Hyuck’s Playlist for Stupid Ideas to Piss Off Stupid People

Cross My Mind-Twin Suns

“Are you sure Mark wouldn’t mind?”

“Trust me mum, he’s happy to have me.”

******************

“Turn the bus around Jeno.”

“What are you crazy? He’s on the damn freeway! Don’t turn around Jeno!”

“Turn it around!!”

“Don’t turn!!”

“Turn!!!”

“DON’T!!!”

A loud screech and a sharp swerve to the side followed, with all 3 passengers being thrown to one side. Jeno parked the bus by the side and turned around to the two bickering neighbours.

“Who do you think I am? A taxi driver?” he was visibly annoyed and can you blame him? They just discovered a stowaway in their bus. “You two decide what you want to do and then we’ll make a move.”

“There’s nothing to decide. We are turning the bus around and sending Donghyuck home.” Mark crossed his arms.

“How the hell did you fit under that cabinet?” Renjun asked, peeking his head out from the front.

“It wasn’t easy.” Donghyuck huffed. “I had practice being stuffed into the laundry basket when I was a child, so you can consider me an expert in squeezing into small spaces.”

“How did you get on the bus without anyone seeing you?” Mark asked.

“You guys aren’t exactly the CIA you know,” Donghyuck laughed. “Everyone else was so preoccupied with goodbyes and kisses and hugs…”

“Oh shut up.” Mark snapped. “We’re sending you home.”

“No you’re not. I already told my mum I was going and she said yes.”

“She let you go on a two-week road trip to nowhere with 3 other teenagers?” Jeno raised an eyebrow, questioning his mother’s parenting decision.

“Are you kidding, she was about to drive me herself.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes. “For someone who claims she loves her children more than air she sure is ready to dump us anytime soon.”

“Hyuck,” Mark rubbed his temples, putting a hand up. “I already told you that you cannot come with us. We don’t have space and not enough food.”

“Actually we could just sleep a little-ow!” Jeno shrunk back in his seat when Mark pinched his arm. “Will you clip your nails sometime Mark Lee? They are like chicken claws.”

“Are you hurt?” Renjun asked, bringing Jeno’s arm closer to his.

“I think so. I may need a kiss to…”

“See, this is why I’m here,” Donghyuck pointed to the two lovebirds. “You were about to go on an agonizingly long road trip with two people who still believe in boo-boos and think kisses will heal them. I’m here to save you.”

“I don’t need your help. We were doing perfectly fine without you.”

“Okay, then think about it this way. I’m on the bus, it’s getting late, and if you turn around to send me home I’ll be in trouble and so will you.”

“And what kind of trouble will I be in?” Mark scoffed.

“You let a stowaway get in the bus.” Donghyuck’s eyes almost seemed to gleam in the faint sunlight. “When your dad hears about this he is never going to let this go.”

he’s right.

“Mark it’s getting late and traffic is going to build up soon.” Jeno said. “We need to decide now what we’re going to do.”

“If it’s about the food don’t worry about it. Mum gave me her credit card to spend on the trip so we can always get some.”

“Your mother gave you her credit card?!” the three boys stared in shock.

“I said she was desperate to kick out her own children, didn’t I?”

“So… what’s it going to be?” Jeno asked. “It’s your call Mark.”

“Please please don’t send me back. I can cook all our meals, I take up very little space and I promise I won’t disrupt your plans.”

“Oh god.” Mark sighed. He debated sending Donghyuck home, but it was getting late and Hyuck had a point (annoyingly) that he would get in trouble with his dad. Donghyuck pleaded to him with a pout and puppy-like eyes, hands clasped together tightly.

“Fine, you can stay. Let’s get back on the freeway.”

“Alright!” Donghyuck almost jumped for joy but he couldn’t because the bus started moving. “Make a stop at the first gas station you see.”

“We don’t need gas, I already filled it up before we left.” Jeno said.

“I’m not talking about filling tanks, I’m talking about emptying them.” Donghyuck made a face at Mark. “I didn’t go to the bathroom before I left and I drank about a gallon of soda for lunch.”

******************

Now that we have our stowaway in the story, it’s time to give a proper introduction as to who this kid actually is. His name is Donghyuck, Mark’s neighbour and childhood friend. He is only a year younger than Mark, and the same age as Jeno, except Jeno skipped grades. The latter was worthy of doing so because his grades granted him. Donghyuck on the other hand had grades that would only grant him a pass to graduate, but definitely not enough to get into Harvard.

It’s not that Mark hated Donghyuck, he doesn’t hate him at all, but Donghyuck had a mouth on him that people would kill for him. The kid doesn’t know when and how to shut up. He says what he likes, what he feels, and he has a smart comeback for everything. How can he even be related to Jaehyun?

Jaehyun…that perfect guy your parents want you to marry (heck if they were any younger they probably would marry him), but we’ll get to him in a minute.

Donghyuck had tan skin, slightly rounder cheeks and dark brown hair inherited from his mother. Forget about his mouth, this boy is incredibly talented. What he lacks academically, he makes up for in life skills, like cooking, washing and fixing things. The only thing keeping Mark from threatening to send Donghyuck back home was that he could cook. He has tried his cooking before, so he knows that they would be living on proper food instead of baked beans and ramen for the next few weeks.

