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{6}

Sent at 10:55 a.m.

Jess: open your door i’m hanging out for a few days

I laughed out loud. Taeyeon and Stan blinked at me, startled by my noise. It was still hard to see that they weren’t biologically related. “Sorry, Jess just texted me and she’s outside my dorm right now,” I grinned and Taeyeon laughed, making Stan comfortable enough to imitate her laugh. They were so cute together.

“Tell her to come over, I always felt bad about never talking to her since I adopted Stan,” Taeyeon insisted and Seunghyun walked out of the kitchen, raising a brow at me. For the first time in years, I watched as he sat down in a plain tee and sweatpants. His hair wasn’t even done. It reminded me of being an idol and getting caught without makeup.

“You’re still friends with Jessica Jung? I thought you hated her in high school,” he said. My brows shot up.

“I never hated Jessica,” I insisted and he scoffed. “What does that mean?”

“You definitely hated her, at least at some point. You guys always glared at each other back then,” he smirked and I fought to remember the days where I didn’t like Jessica. Did I hate her back then? I can’t remember…

“You don’t remember? When Sica still had a crush on me, you got up in her grill every time,” Taeyeon offered and I blushed. Oh right, that happened. I was flung back into the time where I pulled Jessica aside and confronted her about liking my best friend. I told her to back off and to not touch Taeyeon. God, that’s so embarrassing. Cure Taeyeon and her memory!

“Oh so she actually liked you? That was just a rumor,” Seunghyun whistled.

“Nothing major, just a baby crush. But Tiffany always made it like Sica declared her love for me in front of the entire school—.”

“Oh my God, I was not that protective!” I groaned but Seunghyun burst out laughing in response. Stan jumped in his booster seat. “Be quiet! You just scared the baby!”

“You’re kidding, right? When you left for Korea, I legit thought you would go crazy and give up halfway through.”

“She kinda did, didn’t she? Started dating me after debuting,” Taeyeon teased and I could only burn as the two of them teased. High school was embarrassing now that we were adults. All of those impulsive decisions have come back to haunt me! I texted Jessica. I needed someone else on my side.

The wedding planner punched my shoulder as soon as I opened the door. “Ow! Girl, what in the world was that for?!” I hissed and she huffed. It seemed like Jessica never knew or couldn’t remember Taeyeon’s address since I had to text it to her; maybe she was jealous that I had reappeared in Taeyeon’s life and was already sticking to her. I rolled my eyes. “That was your fault for showing up unannounced.”

“Where’s your baby? Show me the child!” Jessica called out, changing subjects. I felt her eyes on me but ignored her. “Hey Seung.”

“Hey Jessica, what are you doing here?” he asked, stretching his body over the couch like a lazy cat.

“I decided to go on a little vacation. I decided to stay here for a little while and crash with Tiff,” she said and I blinked.

“Who said you could?”

“I just did. Love you, Babe,” she pinched my cheek and I rolled my eyes while she pushed Seunghyun’s legs off the couch. I sat on the floor. Even Jessica seems pretty comfortable with Seunghyun. It was still awkward to be in the same room as him.

“Stan! Come meet Aunt Sica!” Taeyeon cooed, holding the toddler’s hand as he waddled into the room. Jessica grinned and bent down to accommodate his size. Stan simply blinked at her but he didn’t hide behind Taeyeon. It was a good sign. “This is Aunt Sica, can you say hi?”

“Hi!” he called out but then moved to run. Jessica instantly scooped him up.

“No you don’t!” she laughed and held onto him. “He’s so cute!” she squealed. He started to whine and I tensed, recognizing the signs.

“Umma!” he cried and I fell back, laughing when Jessica froze. She’s still a stranger to him.

“Jeez, Jessica, you scared him,” Seunghyun scoffed. My sides started to hurt and my breath was running out. He crawled back into his mother’s arms and she kissed his head, rubbing his hair. Even though I didn’t work well with kids, I still felt warm when Taeyeon was affectionate with Stan. She showered him in pure love.

“It’s alright, he’s always scared of strangers.” He wasn’t scared of me. I pinched my thigh. “Tiffany, can you get his box of toys?”

“Sure,” I stood up and walked into the baby’s room when I realized that Taeyeon still called Jessica ‘Sica’ but she hadn’t called me ‘Fany’ ever since we broke up. I guess that’s a boundary we can’t pass yet. I didn’t dare call her Tae either. We were comfortable now, I didn’t want to jeopardize it.

The four of us sat around the coffee table, playing with Stan when he asked for us. At the moment, Jessica was trying to make Stan look at her, but he continued staring at his rubbery blocks. She hated being ignored. “Sica, it’s fine, he’ll grow to like you,” Taeyeon groaned, reaching over to rub her son’s back.

“Tiff! You said he was friendly!” she scolded and I rolled my eyes.

“He just likes Tiffany because he has a crush on her,” Seunghyun chuckled. “Dude are you blushing?!” My hand flew to my cheeks. Why am I getting embarrassed about that? He’s a baby. I glanced at him and caught a cute little smile he threw to his mom. She grinned back at him. He doesn’t love easily too.

“He’s just so cute,” I insisted and Jessica pouted. “You’ll see it if you hang around him for a while.”

