Donghyuck’s Playlist for Broken Hearts and Broken Dreams

Ending Scene-IU

“I’m sorry.”

******************

“You finish fast.”

“Donghyuck, it’s not what you think.” Mark sighed. He came down to get a glass of water (even if the butler could do it, he went there anyways because suddenly, sleeping was the last thing on his mind). It was 4am, and his head hurt like hell. Donghyuck just so happen to come down to the kitchen for water as well, and the two teenagers finally met after their incredibly awkward encounter featuring a topless heiress.

“Don’t be ashamed. Jaehyun said that there is no shame in finishing too quickly. It gives you an excuse for a second round.”

“Will you shut up and listen to me?” Mark snapped, almost slamming his cup on the counter. “Why are people thinking that Yeri and I have something going on?”

“Because even a blind man in Venezuela can see that she is interested in you, and you seem to respond to her touches.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Think about it, you spent all night with her, dancing in the club. She was practically grinding on you and you didn’t stop her. She got you to drink with her and you even saved her life.”

“How did you know that?”

“My room is right above the servant’s lounge. They talk really loudly when Stephen Colbert is on.” Donghyuck held his glass to his lips.

“Nothing happened between Yeri and I.” Mark said. “She kissed me, and tried to get me to sleep with her, but I said no.”

“Really?” Donghyuck raised an eyebrow. “Woojin said the guys usually don’t say no.”

“And where have you been all night?”

“I was with Woojin.”

“Do you two have something going on?”

“Does it matter?”

“Uhm, yes. He’s a senior and you are a junior.”

“So?” Donghyuck spat out. “It’s not like he’s a 40-something casino owner with business in Mexico.”

“I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” Mark folded his arms.

“Look at the pot calling the kettle black.” Donghyuck’s eyes narrowed into angry slits. “You can see Woojin but you can’t see how Yeri is trying to get in your pants?”

“Hyuck, if anything happens to you, you’re going to be in trouble.”

“I can’t decide if I’m flattered that you finally care about me, or insulted that you think I would be this stupid to get into trouble.”

“Did he say anything to you?”

“Why should you care?”

“Hyuck you’re my friend.”

“Friend?!” Donghyuck slammed his glass on the table. “Now you want to use that word? Since when have you ever cared about me as a friend? Every time it’s always ‘where’s Jaehyun hyung?’ ‘Is he back in college?’ ‘Is he coming back for the weekend?’. When have you ever stopped to ask about me? It’s always about this stupid crush you have on my ing perfect brother!!”

“I have always asked about you! Donghyuck, we grew up together, I do care for you! That’s why I am concerned that you may be with this boy who looks at you like you are a piece of meat!”

“Woojin is not a boy!!” Donghyuck practically screamed. “We are just friends!”

“You liar.” Mark walked over to Donghyuck and pulled his shirt down, revealing a reddish spot near his collarbone. Donghyuck pulled back his shirt defensively.

“Stop that.”

“You can call me a prude but I know what a ing hickey looks like.” Mark growled, letting go off the shirt almost too forcefully. “He kissed you.”

“So what if he did? What’s it to you?”

“Just…” Mark clenched his fist, he couldn’t even put into words why he was so angry. He just didn’t like Woojin and Donghyuck together. He just couldn’t. The thought of the two of them together made his blood boil. He couldn’t explain why, he just didn’t like it.

“If you can’t find something wrong with it then stay out of it.” Donghyuck said. “Woojin has been nothing but kind and sweet to me. I am so sick of waiting for you to notice me when I can easily find someone who does!” he stormed out of the kitchen, tears forming at the sides of his eyes. Mark was going to catch him until he realized something.

Notice me?

Did he…does he…

******************

I should probably explain what happened between Woojin and Donghyuck. Too be honest I didn’t really plan out their story at all. Things kind of happen between them. They always say that I call the shots but I don’t have total control over everything. Somethings happen by themselves, like nuclear fission or natural disasters.

I suppose what happened between them was a side effect of Yeri and Mark’s story, and I was too watching them to notice what happened on the side. By the time I did, Woojin and Donghyuck had gotten closer than expected.

