A/N: Here's a relatively fast update before school picks up again! Thank you again for your patience. 

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{9}

I shipped away a few songs for the company and pushed myself away from my desk. Once inspiration hit, I couldn’t sleep. The last time I stayed awake for 24+ hours straight was probably in the height of my career, with promotions, song writing, and training happening all at once. I’m not as young as I was back then, this is killing me. I crawled into bed and rubbed my eyes. I need to sleep for another day to function normally.

Vicious knocking jolted me out of sleep and I sat up, checking the time. Holy I actually did sleep the whole day. It was nearly midnight. Who could be at my door this late? I grabbed a mike stand as my heartbeat quickened. I looked through the peephole and found it being covered. I stifled a curse and gripped the pole even harder. Should I just call the cops? It’s not like they came in, I just won’t open up. Another pound on the door, however, made me jump and scream. ! “Tiffany, holy , it’s me! Open the door!” I huffed and set down the mike stand, recognizing the voice.

“Oh my God, I was gonna call the cops on you! Don’t around like that!” I hissed as I opened up the door, letting Amy inside. She giggled and jumped in, making me note her outfit. Comfortable clothes? And she’s the only one at the door? “Did you change before coming here? Where’s your manager?”

“I’m not here on schedule, I’m taking a break and thought it’d be fun to see how you’re doing,” she stretched, pulling along her carry-on. I let out a sigh.

“And you didn’t think about contacting me?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise!” she grinned and I rolled my eyes. All the other girls in my life, they just show up unannounced, whenever they please. The brunette dropped onto my bed and patted the space beside her.

“You’re lucky I slept before this,” I pulled out my chair and sat in front of her. But the very image of Amy was comforting. I wanted a gentle life, but that didn’t mean I didn’t miss what it meant to be an idol. “Where are the girls?”

“Hyewon’s home in Busan, Jiyoung picked up a CF so she’s still in Seoul, and Soohyun is in Jeju with her family,” Amy relayed and I hummed. I was close to the girls, after all we spent over ten years together, but the instability of their lives made me hesitant to reach out. It was also easier just to talk to Amy since we were friends in our trainee days. “They also sent me to get the gossip.”

“Of course, they did,” I rolled my eyes and leaned back in my chair.

“How cute is her kid? Do you have pictures?” she wondered and I took my phone. Is it surprising that I do? I paused on a photo I found of Stan sitting in Taeyeon’s lap. Sure, he was cute, but the way his mom looked at him was so breathtaking. Her gentle smile, she had so much love for him. “Oh my God, is that Taeyeon?”

“Yeah…”

“She’s still really pretty,” Amy noted, her hands gripping my shoulders, and when I tried to breathe I found that I couldn’t because I was crying so hard. “Tiff.”

“She’s so beautiful I can’t stop.” Kid or no kid, girlfriend or no girlfriend, Taeyeon would always be who I yearned for. I never saw just a future, I just saw her as we grew older and felt the need to have her by my side for eternity. But we separated and I saw her future. I didn’t like it and it poisoned me.

“Tiff, it’s okay.” Her hands cupped my face but I just wanted to cry. I haven’t cried over Taeyeon and Minju; I needed to let it out.

“She got over me so fast.”

“No, Tiff, she just…found someone to heal her. And you know it wasn’t Minju, it was Stan,” Amy insisted as I squeezed her even tighter. Maybe it hurt more because he was a baby and I couldn’t blame a baby.

“I can’t stop thinking about her, I want to be her girlfriend again.” Someone else had to know my dark thoughts. “It’s so stupid, in what world would she want me more than Minju?” Amy didn’t say anything, simply letting her thumbs brush my cheeks, like consoling a child. I knew she agreed but wouldn’t voice it out loud.

Sent at 11:30 p.m.

Taeyeon: Tiffany? Are you awake? Seunghyun wants to eat lunch so I was wondering if you wanted to join us

Sent at 12:00 p.m.

Tiffany: IM UP IM UP FOOD

Sent at 12:02 p.m.

Taeyeon: LOL meet us up for sushi?

Sent at 12:05 p.m.

Tiffany: um amy is kind of visiting…is it ok if she comes?

Sent at 12:06 p.m.

Taeyeon: Are you kidding of course! I’ve never met her! Plus Seunghyun’s curious too

I slapped Amy and she jumped. “What the ?!” she slapped me with a pillow but I scrambled out of bed, grabbing clothes.

“We’re going out to lunch. Don’t you wanna meet Taeyeon?” I asked and she sat up straighter.

“You just spent last night crying over her and now we’re meeting her for lunch?” I faltered a bit but stripped off my shirt anyway, continuing to get dressed.

“No matter how much I wish it was different, it’s not going to change. I’ll have Taeyeon in my life someway, I’ll be her friend again,” I sighed and looked back at my former member. She blinked at me. I wonder if I look different to her. “Come on, get dressed. She’s bringing a friend and he’s single.”

