick.”

Joohyun felt like vomiting her lunch. The ship fought against the waves that pushed them back. The storm was getting stronger by the minute. A woman with short, curly hair and wrinkled face shot Irene a look. Pearls dangled from her arms and around her neck. Her umbrella dress made a swift sound as the woman turned to look at Joohyun with remorse. “Joohyun, can’t you at least handle your sea sickness a little bit better?”

“Apologies, mother. It never crossed my mind that I have the ability to control this when it is the first time I’ve ridden a ship.” Joohyun fired, sarcastically.

Her mother grunted, before rolling her eyes grumpily. “You really do take after your father.” Joohyun’s lips curled into a mocking smile.

‘Or maybe just you, mother.’

The ship rocked slightly, sending Joohyun off balance and falling off of her bed. She cursed, before biting the inside of . Her mother pursed her lips with a disapproving look. “Where did you hear that foul language?”

“Around our mansion, dear mother.” Joohyun muttered, her head spinning and her vision turning double. “I’m going to vomit.” Her face was already paling at the thought, holding her stomach, hidden beneath a puffy, cream dress.

And suddenly she blinked, her ears tuning out everything else except-

She heard a choir of voices singing an unfamiliar song.

“What’s that?”

It was the first time Joohuyn saw her mother panicking. She was looking all over the place frantically searching for that sweet yet poisonous song. Joohyun felt as if her sea sickness was fading away.

“It’s…I think it’s from outside.” Joohyun weakly stated.

“Let’s take a look, we need to take a look.”

Joohyun witnessed her mother’s brown eyes turning foggy, as if she wasn’t seeing Joohyun at all. “I’ll stay here.” She pursed her lips, knowing her mother was far from listening as she shuffled outside where it was raining twice as harder now.

‘What?’

She blinked for a second, and found herself leaning on the doorframe.

Joohyun could not believe what she was seeing. Her scream was drowned out by the loud pitter-patter of the rain. Her vision was a bit blurry but she could see her sister on the side, lapping the water with the same glazed eyes their mother had. Although they looked out of their minds, at the same time, they looked happy. In front of her, people started jumping off the railings of the ship and Joohyun could only watch, horrified. Her mother was approaching the edge of the ship as well, and as Irene neared her, she could shee her mother mumbling.

Where was her father? She couldn’t find her father anywhere.

He must’ve jumped.

She realized this when she could feel her body following the crowd, walking towards the edge. ‘NO, NO, NO!’ Her mind screamed but she could not stop herself. Tears formed in her eyes unwillingly as she tightly grabbed onto the railings. Below her, the Ocean roared hungrily, the violent waves destroying the boat.

Then she fell.

 

‘I can’t die. I can’t. I have to live!’

Really?

Joohyun closed her eyes, a prayer leaving her lips.

Will you do anything to live?

Joohyun’s lips trembled.

‘I will.’

 

Then you’ll live.

~.~.~.~

Joohyun woke up, feeling like she was afloat.

She blinked, opening and bubbles came out, the sound bloated. She squints.

Blue. Everything was blue.

Where was she?

“You’re awake.”

Joohyun wildly looked at her surroundings for the voice. It sounded clear, like the bell of the church when it rings, like the sound of rushing waters, falling off silently and disappearing into the lake in her hometown.

“You’re alive. In a way.” Joohyun twirled around, her feet finally touching the white, sandy ground. A woman who looked like she was in her twenties, a thin line on her soft, pink lips, her skin was so pale, like snow. “We’re under the Ocean right now.”

“W-Why-”

The stranger tilted her head, her raven hair elegantly following after her, bouncing as it did so. “You asked.” Joohyun remained confused. “I’m…I what?” The woman looked as if she expected her confused state.

“You asked to live. Right now, it’s either you’ll live or die.”

Joohyun’s lips quivered as she took in shaky breaths. Is this a dream? But everything felt so real. “I-I did but what about my family?” No matter how much she loathed them, they were still her blood.

The woman looked grim. “It’s either you live or you join your family.”

Join them.

Joohyun winced.

The expression on the woman’s face told Joohyun that she had enough of people dying. Her blue eyes were pleading Joohyun.

“Please say you’ll live.”

~.~.~.~

The same fear she felt all those years ago came back as she stood frozen, in front of a lighthouse near the edge of a cliff. Ducklings and crap. She almost staggered backward, her hands trembling as she came face-to-face with Her once again, and this time Her voice was louder than normal.

Joohyun, Joohyun…I told them you’re alive. That didn’t stop them from worrying.

There were stairs leading to the cliff and Wendy had insisted she goes up first. Irene bit her tongue. She should’ve waited for Wendy. ‘I’m coming back, please tell them that.’

The Ocean didn’t respond for a moment, making Irene feel burdened.

We’ll be talking for a while.

Her voice left no room for any arguments.

‘I am prepared.’

“Hyunnie?” Relief flooded Irene’s body when she felt a presence behind her and she quickly buried her face in Wendy’s shoulders. She was tearing up. She can’t believe that she felt this afraid. “…Are you still scared of the ocean?” Wendy held her waist firmly, her hand caressing Irene’s ebony hair, as they were almost the same height.

Irene could only nod, her breaths rag.

“I’m here. The Ocean won’t take you away from me. If it will, I’ll come for you.”

Wendy’s voice held determination and promises she was so sure that she would never break. ‘How could you make such promises?’ Irene would have scolded her. But seeing Wendy looking at her so surely, she felt safe.

“Look over there, next to the lighthouse.”

When Irene did, she noticed a house, hidden underneath the lighthouse’s shadow; oceanic blue, sparkling even in the night. It was a bungalow, the rooftop was painted the color of the ocean, the walls painted white, pillars designed to look like the ones in Ancient Greek Mythology, and from the corner of Irene’s eyes, a porch facing Her was there.

“During my birthday last February, my parents gave me this house.” Wendy’s sandy blonde hair was swept gently by the breeze, her chocolate brown eyes softly gazing at the house, possibly reminiscing the moment.

“I told you that I had something to tell you, right?”

Wendy’s arm left Irene’s waist and she grabbed both of the older woman’s hands in hers. “Since we’re…friends, I don’t want to hide anything from you.” If Irene could tell Wendy her deepest secret, she would gladly do it. Since anyhow, she already broke a lot of rules.

“First of all, you have to know that I’m gay.”

Wendy closed her eyes and bowed her head slightly as if expecting Irene to react negatively and pull her hands away.

However, Irene only blinked.

‘That’s it?’

Was Wendy worried about that? It took a few more moments of silence before Wendy felt Irene’s hands trembling. She panicked and looked up, “Joohyun, are you o-Hyun?” She felt dumbfounded.

Irene was muffling laughter, to the point that tears started forming in the corner of her blue eyes. “Wh-Why are you laughing?” Wendy was genuinely hurt. Irene stopped before concern took over. She grabbed Wendy’s arm before writing on it with her finger.

I knew. It was obvious.

“R-Really? You’re not disgusted?”

Irene tilted her head.

Seungwan, I’m just the same.

Irene anticipated the shock on Wendy’s face. “You…You’re also…?” Irene smiled, nodding. The younger felt her hands moistening. “Th-Then you must know…that I-I’m…” Irene’s expression told her that she knew, but she wanted to hear it from Wendy herself.

But that can wait.

“Before that, I brought you here because I wanted to offer you something.” Wendy starts quietly. “I live here alone. I-If you have no other place you have to go to…If…If you want to stay here…I-

You can live with me.”

~.~.~.~

 

Irene admits. Wendy was offering something huge. Another thing is that Irene can accept this. But she would have to keep it hidden. She would stay with the others at day and come back to Calais at night.

That was a possibility.

Irene could do that.

But she has to weigh the possibilities and their consequences.

She couldn’t leave the younger girl while she was still broken. But she couldn’t accept it as well if Wendy has not been healed yet. Wendy seemed to realize this. “Don’t think that I’m using you, Joohyun.” She answered Irene’s silent question softly.

How can you be so sure?

Why should I believe you?

“Hyun, I want you to live with me…but um…am I going to fast? We’ve only seen each other for a few times so I...I want to get to know you more.” Wendy lowered her head shyly, finding the pebbly ground interesting. Irene didn’t know what to say. If she had to write what she was going to say in ink on papyrus, like what she used to do when she was new, she still wouldn’t know.

What more now?

What did it mean to fall in love? Was Irene in love?

Why is she suddenly doubting everything?

Wendy knew that the older girl was troubled. Her blue eyes were unsure and her lips were pursed. “I’ll become your support. I know…this must be such a big promise to make but I honestly care for you. I honestly want to carry this with you. So you won’t have to feel like you’re alone in this thing you’re in right now.” Wendy slowly reached out to gently caress Irene’s face while the latter leaned into her touch, eyes unwillingly closing, a sigh leaving her lips. “I would do this…I would willingly do all of these…because…If…If you haven’t known by now…” Wendy faltered.

I really like you.

“But you don’t have to say yes.” Her husky voice was soft, eyes blinking and glistening. “I’m willing to wait. J-Just know that-that-”

“You can always come home to me.”

 

~.~.~.~

Irene didn’t know why she did that.

She didn’t know why her body moved on it’s own and she found herself pressing her lips on Wendy’s plump ones. Immediate surprise was quickly replaced by reciprocation. Wendy held her tightly, hands firmly on the waist.

First kiss.

Sparks flying.

Magical.

Fireworks.

Irene felt none of those.

Irene had never had hers except for now. Kisses were kisses. It shouldn’t feel as if you want to continuously do it. It shouldn’t feel like your heart was soaring and touching heaven. It shouldn’t have been beautiful beyond description. Their lips molded perfectly as one as if they’ve always done this.

It shouldn’t have made Irene wanting more.

It shouldn’t have made Irene feel as if both of them were two less lonely people in the world.

But it did.

As if both of their worlds collided and merged together to form a new one; where only the both of them were present. Irene felt Wendy smile in their kiss, and pulled her closer-if that was still possible-and Irene could hear both of their hearts.

Hearts wounded and broken, trying to heal themselves by reaching out to each other. I’m in love with you. Even if she shouldn’t have. However, it seems like what feels wrong felt right.

Not only at the moment.

But even from the very start.

If this was wrong, then Irene doesn’t mind. This-This wrong thing was so sweet. Felt good. Humans were naturally selfish, and if there was a need, Irene would want to keep Wendy for herself.

 

If there was forever,

 

She wants this moment to last.

I’ll hold you when things go wrong,

I’ll be with you from dusk ‘till dawn.

Wendy was the one who broke the kiss. They were left gasping, their face flushing and sweat forming from the heat. They stared at each other in delight. Wendy grinned goofily and Irene was left speechless.

“Wow.” The older girl breathed.

