“Kihyun-ah!” Hoseok shouts, caching up with him. He grabs onto the younger’s arm, pulling him gently towards himself. “Kihyun-ah, what’s wrong?”

“I have to go home,” Kihyun murmurs, shaking his head. “I have to find it. That’s the only way it’ll stop.”

“What’ll stop?” Hoseok asks. “What do you have to find?” Kihyun merely continues to shake his head at the older, refusing to explain himself. Hoseok sighs, his heart softening at the frazzled sight of the younger. It takes him back to how he was the last time Hoseok had to stay the night at his place. “Come on, I’ll buy you a coffee,” he tells Kihyun, leading him away.

“But I—“

“If you go home like this now,” Hoseok argues, “you’ll only wake up Hyunwoo and won’t be able to find whatever it is you’re looking for.” Kihyun stops trying to shake off Hoseok’s grip, pouting at the sense he’s making.

He allows himself to be led away towards a nearby park. Hoseok sits him down on the bench, reluctantly leaving him alone a moment to buy a coffee from the vending machine. He returns quickly and takes a seat beside the younger. Kihyun takes the offered beverage, wobbling where he sits.

“Kihyunnie,” Hoseok begins, “what’s going on with you? You’ve been totally fine lately, but tonight you start talking to yourself and acting like how you did a few months ago… I’m really worried about you.” Kihyun doesn’t answer the question, only stares silently at his feet. “If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine,” the older adds, “just don’t shoulder the burden all by yourself. Try telling Hyunwoo about it. He may be able to help more than you think.”

“I can’t tell Hyunwoo,” Kihyun murmurs, shaking his head. “If I do, he’ll…”

“He’ll what?” Hoseok prods. Kihyun shakes his head, earning an exasperated sigh from Hoseok. “Hyunwoo isn’t the type to leave someone in need. If you tell him what’s going on with you, I’m sure he’ll only stay and help you through it.” Kihyun opens his mouth to speak, Hoseok’s true words resonating with him, but he suddenly squeezes his lips shut and shakes his head again.

“I can’t,” he repeats, his voice a mere whisper. “If I tell him, he’ll realize just how awful of a person I am. He’ll realize how much better he can do. He’d leave me in an instant.” Hoseok’s eyes widen at this, absolutely hating how fragile the younger seems. This isn’t the Kihyun he knows.

“Kihyun-ah,” Hoseok says, grasping the younger’s hand tightly. “Kihyun-ah, look at me.” Kihyun’s eyes slowly, seemingly unwillingly, travel up from the ground to look into the older’s earnest face. “You’re not a bad person. In fact, you’re one of the best people I know. You’re one of my best friends. I don’t know what’s gotten into you, why you’re talking like this, but it has to stop. Not just for the sake of your relationship, but for your own health.”

Kihyun watches the older speak, the sincerity shining in his eyes having a sobering effect on him. He glances down at his feet again in thought, processing what his friend is telling him. He has to admit that Hoseok is right. It wouldn’t be like Hyunwoo to leave Kihyun when he needs support.

“What a foolish way to look at it,” the voice whispers to him. “Of course Hyunwoo would leave you when he realizes how crazy you are, how useless you are. Why would he stay with someone who could never be loved, someone who could never love him in return?”

At this, tears begin to flow freely down Kihyun’s cheeks. They come so fast, brought on by what the voice has said, that Kihyun has no chance to fight them. He’s vaguely aware of Hoseok’s grip on his hand tightening, the older’s voice calling for his attention once more. However, he doesn’t respond to anything. He can’t. His despair fills him to the brim and overflows through watery eyes. All he can do is fall against Hoseok, crying his eyes out.

He’s suddenly so tired of everything. If he can’t escape from the voice, then what’s the point of anything? What’s the point of trying to live when he’s got this constant nagging going in his head, insisting that nothing he ever does will make him worthy of having a life?

Hoseok is surprised to see the younger cry so suddenly, and even more surprised when Kihyun leans against him for support. He tries to ask what’s wrong, what could’ve possibly brought this on, but it doesn’t seem his friend hears him. He sighs, wrapping protective, consoling arms around Kihyun. He rests his head atop Kihyun’s soft hair, and begins rocking him back and forth.

“It’ll be alright, Kihyunnie,” Hoseok tells him, although he doesn’t know what exactly he’s consoling the younger for. All he knows is that Kihyun needs his support right now. “Everything will be okay.”

Neither know for how long they sit like this, Kihyun leaning towards Hoseok and crying into his shirt. It’s at least an hour, though, Hoseok knows, because eventually that new bartender Minhyuk had been lusting over before brings his roommate to him.

“Hoseok-ssi,” he says with a rather green-looking Minhyuk leaning on his shoulders. “Sorry to interrupt, but the bar is closed and this customer said he was with you.” Hoseok nods.

“S-Sorry,” Hoseok says, awkwardly separating from Kihyun. “I didn’t meant to leave you alone for so long.” The stranger shrugs his shoulders as he hands Minhyuk over.

“No worries,” he tells him. “If it got too bad I’d have come and gotten you, but it seemed pretty serious between you two so I let you be.” Kihyun and Hoseok share a hesitant glance that they hold one second too long. Kihyun clears his throat, looking away quickly to wipe at his face. Minhyuk throws a desperate arm around Hoseok’s shoulders, groaning in pain.

“Take me home, hyung,” he murmurs, nuzzling his head into Hoseok’s shoulder. He sighs deeply, turning his gaze towards the other bartender. “I swear I’m usually way more charming than this.” The bartender laughs, running a hand through his hair.

“Don’t worry about it,” he tells him. “Just take care of yourself.” Minhyuk nods in response, offering a sunny smile in thanks.

“Thank you,” Hoseok says, nodding towards his coworker. The young man nods and turns on his heel, walking back towards the bar to finish closing up. “Come on, guys,” he says, turning to his friends, “we’re going home.” He begins to lead the pair away towards his and Minhyuk’s dorm, struggling to keep Minhyuk at pace with him.

“I don’t know about you two,” Minhyuk says, stumbling against Hoseok in an effort to keep in step with him, “but I’m not going to any of my classes tomorrow.” Hoseok chuckles, shaking his head at the younger. He glances around to make sure Kihyun is following, and only sees him walking a few steps behind with a lowered head. He has to fight back another sigh at seeing this, wanting to ask if he’s okay but already knowing the answer.

The trio arrives at Hoseok and Minhyuk’s dorm a short time later, Minhyuk immediately passing out on his own bed upon entering.

“Do you mind if I take a shower?” Kihyun asks meekly. Hoseok is surprised at the question, it being the first thing the younger had said since the park bench.

“S-Sure,” Hoseok answers. He quickly moves towards his dresser, pulling out a t-shirt and sweat pants. “Here, you can use this.” Kihyun offers a small smile, looking up at the older with shining eyes.

“Thank you, hyung.” Hoseok nods, and moves out of the way to allow the younger into the bathroom. As soon as Kihyun disappears behind the closed door and Hoseok hears him start the shower water, Hoseok heaves a sigh as he drops onto the floor. He runs a hand through his hair, replaying what’s happened that night.

He finds himself staring at the bathroom door, sending up a silent prayer for Kihyun’s wellbeing.