Staring out his bedroom window into the early morning fog, Daehyun sat on the windowsill, not really feeling anything. His emotions were made of as much substance as the mist encompassing his yard was, nothing he could really manage to reach out and get his hands on. A bird chirped somewhere in the distance, the sound distorted in the thick fog, the atmosphere like a horror movie. Really, though, life was scarier than any Silent Hill/Resident Evil style monster that could lurk in the clouds outside. His villian wasn’t some serial killer or monster starved for flesh, but instead, his own emotions, something far harder to escape from.

“Dae? What are you doing?” A voice from the bed made his eye twitch slightly but he lingered a moment longer at his perch beside the window, hoping the other man would just fall asleep again and leave him alone with his thoughts. “Baby, you need your rest. And it’s cold. Come back here.” With a heavy sigh, Daehyun turned from the semi darkness that had held his attention to face Yongguk, plastering a smile on his lips.

“I woke up to use the bathroom and wanted to admire the morning. I’m coming back now.” Closing the curtains, he made his way back to the bed in darkness, allowing his cheerful demeanor to slip when he knew it could no longer be seen. Crawling back into bed, arms encased him and the scent of Yongguk, warm and just a little bit like pepper, filled his nostrils, a stark contrast to the cool, crisp smell of air near the window.

“You’re so weird. Aren’t you afraid of the fog? Or did you get over that without me?” Half asleep, Yongguk pulled him closer, mumbling as he pressed his lips against Daehyun’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t take such big steps without me. I feel left out.”

“I guess I just realized there were worse things to be afraid of.” Shutting his eyes tight, Daehyun’s hands found Yongguk’s, keeping them from roaming his body.

“You feeling okay?” Sounding mildly concerned, Yongguk scooted closer until no space remained between them, sending a shiver down Daehyun’s spine.

“Mm. Just tired.” Letting out a soft chuckle, he hoped only to return to sleep, a slumber hopefully devoid of dreams, free from memories and pain.

“Get more rest. I’ll see you in a few hours.” With a yawn, Yongguk was already snoring, leaving Daehyun to wonder why he needed permission to go back to sleep to begin with when he never had before. But that was the difference between Daehyun’s two greatest loves, wasn’t it? Jongup had always left it up to Daehyun, supported his decisions without contest and only made suggestions when he needed to. Yongguk took charge. Of everything. Being in a relationship with his fiance was almost like being a child again, having your father tell you what to do and when to do it. Knowing Yongguk was just trying to take care of him didn’t really change the fact that, after so long with Jongup’s catering to him, having Yongguk dictate his actions ‘for his own good’ was beginning to suffocate him. Sure, as a teenager he loved it, basked in the glory of jealous eyes on him when Yongguk would order for him, and found relief in the reassurance that he could do something.

A part of him hated that everything had changed so much, wondered why he couldn’t just feel the same anymore, but he knew why. Moon Jongup had spoiled him, put him on a pedestal and treated him like a queen and maybe... After so long, maybe Daehyun was ruined. Maybe he couldn’t feel happy in any other relationship because he didn’t know how to handle not being the one to make all the decisions...

Shifting slightly in Yongguk’s arms, he glared up at the dark ceiling. Or maybe, Daehyun deserved a little freedom to make his own choices, to decide when to eat or what to eat or even if he wanted to eat at all. Perhaps it wasn’t Daehyun who was asking too much to wish to stare out a window and have an existential crisis or even just return to bed without someone’s permission. Though, in Yongguk’s defense, Daehyun, when left to make his own choices was a Daehyun who starved himself and once took way too many pain pills because everything about him hurt.

Shaking his head, Daehyun crossed his arms over his chest, willing his mind to go blank, devoid of all thoughts and emotions. Thinking was dangerous, it threatened any chance he had at being happy in this new life of his. Jongup wasn’t his anymore, or more accurately, he no longer belonged to Jongup. Yongguk had laid claim, taken back his ownership, and it was Yongguk he would marry. If he couldn’t make himself feel happy, he’d make himself numb, pretend until he could finally align his heart with his reality again. Finally, as a coldness ran through him, chasing away all notions and feelings, sleep began to claim him, a dark oblivion he gratefully embraced.

Waking up some hours later, Yongguk lay in bed, watching his fiance sleep. Daehyun’s face was soft, peaceful in his slumber, and he couldn’t help but compare him to an angel. If ever there were such a thing, it was hard not to believe that one lay beside him, even if his wings were ruffled and a little broken. Running his fingertips along Daehyun’s cheek, he watched each breath in awe, wondering exactly what he had done to deserve such a gift from the universe.

Things between the two had seemed to be going great. Daehyun was eating again, laughing and smiling again, no longer mentioning Jongup... But he couldn’t help himself when it came to worrying about his fiance. Condition still worrisome, the fact Daehyun had allowed his health to get so bad in the first place didn’t sit well with Yongguk, and so he took charge as he always had in the past, making it his mission to make sure Daehyun ate enough, slept enough, stayed hydrated. For what it was worth, Yongguk was even making sure he got out of the house, got fresh air and did things worth doing instead of staying locked away in his room like Jongup had allowed him to.

Slipping out of bed, he brushed his lips across Daehyun’s before retreating to the kitchen, on a quest to make his lover something nutritious for breakfast. As he cooked, he wrote a list, deciding that he and Daehyun would go shopping for groceries after the cafe date he had planned for them. Deep in thought as he planned their day, whistling his favorite song, he barely heard Daehyun enter the room.

“You’re whistling while I’m trying to sleep again...” Daehyun’s voice was creaky, tired as he plopped down on the chair at their small kitchen table. Still in Yongguk’s over sized shirt and some underwear, hair adorably messy and eyes squinting as he tried to blink away the sleep haze, Daehyun had their blanket wrapped around his shoulder.

“It’s time to get up anyway. Breakfast is almost ready.” Grinning, he turned to the counter, picking up the coffee pot. “I’ll make you some coffee.” Mumbling something under his breath, Daehyun shifted in his chair, pouting. “What was that, baby?”

“I said you make the best coffee.” Yawning, Daehyun shot him a sleepy smile, stretching as he moved to lean against the wall, closing his eyes.

“Babe, if you fall asleep like that you’ll fall out of your chair.” Chuckling, Yongguk went to his side, kissing the other man lovingly. “Go shower to wake yourself up. Breakfast will be ready when you’re done.”

“Mm.” Nodding, Daehyun half staggered back toward the bedroom and a part of Yongguk wondered if he was going to curl back up in the bed and fall asleep. If he did, Yongguk would just wake him up when he finished cooking anyway. Turning back to the stove, he began to hum as he cooked, feeling great, ecstatic at the idea that life was beginning to go on as though he had never left. Mind wandering, he thought about the cheap ring he had bought the morning before while he had Daehyun picking out books for his mother to read. At their date, he was going to try, yet again, to propose to his fiance and he intended to keep doing so until Daehyun finally said yes. How hard would it be? Yongguk knew all of Daehyun’s biggest weaknesses and, with the right combination, he knew the younger man would be powerless to say no. Not that he had to go through all this trouble for someone who was marrying him anyway, but he wanted it to be official, something Daehyun agreed to, before the wedding actually happened. Besides, for Daehyun, what was a little extra effort? It would be worth it, in the end, to see the excitement and happiness on his lover’s face, to hear him say ‘yes’ when he asked the question. He just hoped Daehyun wouldn’t be too difficult about it. They were on a time line, after all... But he knew Daehyun. Yongguk would get that ‘yes’ one way or another. After all, it was always meant to be the two of them, happy, in love, and married. It was fate. How could Daehyun say no to fate?