Until she realized.

Immediately, she covered . She stood frozen, horror dawning on her face. NO. Wendy’s eyes glazed, her shoulders slumped and opening wide like a fish.

SHI-

Before Irene could react, Wendy ran past her-towards the cliff. “Seungwan-SEUNGWAN, NO!” Irene clicked her tongue before trying to catch up but Wendy wasn’t stopping anytime soon. The Siren had always been careful. Why? Why did it have to be now?

Now that something has happened between them?

One conclusion can be derived from this: Irene was idiotic enough to let her guard down especially when they were only a few inches near Her.

Irene let out a bloodcurdling scream as Wendy jumped off the cliff, towards the Ocean. The Siren threw away all of her rational thinking and followed suit. Wendy wouldn’t be able to survive.

She jumped off the cliff, the wind roaring in her ears and she squints, eyes turning red as she reached out to Wendy who was aimlessly falling, her arms flailing and eyes turning normal for just a second.

Glazed eyes and empty hearts.

Irene could hear herself screaming, her eyes fluttering shut when they hit Her. It felt like hitting a brick wall. She gasped when they went underwater, eyes almost bulging out of their sockets when she sees the current pulling down Wendy in ease, under the deep blue that was so dark it felt like She was dragging Wendy to hell.

No, no, no, no!

Irene pushed herself and swam, still grateful that she still had a bit of control over the water. She gritted her teeth, both arms outstretched and caught Wendy’s leg. “Let go of her!” Irene pleaded, trying her best to pull Wendy up from the contradicting waters.

She heard your voice. She belongs to Me.

“Can’t you save her? Make her a Siren?” Never in her life did Irene thought she would beg just for someone she loves.

She is the reason why you disobeyed Me, Joohyun. She’s mine. I cannot let her live if it means you’ll do it again.

Irene had enough.

“I have served you for eighty years! Not once did I ever leave you or hurt you like others did. I killed thousands for You. Why can’t you just spare this one life compared to the thousands that I’ve killed? You keep apologizing, please. Please. At least-

 

At least once, spare her.” She choked, and she couldn’t tell if it was the Ocean’s waters blurring her eyes or it was her own tears.

Irene wasn’t aware whether she was crying when her voice grew hoarse and choked, her tears probably mixing with the Ocean. She hoped that the Ocean read her mind; as she thought of everything about Wendy. The first time they met- her cheeky smile and flushed face. That night when she admitted to killing her parents. Just this morning when Irene cooked for her and her family, as if they were a family. Wendy confessing and willing to wait. At least for once, she hoped that the Ocean could feel what she felt.

It was a full minute of struggling to get Wendy up when the currents stopped and paused.

Get her out of Me less I change My mind.

The Ocean’s voice was strained. But Irene obeyed in fear that that was no empty threat. She pulled Wendy up with difficulty, as if the waters burdened her and tried to suppress her. When she swam up and reached the shore, she hovered over Wendy, drops of the salt water dripping on Wendy’s unconscious face. She performed CPR, pumping Wendy’s chest for a while until a voice called her.

She will live.

“I’m so sorry. I’m really sorry.” Irene’s hands trembled as her lips quivered, tears falling from her face. “I love you too…I love you so much.” Wendy’s chest slowly rose and fell, heaving. Her eyes were tightly shut and her lips were partly opened, and the tears dripped down from the Siren’s face and onto Wendy’s. Irene leaned in and softly placed a chaste kiss on Wendy’s lips.

The Ocean gave Her promise. Irene forced herself to crawl away from Wendy. “Live your life, please.” Were her last words before she fell backwards, enveloped by the Ocean once more. “Thank you for teaching me to love, yeah?” Irene smiled slightly, tears staining her face.

How unfortunate.

It has only started and ended so quickly.

Like a man’s life, only a drop in the Ocean.

~.~.~.~

So this is where you were.

She had taken Irene to the deepest part of Her, as if She expected Irene to escape. The Siren didn’t answer, only looked at the white sand under her. She knelt and lowered her head.

You disobeyed Me.

“Kill me now. Stop it and just kill me now.” Irene stated. She knew where this was going. She had seen it many times. Both her and Seulgi. “Kill me but spare Wendy’s life.” Irene continued. “She did nothing. It’s all my fault.”

And you want her to live her life knowing that you’re dead? And leave your sisters without knowledge of this happening? Just like that?

That stopped Irene. It was as if something broke inside her and she punched the sand, throwing it uselessly around her. “Then what am I going to do?! You plan to kill her! If that is what happens, then I’d rather you kill me! I have been a leader for Seulgi and Joy for years…I also love Yeri...I have never had enough…” Irene choked.

“It was always me. I always looked after them…But I’ve had enough of You. If you plan to end it, just do it quickly.”

…I won’t do that.

“Then what is it do you want from me?” Irene grasped the sand underneath her, fists clenched so tight that she was shaking.

I will not kill you. I will also spare the life of Son Wendy. But you will have to do something for Me.”

‘What’s new.’

Fifty years. I’ll add fifty years to your service.

Irene felt like vomiting. She stood up shakily, her lips quivering and eyes threatening to spill tears. “What?! You can’t do that!”

I made you. I can do as I please.

“I’ve been loyal to you for eighty years! I did not disobey You even once! Can you not let this go?” Irene’s voice cracked, feeling like it was burning. This was too much-Irene felt like breaking.

Even though she already was.

“Please….” Irene sobbed. ‘Why, Why me?’

You knew My rules, Joohyun. You knew this could happen.

“You know what?” Irene glared at the water, her voice dropping a tone low. “You don’t know a crap about this. You don’t understand what we humans feel-you don’t understand that we need love!”

But I already love you, Joohyun. Who else could give you a love like Mine? Shouldn’t you be happy to spend more time with me? And after fifty years, you could find love.

“Seungwan…” Irene’s voice broke the eeriness of the soundless waters. “Seungwan was willing to wait. Seungwan didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to do. Seungwan tried to understand me even if she knew I was probably hiding many things from her. She won’t be here by then.”

She would have found someone else to love, she would have already forgotten Irene.

And Irene would watch over her.

Which may be painfully true.

Irene sighed softly. “Joy, Seulgi and even Yeri…They’re like that. But You?”

 

“…You can’t understand.”

 

~.~.~.~

Irene found Seulgi waiting for her the moment She sent her back to her home. Seulgi looked at her with bright eyes, but there was also a hint of worry in them. The moment Irene set foot on the sandy beach, she staggered forward, feeling weak and the younger immediately caught her.

“Are you alright?” Seulgi’s voice was patient, unnerving. It soothed Irene. But the latter just shook her head, her whole body trembling as she tried not to break down. They both fell on the beach, Seulgi wincing, but hold on Irene was just right, unwavering; not too tight nor was it too loose.

It was what Irene needed right now.

“Let it all out.” Seulgi caressed Irene’s unkempt hair, voice soft and understanding as if she knew what Irene was going through.

And Irene couldn’t hold it any longer.

She cried. She cried so much for the first time and Irene didn’t think it was enough to express the pain and anguish she was feeling. It felt like everything was crashing down, like her world was ending-

But it won’t.

 

Life will still continue without her.

But Wendy who made her feel human again. Wendy who she spent such little time with but made it feel like a lifetime. Wendy who stood like a pillar, who made her feel that there was still a little bit of good left in the human race.

How was Wendy going to live her life now?

Irene gripped on Seulgi’s hands tightly, wailing aloud, shaking too much, her legs giving out. “It hurts, Seulgi…It hurts so much…I can’t-I want to die.” Seulgi let out a hum, kissing the crown of Irene’s head.

The sky looks like it was also about to cry, gloomy clouds hiding the sun, the Ocean roaring behind them, thunder sounding in the distance. Irene’s muffled cries could be heard loud and clear, and it seems like even if there was a person nearby, she wouldn’t care if they jumped in the Ocean right there and then.

Irene would bang her head and bleed if she could. Maybe throw herself off of a cliff and die because of the impact.

“Would you like to tell me?”

Irene didn’t answer.

“…You really are stubborn, unnie.” Seulgi sighs. “…Maybe now, it seems like the pain won’t ever end.” Seulgi whispers. “Maybe now…it feels like you’re in a tunnel you can’t ever get out from.”

“…And you can’t tell anyone exactly what you feel because you don’t want to burden them but you know you don’t have to carry it yourself.”

The younger of the two rubbed circles on Irene’s back comfortingly. She had an idea of what was happening but she rather let Irene talk it out. “Living is so hard, Seulgi.” Irene replied quietly. They were sitting a bit farther from the beach house, and even had a distance between them and the Ocean.

The sun was setting; the Ocean had been silent for a while. The evening is about to fade, but Irene’s brokenness will still remain. “I-I finally found a reason to live for…To continue even when I have wanted to kill myself on many occasions.”

Seulgi stayed silent.

“But…When I finally found it…When I finally found that person…” Irene’s lips trembled, her words shaky and her whole self was vulnerable. “She….She had to take her away.”

Seulgi glanced at the Ocean, a remorseful feeling bubbling in the pit of her stomach. But what could she do? She was just as powerless as a bug in front of Her. “And she added fifty more years…” Irene sounded like she was on the brink of insanity. Seulgi had to bit the inside of her tongue, her eyebrow twitching. She could understand that this was about to crush Irene any time now.

Seulgi hated herself.

She couldn’t do anything.

She couldn’t do anything to help-

Because in the end, she didn’t have Irene’s heart to be able to mend it.

“Seulgi, promise me something, will you?” Irene smiled weakly at her. “What is it, unnie?” Seulgi’s voice cracked slightly, as she blinked away the tears forming in her eyes.

Seeing someone she loved so much, broken, also pained the younger Siren.

“Don’t tell anyone about this. Please.”

Seulgi’s eyes darkened slightly. “Unnie, even if you keep this a secret, they’ll find out eventually. Joy and Yeri are capable of doing so.”

“They won’t understand.”

“But they can try.”

Irene pursed her lips, her hands digging into the sand forcefully. “Let’s stop this conversation.” “No.”

“Seulgi-”

“I’m not a ghost, Joohyun. I’m here. I’m here and I can see how much the weight is about to flatten you with how heavy the load is. I can hear your cries even if you think you’re hiding it well enough.” Seulgi hugged her knees tightly, resting her head on top of them.

“And you know what? It might not compare to you, but when you hide the pain, you must think it won’t worry the others. But it will, Joohyun. The people who care about you will be hurting as well.”

“Then what do you want me to do?” Irene didn’t know anymore.

“Stop hiding. That person isn’t the only one who loves you.”

 

 

~.~.~.~

“You’re improving.”

Irene blinked, glancing at Joy who was staring at the rough sketch she was trying to do. “Wish I had talents like yours and Seulgi.” Joy yawned. “But I’m too lazy to draw.” The older girl rolled her eyes.