You see, there is one thing Yeri and Donghyuck had in common. Remember how Yeri kept asking Mark why he didn’t want to sleep with her? Whether she was ugly? Or not pretty enough? Why do you think that is? Teenage girls her age have very fragile egos. They are at the age when they realize everything adults tell you as a child was a lie, and reality is harsher than the fairytale fantasies you grow up with. When they tell you “you look perfectly fine” they actually mean “you could be better”. They grow up being told or shown that a certain look was considered beautiful. Thin. Ample bust. Flat stomach. Thigh gaps. Blonde hair. Adults lie and say ‘we love you just the way you are’ to stop you from killing yourself. The same unhealthy standard applies to males.

Donghyuck spent his whole life being compared to his elder brother. The one who is taller. Fitter. With baby like skin. The one who gets good grades without struggling. The one with the dimples and pretty eyes. The one with the deep voice that can calm the ocean and charm the birds from the trees. The one who is so popular in high school that girls fought for the right to give him Valentine’s Day cards. The one who just has to show up and the whole room lights up.

If Jaehyun took everything good, then Donghyuck must have gotten the leftovers. He was not as tall as Jaehyun, he had darker skin, his voice was on a slightly higher pitch and almost husky. He struggled with acne (and still is) and he can’t seem to even score more than a B- for most of his classes. He wasn’t athletic enough, he wasn’t skinny enough and he wasn’t popular enough. To live in the shadows of your perfect brother that everybody fawned over and even your long-time crush was in love with. Imagine how that felt like.

Donghyuck was certain he would never be as good as his elder brother, and that he would always be second best, or the best-worst option. To make up for his short-comings, he used his mouth. That loud, cranky, dirty and savage mouth to attract attention, and it definitely worked of course. Donghyuck became known for his savage comments, playful attitude and loud voice, but he was never known as ‘that guy I want to bring to the senior prom’.

Then came Woojin. He was pretty handsome himself, with dark red highlights in his hair, a cheeky smile and naughty eyes that added to his playboy-ish charm. Donghyuck didn’t exactly have the best impression of him when they first met, but things changed when he started talking to him.

Woojin flirted openly with Donghyuck. He tried calling him ‘sweetie’, ‘hot stuff’, and even ‘gorgeous’. All of those were words Donghyuck have heard people call his brother, not him. Woojin slung his arm around Donghyuck’s shoulder all the time, his teasing fingers rubbing his arm and his smile always directed at him.

While Yeri and Mark were together most of the night, Donghyuck decided to let Woojin talk to him. Why not? After all he was a nice guy, a little cheeky but what the hell so was Donghyuck himself anyways, and he seemed genuinely interested in Donghyuck. Why waste your time with someone who was out of your league?

After the club, Woojin bought Donghyuck home and they spent hours talking about all sorts, from favourite movies, to music, to the weather, to aliens from outer space. Woojin was absolutely fascinated with him, looking at him with amusement and joy in his eyes as Donghyuck rambled on about whatever he wanted.

“Quit looking at me like that.”

“Why should I?” Woojin teased. “Your lips look so cute when they move.”

“You’re like a ert.” Donghyuck blushed. His face felt hot and his heart pounded wildly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“I was just kidding.” Donghyuck laughed. “It’s nice.”

“Me being a ert?”

“No, having someone interested in me.”

“Who wouldn’t be interested in you?” Woojin asked in surprise. “You are the coolest person I have met in a long time. I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.”

“It’s complicated.”

“You like someone.”

“He wouldn’t notice me.”

“It’s his ing loss.” Woojin edged closer, putting his arms around Donghyuck. “He must be blind.” Woojin started Donghyuck’s hair, pulling their faces together, and their eyes fluttered close as their lips met for the first time.

It was messy, and a little painful as they clashed teeth. Woojin’s fingers were wrapped around Donghyuck’s as his lips moved from to his jawline, nibbling and gently. Donghyuck gasped at the sensation. He made out before, but not like this. To be on the receiving end of something so strong, so passionate, was absolutely breath-taking. It was as if Woojin wanted him. Not just want, like you want a toy from a shelf, but actually desire for, like you needed it, like a fish needing air. Woojin held Donghyuck like he was going to disappear into thin air, his lips kissing Donghyuck’s flesh tenderly, as if he was the most beautiful piece of china.

For once Donghyuck felt beautiful, desirable, handsome. He felt wanted.

“M…Mark…”

.