Watching two planets collide would’ve made more sense than watching Taeyeon and Amy hug. Two of my closest friends who picked me up in dark albeit different times in my life were meeting. While it was strange, I was comforted by how they got along. However, I saw Seunghyun stumble a bit and it got weird again. Uh oh. “This is my friend, Seunghyun. He went to high school with me and Tiffany.” Amy beamed at him and I couldn’t help but turn away and stare at the baby with us instead.

“Oh really? Does that mean you were a percussionist?” she asked, sitting next to him and I groaned internally again.

“Yeah, been friends with Taeng since our freshmen year,” he nodded proudly. “I don’t really have time for it anymore, though, with work.”

“What do you do for work?”

“Seunghyun’s a financial advisor for the CFO of a major American bank corporation.” I blinked. He was starting to sound impressive even to me. Is Taeyeon playing wingman? It was starting to get a little entertaining and a little less disgusting. I wonder how many times she did that for any of her guy friends.

“That’s a huge job for someone in their 30’s.” Taeyeon glanced at me and I couldn’t help but smile because everything felt so wrong but at the same time it was like a drama playing out.

“Well, if I’m being completely honest, only part of it is qualification based. The other part is making the right connections. I got lucky when I landed this job.” Seunghyun is being humble? This was getting kind of crazy. “What about you? Being an idol must be challenging for a myriad of reasons, including the competition. Tiffany speaks highly of you.”

“Really?” Amy beamed at me and I glared right back at her. I’m going to interrogate you later. But at the same time, it made sense. Both of them were single and expressed desires to be in a relationship. Amy was beyond gorgeous and fun and somehow still down-to-earth. Seunghyun, with his crisp look and friendly aura, was definitely not bad looking either. I knew both well enough to put aside my bias and leave them alone.

“Stan can eat sushi?” I asked and Taeyeon hummed, turning away from the other two. They could handle themselves.

“He just can’t eat raw fish, but other rolls are fine. He likes tempura,” she grinned and took off the tail first before handing her son the fried shrimp.

“Thank you,” he whispered and Taeyeon grinned even more.

“He’s doing better with vocalizing.”

“Yeah, I’m really happy. Some speech therapists I know gave me some exercises to do with him and he socializes with other kids at the park. He’s just really shy,” she swept her hand through his hair. “Hm, I need to cut your hair Stan.”

“Oh right, another reason I wanted to come was to see your baby!” Amy grinned and looked at Stan. Somehow, her eyes got soft and she calmed down. It made me uncomfortable. She just met Stan yet she already looked so gently at him. What is it about babies that I’m supposed to love? “He’s so cute.”

“Yeah, aren’t his dimples the best?” Seunghyun poked at Stan’s cheek and the baby laughed, showing off said dimples. They’re kind of like Taeyeon’s. I couldn’t stop myself from grinning. “So you like kids?” I felt my heart tense.

“I love them, but for a lot of idols that want to stay in the industry, giving up a family or at least children is usually the only way to stay relevant,” Amy said and the table went a little quiet, at least, I felt quiet. It was the truth, but a lot of idols never had children in their goals when they first started. People mainly said that and sometimes even followed through to look appealing and follow cultural norms, but many preferred the single life. “But I have a short contract this time around so who knows, Maybe I’ll follow Tiff to L.A.”

“Please don’t,” I sighed and she grinned, pinching my cheek. “Don’t!”

“Wow, this is a new side to Tiffany I’m seeing.”

“This is a new side to you, too!” I pointed and Seunghyun glared, his eyes reading both ‘shut the up’ and ‘please stop’.

“Alright, kids, let’s not fight or else Stan will think it’s okay to yell at people at the table,” Taeyeon reminded and we both loosened up. “Just drink some miso soup and call it even.”

“Taeyeon, you know I don’t like—.” I looked at the soup she placed in front of me and stopped talking.

“I remember you don’t like tofu, it’s all in Seunghyun’s bowl, so eat,” she told me. She remembered that I don’t eat tofu.

“You don’t like tofu? How can you live in Korea for so long without eating tofu?” Seunghyun raised a brow at me and I almost threw my spoon at him.

“She gave it to me and our other members or just avoided it. We also didn’t cook at the dorm with tofu,” Amy explained and my agitation disappeared. “It’s not as bad as avoiding spicy food, which every idol has to do almost all the time.”

I zipped up Stan’s sweatshirt while Taeyeon wiped off his face. We were doing anything possible to let the other two have some alone time, exchanging numbers and smiles. “Did you anticipate this?” I whispered and the doctor grinned.

“Of course not, but they look really cute together and they’re happily hitting it off.” I glanced back. It was true. I’d never seen that look on Seunghyun’s face and Amy’s smile was never so effortless. “If things do well, who knows, they’ll thank us. In what universe would they have met each other if not because we brought them together?” Taeyeon brushed off Stan’s shoulders and took his hand. His big almond eyes suddenly looked up at me as he held out his other tiny arm. I froze. “Aw, he wants you to hold his hand.” Me? I cautiously lowered my hand and he grabbed for my fingers, curling his little palm around them. “Oh my God, that’s adorable.” The five of us stepped out of the restaurant and I couldn’t stop staring at the mini hand holding mine.

“He’s kind of adorable.”