“That’s why you don’t improve, Joy.”

“Pft. At least I’m talented in other fields.”

“Mhmm.”

“What are you drawing anyway?” If Joy noticed the way Irene stiffened, she didn’t mention it. “A dream?” Irene answered with uncertainty in her voice. Joy pursed her lips, studying the messy lines that Irene had drawn onto the canvas and she quickly stepped away from Irene.

“Well, it looks fine to me. Wanna head out to town and eat?”

“I don’t feel like going out, Joy.”

“Oh come on! The night is young! You’ve been back for days now. All you do is spend time in your room.” She scowled as if staying a lot in a room was bad for Irene’s health. (Mentally, probably.) “Joy, you knew that even before this incident I don’t like going out.”

“But you always say yes as long as it wasn’t a bar.” Joy argued.

When Irene didn’t answer, Joy just sighed and turned around, her arm bumping into the desk where Irene had placed the pencils she had used. “I’m trying to help you.” She heard as Joy slammed the door closed.

“But…there’s nothing wrong.” Irene mumbled back to nobody, evaporating into thin air.

‘If I start to think like that, then maybe nothing really is wrong.’

 

~.~.~.~

Nothing changed much even after that dreadful week. Or maybe there was a change. Irene started to once again lock herself up in her room. She had placed dark curtains to cover the large windows that showed the vast Ocean. Her room was once again dimly lit, grim and loneliness radiating from the walls.

Irene surrounded herself with the bed sheets; she hadn’t cleaned herself up at all. She felt sick. And she was supposed to be unable to get sick. If she planned to hide everything she was feeling, she wasn’t doing it well. When she and Seulgi returned to the beach house where the two younger girls were waiting for them, they had ran up to her and enveloped her in a tight hug.

In the eldest Siren’s eyes, she was doing quite well in acting that she was fine. Acting. But the others knew just by looking at Seulgi’s dark expression.

The bear can’t even hide a can of pringles, what more about Irene’s secrets.

So she felt terrible. With self-reflection, she knew that she moved slower than usual. She keeps forgetting things so easily, so unlike the supposedly excellent memory the Ocean gave her.

‘Will Irene go out today?’

‘Why don’t you check up on her?’

Irene frowned, looking up from her bed. She flinches, seeing the crumpled papers thrown just everywhere around the spacious room. She couldn’t forget Wendy. Before the Ocean could take away her memory-Irene had tried drawing her.

Many times.

Until her fingers hurt.

Which wasn’t supposed to hurt.

Until her heart stopped aching, knowing that she must have been alright.

Until the tears that blurred her eyes dried up.

Until she stopped failing to do so.

A gentle knock resounded through the room, making Irene turn her attention to the blue painted door. “Yes?” Had she not been talking at all that her voice came out rusty and cracking? The door opened with a click! revealing Yeri. “Hey…Irene?” Her voice was careful, weary. As if Irene had built an invisible barrier between the two.

“What is it, Yeri?” Irene smiled weakly.

“Do-Do you want to eat today? You haven’t eaten in a week and you’ll want to sooner or later.”

Yeri rubbed the nape of her neck, her other hand grabbing her skirt. She was wearing a white top and an orange long skirt. She had dyed her hair back to black. “Ah, it’s okay, Yeri. I don’t think I’m hungry yet.” Irene tried to be as soft as possible with her rejection.

But Yeri wasn’t taking it.

“C’mon, I mean, I cooked today! It’s the first time someone let me cook a dish!” Yeri chirped, clasping her hands together. “I made my own recipe!” “That’s nice, Yeri but-” Irene let out a surprised squeal when Yeri decided to grab her by her arms and tried pulling her up.

“Stop moping around for a bit. Let’s go eat!”

“I-”

Irene stumbled out of bed, losing her footing. “Ah!” Yeri gasped as Irene’s exposed knee hit the wooden floor and the older bit her tongue, trying not to curse. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, Irene!” She knelt slightly besides the older woman.

“I-I’m fine…” Irene gritted her teeth, eye twitching, as she groaned from the pain. “I’m sorry! Does it hurt?” Yeri panicked slightly, her arms frantic.

This doesn’t even compare to what I feel.

“I’m alright, Yeri. You can prepare the food. I’ll go down in a moment.”

When Yeri nodded and ran almost out the doorway, she paused and turned back to Irene hesitantly. “I-Irene um…”

“Hm?”

“I-It’s nothing…” Yeri bit her lower lip, averting her gaze from Irene. “Maybe later, come down soon, okay?”

When the youngest left, Irene stood up shakily, eyes blinking. ‘What is this?’

Why does she feel like breaking down?

What’s with this unbearable sadness?

It’s depressing.

When Irene had gone down and into their kitchen, she looked at Yeri in bewilderment. “Are you uh…sure that is edible?” Irene tried not to look uncertain. Yeri grinned and nodded furiously. “It’s good! Really good!”

“…I’ll…trust your judgment.” Irene forced a smile.

…

 

She should not have trusted Yeri’s judgment.

‘I’m sorry, kid. But this tastes terrible.’

“How is it?” Yeri asked, eyes bright and a hopeful look on her face. Irene just stared remorsefully at the bowl in front of her. “It’s…It could be better, Yeri.” Yeri didn’t seem to look disappointed. “Right, where are Joy and Seulgi?” Irene blinked, looking around their almost deafening house.

“Ah…They went on an…adventure.” Yeri shoved her ‘creative’ work of art in , looking alarmed.

“Oh…Okay then.”

Irene patiently waited for the younger girl to finish eating, tapping her fingers on the wooden table. Yeri looked deep in thought as she continued chewing on what she supposed it delicious.

“By the way, Irene…I noticed something…”

Irene blinked, tilting her head to the side. “Shoot.”

“Didn’t you guys say that when I become a Siren, I can’t get sick anymore? I can’t get bruises anymore?”

“Mhmm.”

“Then…” Yeri pauses. “Why is your knee bruised?”

That’s when Irene realized as she looked down at her legs.
 

“…You’re…right…”

~.~.~.~

Maybe Irene was just exaggerating. She clicks her tongue as she turns the pages of a book she had acquired from Taeyeon long ago. The Siren had started wearing jeans and sweatpants in order to hide the bluing bruise to which she did not know how to treat. It took at least another week after for it to completely disappear which worried her more. It was too long for a Siren.

“The Silence of the Sirens.” The author’s name had been smudged, faded after almost being a century old.

But one sentence burned itself in Irene’s mind.

“A Siren’s voice is considered poisonous, and yet, at the same time, is the cure.”

‘A Siren’s voice kills. Is it possible to still live even after hearing a Siren’s voice? If they do, what happens to the Siren? Will something happen?’

-Kim Taeyeon

Although Yeri knew about this, Irene had told her to keep it a secret from Seulgi and Joy who were still not back from their ‘adventure,’ which the eldest was starting to doubt.

And yet, Irene still couldn’t understand this question. It was starting to bother her. Will something happen to Wendy? Will something happen to Irene? Was there a case about this before?

She slumped back on the wooden chair, massaging her head. This was starting to give her a headache. Literally. (When did she get headaches?) “…Joohyun?” Irene squints through her dimly lit room, looking at the door opening and letting in some light.

‘Ah. They’re back.’

“Hey Joy. What’s up?”

Joy had also dyed her hair, it seems. The tall woman flashed a smile, before wrinkling her nose. “Unnie, when did you turn emo? Living in darkness and all that sh-t.” She stepped in, wearing a black, knitted sweater and black slacks. Was she going somewhere? Irene raised a brow, and unconsciously, she closed the leather-bounded book.

Irene rolled her eyes. “At least I’m more artistic than you ever will be.” Joy scoffed. “Excuse me? I know art!” “Like what?” Joy gestured to her body, smirking. “You see this? This is art. This is perfection that even the gods can’t compare-”

Irene just knew she was going to say that. She held down a growl in .

“Get to the point.” Irene interrupted.

Joy stopped speaking. For a second, she glanced at the closed windows of Irene’s room. A dreadful feeling filled Irene up as Joy’s expression darkened and she became serious which was so unlike her.

“She wants to see you.”

~.~.~.~

Irene had always been afraid of water. When she was still human, she even refused going to the beach even when only a few people were privileged to go on trips to the Ocean during her time.

Even when she became a Siren, the fear never left her.

The Ocean’s threats only made it worst. It was true; Irene was the only Siren who bothered to get to know the Ocean. It was true; Irene wanted to overcome her fear.

But now she feels burdened once again.

The wind whooshed, and Irene was glad that she had tied up her unwashed hair in a bun. She changed out of her ‘ahjumma’ clothes and into a grey boyfriend tee and swim shorts. She walked barefoot through the beach and stopped just when the crashing waves reached the shore and met her feet.

Joohyun.

“…” Irene took in a sharp breath. She swallowed the lump forming in as she took a trembling step forward, trying not to stumble and fall as a whole. She closes her eyes and delves into the deep blue again.

It’s been two weeks. Are you feeling better?

Irene didn’t bother to hide everything she was feeling. She let the images of Wendy flash through her mind, as well as her anguish, hoping that it was enough to convey to the Ocean what she was feeling.

She never even left your thoughts.

“I don’t think she ever will.” Irene said softly.

Just when she had started dreaming of things other than the people that she had murdered, it had to be someone she might possibly never see again.

Joohyun, stop thinking about her or else you already know what will happen.

“…Is threatening me the only think you know how to do?” Irene clenched her fists. She could feel the Ocean pause for a moment. “You won’t make me stay away from her by threatening me.” A crooked smile found its way on Irene’s face, her words coming out bitter and broken.

“Do you want my devotion? My undying affection?”

Yes. As You have Mine.

“ Then promise me that whenever she comes to You, you’ll protect her. When she decides to fish, give her more than ever. Promise me of her life, not her death. Promise me that when You find her struggling in the waters, You will bring her to the shore. Promise me that when a rope pulls her off her boat, You will untangle it Yourself. Promise me that my voice will not be the one to bring her to her grave. Then I can assure you…” Irene pauses. “That you will have all that’s left of me.”

“I’ll never disobey You again. I won’t ever break Your rules again.”

As long as Wendy lives the life she deserves. As long as she’s safe. Even if she forgets Irene after seventy years. Even if she falls in love with someone else.

It would be alright as long as Irene knew that Wendy would live a wonderful life even without her.

It will be alright because Irene will be happy as long as she’s happy.

(Even if there might be an aching pain behind that happiness. Even if she longs to be the one giving Wendy happiness.)

Would you be kinder to your sisters? They are looking out for you.

It was going to be okay. “I will.” She wouldn’t leave them alone anymore.