“I only have a week. You’ve been around for months!” Has it been that long? I was suddenly aware of the air sticking to my skin and my pinned up hair. It was well into the summer in L.A. I smiled.

“You’re welcome to come over when I’m home, you’ll have to meet Minju if you want to come over on the weekends though,” Taeyeon said absentmindedly, focusing on Stan as he patted her cheeks. She grinned at him.

“Oh right, you conveniently forgot to tell me about your girlfriend of the past year,” Jessica glanced at me again.

“Sorry, life got busy. When I’m not focusing on Stan, I’m focusing on work or my girlfriend. Really, only Seung and Xiu know about her because they lived here,” Taeyeon confessed and I blinked. If they only know because they lived with her…

“Does your family know?” I asked and she smiled, but it was a little crooked.

“Yeah, they know I’m in a relationship but they’ve never met Minju. I was actually thinking about taking her to the family reunion soon.” The memories made me warm. Taeyeon’s family was so perfect. I dreamed of many relatives, but my family was small, so I used to visit Taeyeon’s often. It pained me a little that I wouldn’t be able to see them again.

“Have they met Stan?”

“Yep. Honestly, Stan is my only constant when it comes to my own family. My relatives are his and that’s not gonna change,” she said and kissed the child’s head as he sat in her lap.

“What? Minju’s not a constant?”

“Minju is an independent woman with her own thoughts and feelings. I can know her well, but I can’t soundly say she’ll be a constant in my life, at least not yet.” I always thought that Taeyeon would be in my life forever. She was my constant, but it seemed like she never thought I was. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Was Taeyeon as invested as I was in our relationship? Maybe that’s why she moved on better than I did. “Stan is my son. He’s different.”

When Seunghyun went down for a nap and Taeyeon and Jessica sat at the table to chat, I found myself spinning tops for Stan on the floor. He was amused by the smallest things. Was it a child thing or an autistic child thing? I couldn’t tell. I’ve known her for 17 years, that’s almost six times your lifespan, how are you her constant and not me? I sighed and spun the toy, watching him light up in glee. He laughed and clapped but I could only stare. What do I have to do to become a person she can rely on? I left her for over three years, she lost faith in me, I had to build it back up.

Stan grew fussy as he got hungry so he sat waiting in his booster seat while Taeyeon made him food. I watched her cooking from the couch. A part of me felt like I would never get used to such a domesticated view of Taeyeon. I never expected her to become a mother, but she was such a natural caregiver. Being a mom was in her nature and, in a way, I could still see remnants of the Taeyeon I found familiar. It was comforting. “Stan! Want some rice?” She placed a small bowl in front of him and handed over a spoon. He lazily held it and messily scooped up rice and meat. I twitched. “Can you eat by yourself or do you want me to feed you?”

“Me!” he grinned and she nodded, leaving his side.

“Do you guys want food?” Taeyeon asked, turning back to the kitchen. “I have more.”

“Not hungry yet, I just kinda wanted to party,” Jessica stretched. My ears pricked at the word.

“You want to go to a club and not eat beforehand? What kind of animal are you?” I raised a brow at Jessica. She rolled her eyes.

“Cut me some slack, it’s been ages since I partied,” she replied and Seunghyun groaned, sitting up from the couch.

“Sounds fun. I want in,” he grinned and jumped up. “Let me put on some clothes!”

“Right now?!” I called but he had already slipped away. What is wrong with these people?! My life as an idol practically scheduled parties as a job. They were fun at first, but became boring if the right people weren’t there. There were also the extra precautionary measures taken. Parties weren’t always meant for fun; some had business to take care of. “Jessi, eat something if you’re gonna drink. I don’t want you blacking out.”

“I know my tolerance.”

“Jessica, I’m not kidding. Eat.” Anything could happen if she wasn’t careful. The woman seemed to understand, even if only for a moment, and got up.

“Taeng, get me some rice.”

I finished dinner quickly and waited for Seunghyun – coming out of the bathroom a completely different person – and Jessica to finish their meals. They were distracted by Stan. I sighed. Babies, they’re always distracted by babies. “So what was that?” I looked over and saw Taeyeon sitting by me. Her pose is the same. An arm was resting on the back of the couch; her legs were crossed.

“What was what?”

“Forcing Sica to eat like some mom; I would’ve probably pumped her with more alcohol if she didn’t eat,” she grinned and I shrugged but felt a familiar prick in my chest. Am I annoyed with Taeyeon?

“You guys haven’t been to enough clubs then,” I said and Taeyeon raised a brow. I looked away, staring holes into the table. “In Korea, if a girl idol got drunk, she may never wake up the same.” I shuddered. All Jessica and Seunghyun wanted was a good time, but all I could remember were the stories the seniors and managers talked about. Clubs were dangerous. A hand touched my shoulder and I felt a squeeze.

“Hey, you’re not an idol anymore, don’t worry.” My worries started to dissolve and I breathed a little easier. Taeyeon still knew how to calm me. “If it bothers you that much, I’ll go with you guys too.”

“You have Stan,” I reminded and the mother shrugged.

“I can head out when Minju gets home. You don’t have to take care of those two kids by yourself, you can lean on me if you really need it.” I blinked. Ah, that’s how it started. I thought back to when we just became friends in high school. We spilled our secrets and friendship grew from that understanding, but I was the first one to depend on her. I guess I have to lean on you first, like old times.