Changkyun told me he kept dreaming of the incident day. He said in his dream, i really hate him. Once he shots himself, I laughs without mercy at him. Then he saw I walked pass by him and I said that he should die as he kept troubling me since our parent left us.

 

I left him dying alone in that place, along with darkness. It’s scaring him as he saw himself lying on his own pool of blood. He kept calling out my name but I didn’t appear until at a time changkyun said he felt like someone pulled his spirit out of his body. It was very hurting. He screamed and even cried because it was too painful. Then only he will wake up from his sleep.

 

Because of that, changkyun didn’t sleep at all. Everytime he sleeps, the nightmare will appear again. Then I remember that Minhyuk and Hyungwon even gave him sedatives before this. No, I gotta tell them not to give him anymore. Changkyun will sleep by his own when he feels too tired. Sleeping is a scaring thing to do right now. That’s why too he kept crying yesterday - he needs me and I came late.

 

Poor changkyun, i told him for times that I didn’t hate him because if I am, I won’t ask jooheon to call the ambulance, I won’t beg at Minhyuk and Hyungwon to give their best to save him and also, I won’t trouble myself to make him awake. Because I love and need him. The nightmare just lied to him. The nightmare jealous of our relationship. Changkyun, I love you no matter what had happened. You are the reason for why I was working so hard back then to make us survive in this world.

 

Changkyun sleeps in my embraces. I don’t think he is comfortable in this position but surprisingly, he sleeps longer than I thought. If this makes him feels calm, I will to stay at his side for days. If this could prevent the nightmare from coming, I will to lie for hours together with him on this bed - even though my back kinda hurts right now - it’s okay. I giggle at how I’m behaving right now.

 

Sleep well baby. You have always be my priority since forever. I don’t think I can get marry if you keep resist to grow up. Boy you’re already 20. I kiss his forehead before I fall asleep too, quite tired from a sleepless night - working too hard yesterday.

 

 

Kihyun wakes up when he feels changkyun is moving slightly. “Are you up kyunnie?” kihyun rubs his eyes and looks at his hand watch, it’s 8.55 a.m. His head feels heavy as he just sleep for only 20 minutes.

 

“Kihyun hyung, I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

 

 

“No it’s okay. I didn’t realize I had fall asleep.”

 

Changkyun looks down. “kihyun hyung lies to me.” Changkyun knows that kihyun is tired from watching and accompanying him since last night. He wants to let kihyun to go home but at the same time, he still need kihyun at his side. He is mad at his selfish thought.

 

“Why are you seem not in good mood kyunnie? Did the nightmare appeared again?” Kihyun touches Changkyun’s cheek. Changkyun shakes his head before he starts to sniff.

 

“Why are you crying dear?? Is there any part of your body that’s hurting?” Kihyun quickly get down from the bed to call for help but he stops when changkyun's cry get harder. Kihyun walks back to changkyun and hugs him. “Why are you like this kyunnie? Don’t cry dear… you make me worry..! Tell me what have made you become sad. I’ll give my best to help you..!”

 

“Hyung… why you didn’t hate me..?”

 

Changkyun’s word makes Kihyun lets changkyun off from his hug. Kihyun grabs changkyun’s shoulder. “What are you talking about? Why should I hate you?” Kihyun frowns at changkyun.

 

“After what I’ve done to you, you could just left me that day. I deserve to die, I don’t deserve to live anymore moreover if I have to live as your younger brother. I almost killed you back then..!”

 

“So what?! I've already letting you got treated and now you’re awake. If I really want you to die, I won’t let myself gone through so much trouble before this just to make your brain produces a response again..!”

 

"But hyung,.."

 

“I’ve said don’t get interrupted with your nightmare, but you seem not to believe me and chose the nightmare to continue with your life path. Don’t make me questions why I had chose to save you!”

 

“Kihyun!” Hyungwon runs to Kihyun side and grabs his arm.

 

“Kihyun, this is hospital. Stop it! If you want to continue then please get out of this room.” Minhyuk comes along after Hyungwon and him heard the commotion from Changkyun’s ward.

 

“Don’t touch me! I’m already making my way.” Kihyun angrily stepping out of the ward and heads straightly to his car.

 

 

“Changkyunnie, what's happen?!”

 

“Hyungs, he’s not guilty. I’m the one who cause him to get mad… Kihyun hyung...” Changkyun cries for kihyun to come back but kihyun really has left him.

 

 

Kihyun madly speeds his car out of the hospital area,