…Then I agree.

“Thank you.” Irene choked out, not knowing that she held her breath and tears were pooling out of her eyes.

If this promise suffice, then so be it.

“You have my word.”

 

In the back of her mind, she knew,

 

That if she ever loved someone romantically, it would only end bitterly.

 

With her heart the only one hurting.

As long as she mends Wendy’s heart with her own. Even when maybe one day, Wendy would take it back and give it to someone else she could spend her lifetime with.

 

And when that happens, Irene will be missing the pieces of her own heart. Barely enough to let her live.

But for Irene, even if only one piece would be left, she’ll willingly live with that piece alone.

~.~.~.~

When the moon came out, Irene silently walked back to the beach house, feeling cold as she was drenched, wearing another dress made from sea foam; gold and sparkling in the moonlight. A long, backless gown that was supposed to radiate positive emotions, except the one wearing it failed to radiate them.

At the front porch, Seulgi was waiting for her. She was wearing a black, crewneck pullover and grey sweatpants.

Seulgi gave her a small grin. “Seulgi.” Irene smiled back, although it didn’t reach her eyes. “Can you tell me why you were gone for two weeks?” She raised a brow as the grin immediately fell of Seulgi’s face and the younger gulps.

“I-uh…These…”

That was the only time that Irene noticed Seulgi’s hands behind her back. “What are you hiding-”

Immediately, Seulgi shoved a sketchbook into Irene’s chest. “-What?” “Open it.” Seulgi urged, making Irene all the more puzzled. “Why?” Seulgi bit on her lower lip, her ears flushed. “Just do it, unnie.”

“Okay, okay…”

And Irene did. The first one that greeted her was someone she never thought she’d see again. It was a neatly drawn portrait of a woman, with bangs swept to the side, a wide grin on her face, her eyes following, turning into an eye smile that made her look cheeky. She turned the page, finding the same person sitting at the edge of the familiar cliff. It looked like the one who drew it was hiding behind the lighthouse. Her back was turned so Irene couldn’t see her expression.

And she flipped the page once more.

Wendy was in some kind of room, a frown on her lips. Her brows were furrowed and her arm was bandaged. She was wearing a hospital gown. Why? Irene flipped it over again.

She was in the ice cream parlor shop.

“This-This…”

Irene’s hands trembled, tears blurring her sight. She looked up at Seulgi whose eyes twinkled. “I…snuck into your room while you were gone for that…week. You had the sketchpad that I gave you and I saw.” Seulgi fiddled with her thumbs, pausing. “…I went to find her.” Her voice was small and Irene almost dropped the sketchpad.

“You did what?”

Seulgi stretched out her arm, placing her finger on Irene’s lips. “It was Joy’s idea. No, I did not tell her if you were wondering. She had been suspicious of you ever since you decided to move out of our apartment back in Canada.”

Irene bit her lower lip. “Am I that obvious?”

Seulgi didn’t reply. Instead, she looked at Irene in concern. “How have you been? I thought you’d…want to make sure she’d be alright so I went in your place.” Irene’s eyes softened, seeing the guilty look on Seulgi’s face.

“You…shouldn’t have, you know.”

“Unnie, if it’s you, I would do everything I can.”

~.~.~.~

‘But sometimes, everything you can is still not enough. It will never be enough.’

But at least Seulgi’s trying, right? Irene hugged the sketchpad tightly and Seulgi tries to avoid the bubbling envy inside her. “…Thank you.” Was all Irene could whisper.

For a moment, Seulgi saw the twinkling stars in Irene’s blue eyes. She saw them light up in a different way for the first time in all the years they’ve been together. As if the deep blue eyes that tortured them for years by being a reminder of their sins had seen past through that.

They looked alive.

Although she was happy, there was a part of her that was sad. For years, she tried making Irene smile like that. For years, she always wondered why, when Irene smiled, there was always a hint of sadness. It never reached her eyes.

This was like a blow to Seulgi’s pride; a stranger who knew almost little to nothing about Irene came and did what Seulgi could not.

Still, she hid her clenched fists behind her.

“No problem. I’ll do anything to make you happy.”

‘It’s not the time to tell her.’

~.~.~.~

The illusion of invulnerability.

Irene remembers attending a lesson in Psychology that discussed that. To make it simple, the illusion of invulnerability is when a person thinks they are invincible and would do dangerous things, thinking that it wouldn’t affect them or in worst cases, kill them.

Two months.

It’s been two months. For some reason, Irene could feel the Ocean starting to get agitated again. This also made Irene a bit conscious; as if She needed to eat again when it hasn’t even been half a year yet.

What burdened Irene is that on the morning before her human birthday, her head felt like it was splitting. She couldn’t even get up from her bed, which worried the three younger Sirens.

Get up, Joohyun.

“Can you not see I’m trying my best?” Irene gasped. Her body felt like it was burning, her head nauseous and as if she was about to vomit bile. Seulgi shot her a worried look while Joy bit the inside of , reaching out to place her hand on Irene’s forehead. “You’re burning…You’re burning up…” Surprise and a bit of ridicule was in the younger’s voice.

“But…this should be impossible.” Seulgi faltered.

What? What do you mean she’s burning up?

The Ocean sounded impatient, agitated. Irene frowned slightly. “It means I’m sick.”

Sick?

But that should be impossible.

“No sh-t, Sherlock.” Joy shot an annoyed look at the window. Irene sighed. “I can get up. What do you want us to do?” They felt the Ocean pause for a moment as if she was in deep thought.

Earlier at dusk, a large cruise ship left Denmark. It’s heading towards Iceland.

“Is this normal?” Yeri voiced out. The three older Sirens glanced at her. She looked confused as well as afraid as if the memories of her first killings were vivid in her mind. “What is, Yeri?” Seulgi asked with an encouraging voice. “I-I mean…Joy said that the Ocean doesn’t get hungry at least for six months to a year…It hasn’t even been six months yet…”

The reason is so that I may be able to push it off at least for another year.

For what reason why She wants to push her hunger off for another year, Irene did not dare ask.

“…This isn’t the first time this happened before.” Irene mumbled, remembering her seventh year as a Siren. The Ocean had become a bit greedier that year. “…It doesn’t change the fact that it’s strange.”

It’s going eighty kilometers per hour. Still, She ignored Irene’s suspicions.

“Then it would reach Iceland five hours from now.” Seulgi frowned.

Exactly why you all have to leave now.

Although Irene had plenty of reasons why she should stay at home, she stayed mum. Yeri helped her up as they stepped out of their beach house until they reached the shore.

And the cycle repeats.

Irene felt the water hug her tightly, as if a blanket was suddenly thrown at her and covered her. As they dived underneath, the water pushes them through and through, the speed increasing after ten minutes passes bye. For an hour and a half, Irene felt normal and she and the other Sirens communicated as usual.

But then it starts.

Her eyes widened and she gasps. Suddenly her vision blurred and the water stung her eyes and she closes it.

’Joohyun! Joohyun, open your eyes!’

Seulgi sounded alarmed as she screams in Irene’s thoughts which made it ache. Irene furiously shook her head and she suddenly stopped speeding up. When she opened to breathe, water filled her lungs and she felt suffocated. She clawed at , her feet frantically moving around as she slowly sank.

Her ears blocked out her friends’ voices.

Joohyun! What’s wrong?

The Ocean, besides the impatience in Her voice, sounded concerned. Irene cries out, bubbles forming as opened . ‘I can’t breathe!’ Immediately, she felt as if her feet landed on solid ground which suddenly shoots her up.

She felt as if her ears were plugged and the water was pushing back at her eyes.

Then suddenly, she could breathe again.

The Ocean had taken her to the edge of an island. I told your sisters that you’re safe. They’re still on their journey. Irene coughed out, trying to get rid of the water in her lungs. ‘Traumatizing.’ Her whole body shook, shock still written on her face. She didn’t realize that she had started crying.

Her hands buried themselves under the sand. She whimpered as she trembled. It took at least ten minutes before she started to calm down and she sat, hugging her knees to her chest.

…Tell Me what happened.

Irene looked wearily at the Ocean, the sound of crashing waves making her uncomfortable. “…I don’t know…It felt the same as ever b-but then I found myself unable to breathe.”

This isn’t normal.

Irene had to bite her tongue to fire back about this ‘normality’ the Ocean was talking about. The Ocean sounded more irritated than concerned. You ought to be able to sing and swim. That’s what you’re made for.

“…Is it possible that whatever You placed inside me is fading? I haven’t hit my century yet but is it possible that I’m too old?”

No. The Ocean’s voice hardened. It’s much more likely you’re being disobedient.

“Why would I do that when I promised You I wouldn’t?”

For the same reason you ran away the time you saw her parents dying. You’re angry with Me.

Irene looked at the Ocean in amusement. “I have done nothing wrong this time.”

You’re still thinking about her.

Irene rolled her eyes. “I miss her. I miss Wendy, yes. But I have Your word that you’d protect her and keep her alive. I think about her everyday but that doesn’t mean I’m disregarding You even for my own sake. I’ve accepted my fate.” The Ocean seemed to consider this.

True. I know you well enough.

The Siren sighs, seeing the sun setting as the sky turns into orange, covering the Ocean in another bright glow. “…I haven’t spoken to Yeri and the others in the past few weeks.”

I’ve noticed. But I haven’t spoken to Yeri other than earlier as well.

“Why?” Did Yeri do something while she was gone?

While I was busy trying to find you, Joy and Yeri had planned something sinister.

Her voice sounded strained as if She was remembering that week(which to Irene, felt like the best one.) “What happened? What did they do?” How come Yeri and Joy did not tell her? Or Seulgi?

Yeri was unable to forget the life she had as a human, I believe you remember. Then Joy and Seulgi planned to take a flight back to her hometown after I disapproved of Yeri’s plea to take revenge on her parents.

Irene widened her eyes. “They killed them?!”

They did. And after I found out after Yeri slipped, I was so angry I demanded she pay the price.

A surge of guilt filled Irene up. She wasn’t there when her friends needed her the most. What kind of leader was she? No, not leader, what kind of sister was she? Seulgi begged Me to stop, telling Me that Yeri would not be able to live her second life in peace if she was unable to forget whatever they’ve done to her.

“And You forgave them? You out of everyone should know what she had been through.”

Not everyone gets what they deserve, Joohyun. What makes her parents different?

Irene frowned. “Yeri has lived in a hellhole for nineteen years. She had no support whatsoever. She doesn’t know what love was. You should have remembered the first week that she had been with us. She kept on flinching every time we reach out to touch her.” Now that Irene recalls, it pained her heart.

“She doesn’t need another Mother to get angry at her.”

…I supposed you’re right. I gave them a warning. There are reasons why I have rules, Joohyun. One of them is not to take revenge on the people who have done you wrong in the past.

