Pulling the car to a stop in the playground parking lot, Yongguk looked down at the steering wheel, his knuckles white from the force of his grip. This was the right thing to do, to let Daehyun make his own decisions… Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath to steady his nerves and turned to Daehyun with a fake smile, wanting to encourage him. Even if it hurt, all that mattered was Daehyun’s happiness.

“It’s cold out there so please keep the coat on. You’re body is still weak and…” Biting his lip, he looked down, shaking his head. “Sorry. I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’m just worried. Just. Whatever happens, I’ll accept it. And if you need me, just shout.”

“Yongguk…” Daehyun’s hands reached out for his, slowly prying his fingers off the steering wheel to hold in his own.

“Mm?” Unable to bring himself to look at Daehyun, he kept his eyes focused on the space in front of him. Tears stung at his eyes, barely kept from spilling by sheer willpower alone. Heart aching, he wondered how something as pure as love could leave you in so much pain…

“I’ll be back soon.” Lips brushed his cheek as Daehyun released his hands, the sound of his car door opening following soon after. “Wait for me.”

“You know I will.” Gazing down at his hands, Yongguk barely registered the sound of the door closing. Everything felt numb, and yet, somehow, everything was on fire, blistering him down to his soul and leaving him in so much pain that he wasn’t sure he could even breathe from the tightness it set in his chest.

The lone figure of Jongup sat on a swing not far away from the parking lot. As Daehyun approached him, his breath came out in small puffs of white, fogging up in the chilly night air. His footsteps echoed, sounding hallow, an appropriate tone for the current situation. Quietly, he found his own swing next to the other man, sitting a moment in silence as he looked up at the dark sky and tried to gather his thoughts.

“It’s cold out here.” Jongup was the one that broke the silence first, making the muscles in Daehyun’s body tense up, nervousness creeping through him like a sickness. Knowing what he was about to do, that he had to let someone he’d held close for a long time go, was making him sick. But it had to be done. “Do you want my coat?”

“No. I want you to talk.” Swaying slightly on the swing, he kept his eyes on the sky, the toes of his shoes digging into the dirt in an attempt to keep himself calm. “You said you wanted to meet me to talk and I’m here. So talk.”

“Okay. Sorry.” Despite his apology, Jongup fell into a silence, not even bothering to begin his explanation.

“Why am I here, Jongup?” After a few moments of dead air, the quiet ate away at Daehyun and it was his turn to speak first. If Jongup wasn’t going to say what he came there for, then why bother freezing to death waiting for it…

“I love you, Daehyun.” Voice cracking slightly, Jongup was clearly emotional and it stung Daehyun deeply, wavering his resolve slightly.

“So you say.” Bringing the coldness back to his voice, Daehyun gritted his teeth and stilled himself for what he had to do.

“Look. Sleeping with Himchan was a mistake.” Jongup’s explanation tumbled out quickly, in a rush as though he thought Daehyun would walk away before he could finish. “I heard about you and Yongguk and… And I just got angry. I got jealous. I know it’s petty and I don’t have any better excuse. Only the truth. And I’m sorry. Forgive me.”

“I forgive you. But I can’t do this with you anymore. I…” Finally, Daehyun turned his attention from the sky, gazing across the misty park at the lone car. “You know that my heart has always been Yongguk’s. And, yeah, I fell in love with you, too. You were my rock, my world, and the reason I’m still alive. But Yongguk… He and I have had our rough patches, and they were really tough. We’ll probably have a lot more in our future. But we both can’t walk away. In the end, it was how it was always supposed to work out. We’re two broken people that have always needed one another to be whole again.”

“Daehyun. That’s not true.” Jongup reached out for him, grabbing Daehyun’s wrist gently. “We could be happy together.” Looking down at Jongup’s hand that held onto him, Daehyun slowly pulled away, focusing his gaze on the man beside him.

“I love you, Jongup. But I am not the one for you.” With a sad smile, Daehyun reached out to touch Jongup’s cheek, fighting back tears at the heartbroken expression on his companion’s face. “You’re bright and kind and amazing. You deserve to shine with another light. I'm a darkness, Jongup. And you deserve someone better. So please. Find someone better.”