The boys have been on the road for almost 3 hours now. The sun was setting in the horizon, and Mark had taken over at the driver’s seat while Jeno and Renjun were in the back, looking at the map and trying to plot their next travel route. Mark tried to pretend they were not secretly sneaking kisses down each other’s neck in the back every time he looked into the rear-view mirror.

“What are you doing?” Mark asked Donghyuck, who has been scribbling in his notebook for some time now.

“While I was hiding I made a note of some of the stuff you have in the back there.” Donghyuck said. “You guys only have canned food and dried stuff like bread and cereal. Where’s all the other condiments like garlic, salt and stuff?”

“We didn’t bring any.”

“I figured that, which is why I bought my own spice rack.”

“You bought a spice rack?”

“Hey, don’t knock those leaves and seed things. They add magic to your food.” Donghyuck grinned. “I’ve been working on a menu for at least the next few nights. Maybe we can stop to get some other stuff like vegetables or some fruit or something.”

“We don’t have the money for that.”

“I do. What was your plan all this while? To get constipation while you are on the road?”

“At least we won’t need toilets.”

“What’s your plan for showers?”

“Either stop at gas stations or we can go to a swimming pool or gym. They have showers there.”

“So we’re not washing tonight?”

“Why? Are you filthy?”

“No,” Donghyuck leaned his head back. “Just checking.”

A moment of silence passed as soft music played from the radio, something that sounds like Cat Stevens but maybe isn’t. Donghyuck turned to see what Renjun and Jeno are doing, and they seemed to have passed out on the mattress behind them.

“Mark?”

“Yeah?”

“What do we do if…”

“If what?”

“If they wanna…” he pulled a face and formed a ring with his left fingers, while inserting the right middle finger through it. Mark burst out laughing.

“Then they are gonna have to find a place outside the van to do it.” The two of the giggled. “I am not sharing sheets with someone who just did the horizontal cha-cha on it.”

“Have they?”

“I don’t know. I never asked.”

“I guess it’s not that important.” Donghyuck shrugged. “Jaehyun hyung always said losing your ity does not make you more grown up.”

“Your brother knows you’re here with us?”

“Of course, he knows everything. Say,” Donghyuck leaned in a little closer to Mark. “How about we make a pit stop at NCT U to visit him?”

“Sounds like a good idea.”

“We can call him up and he can take us around, and plus since you’re going to NCT U maybe you should check out the campus.”

“I didn’t say I was going to NCT U.”

“Don’t you want to?”

“Well yeah, I guess.”

“What do you mean you guess?”

“It’s just…” Mark sighed, focused on taking a curve on the road. “NCT U is a good school. I’ll be glad if I got in.”

“What if you don’t?”

“Then I’ll go somewhere else.”

“Fine,” Donghyuck decided not to press on the issue anymore. It was getting dark and Mark really needed to focus on the road. “I think you better make a stop soon. Let’s have something to eat.”

******************

“I never thought I would say this,” Jeno helped himself to his second helping of dinner. “but that spice rack is the best thing in the bus right now.”

“I agree. Hyuckie this is delicious.” Renjun beamed, his spoon.

“I call this: Hyuck’s Pesto Pasta.” Donghyuck grinned. “I am so happy you guys bought 30 boxes of pasta, but does it all have to be penne?”

“Ask my dad. It was on sale and he went nuts.” Mark laughed, sending a quick picture message to his dad with the caption First meal on wheels. They had a good dinner with the pasta, soda in paper cups and some leftover pastries Renjun’s mum brought for them. They parked the van at the side of the freeway, where they had driven off road for a few minutes to get as far away as they could from traffic. The back door was opened and the cool breeze wafted through. After a couple of hours of driving, it was nice to finally get a break.

“You know, Renjun and I found a nice waterfall we should visit tomorrow.” Jeno said. “It’s about 2 to 3 hours from where we currently are, but it’s a famous spot and a lot of tourists go there.”

“Sounds good,” Mark nodded, cleaning up his plate. They bought tons of paper plates and utensils. Using whatever small amount of water they had, they tried to clean up after themselves including the pots they used for cooking.

“Next time we just eat from the pot.” Donghyuck laughed. “Saves us the washing.”

The first nightfall soon came, and all four of them piled onto their makeshift bed. It was a bit of a squeeze with Donghyuck, but Jeno had the perfect excuse for it.

“Renjun come closer to me.”

“But Jeno you’re warm.” He groaned. “Your body is like a heater.”

“It’s going to get cold at night, you’re gonna need me to warm you up.”

The two of them snuggled under the covers, and pretty soon some giggling could be heard and some feet wiggling could be felt too. Donghyuck rolled his eyes as he laid between Renjun and Mark.

“If you two try to do the hokey pokey in your sleep I’m rolling over on top of you.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“The last person who said that is still expelled from school. Don’t make me.”

Mark laughed at that. “You know we should get some chewable toothbrushes. At least our breaths won’t smell like we grew fungus in them.”

“Yeah you do smell a little funky.”

“Really? I thought I…”

“I was just kidding.” Donghyuck slapped Mark’s arm, moving a little closer because Renjun was still wiggling in his spot. “Stop doing that Renjun!”

“Jeno! Get your fingers out from under my shirt!”

“Make me.”

“Jeno!!”

“This is going to be a long night.”

A.N: Two words: Cheery. Bomb.

I AM SO EXCITED AIEEEEEEEEEE