 

Because what difference would it make?

“I understand. But Yeri is still young. Do you expect her to know what is considered wrong and right?”

The definition that humans have given about what is right and wrong is relative. But as she is now My own, I’m trying My best to understand her.

Irene was the only Siren who had seen this side of the Ocean. Although the past Sirens may have despised Her and looked at Her with remorse, Irene knew that She was still filled with love and care for Her children, be it as it may that She cannot show it in a way they’d expect. “That’s great. When I come back, I’ll show her that I am someone who she can use as support.”

Indeed. Tell her that she not only has your love, but Mine as well.

“I don’t think I can tell her that without You proving it yourself.” Irene chuckled.

Irene sat and talked a bit more until night has fallen. “…Are they finished?” The Ocean stopped replying since thirty minutes ago.

…I asked them to meet you here.

“No, let me go to them. They’ve always been coming for me.”

As you are now, you’ll need support to be able to go back to your home.

Irene could not argue with that.

And her worry remains.

Joohyun, you must learn to stop thinking about Wendy Shon. It isn’t doing you or your sisters any good.

“…That is one thing I cannot promise You.” Irene smiled bitterly.

~.~.~.~

For the next few days, Irene dreamed of sandy blonde hair. The smell of the sea filled her nostrils as if it was the first time she had smelled it. She dreamed of a pair of chocolate brown eyes looking at her fondly as her hand brushed Irene’s face.

She dreamed of them wrapped in blankets, watching the starry night as they sat in the sandy beaches of Greece, Wendy pointing at constellations and trying to impress Irene with her knowledge. She dreamed of giggling and happiness.

She dreamed that she was free.

Irene awoke to a loud noise that sounded like multiple objects falling. She opened her eyes groggily, her body feeling heavier than before. She squints to see her door ajar.

And made out a tall woman who was mumbling curses as she picked up bottles of paint.

“Joy?”

Irene called out feebly. Joy pauses and tilts her head, glancing. “Oh, Joohyun unnie, you’re awake.” “What…what are you doing?” She squints. “Stupid bear kind of forgot where she had placed her painting things and I’m taking care of them.” She shrugged, shooting a glare behind her.

In the corner of Irene’s room, Joy saw cloth-covered canvases and a bunch of scattered pencils and crumpled papers on the ground. She decided to ignore it. The older woman pushed herself up, before lying back down.

Irene groaned. “I don’t feel well.” This made Joy blink in confusion.

“What?”

Joy fast-walked towards her, placing her free hand on Irene’s forehead. “You…You have a fever.” Joy’s voice resonated with disbelief. “This-I don’t-aren’t we supposed to not get sick?”

“Seul…Call Seulgi…and Yeri…”

Irene could barely talk without feeling like her stomach was gurgling and about to throw up. Joy didn’t ask anymore as she called out for the two who were outside, playing volleyball.

Irene turned her head gently to look at the window, lifting the curtain up a bit. “I…I’m not feeling well…”

Joohyun?

“I feel like my insides are burning.”

“Joohyun!” Irene winced as she heard Seulgi’s footsteps nearing and she closes her eyes. “Seulgi…”

Take her to Me. Right now.

Joy and Seulgi lifted her up gently as Yeri treaded behind them. When they reached the shore, they held Irene firmly, walking in the waters until it reached their waists and then they dived in.

In the waters, they let go of Irene and she floats there as the Ocean carries her like a precious child.

‘Something’s wrong with Irene.’ Yeri whispered to herself but was heard loud and clear. She hid behind Joy as if she was still afraid and Irene thinks she still was.

‘I’m so tired.’

Seulgi and Joy glanced at each other with a knowing look on their faces. ‘She keeps on sleeping as if she needs it. She wasn’t like this before.’ Joy was obviously worried, making Irene smile a bit because the younger rarely showed her affection. ‘She has a fever too.’ Seulgi added.

Irene was aware how her temperature was a bit warmer as the waters near her were starting to warm up as well. The Ocean lifted Irene’s arm slightly, asking her to blink. …This isn’t disobedience.

This has never happened before. I…I don’t know what to do.

This was the first time that the others have seen the Ocean fretting as if She was crying and Irene was dying.

The thought may not be that far-off.

“Maybe if she stays in You for a while, she’ll get better.” Joy suggested all of a sudden. They turned their attention to her. What? “Ideas. We’ll try to find out what’s wrong with her. Then maybe afterwards she can come back to bed.”

What bothered Irene slightly was that Joy said ‘back to bed’ instead of ‘back home.’ As if she was sure that Irene wouldn’t be able to stand again. Other than that, she seemed to be hiding something.

The three left after her words and the waters swirled around Irene. How long have you been feeling like this? This time She sounded as if She was suspecting something.

“It started with a bruise a week after I last saw Seungwan. Then it gradually turned to this.”

Almost four months.

“…You’re…not hiding something from me, are you?” Irene’s face scrunched up.

…I would refuse to say.

~.~.~.~

Irene was indeed bedridden for the following weeks to come. Yeri had given her company during that time and made the older realize that out of the three older girls, she was the least closest to Yeri. They spoke about song artists that Irene had no clue about, as well as the younger’s likes and dislikes and her dreams as well. Irene had told her that the Ocean had told her what the child had done.

“Do you think the Ocean is still mad at me?” Yeri blurted out on the rainy evening of Thursday.

“She was never mad.”

“That’s not what She showed me when she took me and almost drowned me.”

‘Damn it, Ocean.’

“You know, Yeri…The Ocean cares for you. She didn’t like what you did because she wants you to stay human. You are not a murderer. She doesn’t want you to live with thoughts like those.”

‘Even if we do murder people once in a while.’

Okay, Irene couldn’t justify that.

She coughs out, her voice coming out weakly. “What I mean to say is…She wants you to stay human in a way that you still feel guilty about doing wrong. To know how to forgive and forget. To live happily besides our duties as Sirens. To not be dragged down by any other wrongdoings.”

Yeri thought for a moment. “…So you’re saying She really loves me?”

“Of course. But the only way for you to feel it, is that you approach Her yourself.”

“How-How can you say so? I don’t think there’s enough room for me to love anyone. Much less, Her.” Yeri ducked her head.

“Oh dear Yeri…There’s always room for love. Even if it’s as small as a crack in a door.”

That statement made Yeri open up more and Irene feels as if she had finally let her guard down and stopped being careful around her.

“Why do you think it’s taking them so long?” Irene frowned, her eyes closing. She listens to the calming pitter-patter of the rain. Joy and Seulgi have been missing after they asked the youngest to look after Irene.

Yeri watched her with weary eyes, avoiding the question. “Your skin is white as snow…whiter than before.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

Yeri shook her head, her eyes troubled. “No. You look like a white lady.”

Irene chuckled. “I feel like I’m about to be one.”

…

On the afternoon of Friday, Seulgi and Joy had returned and Irene was feeling worst.

“Irene, they’ve arrived.” Yeri chewed on her lower lip nervously, her eyes darting everywhere. Irene raised a brow. “From where?”

"We went to Calais."

Seulgi appeared behind Yeri, her lips forming into a thin line.

Irene's shoulders slumped, and she weakly gets up from her bed. Her eyes felt droopy, her ears felt like it was plugged and felt dry as sandpaper. How did she manage to get this worse, she rather not find out. She coughed out, frail fingers shooting up to wrap themselves around Seulgi's arm. Seulgi swallowed, blankly looking at Irene whose lips quivered.

"When? When?"

Seulgi took a shaky breath, her free hand gently touch Irene's. She could feel the older trembling from her fingers. Irene's voice was laced with worry and relief, and Seulgi's chest tightened. "Joy and I just came back last night. We had to talk to Her first."

"Why didn't you bring me?"

Seulgi wanted to scream. Instead, her eyes glistened with tears. "Do you really think you can come with us in your current state? Joohyun, please...You can't even cross the Ocean now."

"But Seungwan...How is she?" Irene's blue eyes were dark, teary and pleading. "At least tell me she's alright. Please Seulgi. I need to know."

Seulgi closed her eyes shut, her teeth gritted. How could Irene go this far for a mere human? What was so important about Wendy that Irene would risk everything? Even them? No, she wasn't mad at Irene at all. She just wanted to understand the reasons. Her body stiffened when someone laid a comforting hand on her shoulders.

Joy had a grimace on her face.

"Joy...Joy, how is she?" Irene gasped, quickly gulping down the glass of water on her nightstand.

 

Joy pursed her lips, glancing at Seulgi who looked down.

 

"Unnie...Wendy is dying."

~.~.~.~

They showed the pictures they took and Irene broke down again. Wendy’s cheeks were hollow, her arms stick-thin and bony. Her eyes were lifeless again. There was a tube that was attached to her hand, giving her water and nutrients. It seems she was unable to eat anymore.

“It wasn’t cancer. We thought it was but it wasn’t.” All of them sat uncomfortably in Irene’s room. The eldest still couldn’t believe what she had heard and she mindlessly stares at the ceiling dully. “Her parents…Her mother had a history of cancer but the doctor confirmed that it wasn’t.”

“It wasn’t kidney failure or thyroid diseases either.” Joy clicked her tongue. “The doctors can’t make a diagnosis. They don’t know what’s happening.” Irene remembers the sketchbook that Seulgi had given her months ago.

Wendy wearing a hospital gown, sitting in a hospital room.

“Seulgi, you knew she was sick since months ago?” Irene shot up, anger in her voice. She coughed out and reached out for support and she grabs the bedpost. Seulgi stayed calm, eyeing her. “I didn’t. At that time, she wasn’t feeling much until she collapsed from not eating. I thought that was the reason. But the thing is, Joohyun-”

“She has the same symptoms as you.”

“What?”

“If we’re not wrong, she heard your voice, didn’t she?”

Irene didn’t answer.

Seulgi sighed. “Then we won’t find anything physically wrong with her, naturally. But we’ve never encountered a case like this.”

“We had to do our own research. We even asked the Ocean about the song that we’ve been singing for years. It’s heartbreaking but I thought we would get a clue from them.” Joy sounded stressed. “It’s a lullaby for a death march, I tell you.”

Are you tired of your current life?

Come, it’s time to end the strife.

Let your graveyard be the sea,

There’s no more reason to worry.

Spare one life for a thousand,

And that one life will for a century, be bound,

With the heavy burden on her back, until she cannot stand her ground.

Come, it’s time to end the strife,

Let your graveyard be the sea,

There’s no more need to worry.

“It’s not related to what’s happening to you and Shon Wendy, but we told the Ocean these things and it seems like She knows something.” Seulgi replied after Joy finishes reading the lyrics.

“This is bullsh-t, fam. I swear.” Joy muttered.

