Exo ShowTime filming was over. Despite never admitting, Kyungsoo had loved every bit of the filming. Sure, some of the moments were exaggerated and some were just acted out for the camera. But most of the time they spent for filming had been real. But then it began. The little fights Kris had with their managers. The increasing moments when Kris would lock himself in his room.

Kris had always been introverted. More so than Kyungsoo himself, he believes. So, when he asked Kris if there was something bothering him, he wasn’t surprised to see the older giving him a small smile and shake his head. He should have probed further. He should have demanded an honest answer. He regrets it now.

The whole room was dead quiet. The silence was deafening. No one dared to look at the others. A phone suddenly started ringing, drawing everyone’s attention to it instead. Suho silently picked it out from his pocket and answered it without a word.

“Yes hyung, we will be right out” he mumbled into the phone right before he turned to s.

“Come on guys, we need to go. Kris…Kris won’t be performing with us, as you know. So, let’s do our best to make sure fans don’t feel his absence too much” his voice stammered as he tried to smile.

The performance was over. Backstage, the members were still silent as they reached their assigned room. Kyungsoo was just about to go to Suho when their manager addressed them all.

“Guys, umm…” their manager began, avoiding looking at any of them.

“Kris just filed a lawsuit against SM” he blurted out and turned his head away. There was no sound again, for the second time that day. When no one said anything, the manager continued.

“I’m sorry but you guys need to be here in case you get your first win” he informed them guiltily before leaving them alone.

Tao was the first to cry. The rest followed, no one really bothering to conceal their emotions. Kyungsoo found himself to be on the verge of tears when he saw Suho looking distressed as he hung his head low. It wasn’t hard to see what Suho was probably thinking, blaming himself. But before he can say anything, their manager came back to check on them.

“I’ll stay to go up on stage if we win. Let others go home hyung. They are tired and can’t do this now” Suho announced before the manager could say anything. The manager stared at him for a while before nodding.

“Okay, you stay here. The rest of them can go back and start practicing for the tour. The choreography will change of course and you need all the practice you can get” he said before patting Suho on the back in pity. Everyone, including Kyungsoo looked at their leader in shock, relief and respect evident on their face.

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Kyungsoo didn’t end up crying in front of anyone. He didn’t want to, not when Suho is trying so hard to be strong for them. Not when the Exo-M members are having it harder than him. Baekhyun on the other hand, Kyungsoo found him crying often in his room. He wanted to ignore him. After all, almost everyone in the dorm is crying for a while now. He wasn’t any different. But after the 4^th time he heard him cry, Kyungsoo decided he can’t ignore it anymore. So, he finally went inside Baek’s room, surprising the other as he slammed open the door.

“Kyungsoo…” Baek croaked as he tried to wipe his tears away. Kyungsoo stared at him before sighing and making his way to the bed. Sitting beside Baekhyun, he hesitantly wrapped his hands around Baekhyun’s shoulders.

“Why are you crying alone? You hate being alone, don’t you?” Kyungsoo stated as a matter of fact, staring at Baekhyun like he was pacifying a child. Tears fell faster from Baek’s eyes as he heard this.

“Why…why would he do this Soo? Doesn’t he love us? I thought he does!” Baek whimpered through a runny nose.

“I don’t know why he did this Baek. All I know is that we don’t know his side of the story yet. Let’s wait for him to talk to us okay?” he suggested instead, hugging the crying boy tighter.

Kris never got to explain himself. Whether it was because he didn’t want to, or because he couldn’t, they weren’t sure. But they sure were forbidden to contact Kris. They were asked to unfollow him on every social network. Some members were happy to, still angry over Kris for leaving them. Others, sad as they may be, they had to follow suit.

A few months later, Kyungsoo didn’t know how to react when Luhan announced he was leaving too. He supposes he was sad. He doesn’t really remember. All he remembers was drowning himself in work. He enjoys working. He enjoys being busy. No time to think about things. He knew he smiled less. Especially after the ‘sasaeng fan’ incident, he couldn’t help but be on his toes every time he went out. He knew the members smiled less too. Became quieter than they already were. Well, apart from Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Chen. But Kyungsoo could see they were only being louder to cheer the group up. And he appreciates it, really.

Less than a year later, Tao filed a lawsuit. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but laugh as he heard this, making all the members look at him in bewilderment.

“Okay” he snorted while nodding.

“Is that all hyung? Can I go now? I have movie filming early tomorrow and I want to get some sleep” he continued as he looked at his manager, waiting for his answer.

“Uh… yeah, that’s about it. You can go sleep” the manager stammered as he stared at Kyungsoo in shock.

He could feel every member’s stare on his back as he walked away. To be honest, he doesn’t know why he laughed. His heart constricts as he thinks about Tao leaving. But tears don’t fall. He was still thinking about nothing and everything when he heard Jongin enter their room. He closes his eyes and pretends to be asleep, hoping the younger would stop looking at him.

The next few days, he could see s trying to talk to him, which he carefully avoided, thanks to his schedules. He could tell the members worried for him. He was thankful, but he wished they didn’t want to ‘talk’ to him.

It was a particularly stressful day for Kyungsoo as he could only finish his schedules by 3 AM. When he came back home, the dorm is completely silent. He plopped himself down on the couch, too tired to drag himself to the room. Luckily, tomorrow was his day off. His first one in months. He stared at the ceiling as he lay on his back, too tired to even think.

Baekhyun couldn’t sleep. Though annoyed at first, he was glad about it when he saw Kyungsoo lying on the couch as he came out to get some water. The boy didn’t make a sound as he came in. He proceeded towards the couch and sat beside Kyungsoo as he sat up after seeing Baekhyun.

“Hi” Baekhyun smiled at Kyungsoo as he greeted. Kyungsoo smiled back hesitantly, not bothering to reply.

“Soo, are you okay?” Baekhyun started as he put his hand on Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo stiffened, relaxing after a second and smiling wide.

“Of course, I am Baek, just tired. Nothing sleep can’t cure. Don’t worry about me. I think I’ll go sleep now” Kyungsoo answered, his voice laced with much more chirpiness than needed. He got up to leave when Baekhyun grabbed his hand to pull him back to the seat.

“Soo, I am not letting you escape again. I know you have been avoiding talking to us all. Talk to me Soo! Please!” Baekhyun all but begged as he held Kyungsoo’s hands. Kyungsoo looked down, avoiding Baekhyun’s eyes as he remained silent. Baekhyun sighed.

“I know it’s hard, 3 members leaving in the span of 2 years. But talk to us about it. You never even cried! That’s not healthy you know” Baekhyun continued as his voice raised a little.

“You don’t even smile anymore you know. At least, not genuinely. You don’t have to be strong all the time Soo. Crying isn’t being weak either. Saying ‘it’s hard’ when it is hard isn’t weak either. Just…don’t suffer alone” Baekhyun pleaded him. Tears welled up in Kyungsoo’s eyes as the past 2 years came crashing into him.

They spent two hours in the same position, Baekhyun holding the younger boy as he cried into his chest, patting his back and whispering comforting words into his ears.

At some point of the time, Jongdae stumbled out his room, rubbing his eyes, when he saw the scene. He looked at Kyungsoo crying and his heart hurt for the younger. He caught Baekhyun’s eyes as he looked on and saw him nodding silently, Kyungsoo still in his arms. Jongdae nodded back and quietly returned to his room, happy that Kyungsoo finally talked to someone.

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Okay, I know it was only EXO-K for that win and the members were probably forced to practice for their upcoming tour. But this is just fiction and not real so I made up the scenes as I wanted. J

Also, sorry if the writing’s a little rough. I didn’t have time to edit it.