“You have probably scarred the guy for life. I mean who threatens people with a filthy toilet cleaning brush?!” , Hoseok chuckled incredulously while staring at his shorter friend.

“If anyone is scarred, it is me. After all the I have seen while living with him for almost a year, trust me, threatening to make him eat , and I mean literally, is a small punishment for what I had to endure during our life together.” Yoongi scoffed as he took a sip of his beer while the loud bass reverberated through his ears.

“Whatever you say, man. But, I feel bad for the guy. After all, when you are really pissed off, you look like a little demon risen from the ashes and ready to rip people’s hearts out and eat them raw for dinner.” Hoseok remarked and Yoongi snorted.

He is not a cannibal.

But he wouldn’t mind ripping out a few hearts here and there.

Some people really deserved it.

Before he could think about it more, Hoseok asked curiously, “ So, what’s the new roommate like?”

Yoongi kept his expression impassive, but he gulped louder.

Thank God, Hoseok didn’t seem to notice it as he looked at him expectantly.

“ He is okay.”, Yoongi stated casually, taking another sip of the bitter liquid while staring straight ahead at the bartender who was struggling with mixing some drink for Taehyung who just had to order the most bizarre drinks, just for the heck of it.

Yoongi would pity the poor fellow who was now trying to set Taehyung’s cocktail on fire, and failing miserably, but he was too busy trying to avoid Hoseok’s inquisitive stare.

“ Just okay? You have no complaints? You, the guy who is annoyed by almost everyone?!” Hoseok asked in disbelief and Yoongi slightly fidgeted in his seat.

“As long as he is not some weirdo and minds his own business then I have nothing against him.” Yoongi stated with a sour expression.

Hoseok was really making him sound like some .

It wasn’t his fault that 99% of the people he had met so far were beyond annoying and made him want to stab his eyeball with a fork.

Hoseok hummed thoughtfully and Yoongi was relieved, thinking how he was off the hook, but then Hoseok asked, “ So what does he look like?”

Yoongi’s body went rigid as he recalled this afternoon when he walked in his dorm room.

He was informed that some guy by the name of Park Jimin would be his new roommate and he wasn’t really pleased.

Who knew what kind of nightmare the said-guy was going to be?

He was already thinking of a way to intimidate his new roommate and set some ground rules, but when he entered his dorm room this afternoon, his mind went blank.

First thing that he saw were thighs.

Strong, muscular thighs trapped in the tightest jeans Yoongi had ever seen in his life.

Second thing that caught his attention was his new roommate’s .

It was just so firm and shaped like a peach that had Yoongi wondering if the guy had some implant, because there was no way that someone’s could look as if it was sculpted by the -Gods themselves.

But then, as if that wasn’t enough, he was met with a face.

And not just any face.

A round face with chubby cheeks tinted in faint pink colour faced him as the said-roommate got up from the floor where he was doing push-ups and Yoongi could have sworn that it was illegal to look that hot while working out.

Those small chocolate brown eyes were crinkling at the corners with those full lips stretching into a wide smile as the boy let out a soft giggle which sounded like music to Yoongi’s ears and then the words, “ Hi. I am Park Jimin. Your new roommate. And you must be Yoongi Hyung?” left those pink lips.

Yoongi was sure that he had his emotionless expression on, although he was screaming in his head, because HOLY , he may not believe in love at first sight, but he definitely believed in ATTRACTION at first sight and his new roommate was totally HIS TYPE.

Well, .

He tried to collect himself and opened his mouth to say something that would leave a good first impression on the shorter brown-haired male in front of him, but the only thing that left his mouth was an incoherent sound resembling a grunt.

“ Ngh.”

The attractive male tilted his head in a cute manner, looking at him with confusion and Yoongi cursed his brain for betraying him at that moment, but he managed to fix the sudden rare moment of his stupidity(or so he thought) by clearing his throat and adding, “ Yeah. You can just call me Hyung. And if you don’t want to end up running for your life like my previous roommate, you better not bother me unless you want me to cook you for dinner.”

What in the actual , Yoongi cursed himself as he realized what he had just said.

He stared at his new roommate who was staring at him with wide eyes, and , the kid will probably burst into tears and he really could not handle emotional like that, especially not from the cute stranger that was totally his type, but then much to his surprise, the boy in front of him burst out laughing.

Yoongi could only stare at the smaller male whose whole body was shaking from laughter as he  clutched his stomach as if Yoongi hadn’t threatened to end his life a few seconds ago even though they had just met.