“As a human, she’d be dying earlier than you, Joohyun. But it’s still vague why the both of you may be dying in the first place.”

Irene already knew that without them saying it out loud. Her blue eyes darkened and her skin paled. She tried getting up, making Seulgi scold her. “What are you trying to do?” The room swirled in Irene’s eyes and she felt as if her whole body was sensitive and Seulgi’s touch felt like a stab. With a raspy voice, she said, “Take me to the Ocean.”

~.~.~.~

You’ve gotten so much worse…

The Ocean sounded frightened. Irene stood near the shore, screaming until it hurt the others’ ears. “Knives! The waters feel like knives digging into my skin!” She freaked out. Wait-

This should be more comfortable.

This time the waters were lukewarm and Irene could feel the sting less. When they found themselves underwater once more, Irene immediately blurted out, “I’m going to die.”

“You won’t die! It’s just-maybe it’s still curable!” Yeri was frantic and it made Irene feel sad for a moment. They were losing hope. She felt so useless. Irene stayed afloat in Her embrace, enjoying the warmth she hadn’t had for a while now.

She could feel the Ocean going through her thoughts, channeling it to the others as well. Irene didn’t hold back anymore. She let the memories of Wendy surface, becoming crystal clear as she remembers. The heavy burden that Irene had carried alone for years turned dark as Wendy filled her thoughts, comforting her with just an image of her smile.

The Ocean felt what Irene felt when she had first met Wendy in the library back in the university Irene had enjoyed visiting. How it was endearing of Wendy trying to make conversation with her whilst stuttering, her brows furrowed and her plump lips pouty. They saw how Irene’s heart was at ease as she met Wendy again under the tree, joy found in her demeanor as they danced goofily while others laughed at them but the two of them didn’t even mind. They saw the fling of texts she and Wendy had almost a year ago now; from Irene’s long-lost phone. They saw how Wendy had never left her mind, from their promises, to their date back in the port city, Calais. Where Wendy had stared at her in awe and with pride, as if they were an old, married couple trying to impress each other still as they continually tried to find out more about each other.

They saw how Irene was shaken up when they went to the ice cream parlor and felt the electricity going through Irene’s body when she and Wendy held hands. They saw the way Irene kissed Wendy and how the human kissed her back; they felt Irene’s longing, they felt Irene’s walls that she had built for years falling and she cries remembering how she wanted the moment to last forever.

She remembers the lingering touches.

And she genuinely couldn’t hide how much she missed Wendy. They saw how much Irene missed her. Irene felt the Ocean recoil back at the sadness that Irene had been fighting for her friends’ sake as well as for Hers. They saw her nightmares and the thoughts of wanting to die day after day. They saw how much she wanted to let go of Wendy but the moment she imagines her with someone else, she only held onto her tighter.

They felt her losing hope. They saw how she gave up her sword, knowing that she will lose against time itself for their love was only short-lived. Now knowing that Wendy was dying-

Knowing that there was almost no way to prevent it, hurts. Did Wendy think about her? Did Wendy forget about her? Did she think Irene was a traitor for leaving her behind? Did she think Irene was dead? That she drowned in the sea?

Irene felt as if her soul was slipping away.

“…You never told us…that you were going through so much.” Seulgi choked and Irene opened her eyes to see her sisters tearing up, crying. “How-How could you love someone so much? When you’ve only met for a few days? Not even continuous!” Seulgi could not understand.

How?

Why?

Did time matter?

“I don’t think it matters how long you’ve known each other.” Irene answered, gazing longingly above the waters.

“You could be with someone for years and it would feel as if it was short. You could be with someone for months, and it could feel like forever. A few days with her felt like more than a lifetime.”

Joy sat down; teeth gritted and Irene crouched and wiped the tears off of her face. “Why are you crying, Joy?” “I-I…All this time…I blamed you for not snapping out of whatever depressing thing you were going through.” Joy clutched her heart, tears pooling out of her eyes.

“Every day…I blamed you for being too negative-I thought it would be easy to let go because I’ve never felt what you felt…I couldn’t put myself in your shoes…And I feel so sorry! I’m so sorry, I swear-”

Irene shushed her by pulling her in a hug. “I can’t blame you, you know. You don’t know what I felt. Some people would try to understand but it’s still not the same as feeling it.”

“It’s…It’s too heavy.” Yeri stuttered, sobbing uncontrollably and Irene had to stop herself from smiling, seeing the two strong headed girls a crying mess.

Seulgi looked away. “I…don’t know if your feelings are that deep for Shon Wendy or if the Ocean amplifies them. It’s…just too much for me.” ‘My feelings seem to be nothing in comparison.’

“Seulgi…” Irene was speechless.

Those are her feelings. I did nothing.

Yeri sat down as well. “Can Irene just go back to her?” She pleaded. “She’s dying. We all know that. I may have been a Siren for just a little while but we’re all connected.”

No. She’s Mine. We’ll fix her.

“With what?” Besides Seulgi’s own feelings, she knew better that there was nothing they could do about this. “Is her feelings not enough for you to understand?” Irene stayed silent, but as if a dam burst, she had filled the water with the last drop of her love for Wendy.

All of them suddenly felt several things at once as the Ocean seems to also have broken down. Guilt and shame as if She was truly hiding something from them. Irene smiled slightly, as if she wasn’t dying and she was going to see Wendy one last time.

“What are You not telling us?”

It’s impossible. Just as Seulgi had stated. How can a girl love you and see past the beauty that I’ve given you? Especially if you couldn’t speak with her?

“You...Do You really know something, after all?” Yeri squints.

“I have always loved You. Even when you did not understand my feelings. No matter how hard You made my life to be, I knew better that it was because You loved me and tried protecting me. The least you could do is tell me what’s happening with me.”

…It’s true. Your voice had poisoned Wendy Shon. No human can do anything about this. As to why you are dying as well-

The lack of her voice is killing you too. Your voice has left an essence in her and that is why.

“Th-Then I have to be changed back.” Irene admits. She would die without Wendy’s voice and vice versa. If that is the case then it means that Irene had to be turned back into human in order for the poison to stop spreading. Her current voice’s effect would lose its touch.

Yes.

“…It’s a bit funny, you know.” Irene pauses. “That the poison is also the cure. That she wounds me as much as she heals me.”

I cannot understand. This is not My work. This is not any others’ works as well. This is supposed to be beyond human capability. Your souls have been tied together and I could only conclude that both of you did that to yourselves. I do not doubt your ability to love, Joohyun, but if truly, that is what you feel for her, such pure and true love…then it’s either you both will strive together or perish together.

“I…I don’t…follow.”

If she didn’t hear your voice, she would have been fine. But since she has, and as you’ve heard, she’s dying. It might take years but when it happens, you will also die. Or if you had disobeyed Me to the point that I would have had to kill you, then she would die with you. That is what I mean when your souls are tied together. One of you can’t live without the other.

The waters suddenly felt heavy and made the Sirens collapse on the ground.

I can’t understand. I have given you everything I have, even My love. How can this Wendy Shon love you as I have? More than I have? I knew that there would come a time when you will have one night stands and passionate thoughts but I thought they would pass.

I thought that there would no more be any room for anyone else’s love.

“There’s always room for love.” Yeri whispered. Irene glanced at her and Yeri looked at her in admiration. “…Even if it’s just a tiny crack on the door.” Irene never thought that her words would be speaking to her.

And I have seen it. The Ocean agreed. But it doesn’t change the fact that I cannot give you what you want, Joohyun.

“Why not?!” If Joy could hit the Ocean, then maybe she already would have.

I can’t release her.

I might be wrong. What if she changes back and her voice does nothing?

“Why are we even debating this?” Joy face palmed. They all knew that the Ocean was covering up again. “Then at least both of them will be together and die together. No offense, unnie.” Joy directed the last one to Irene.

“None taken.”

Irene won’t remember her. Have you forgotten that when I release you, you forget everything and start anew?

“If what you said was right…If their love is true and pure, then maybe the mind will forget, but the heart will remember.” Seulgi had said that so confidently that she even convinced Irene.

It would be worse for Me!

The Ocean was a body of water. She had no eyes but the Sirens could feel her crying. Her voice echoed and made the waters shake, the stones move and the plants rustle.

I have no equals. You are all I have. But you avoid Me. And I understand why. I understand that you hate the things that you are forced to do. But have you all tried once to imagine being Me?

“But we understand Your burden. We carry them too!” Joy exclaimed, stomping.

No. You only feed Me. For years I have enslaved and was unnoticed. Unthanked. Seldom did the girls that serve Me gave Me a second thought. That is why I do not want to let go of you, Joohyun. Someday, I’ll be a memory.

I’m not ready to be forgotten.

Irene felt conflicted. Her soul mate was dying and she will too, with their absence. But leaving the Ocean without a companion seems also just as cruel. “You push us away.” Seulgi stated softly. “How can we love You if you keep pushing us away?”

The Ocean stayed silent.

Seulgi and Joy closed their eyes, a silent agreement between the two of them. Irene just stared at the fishes passing by. They looked so free that she thought she’d want to be reincarnated as a fish in the next life.

And then someone clapped her hands.

“Irene said you could be the mother I long to have.” They all look behind them, seeing Yeri standing, with her blue eyes determined and courageous. “You know that my mother wasn’t acting like how she was supposed to. When You took me in, I didn’t think of you as my Mother until Irene told me that You can be.”

I could!

“But you threatened to kill me. Even my own mother didn’t do that.”

How else would I get your obedience?

“By caring for them. By making them feel that You truly love them.” Irene answered although her voice was already tired. “I’m sure by now, they understand what You feel. They also love You, but You instill fear in them.”

Should I not have?

“Fear casts out any form of love. But love casts out any kind of fear.”

The tallest among them waved her hand, disrupting the calmness of the waters. “I have always been defiant. “ Joy started curtly, glancing at Irene.

“But if I didn’t love You, then I wouldn’t be here. But we’re still here. We chose to stay. We’re not like the past Sirens whom You have had to do away with.” Joy answered, sighing.

“If You spoke to us like this years ago, then maybe you would have had a handful of daughters eager to be with You.”

Irene felt the Ocean warming up, Her attention turning to her. I will miss you. Every day I will. “And I know in my heart that I will miss You as well.” Irene said softly.

But I can’t.

“What do you mean?” This was ridiculous.

I can’t release someone before a hundred years. It would kill you instantly. The thing inside you was made as so that I would take it after a hundred years.

Irene felt as if her heart stopped altogether. “Then…It’s useless?” Yeri whispered. The waters suddenly feel a hundred times heavier.

There is a way. But I know you would not like it.

“Tell us.” Seulgi insisted. In the end, she would do anything for Irene to be happy.

Someone close to Joohyun’s years must sacrifice herself in order to complete her century.

