*play*
EXO - For Life

46200

Chanyeol looked down to the polaroids in his hand. A polaroid of him and Minra. Sehun and Luhan. Sehun and him. Baekhyun and chen. Everyone.

He looked around the room. This was his world. The world he lived in since two years ago. The world which locked him from the outside. The world where he fought to live. The suffocating world.

He looked to his right side, Baekhyun and Chen were sleeping soundly, drooling all over the bedsheet. There were Sehun and Kai cuddling together on the couch, legs tangled shivering to the cold. He wanted to drape a blanket over them, but he couldn't even move a single muscle. Sitting on the floor were Suho with Kris and Tao sleeping on his lap. Both Suho and Kris were tired.

'I'm sorry.' He held back his tears. He knew how worried the both person for him. One is the closest brother to him and his triplets, while the other is responsible to take care of the whole family. He was giving them a hard time. He moved his eyes to the corner of the room, Luhan and Xiumin were snuggling to each other, sleeping in a very uncomfortable position. The eldest of all were also suffering because of him. He knew Xiumin and Luhan can't sleep on the floor. They have back pain.

Lay stirred in his sleep, dragging a pillow to snuggle against Xiumin. The latter patted him, and continued sleeping. Chanyeol felt his lips forming a smile. He always love the sight of all his brothers being around him. Back then, he often took pictures of them sleeping secretly and uploaded it to his social media. He wanted to show his friends what family looks like. But he didn't realise, he was never captured in the photo. Now that he look it back, the picture arent awkward without him.

'It would be better. It would lessen their burden. You'll do great Chanyeol-ah' he told himself.

He took a deep breath, wanting to calm himself, but pain overtook his body. It was excruciating, like the oxygen were needles. Everytime he breathe, he prefer  rather not breathing. Every single journey of air into his lung were torturing, like knife being dragged inside his body, trying to cut open his flesh. He was still amazed by the fact that even inhaling oxygen could give so much effect, he didn't remember having pulmonary hypertension this painful.

He looked at the paper he took from Minra's bag, folding it nicely into a letter. He spent the whole night writing it, although he need to rest for tomorrows operation. He scoffed. Something ticklish inside him hearing tomorrow. 'What tomorrow? You can't even live until the next one hour Chanyeol. What tomorrow?' A drop of his tear fall onto the letter. Followed by another drop. Then another. When his cheeks were drenched with salty liquid, he repeatedly hit his chest.

'Why? Why are you not functioning? Why are you having high blood pressure? Why are you damaging?' He clawed his chest, furious. 'I did the best for you to recover. I ate twelve bloody different pills. Do you even know how it taste!!?' He screamed in his head.

Almost instantly, he laughed. Laughing pathetically at his own question. 'Of course you know. Of course. You took it with me. Of course. We felt the bitter. None of us like it. I did everything, but you never recover. Why? Did I do something in my past to deserve this? Did I murder someone in my past life? I didn't even smoke. Why?' He shut his eyes, then it came.

It came.

The flashbacks. Baekhyun's laugh. Chen's trolls. Kris and Suho bickering. Young immature Sehun and Kai who admired Tao's martial art. Kyungsoo running after him with a ladle. He felt himself stretching a smile while slipping his hot liquid down his jaw. Innocent Lay clinging to Xiumin and Luhan. Minra's first eye contact with him– his eyes shot open, finding the dearest girl to his heart.

He landed his eyes on her, she was sleeping soundly on the chair, just next to him. Her head lied on the hospital bed, using her arm as pillow. He brushed her hair away from her face, staring so long because he knew he would never see the face again. He traced her features, until he came in contact with her hand.

He gripped her hand slowly but tightly, somewhat relieved when she didn't wake up from the sudden pressure on her hand. He intertwined their hand, while his other hand started to work his way. He was determined.

46500

He pulled the tube on his chest by ripping it off with a little grunt. He eyed the monitor, miraculously, it turned off by itself. Inching his hand to the side holding Minra's hand, he removed the iv drip slowly, careful not to let the needle touch Minra. Then he unwrapped the blood pressure monitor on his left hand, tossing it above Baekhyun's head.

'Last one.' He thought. He raised his hand to remove the oxygen mask, but stopped when he reached the band. He was afraid. He don't want to die. Silently, he broke down again. His cries were halting, adding more pain to his chest. He sniffed, 'I– i must do this.'

Finally, he took off the mask while muffling his cries. In a split second, his breath shortened and felt himself gasping for air. But he held Minra's hand tightly, almost waking her up. Putting his fist in front of his mouth, he swallowed his cries, fighting the pain all by himself.

46620

Later when he felt lightheaded, the air from his lung were almost empty, he saw Baekhyun stirring. He felt Minra's hand twitching in his. He could see Kris lunging to him, then he spoke, "Hyung. Thankyou hyung. I love you. I love you."

"Chanyeol-ah. Chanyeol-ah!!!" Kris shouted.

46740

"Chanyeol!!" Minra was awake. She tried to search for his oxygen mask to put it back on him, but Chanyeol's grip on her hand tightened.

"Say...the word" he pleaded. Minra was crying frantically, shaking her head. "Hur..ry..up Minra-ah"

She held her tears while her hands on his chest, "An..nyeong.. Chanyeol-ah," her legs gave up and fell on the floor. Chanyeol smiled, he can go now.

"Dont–" he managed to speak. Baekhyun screamed "Chanyeol!!"

"–cry" He shut his eyes before he could hear Baekhyun calling his name repeatedly, and the ruckus he made.

46800

Time of death, 11.48pm 23 November 2016.

Minra felt the pressure on her hand slowly disappearing, and it became completely loose. Chanyeol..has gone. She froze on the floor, afraid to lift her head to see the lifeless body on the bed. Her eyes caught a folded letter on the floor, she opened it with her shaky hands, it was a piece of note which Chanyeol left in her hand.

"To the love of my life. Thank you. For being by my side. Till my last breath. I counted every second of us together. Its just we meet a little later.  If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. And that would be meeting you. Thank you for making my 46800 seconds alive. Annyeong, Minra-yah. I love you."

She hugged the letter to her chest, the letter was soaked with her tears.

Annyeong. Chanyeol-ah.