I know this isn’t about NCT or EXO or whatever group I normally talk about, but I needed to write this. I don’t even know if people will read this but if you are, here it goes.

I am devastated. I am absolutely broken by the news of Jonghyun’s passing. I know some of you are not SHINee fans or may not even be familiar with them but I wager this isn’t the first time you heard of this name. I just wanted to let you guys know how I felt (bear with me a bit).

I have never had mental illness, but one of my best guy friends in the whole wide world came out to me that he had anxiety. Then, one of my childhood friends who is practically a sister to me admitted to having depression and underwent therapy and medication for years. Although I will probably never know what it’s like to have a mental illness, I have seen lives been taken away, particularly people that I love and care most about, by mental illness.

One of the challenges of writing The Search for Everything was finding a way to talk about mental illness, but how does someone who never had one write about it? So I did it in the best way I could, and when Chester Bennington died, as a huge Linkin Park fan I mourned for him, and wrote about him in Yeri in his honour (or at least attempted to).

But this? Jonghyun, SHINee’s main vocalist, LGBT advocate, mental illness advocate, sunshine of a human being, fantastic producer and one of the legends of Kpop? Jonghyun was an inspiration. His music, like probably all kpop music, saved lives and healed wounds. He gave so many Shawols a reason to smile (including me), and probably is the reason many get up in the morning. That kind of power is strong and humbling. He saved so many, but he lost his own war. This hits closer to home than you can imagine.

I can go on and on about how fantastic he is but that really isn’t the point that needs to be made. Suddenly that chapter with Yeri and her dark thoughts are more relevant than ever. I ask all of fellow readers: we are all humans first, and specifically, kpop fans. Please, I ask us all to come together and show love and support for our fellow Kpop family who are hurting and battling their inner demons. Do not belittle or ignore them, instead give them strength, love and support. Educate yourself on mental illness and realize that there are bigger things at stake. Be careful about your actions and love the people around you, because you never know what they may be going through. You never know if your last moment with them truly is your last.

Lastly, to all my readers who are hurting, if you haven’t already please, please seek help. Please find someone you trust to help you, it’s not a sign of weakness, but a sign of bravery, a sign of courage and determination to live. Your thoughts are always welcomed, and you are never alone.

RIP Kim Jonghyun. You did well. You did so ing well.