~.~.~.~

A feeling of dread filled Seulgi as everyone looked at her. “There must be another way.” Irene insisted, her eyes wild. Joy had unconsciously placed her hand on her. The monolid-eyed girl couldn’t process it. She was in shock.

There isn’t. The Ocean sounded as if She was in pain, and maybe She was. From the very beginning I tried to find any way to release someone without killing them if ever something comes up.

But this is the first time it’s happened and I don’t know any other way. Losing two children at once would kill Me if I was human.

“Unnie, don’t worry. We’ll find a way.” Joy was definitely unsure. Looking back, Seulgi had spent her Siren life following Irene around. She had admired the girl for being strong. She had admired the girl for caring others more than herself.

And that admiration soon turned into feelings of love.

‘Unnie is so pretty.’ When Irene laughs, it made Seulgi feel more alive than ever. She gave Seulgi the reason to continue living. She had thought that after Irene gets release, Seulgi would watch over her afar.

“Seulgi, how’s your first month being a Siren?”

Seulgi pouted. Both of them sat on a bridge made of rocks. They watched the Ocean sparkle as birds flew ahead of them. Besides her stood Irene, a silly smile on her face, her arms crossed as well.

“I feel…more alive than when I was human. I’m also starting to forget about my family.” Seulgi frowned. She did not know if that was a good thing; forgetting the person who gave birth and raised you.

“I guess I could understand. But at the same time, I can’t. My family wasn’t really close.” Irene’s ebony hair was braided, and above her head was a flower crown that they made together under the sea. “But we’re a family now, right?” Irene grinned cheekily, and Seulgi blinked. “We are?”

“Of course we are!” Irene looked offended.

…

“Joohyun, what do I do when your term ends?”

This was the first time Seulgi thought about the future. They were in Irene’s study, in Bayonne, a port city in Europe. Irene blinked as she wore a pair of glasses in which she thought she looked cool in.

“What do you mean, Seulgi?”

“Wh-When your term ends. I’ll be alone…” Seulgi was radiating off the sadness and loneliness that she felt. They’ve been together for twenty years now. They only had each other. Irene was the only one who understood her.

“You won’t. We’ll have other sisters.” She replied softly, turning the page of a history book with a ‘fweep’ sound. Irene sat near the fireplace, her body covered in an orange glow and it made Seulgi adore her beauty more.

She was the epitome of perfection.

“Sisters.” Seulgi muttered. Irene raised a brow. “Well, if my term does end, then you’ll be watching over me, right? All you have to do is remind me that my best friend is going to protect me even if we don’t know each other anymore.”

Seulgi leaned on the doorframe, staring at the cackling fire. “I would. You said you’d be my family.”

“And I’ll protect you.” Irene flipped the page again.

Seulgi smiled at the promise. “Joohyun, I love you.” Irene pauses, snickering for a moment. “What’s with that all of a sudden?” Seulgi’s ears heated up and she fans herself. “I-I mean it, though…W-What’s amusing?”

Irene laughed a little louder. “You’ve never said that before.”

“Well, there’s always a first, right?”

“Mhmm. I love you too.”

…

“You like Joohyun unnie, don’t you?”

Seulgi jumped, almost dropping two giant bowls of popcorn she was struggling to get out of the kitchen. She turned to see Joy standing behind her, arms crossed. "W-What?" Seulgi tried not to sweat or looked guilty but she was never a good actress to begin with. "Don't lie to me, unnie. I can see it in your face whenever you look at her. It's different from when you look at me." Judging from the tone of Joy's voice, she was annoyed. Seulgi looked down at the popcorn. "...Years." She mumbled.

"Years?"Joy prompted.

"I've realized that for years. I just don't admit it." Joy chuckled as Seulgi tapped the outer part of the bowl. "But you just did."

"Do you think that it's bad?" Her voice was small and hesitant, softening Joy's heart.

"Loving someone is a choice. In the end, the results would be up to you. Do you plan to tell her?" Although Joy expected the answer, she asked out of courtesy.

"Is it supposed to be mandatory? Telling someone they like them? And then getting hurt after?" Although Seulgi was grinning, her eyes disappearing, there was still a hint of sadness in her voice as it cracked. "Well-" Joy walked closer until she grabbed a handful of popcorn, popping one into .

"If you don't tell her now, Someone else will. By that time you would have already been too late."

She patted Seulgi on the back after a heartbeat. "You're going to watch a movie together today, right? Ill leave you two alone.

 

At that time, Seulgi thought none of what Joy had said. "Okay, thanks Joy."

 

She didn’t think she’d die first.

The Ocean gave her a few days to think about it. But Seulgi had already made her decision.

“You won’t die, Seulgi. I won’t let you.” Irene was too stubborn for her own good.

Even after all these years, Irene still remembered her promise to protect Seulgi from any harm.

Her thoughts drifted to Wendy Shon.

‘Ah, who are you?’

Seulgi stepped inside the hospital room awkwardly, holding the sketchpad in her arms. Wendy smiled at her kindly even though she was a stranger. Seulgi flipped open the sketchpad.

My name is Seulgi. I’m Irene’s sister.

“Irene? You mean Joohyun?”

She sounded surprised and relieved at the same time. Seulgi nodded, forcing a smile. “How is she? Is she alright? I didn’t see her after that incident when I fell into the ocean…” Wendy gripped on the white sheets tightly, brown eyes filled with worry.

She’s alright. She sent me to check on you. She’s sick right now.

“Sick? Gosh, I’m also sick.” Wendy chuckled but there was a hint of worry in her voice. “Tell her I’m fine. I’ll wait for her.” Wendy grinned.

What if she never comes again?

“Well, that’s her, isn’t it? Not me.” Wendy did not hesitate to answer. “But I want her to know that I’ll wait even if she won’t anymore.”

The moment the three did not find Seulgi in the beach house on the fourth day, they immediately dived into the waters.

“What do I need to do?”

“Seulgi!”

Irene’s eyes widened in shock. “You don’t have to do this. I can’t lose you. I don’t want-not after everything-” Seulgi blinked twice, her eyes glistening. She wiped them away with her hand and grinned. “But you don’t want to lose Wendy either.”

“At least, if it’s me, then both of you will live. One life in exchange for many, right?” Seulgi laughed weakly, her hands shaking. She stretched out her arm to silence Irene and she looks at Joy fondly.

“You’ll be alright without me, right?”

Joy’s lips quivered as she furiously shook her head. “. Why do you think I’m still alive even after all those partying? And here you are leaving me and Yeri! I can’t live a day without you! Stupid bear!” Seulgi’s heart ached. But there’s a reason for everything, right? Seulgi glanced at Yeri who was trying not to cry.

“It’s not goodbye, you know.” Seulgi said softly.

“It is.” Yeri said. ‘Okay, maybe it is.’

“Joy, I’ve looked after you for years. You know I love all of you. But if it’s to let Irene live, as well as Wendy, then I’m willing.” Joy looked so angry that Seulgi might have died at her hands rather than the Ocean’s.

“Joy, I’m sorry for doing this to you, alright?” Seulgi caressed Joy’s tear-stained face. She smiled despite the dreadful feeling. “But you’re strong. I know you are. We have little Yeri here. Who’s going to lead her? You’re the only one I know capable. You understand the situation we’re in, don’t you?”

‘I don’t.’ Joy wanted to yell but she knew that Seulgi was right.

“Stupid bear. Promise you’ll watch over us, alright?” Joy shut her eyes tightly, unable to look at Seulgi’s own blue ones.

“I would even if you didn’t tell me too.”

She tapped Yeri’s head with her fingers. “Yeri, promise you’ll watch over Joy for me, right? You know how impulsive she is.” Yeri nodded, staying mum. But her eyes told Seulgi that she’d miss her too. “If you need a sleeping buddy, Joy is always present.”

Joy mumbled something under her breath. ‘I’d rather die but I need Yeri too.’

Seulgi turned to Irene whose tears weren’t stopping any soon. “Joohyun unnie. We’ve been together for seventy years.” Irene sniffled, wiping her tears away. “Don’t tell me you’re serious, Seulgi.” Seulgi frowned.

“When it comes to you, I’ll always be serious.”

“Why?”

Because I love you.

“There’s no greater love than for someone to lay down her life for her friend.” Seulgi answered.

“I’ll miss you.”

‘You won’t even remember.’

“I’ll miss you too.” Seulgi chuckled.

‘But it’s fine. Doing something for you is a great honor. I’m returning a favor.’

Seulgi, Joohyun, let’s start.

Before Seulgi started feeling drowsy, she remembered collapsing on the ground, the last words she heard being, Love is tested by many things. You’ve shown how pure yours is. You have done a great job, Seulgi. I love you and you don’t know how proud you’ve made Me.

‘It was a pleasure serving You with her.’

‘I just wished we had a little more time.’

~.~.~.~

‘We’re going to be together soon. I can feel it.’

A girl who looked like she was in her twenties looked out the window excitedly. Her brown eyes lit up for the first time in months; her hollow cheeks did not keep her from smiling cheekily as her frail and bony fingers started drumming on the window post excitedly.

‘Who?’ Another woman who was in her thirties came in, curiosity on her face and yet at the same time it’s as if she knows what her niece was talking about. She held a tray of food in her hands and she sets it down on the desk near the window.

‘Her. I don’t know why but I think I’m going to be meeting her again.’

‘How are you so sure?’

Her sandy blonde hair, although fading, seems to be glowing again. ‘Somehow, I know. I know she’s still alive and she’s coming.’

‘Joohyun and I will be meeting again. This time she’ll stay.’

Irene woke up to the noisy splashing of water. She felt as if she was floating but at the same time, was in a speedboat. She looked around and screamed.

“W-Where am I?!”

“U-Uh…” She grabbed the edge of the speedboat, frantically looking around. In front of her, stood a girl who looked younger, glancing at her. “I-Who are you?” Irene was flabbergasted. She turned slightly as the speedboat rocked from side-to-side and she sees another girl, a tall one behind her, whose gaze was on the ocean. Her long hair was swept to the side and she laid her chin on her hand. She had a baby face paired up with her height. Huh.

“Wh-Who are you people?” Irene felt scared. She hugged her legs to her chest and inched away from the two. The taller one glanced at her, as if she only noticed that Irene was just there. When Irene looked at her front, the girl was frowning. She wore a flowery one-piece dress, her skin a bit tan and she looked at Irene with a sad look in her blue eyes.

Blue.

“W-Where are we going?” Irene stuttered, her hands trembling. The girl glanced behind Irene and the latter blinked. She felt a shadow looming over her and saw the taller girl blankly staring ahead. Her eyes were also a swirling blue but it was puffy red as if she had just finished crying.