Woojin didn’t hear a word of it but he knew something was wrong when Donghyuck stiffened, realizing what he just said. “Hyuck?”

“I…I…”

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I need to go.” Donghyuck said. “Can you take me home?”

Of course he did. Woojin would do anything Donghyuck said. They parted ways and Woojin tried to apologize for what he did but Donghyuck said it wasn’t his fault. He wanted to find someone to talk to. He wanted to find Mark.

And when he did, you know what he saw.

I don’t necessarily plan heartbreaks, but when they do happen, they hurt like hell.

******************

“You look like this morning.”

“Shut up Jeno. I haven’t had more than two hours of sleep last night.”

“What happened?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

******************

“You did not.”

“I’m not lying to you Renjun. I saw Yeri in his bed, her s hanging out like two sandbags.”

“Did they have ?”

“Mark said they didn’t.”

******************

“Okay I knew Yeri was into you but I didn’t think she would have the balls to do something like that.” Jeno crossed his arms over the dinner table. “A girl like that could get herself a bad reputation.”

“What’s worse is Donghyuck caught us.”

“Oh .”

******************

“Do you like Woojin?” Renjun asked Donghyuck, legs crossed on his bed.

“He’s a great guy, and not a bad kisser.” Donghyuck sighed. “I just can’t believe I did it. I can’t believe I called him Mark.”

“You really should tell Mark how you feel.”

“Why? I already know the answer.”

******************

“It’s his business you know. You really don’t have to your way into this.”

“Jeno, if something happens to Donghyuck I would never forgive myself.”

“Why? That he is interested in ? He’s 17 years old, a growing teenage boy. He’s entitled to feel however he wants about his body.”

“I just don’t like Woojin. He gives me the creeps. He reminds me of those playboys who and dump.”

******************

“Maybe he’s jealous.”

“Of who?”

“Woojin.” Renjun shrugged.

“Quit sticking your head in Jeno’s .”

******************

“You are jealous.”

“Of who?”

“Woojin.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Mark sipped his coffee.

******************

“I just don’t know what to feel.” Donghyuck confessed. “Woojin is so sweet, and he’s the first guy to show interest in me. Do you know how that feels? To find someone who really likes you?”

“I understand.”

“And then I come home to find something like this and it pains me. I get so angry and hurt and all I want to do right now is just scream. I’m so confused. What should I be doing?”

“I don’t think I can help you with that.” Renjun offered a sympathetic smile. “I just think you need to be honest with yourself. With Woojin. With Mark. We all want to believe a reality that seems more probable or beautiful, but matters of the heart are not like that. They are like the sun: you can try to blanket them with clouds, but one day, the sun will still poke through.”

******************

“You seriously don’t see Donghyuck as anything more than friends?”

“I don’t.”

“Okay,” Jeno shrugged. “Let’s see you think that when Donghyuck goes to Woojin at the end of the day.”

******************

Yeri locked herself in her room all day. She refused to see anyone and it might as well be that way, because Mark was frankly too mortified to see her. He didn’t want to talk to her at all, not yet at least. In fact, at this point in time, he would love nothing more than to go home. Suddenly he missed his father and Johnny so very much.

The only thing keeping him was that postcard of Scarwood Palace. A childhood longing and fantasy of a place where everything can be solved, where he can finally answer the questions he had in his heart for years. He tucked that postcard under his pillow and tried to go to sleep that night.

“Mark?”

“Hmmphm?” Mark his side to find Donghyuck, standing at the door.

“Hyuck?”

“Uhm…it’s late and uhm…” Donghyuck shuffled his feet. “It’s empty in my room.”

“Come in.” Mark scooted over, letting Donghyuck climb onto his bed. A moment of silence passed between them in the dark, the faint light from outdoors carefully painting the room like an artist laying a gentle layer of acrylic.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” Donghyuck sniffled.

“We’re just tired.”

“Yeah, and frustrated.”

“I can’t wait to get on the road for some reason.”

“Me too.” Donghyuck smiled. “For some reason Mother Nature is easier to understand than the heart.”

Mark laughed softly. “Good night.”

“Good night.”

Mark watched Donghyuck’s peaceful face in the dark, noticing the small wheezing noises he made as he slept. In that moment, he realized something that has taken him almost a decade to notice.

Donghyuck is beautiful.