Yoongi wondered for a moment if the guy maybe has some mental issues, but then the boy was straightening up, a wide smile on his lips as he statds in a cheerful voice, “ God, Hyung. You are hilarious .I think we will get along just fine.”

And just like that Yoongi blinked at the boy, a strange feeling rushing through his body as he stumbled backwards in a rush, quickly stuttering out, “ Hm, yeah, got to go, bye.”

And that is how Yoongi bolted out of his dorm room, leaving his new adorable/attractive as hell roommate who thought Yoongi was funny, and ended up accepting Hoseok’s earlier invite of going to some nightclub in Itaewon.

Anything was better than spending time in that small place with that new roommate of his that made him feel…Weird.

And now after that turmoil, Hoseok was asking him what the boy looked like??

Yoongi knew that if he told the truth then Hoseok was never going to let him live that down, so he shrugged his shoulders and said, “Nothing special. Just your average Joe.”

“Bummer. Well, I hope that he doesn’t turn out to be a douchebag like that previous roommate of yours. For your sake and his.” Hoseok added while finally tearing his gaze away from him and Yoongi felt like he could breathe again as he muttered, “ Yeah.”

“Hey, Yoongi?” , Yoongi was startled out of his reverie when he heard his current roommate’s voice.

He looked up from his laptop and directed his gaze towards Seokjin’s room, answering in a slightly distracted voice, “ Yeah?”

He couldn’t see his roommate since he was on the sofa in the living room, working on a song, but he could hear Seokjin rummaging around his bedroom and tripping a few times judging by the barely audible string of curses that followed.

Yoongi wondered what in the name his roommate was doing when Seokjin continued talking, still not leaving his room.

“ Hey, so I am going with my friend to some Halloween party, so I was wondering if you wanted to come?”

Yoongi bit his lower lip when another memory of Jimin flashed through his mind.

Yoongi was never the kind of guy who was too fond of parties.

The only times he did go was when his friends managed to drag him about 2 times a year by being so insufferable that he had no choice but to come with them just so that he wouldn’t have to listen to their whining.

Also, the only other person that was capable of convincing him to attend a party at that time was Jimin.

He could clearly remember how he did not want to go to the Halloween party last year which was being thrown by some classmate of Jimin’s who Yoongi had the unfortunate chance of meeting once when he had waited to pick Jimin up after one of his lectures to go on a date.

The said-classmate was obnoxious and extremely condescending, especially to Jimin which pissed Yoongi off at that time.

However, Jimin always had that burning desire to be liked by almost everyone that he practically begged Yoongi to go with him to that Halloween party, using his cutesy voice and large, pleading eyes making him look like some kind of mochi.

And Yoongi was so weak when Jimin looked like a soft, squishy rice cake that he quickly gave in to Jimin’s request.

That turned out to be one of the worst decisions in his life, because he practically spent most of the night alone at the mansion of Jimin’s dickhead of a classmate while Jimin kept ditching Yoongi to talk to his classmates and friends.

 Furthermore, Yoongi couldn’t even be properly mad at him, because Jimin got so drunk that night when he overheard the said-classmate say how “Jimin was a pathetic little people pleaser” that earned him a punch in the face from Yoongi, before he practically carried Jimin to their apartment. Not to mention that he had to spend the rest of the night taking care of Jimin who was throwing up every 15 minutes.

So, no.

Yoongi definitely did not want to go to a Halloween party.

Once was more than enough.

“I think I will pass, Hyung. I am not really the party-kind of guy.” Yoongi raised his voice so that Seokjin could hear him and he hoped that his roommate wouldn’t get offended.

He was relieved when he heard a soft chuckle coming from Seokjin’s room, followed by a, “ No worries, I didn’t peg you as the party type, but it didn’t hurt to ask.”

Yoongi smiled to himself, thinking how he really liked how chill Seokjin was.

The elder seemed to understand his personality, although they were the complete opposites in many things, but his roommate, nevertheless, never forced him into doing anything that he didn’t want to do, or nagged him about being anti-social and what-not.

Even his closest friends who knew him for so long kept bothering him how he should go out more and meet new people and all he really wanted to do was produce music and sleep.

Suddenly, someone rang their doorbell and Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows.

Who could it be at this hour?

It was already 9 p.m.

“ Oh, that’s my friend! Please, open the door while I put the finishing touches on my costume.”,  Jin yelled from his bedroom and Yoongi involuntarily got up from his little makeshift studio that he had built in the living room and lazily made way towards the front door.

When he opened them, he was met with an unexpected sight.

A guy, taller than him by a few inches, was covered in green paint all over his shirtless body and his thick thighs and legs.

