mY heart aches early in the morning and hope this makes it easier for me to let it out.

SHINee is always a family to me, SHINee is my closet friend, It in hurts me to use past tense. Jonghyun will always be my depression therapist. When nothing would I would always listen to him. He always gave the best advices, he always gave us the best saving up million times. whenever I reach my peak I listened to his music. believe it or not but there were times I was about to give up and SHINee became my last thread of hope. It in hurts. I feel like I lost one of my own babies. 

I was able to sleep 3 hours and when I wake up there is no getting better. it hurts more. It will never be the same without him. I don't know when I'll be able to listen to music again, when I'll be able to write again.

Jonghyun, I love you so much. I love you forever, wherever you go you deserve the best and the peace in mind that you always wanted. You are always an angel, you are always a life savior, I'm sure you're in heaven now. 

Jonghyun I'm sorry, I'm so sorry we didn't know tht it was too hard on you.I'm sorry that I couldn't return the comfort I received from you. I want to tell, you have done great, You've make it easier for thousands people. You are an angel.

I really wanna vanish from everywhere and tke a break. it hurts a lot cause SHINee was my plce,my family I would run in to whenever I'm emotionally hurt. I know we've gotta be strong for th