Taeyong’s Playlist for Parenting Woes

Hourglass-Mindy Gledhill

“Why hasn’t that boy called?”

“It’s 2am Taeyong. He’s asleep.”

“Maybe.”

“Good. Now you go to sleep too.”

“You think he would have the decency to call his parents before he slept.”

“Go to sleep Taeyong. I’m begging you.”

“But he…”

“Do you want me to tickle you again?”

“No.”

“Then sleep. He’ll call tomorrow. I know it.”

**********************

“You want to get him a car?”

“Why? Is that too big of a gift?” Johnny asked, flipping through the newspapers as they shared their morning coffee. Mark’s 18^th birthday was coming up soon, and while he would be back by then to celebrate, Taeyong and Johnny were already preparing a special surprise for their only child.

“No, I was actually thinking the same thing.” Taeyong poured himself some more coffee. “Something practical. We can’t get him a sports car or anything.”

“I don’t think he wants one.” Johnny laughed. “Mark gets all squeamish when even a motorcycle speeds by him on the road.”

“He used to cry because of the noise.” Taeyong laughed, remembering how baby Mark screamed and cried in his arms because the sound of a motorcycle engine terrified him. He fondled the cup lovingly, eyes looking down.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Taeyong lied. Johnny noticed the shift in his husband’s eyes, but he knew better than to press on the matter.

**********************

“Do you want milk or yoghurt?”

“Both.” Taeyong smiled, pushing the trolley as they filled it with their weekly groceries. There was a baby in the next cart, his mother carefully picking out cheeses. The baby had round cheeks, wide eyes, and his thumb stuck in his mouth, gurgling random noises. Taeyong looked at the baby and smiled, the baby just stared at him with his signature wide eyes.

“Look, Johnny.” Taeyong pulled his husband’s arm. “Isn’t he adorable?”

“He is.” Johnny grinned. “Hey little cutie.”

“Reminds me of Mark when he was born.” Taeyong sighed. “Mark had bigger eyes.”

The baby took his thumb out of his mouth, and his eyes were suddenly spilling over with tears. A sob tore out of the baby’s mouth and Taeyong grabbed Johnny’s arm.

“Let’s get out of here.”

**********************

“I am going to kill that boy.” Taeyong checked his phone for the millionth time that night. “Why isn’t he calling?”

“He already said he was driving at night. You don’t expect him to call you while he’s driving do you?” Johnny sighed, laying his head down on the pillow, yawning and battling sleep that was threatening to come to him.

“He could take a 5-minute break and call his parents. Is that so hard?”

“He messaged you an hour ago saying that he is fine, and he will be.” Johnny pulled Taeyong down, grabbing the phone and putting it aside. “Just go to sleep and maybe he will message us in the morning.”

“Fine.” Taeyong shut the lights off and pulled the covers over his body. Johnny yawned deeply. Finally, it was time to get some sleep.

“We should come up with a list.”

“What list?”

“A list of stuff to buy before Mark goes to college.”

“Uh huh.”

“We should also check his dorm beforehand.”

“Uh huh.”

“We should…”

“Tae,” Johnny sighed. “What happened to going to sleep?”

“I’m just thinking.”

“We can think tomorrow babe. Go to sleep.”

“I’m just worried. He is our baby after all…”

“But he’s not.” Johnny turned. “He’s not a baby.”

A pregnant silence fell over the room. Johnny felt Taeyong shift in his position and a few more shuffles in place. He knew it. He knew Taeyong was upset.

“Tae…”

“Shut up.”

“Babe…” Johnny sat up, clicking on the lights. “Come on now…”

“Go to sleep Johnny.”

“You know, when we married, we promised we would never go to sleep angry at each other.” Johnny said. “For 16 years, I have been able to keep that promise. Don’t make me tarnish my record.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Come on babe.” Johnny was much stronger than Taeyong, and he turned Taeyong over, pulling him in his arms. “I know you have been acting strange lately. It’s time to talk.”

“You wouldn’t get it.”

“Wouldn’t get it? I’ve married to you and in this household for more than a decade and I was with you through that nasty decision of yours to keep a collection of garden gnomes in the backyard.” Johnny chuckled.

“This is not about garden gnomes anymore.”

“It’s about Mark, isn’t it?”

“He’s my baby.”

“Yes but in case you are forgetting, he’s my baby too.”

“Yes but Johnny you weren’t there when he was born. You weren’t there to see this beautiful baby boy come out from your wife. You weren’t there for his first steps, his first word, all the disturbed nights because he couldn’t stop crying.” Taeyong mumbled into Johnny’s chest.

“Tae…”

“When his mother died I became so scared. Mark was the only thing I had with her, and if I lost him, I would lose everything. I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t think I could raise him.”

“So you married me for my child caring expertise?”

“Johnny I didn’t…”

“I know babe, I was just teasing you.” Johnny laughed, rubbing Taeyong’s head lovingly.

“My baby is growing up.” Taeyong started shedding small tears, wetting Johnny’s shirt. “I remembered the time he was just a baby, he crawled everywhere in the house and tried to climb the furniture. All the birthday parties and sports meetings, when he dropped his first tooth and asked to see the tooth fairy. Christmas mornings, begging to stay up for New Year’s eve countdowns.”

“I know baby…I know…”

“I’ve been a parent all my life. What am I going to do when he grows up? What is left of me?”

“We’re never going to stop being parents.” Johnny said. “He’s my son too. I love and care for him as if he is my own. Trust me, I do know how you feel.”

“No more kisses and cuddles, no more…”

“If it’ll make you feel any better I still like kisses and cuddles.” Johnny laughed as Taeyong slapped his arm. “I can be your baby.”

“You’re an even bigger baby than Mark sometimes.”

“At this point I will take it as a compliment.” Johnny rocked Taeyong in his arms. Right now, Taeyong is the baby.

“Mark will always be our son, and we will always be our parents. Parental instincts never stop. Your child could be 65 years old with 3 grand-children and we will still nag them about leaving their shoes a mess or not cleaning up after themselves. Just because he is getting older doesn’t mean he stops being our child.”

“I’m going to miss the moments when you feel needed.” Taeyong wiped his tears. “Remember when you used to feel needed? When Mark fell down and needed a bandage. When he was sick and needed someone to take care of him. When he was sad or crying and he asked for comfort. When he had nightmares and asked to sleep between us. He won’t need us anymore. He’s turning into a responsible adult. Maybe…maybe…”

“Maybe we’ll be the ones needing him.”

Johnny kissed the top of Taeyong’s head, his own eyes feeling the sting of tears as Taeyong wept in his arms. “Maybe…” he sniffed. “Maybe we always have.”

Many months later, when Mark turned 18, his parents would surprise him with a new car, one that would get him so excited to show off to all his friends. “Finally, I am free!!” he would yell.

Mark’s parents would squeeze each other’s hands a little tighter, as their baby caterpillar blossomed into a butterfly, ready to spread his wings and fly. His new car would have a sticker on it, with his parents beautiful handwriting, it would read:

Happy 18^th birthday Mark Lee.

We love you.

Always.

A/N: Because I am so soft and emo for this child TT happy birthday mark!!