The only thing he wore was a purple shorts that practically outlined every line of his body, and something else as well, leaving little to imagination.

So, this must be the younger “muscle-pig friend” that Seokjin complained about, who kept dragging him to the gym against his will.

“Hm, a Hulk for Haloween, so not a cliché.” Yoongi said in a bored voice and the taller guy in front of him huffed, blowing out black strands of hair from his forehead as he narrowed his brown eyes at Yoongi.

“ Well, at least I have the body for it. Not all of us can be Snow White’s dwarf. Grumpy, I am guessing?” the guy said while wearing a condescending grin and Yoongi was this close to slamming the door in the insolent brat’s face when Seokjin’s voice travelled through the hallway, “ Kookie? Yoongi? Where are you guys?”

The Korean Hulk grinned, pushing past Yoongi while whispering, “ Move, midget.”, before making his way towards the living room.

“ Midget?!” Yoongi hissed to himself, slamming the front door, before following after the ill-mannered rascal.

He was just about to scold the green-monster when he was caught off guard by Seokjin who was standing in their living room, asking, “ So, how do I look?”

Yoongi took a moment to appreciate how good Seokjin’s costume was.

It was a simple chef costume, but somehow his tall, handsome roommate made it look like a million bucks.

Black polished oxford shoes paired with black slacks and a white double-ed jacket made Seokjin look like a successful young businessman. The black and white stripped apron tied around his waist accentuated his lean hips even more while giving an illusion of an even broader chest and shoulders. On somebody else the high white hat may have looked ridiculous, but it gave some sharpness to his roommate’s round face as it hid his ash brown hair, putting his forehead on display.

He would have looked like a rich young chef if it wasn’t for that speck of dough intentionally gracing his cheeks and apron as he held a rolling pin in his right hand while looking at Yoongi expectantly.

Yoongi was just about to compliment his costume when the brat interrupted, complaining, “ Hyung, you are going to embarrass me. Why couldn’t you go as Spiderman like I asked you, instead of being so lame?”

“ Yah! How dare you talk to me like that when I practically raised you on my back?! Besides, if I go as Spiderman, I will deprive people of seeing my God-like face and I am not that cruel.” ,his roommate said as he crossed his arms over his chest while raising his chin up and Yoongi wondered how he hadn’t noticed before that his Hyung was a bit of a narcissist.

“ Oh please, Hyung. I came from Busan just to raise you, so the least you could do is dress up like I suggested, but noooo, God forbid you listen to my wise advice.” , the now-sulking Hulk said while crossing his arms over his chest in a defiant manner and Yoongi wondered if there was really a two-age difference between these two.

He was brought back from his thoughts when Seokjin addressed him once again.

“ Hey, Yoongi. Do you know why the chef quit his job?”, his roommate asked with a wide grin and Yoongi blinked at him, before responding, “ What?”

However, this wasn’t the “what” that was meant as something to prompt the person to keep talking.

It was more that kind of confused “what” when someone says something completely out of the blue that has you wondering “wtf is this person talking about?”

His roommate obviously did not know the difference between the two, because the next words that left his mouth were, “ Because, they cut his CELERY!!!”

Yoongi stood rooted to the spot, staring at his roommate who was laughing so hard at what he said while hitting his own knee, his whole body trembling from laughter while Yoongi looked baffled.

Thank God that he did not have to provide any answer to that, or show any kind of reaction, because the Korean Hulk actually groaned, pushing Seokjin towards the door and muttering in a disgruntled voice, “ God, Hyung, can you not? If this midget kicks you out of this apartment for your lack of sense of humour, I swear that I am not going to take you in.”

Yoongi heard a few protests from his roommate who, judging by the tone of his voice, was offended by the Hulk’s remark, but he still managed to yell out, “ Byeee, Yoongi!”, before the door to the apartment opened and then closed, leaving Yoongi all alone.

He was still bewildered by what had just happened and he wondered what was worse.

The fact that his roommate seemed to be a fan of ‘dad jokes’ that Yoongi will probably have the “pleasure” of hearing more often from now on, or the fact that Seokjin actually thought those lame puns were hilarious?

He let out an exasperated sigh, thinking how he thought he had a pretty good idea about his roommate’s personality, but it seemed that Kim Seokjin was full of surprises.

(︺︹︺)

Yoongi had no idea what time it was when a loud thud coming from the hallway made him abruptly wake up.

He looked around, frowning when he realized that he fell asleep in his makeshift studio a.k.a. a pile of pillows and blankets surrounded by 3(currently) empty coffee mugs in the living room.