“But I want you…” The hurt in Jongup brought tears to his eyes, slipping slowly down Daehyun’s cheek. This was more painful than he thought it would be, and every bit of him just wanted to fling himself in Jongup’s arms and cry and beg him to stay by his side, but he couldn’t. This was best for everyone.

“I’m going now, Jongup.” Standing, Daehyun kissed Jongup’s forehead, stepping away before the man could hold on to him. “Maybe one day, in the future, a few years down the line, you and I can meet again and be friends, but I think… at least for now… It’s best if we cut communication. So we can both move on and find our happiness.”

“Dae. Please don’t do this.” Desperate, Jongup looked up at him, his face stained with his own tears as he gave one more, broken plea for the man he loved. “Don’t leave me…”

“I’m sorry, Jongup.” Turning so he wouldn’t have to watch someone he loved fall apart because of him, Daehyun shook slightly at the effort it took not begin sobbing. “Goodbye, my angel.” As he began his trek back to Yongguk’s car, the pain weighed heavy on him, but something else began to grow inside of him. This was what he needed to do. He was going to marry Yongguk and he was going to find his happiness there.

“Hey…” Daehyun’s voice startled him out of the numb, empty daze that Yongguk had slipped into. It had seemed safer not to think about what Daehyun and Jongup could be talking about outside of his presence, hurt less not to face his inevitable breakup for as long as possible. Of course Daehyun would pick Jongup. Why wouldn’t he? Jongup was better. And he knew how to treat Daehyun, to protect him and make him happy…

“Dae? How’d your talk go?” Turning in his seat, he looked the other man over, noting the tears on his cheeks and the redness of his cold nose. Wanting to pull him close, wipe away his tears and warm him up, Yongguk stopped himself, not wanting to cross any lines Daehyun may have drawn between them.

“I made a choice. And It hurt.” Daehyun rubbed at his cheeks, lip quivering as he seemed to try to gather himself with a fair amount of difficulty. “But it was the choice that made me happy.”

“And?” His heart felt as though it stopped, time freezing around him as he waited in horror and anticipation for the answer he was sure he already knew. Daehyun’s eyes met his, a look of confusion that made Yongguk question his assumptions.

“I chose you, Yongguk.” His voice wavered slightly, still clearly hurting, but the joy his words brought Yongguk were almost hard to contain. He probably wouldn’t have been able to keep from shouting in excitement and kissing his fiance passionately if it hadn’t been for his disbelief.

“What? Really?” Hesitating a moment longer, he held Daehyun’s gaze, trying to believe what he was hearing. He had been so sure that Daehyun would pick Jongup… There was no way he wasn't mishearing this.

“Would you rather I hadn’t?” With a raised eyebrow, Daehyun cocked his head to the side, a small smile beginning to form at the corner of his lips, finally allowing Yongguk to accept what he was hearing. This was his Daehyun, his playful, gentle, beautiful Daehyun.

“Don’t you even, Jung Daehyun.” Pulling the younger man into a gentle kiss, Yongguk held him in his arms. “Now that you’ve said it, you can’t just take it back.”

“I couldn’t even if you wanted me to.” Daehyun kissed him back, resting his head against Yongguk’s chest. “I love you, Yongguk.”

“I love you, too, Dae.” All of the anxiety Yongguk had felt welling up since they got in the car melted away as showered the man in his arms with kisses. “Now it’s freezing so lets get home before you catch a cold.”

“Can we get burgers on the way home?” Pulling out of Yongguk’s embrace, Daehyun sat back in his seat, buckling his seat belt with a hopeful expression on his face. “Please.”

“We can get whatever you want, Dae.” Giving the man he loved one more, passionate kiss, Yongguk started his car and drove into the night. Daehyun picked him, he picked Yongguk, and though he thought Daehyun deserved better, he silently vowed to make sure he reached the point where he was good enough to remain by Daehyun’s side.