The stranger stretched out her arm and pointed forward, making Irene look at where she was pointing at.

They were heading to a port it seems.

“What-What are we going to do there?” Her face scrunched up in confusion but the vibe of the two girls didn’t seem to bother her anymore. “Can you at least tell me who am I?” Irene grimaced.

She couldn’t remember anything.

What happened?

Who was she?

Who were these girls?

No one spoke afterwards. The engine roared, it’s sound loud and drowning out any other voices, and it comforted Irene because it broke the silence. The girl in front walked passed her, and Irene secretly peeks at them and saw them using their hands.

‘Ah, sign language.’

That’s why.

The taller looked a bit irritated as if the shorter one was telling her something that wasn’t in their plan; the shorter looked firm, her hands moving faster before Irene could decipher (it’s not as if she could, though.) Then both of them stopped.

They faced Irene and she quickly ducked her head. She hears a sigh and saw the older one nodding along, massaging her head as if she had a headache. They closed in on Irene which bothered her.

“Wh-Why are you looking at me like that?”

She squealed but realized that the taller one just shot up only to walk past her and turn off the engine.

They’ve arrived.

~.~.~.~

‘They don’t seem so bad.’

The shorter one (although still taller than Irene) reached out to help her get off the speedboat while the taller one stood behind her as if she expected Irene to stumble backwards and fall. “T-Thanks.” Irene tried for a smile.

She felt less burdened when the two of them smiled as well. They were at the edge of a white sand beach, in the far corner away from the larger ships leaving the dock. They walked for a little while, Irene shuffling behind the two.

“E-erm…pardon me for asking, but where are we going?”

Now that Irene observed, the two were wearing sparkling gowns that definitely caught attention as it shimmered under the sunny afternoon. The tall one wore a blue, long and backless gown that Irene was sure she wouldn’t be able to afford. The shorter one’s hair was braided with seashells which amazed Irene; she wore a black, long-sleeved dress. Both of them didn’t wear any shoes.

Irene looked down and saw that she was wearing a black and white striped sweater and black leggings. She looked like a peasant compared to the two. The taller just gestured for Irene to follow and not ask questions which made Irene keep silent. So she looked around the place, finding the beach eerily familiar.

“Oof!” She bumped into one of them and fell backward, landing on her . The two girls paid her no heed and just started talking in sign language again while Irene pouted. ‘So much for not being so bad.’

In a swift motion, the taller one knelt down and stared at Irene in the eyes. She pointed towards a lighthouse on the other side of the beach, confusing the woman. “Me? Go there?” The one in black nodded grimly. The one in blue suddenly took Irene’s hands and placed something inside it, and with both of her hands, she closed Irene’s.

A piece of paper. Crumpled and small, like it was hastily torn off a notepad.

“What’s this?” Irene looked at it in suspicion.

The girl seemed to be contemplating whether to say something or not. opened and closed again, mimicking a fish. As if she was stopping herself from saying something to Irene.

The shorter-whom Irene was sure was younger-tapped the girl in blue on the shoulder. The former looked up to see her shook her head. As if to say, Don’t. The one wearing the blue gown clenched her teeth and she closes her eyes, taking a deep breath.The next thing Irene knew-the moment she blinked, they ran away, towards the ocean.

Irene’s eyes widened when they dived.

“He-Hey what, where are you guys going?!”

Irene screamed and she scrambles to her feet and runs, almost falling in the process. When she reached the shallow part of the water, she squints, only to find the two gone. The water enveloped her feet and she realizes that she was also barefoot. The lower part of her leggings were drenched. She looks back at the paper in her hands.

Someone’s waiting for you at the lighthouse.

That’s where your home is.

-J, Y & S

“Lighthouse?” Irene murmured, puzzled. “On the other side…”

The lighthouse glints and shines, almost blinding her. A bubbling excitement suddenly feels her, making her whole body shake as if tremors from an earthquake. Irene folded the paper once again, and she runs.

She runs as if she finally reached her destination.

It took her more than twenty minutes to reach the lighthouse at the edge of the cliff. Her sweat continually fell off her face and dripped. Her brows were still furrowed and she tries to catch her breath, almost collapsing when she saw a bungalow just below her supposedly destination according to the note.

She doesn’t understand why she’s trusting those two who just left her at the beachside, but she had nowhere else to go to but here.

Her hands were shaking and her lips quivered as if a dam was about to burst. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest and she blinks away tears.

The moment she reached the doorstep, she had collapsed on the wooden floor, from exhaustion and fatigue. She doesn’t remember if she ate or not. She doesn’t remember drinking anything at all.

Her body felt like it was in need of nutrients and minerals.

“H-Help.” She blurted out, her hand knocking on the door.

She shouldn’t have run continuously. It felt like she was going to die any moment now, and she grits her teeth, feeling nauseous and almost vomiting bile. Her vision blurred but before she passed out, the door opened and a woman with raven hair came out and gasped when she saw Irene losing consciousness.

‘I keep blacking out it seems.’

.

“She moved.”

Irene opened her eyes groggily. was parched and her body felt weak as if she had just awoken from an eternity coma. When her vision cleared, she sees a wooden ceiling and she felt blankets around her, the sheets of the bed rustling.

“She’s awake!”

Irene yelped, startled. She quickly turned her head to see a tall man who was observing her with a concerned look. He had shaggy brown hair and tan skin. He wore a plain shirt and khaki shorts.

“Long time no see, Joohyun. Are you okay? I called Seungwan for you.” His voice was clear and in the midrange. Seungwan? Joohyun? Was that her name? Irene blinked in confusion, opening to speak and only to be cut off by the loud banging of the door and the sound of footsteps rushing in-

“Joohyun!”

Irene’s heart almost stopped. She was taken aback when a woman who looked younger suddenly barged in the room and enveloped her in a hug. Her eyes widened and she felt mixed emotions swirling inside her-

Who-

What-

Why-

Did she know them?

“Nickhun dear, get a notepad quickly! Seungwan’s still frozen outside, take her in!” The woman urged. When she retracted from the hug, she cupped Irene’s face, examining it. “We haven’t seen you in months! I thought you died saving Seungwan!” She choked, her brown eyes teary and it warmed Irene a bit.

But who was Seungwan?

Before she was about to talk, from the corner of her eyes, she spots another woman.

“Seungwan! Joohyun seems to be doing okay!”

Seungwan was very pale. She was wearing a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, revealing her bony and frail-looking arms. Her hair was an ombre mix of brown to blonde locks and her eyes were the color of chocolate-

She looked as if she was recovering from a fever or so.

“Joohyun?” She croaked out weakly and shakily which made Irene melt a bit. Her voice was beautiful.

“Uncle, quick! Get a pencil and notepad!” Seungwan tugged on Nickhun’s shirt, her eyes still not leaving Irene’s.

“Why-What’s the notepad for?” Irene stuttered, her voice airy and hoarse.

The three strangers stiffened and paused. They looked shocked. Seungwan looked at her, baffled. “J-Joohyun you’re-you-you can talk…” Disbelief was present in her voice and it’s as if Irene had just dropped a bomb.

“Y-Yes…I can talk…Am I not supposed to? And-where-how do you know me?” Irene’s lips quivered as she stared at them with unease. “Wait-Do you not remember us?” The woman with raven hair had wide open.

“Am-Am I supposed to know you? Is-Is my name Joohyun?” Irene felt a tad bit guilty but it’s not as if she knew what happened either. Seungwan was the first to snap out of it and she treads towards Irene carefully.

Irene didn’t feel any danger at all.

“Joohyun, you don’t remember me?” Her voice was too familiar to Irene. As if it was her own. As if she had memorized the sound once before.

“You’re…You’re Seungwan, right?” She glances at the two spectators who frowned at her and then at Seungwan-a crestfallen look on her face as if she had lost the last bit of hope that she was holding too.

Irene pitied her.

“Well yes…but, you don’t remember me?” She tried for a smile which didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Irene leaned closer, closing her eyes. “Your voice…I think I’m supposed to know it. Your voice feels like coming home.”

Was it enough?

To know a person by his or her voice?

Seungwan blinked, a lone tear rolling down her eye. Irene wipes it away and Seungwan cracks a smile.

“I-Is that the only thing?”

“Some girls took me here. They told me someone was waiting for me at the lighthouse…Said this was home.”

When Irene looked down, she realized that she had changed out of the striped sweat and into a thin, cotton shirt, similar to Seungwan’s. Then she spots something written on her wrists.

You are Joohyun.

She is Seungwan.

The handwriting was superbly pretty but she couldn’t recognize if it was her own or not. She lifted her arms up. “Look.” Seungwan gently held her arms, rubbing the writing that didn’t seem like it’ll be erased soon.

“…Did they do this?”

“I’m not sure. I can’t recognize it if it’s mine.”

Irene felt sorry.

As if she had done so many wrongs that she can’t remember. The moment Seungwan locked gazes with her, her grip on Irene’s wrist tightened, but not enough to hurt her.

“Your eyes. They’re still the unchanging blue that I’ve known.”

Irene squints. Were her eyes blue? She didn’t notice. But the way Seungwan spoke her name-The way she held Irene’s hands with familiarity and comfort-

Maybe this was the person those two were saying in the letter. ‘But the paper had three initials…’

And she returns it.

She moves her hands and twists here wrists slightly and holds Seungwan’s hands in hers.

“If it is…true that they say you’re the person who’s waiting for me, I think that’s what matters. I may not remember anything but you’ll help me, won’t you?”

It’s as if Seungwan’s world crumbles and she breaks down in front of Irene. The two spectators quietly went out the room, giving the two a room for themselves. Irene could feel Seungwan’s whole body shake as if she had been keeping everything she was feeling bottled up inside.

And Irene suddenly felt like her walls were breaking.

“You know just what to say, don’t you?” Seungwan laughs through tears. “The first time I hear you talk with that amazing voice of yours and it turns out to be like this.”

“Is it funny?” Irene tilts her head, raising a brow.

Seungwan shook her head.

“I just…I’m looking forward to our lifetime together.”

“A lifetime…” Irene mutters. Somehow those words felt right. As she stares into Wendy’s honest eyes, a wide grin on her plump lips, the pale color of her skin suddenly turning back into a normal hue and it’s as if her hollow cheeks didn’t matter anymore. Irene found herself thanking whoever sent her here.

She smiles back, opening and-

“Okay, Seungwan. A lifetime with you doesn’t sound bad.”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

A/N:

This went through many revisions.

Which is why it took so long. I sincerely ask for your forgiveness *Bows*

And this is heavily unedited (Like all my other works :x) Obviously I'm rusty and I apologize for that too *Bows again*

This is dedicated to a giant baby.

*Flies away*

And for those asking about Taeyeon, I'll leave it to your imaginations.