He wiped the drool from the corner of his mouth with his sleeve and then he proceeded to do the same with his laptop on which he fell asleep at some point.

He could barely keep his eyes open as he sat up on the sofa, looking around, but then he had heard it.

His eyes flew wide open when he heard the familiar high-pitched voice.

“ Hahahaha, Hyung, OMG, that was HILARIOUS!”

Yoongi narrowed his eyes towards the hallway where that fake voice was coming from and after years of listening to that person talk about anything and everything, Yoongi knew exactly when that person used this tone of voice.

It was when he was trying to seduce someone, making them think that they are the most interesting person on the planet.

He had obviously succeeded in his plan, because Seokjin’s excited voice followed as he said, “ Here is another one! Why shouldn’t you hire a midget chef?”

“ Why?” the overly-sweet fake voice prompted, and Yoongi prayed for Seokjin not to finish that pun, but God did not seem to have heard him.

“Because, THE STEAKS ARE TOO HIGH!!!”

Seokjin burst out in loud laughter when he finished what he thought was a hysterically funny pun while the other person laughed along and Yoongi rolled his eyes when he heard the forced laugh, but luckily a deep voice joined in and said, “I don’t get it?”

Now, it was Yoongi’s turn to laugh when the other two went silent at that remark.

“ It’s because you have no sense of humour, unlike Jin-Hyung.” the fake voice snapped, but Yoongi scowled.

Jin-Hyung?

Seriously, Seokjin let him call him like that?

Oh boy, his Hyung was obviously weak for flattery.

A true narcissist indeed.

Three figures finally came into view as they stepped into the living room.

“ Oh, Yoongi. I am sorry, did we wake you up?” Seokjin asked apologetically, but Yoongi waved his head, before narrowing his eyes on the two figures next to Seokjin as he spat out,“ And what the hell are you losers doing here?”

The pastel-haired boy in a skeleton suit shot him a nasty look, before forcing his fake smile and saying, “ Well, we ran into Seokjin-Hyung at the party and we wanted to see how our favourite shorty Hyung is doing?’

Yoongi gritted his teeth at the “shorty” remark and then snorted at Hoseok’s acting and said in a flat tone, “ Bull!”

“ Yoongi! They are your friends, be nice.” Seokjin chided him and Yoongi couldn’t believe that Seokjin fell for that lousy acting.

“ It is precisely because they are my friends that I know their ulterior motives. And, excuse me, but what in the world are you supposed to be?”, Yoongi asked Taehyung, not trying to hide the disgust on his face as he stared at the loose black clothing on the younger boy which seemed like something a beggar would wear, but what caught his attention was a black beret with some sort of a yellow stuffed rat on it.

“ Cardcaptor Sakura!!!” , the brown haired boy cheerfully announced, before he started doing some ridiculous dance while singing in what Yoongi supposed was Japanese ( although it could be gibberish as well the way Taehyung sang it).

Yoongi was just about to mock him when Seokjin ruffled Taehyung’s hair and said in a thrilled voice, “ Ah, so cute. I still can’t believe that we have such similar taste in animes. You have to come over sometime, so that we can have an anime marathon.”

Yoongi gaped at them in horror and somebody has got to be kidding him?!

Not only has Seokjin not started running for his life when he met his idiotic friends, but he also seemed to be fond of them already!

If only he knew that the said-person he was inviting for an anime marathon recently talked about having his in one of Seokjin’s holes.

Great, just great.

Taehyung excitedly nodded and Seokjin chuckled, before yawning.

“ Ah, I am exhausted. I am going to sleep, but you can stay as long as you want to, so that you could catch up with Yoongi. I had fun, tonight. Let’s do this some other time as well. Goodnight.” Seokjin said in a tired, but happy voice as he waved at them while Hoseok and Taehyung started waving at him like some retards, saying some cringe-worthy to the elder who smiled politely, before finally shutting the door to his bedroom.

Yoongi’s patience was already thin, and he was just about to give these two a piece of his mind, but then Hoseok turned around, his previous fake sweet expression replaced by a dark look and an evil grin that made a shiver run through Yoongi’s spine.

“ So, Jin-Hyung told us something very interesting. He had said that he was surprised how you introduced him to Namjoon the other day and yet barely mentioned us…” Hoseok said in a chilly voice as he approached Yoongi who was sitting on the couch.

“ Oh .”, Yoongi muttered under his breath.

“ Oh , indeed. You conniving little Hyung~” Hoseok mocked, his voice sinister as he and Taehyung now towered over Yoongi who wanted nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare.