Jimin wakes up from a deep slumber of how many hours he doesn’t know. He feels lightheaded as he tries to sit up but his body feels too heavy. He looks around and finds Jungkook curled up next to him still sleeping soundly.

Jimin tries to get up and this time manages to disturb Jungkook’s deep slumber who turns around a little as much as the small sofa allows him to and a deep crease forms on his forehead.

Jimin realizes that he is still at Yoongi and Taehyung’s apartment the evidence from the fact that both Taehyung and Yoongi are sleeping right on the floor while Hoseok is between them asleep as well.

Jimin stares around to see the various cans of beer and other trash that cover every inch of the floor. It’s filthy and Jimin can’t stand the mess. His mother had always been a stickler for cleanliness and loathed any kind of mess. Jimin is the same.

Jimin gets up and stumbles, his leg feels heavy as he walks to the bathroom. He relives himself and as he exits he catches a reflection of himself in the mirror and he doesn’t know what he expects because he looks exactly the same. The eyeliner from last night has smudged around his eyes giving him the impression of a panda and his face looks red, his lips swollen and neck littered with marks…Jimin remembers Jungkook’s body on him last night and he shudders.

Jimin turns the tap on, the sound of the running water interrupting the deadly silence of the house. He washes his face and practically rubs it to the point that it stings and stares back at the mirror again but even now he doesn’t feel any cleaner. Jimin looks away and walks off the bathroom slamming the door harder than necessary.

The rest of the four are still asleep, the other guests must be long gone Jimin guesses. He grabs his phone which is lying on the coffee table and checks the time. It’s 2 pm in the afternoon. Jimin has managed to miss both Uni and work today. He doesn’t know what to do especially since Jungkook and the rest of them are still sleeping.

His stomach is rumbling so he goes to the kitchen in an attempt to find something to eat. In the end, he finds some chips and eats them sitting on the lone dining table completely lost in his thoughts.

“Jimin,” he hears a voice making him jump. It’s Yoongi his dyed mint hair falling in his eyes, he looks younger than ever Jimin thinks as he sits down opposite to Jimin.

Jimin instinctively holds out the packet for Yoongi who grabs some and munches on them.

They sit silently which isn’t surprising because Yoongi doesn’t talk much and neither does Jimin. Yoongi clears his throat a little looking at Jimin.

“Yesterday was fun,” Yoongi says a small smile on his face.

“Yeah,” Jimin answers flatly. He thinks the opposite.

“I am sure Jungkook enjoyed himself,” Yoongi says.

“He sure did,” Jimin says.

Silence again.

“When did you wake up?”

“About 15 minutes ago,”

“Oh,”

Jimin finishes the packet and gets up to put it into the little trash can.

“I think I am gonna go wake up Jungkook,” Jimin says more to himself than Yoongi.

“All right,”

Jimin goes to the living room and finds Jungkook sleeping so Jimin shakes him lightly. That seems to work as Jungkook opens his eyes.

“Jungkook, come on wake up,”

Jungkook opens his eyes and sits up staring at Jimin,

“What time is it?”

“About 2:30,” Jimin answers.

“Oh,”

“Come on, we should head home,”

“Oh okay,”

Jungkook stands up and then stumbles a little holding Jimin who helps him to stand up properly again.

Yoongi stands in the entrance of the room looking at them.

“Will you be able to get home?” he asks.

“Don’t worry hyung,” Jungkook says.

Yoongi nods.

“Thanks for yesterday hyung,” Jungkook says. “It was fun”

Yoongi grins a little.

“It was nothing,”

Yoongi catches Jimin’s eyes who smiles a little.

“Tell Taehyung and Hoseok I said goodbye,” Jungkook says as they are still sleeping soundly on the floor.

Yoongi nods and then Jungkook and Jimin are out of the door.

Jungkook gets in the truck and Jimin follows as Jungkook starts the car. He reaches for the stereo.

“Don’t my head hurts,” Jimin says.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything and their drive is filled with silence.

When they reach home Jimin immediately heads to the shower desperate to wash himself off. But even after the hour-long shower, the hot water long went cold he feels dirty. He steps out wearing a pair of sweatpants and an old T-shirt and doesn’t return Jungkook’s eye contact as he sits on the couch trying to study but he can hardly focus the words blurring in front of him.

He doesn’t know what it is, the inescapable feeling of gloom inside him. He feels worthless, horrible worse than he has ever felt in a while especially after meeting Jungkook. Jungkook was like the ray of sunshine that shone through the dark gloomy clouds that Jimin carried with himself. The clouds never did go away but as long as the sun was there it was okay.

He wants to stop feeling this way, he hates it. He can’t even explain the feeling in words. He can hardly focus on anything.

That’s why he ignores Jungkook calling out to him until Jungkook shakes him by his shoulder.

“What?” Jimin asks.

“I asked if you were hungry,” Jungkook says. “I was thinking we can get pizza”

“Yeah,”

Jungkook looks at Jimin with a slight frown before he leaves the room leaving Jimin alone with his thoughts. He doesn’t even know when the pizza arrives until Jungkook is on his side holding out a slice for him.

“Thanks,” Jimin says suddenly ravenous as he bites into the pizza. He tastes nothing but he continues eating it.

The boys clear out the box and Jimin gets up to wash his hands and when he returns he finds Jungkook cleaning the table.

“It’s the Molly,” he hears Jungkook say.

“Huh,”

“The Molly makes you depressed, that’s why you are like this,”

“Like what?”

Jungkook raises his eyebrows.

“You seem a little blue today,”

“Blue?” Jimin feels himself getting angry.

“Uh yeah,”

“I am not blue or depressed Jungkook,” Jimin says in an annoyed voice.

“Jimin, it’s perfectly normal to feel this way after taking Molly…,”

“I am fine Jungkook,” Jimin says. “Please”

“Jimin…,”

“I just…need some time to myself,”

Jungkook nods as Jimin leaves the room and locks himself in the bedroom pulling out the laptop and looks up experiences of people after taking Molly. He reads through various opinions on different forums and most of them talk about being unsociable and depressed.

But it’s not what Jimin thinks he is feeling.

Jimin is disappointed.

He is disappointed in himself. Yesterday, he broke all rules. What he did was unacceptable in every way. Taking drugs the last thing Jimin would expect himself doing and yesterday he let himself go to the point of self-destruction and he doesn’t know why he did it.

He can only imagine what his mother would feel like if she ever finds out her son was doing drugs. She would be beyond disappointed. Jimin hates it, he has never liked to disappoint his mother. He remembers sometimes when he would score a grade lesser than she would expect from him and would turn into a frown as she would look at Jimin.

“You could have done better Jimin,” she would say.

He hated doing that to her and now he has crossed all the invisible lines laid out for him by his mother. Jimin sits on the bed and lets a few tears fall.

‘What did you expect dating an imbecile like Jeon Jungkook?’ A voice inside his mi