Kihyun answers Hyolyn’s questions as best he can, despite not knowing half of them. It isn’t as if they’re particularly hard questions, it’s her frankness that throws him off. He didn’t know what to expect when he came to this morning meeting with Hoseok, but he definitely didn’t expect someone like this. Not that he’s meaning to complain. On the contrary, someone who’s straightforward and to the point is much better than someone who’d treat him like a trampled little flower.

“Kihyun-ah,” Hyolyn begins, readjusting in her seat. Hoseok can’t help but glance nervously at the clock on the wall. He doesn’t remember how long his first appointment had lasted, but surely it hadn’t gone on for this long. They’d been there for hours discussing every little detail about Kihyun’s condition. Of course, it isn’t as if he minds. The more thorough Hyolyn is, the better she can help Kihyun. “I have one more question for you before we leave today,” she goes on. She pauses, tapping her notebook with her pen. “Has anyone in your family ever been diagnosed with clinical depression?”

“Um,” Kihyun says, eyes drifting up to the ceiling in thought. He can’t recall his parents ever mentioning anything like that, but then again there was that estranged aunt that suffered crazy mood-swings and bouts of self-harm… Could she have been diagnosed? He had never met her before, his mother’s sister was sort of kept out of family goings-on because of her condition. “Possibly. I have to ask my mom before I answer for certain, though.” He pauses, his gaze returning to her as he adds, “Why? Is that what I have?”

“All signs do point to that,” Hyolyn answers. “I’d like for you to get a definitive answer before I officially diagnose you, though. Also, I’d like to set up another appointment with you, as soon as possible. How does next Wednesday work for you?”

“Sounds fine,” Kihyun replies dazedly, his surprise at the notion of being depressed bringing out his stutter for a moment. He had never even thought that there could be something medically wrong with him. This changes everything. If it’s something that can be treated, he can survive. He can live with it. He can even possibly get Hyunwoo back…

The notion of Hyunwoo returning to him pleases him for a solid five seconds, before remembering the seemingly easy question he had failed to answer at the beginning of the session. Would getting back with Hyunwoo really be a good idea? Kihyun has to fight back a sigh at the question, sinking back on the couch. He’ll have to add that to his list of things to think about when he has the time.

“In the meantime,” Hyolyn continues, “I want you to build a support system for yourself. A strong, steady support system that’ll help you through this. There is medication, but I’d prefer us to find a way to get you through this without the pills, if at all possible. That means being open to your friends about what you’re thinking and feeling. Can you do that?” Kihyun nods, unable to glance over at Hoseok. He hasn’t been able to bring himself to look at the older since the beginning of the session, since this whole Hyunwoo debacle began. Hyolyn looks over at Hoseok, giving him a smile. He nods, understanding this to be the end of the session.

“We’ll see you next week, Noona,” he says, standing. Kihyun looks up at him surprisedly, his sudden words causing the younger’s eyes to widen slightly.

“You’re willing to come back with me?” Kihyun asks. Hoseok glances over at Kihyun for the first time for an eternity, he feels, shooting the shorter a smile.

“Of course,” he replies. “That is, if you want me to.” Kihyun quickly nods, standing up as well. Hoseok glances over at Hyolyn, who stands as well. “Thank you again,” he says. She shakes their hands, smiling.

“My pleasure,” she tells them. “I’ll see you both Wednesday morning.” They nod again before leaving the room.

They’re quiet as they walk down the hall, neither quite knowing what to say. Hoseok wants to assure Kihyun that everything will be okay, that identifying the problem is the first step to solving it. However, whenever he tries to speak, all he can see is Kihyun’s struggle to answer Hyolyn’s question in the beginning. He had always assumed that he loved Hyunwoo, because of all they’ve been through together, because of all the time they’ve spent together, because of how perfect they are together.

But, now it seems he was wrong. He can’t deny the small glimmer of hope in his heart at this realization, though he completely and utterly hates himself for it. Guilt quickly squishes down the hope. He glances over at Kihyun, noting his pursed lips. He always does this when focusing hard on something. The younger must be torn up about it as well, Hoseok realizes.

He finds himself slipping a comforting hand into the younger’s, earning a surprised look from him. Hoseok offers a supportive smile, trying to convey with his eyes that everything will be okay. After a moment, Kihyun returns the grin thankfully, squeezing the older’s hand tightly.

They return to the dorm immediately after, without uttering a word to one another. Both are too lost in their own thoughts to be very conversational. Kihyun moves to the kitchen after leaving his shoes at the door, feeling the need to be productive after such a turbulent twenty-four hours. He begins to gather ingredients, though he doesn’t know for what yet. He allows himself to act on autopilot, cooking the first thing that comes to mind. Hoseok watches him work, concern filling his eyes.

He goes to stand behind the younger, wrapping his arms around his small waist. He snuggles his head against the back of Kihyun’s head, feeling suddenly that maybe if he thinks hard enough then it’ll take this stupid voice out of him. Kihyun sighs contentedly, instinctively leaning into the touch. He can’t help but feel safe and secure, warm and loved in Hoseok’s arms. He closes his eyes, for once his mind clear of any thoughts and, for that matter, any pesky voice.

A sudden knock at the door causes both to jump away, bursting their precious bubble of silence. Hoseok blushes, moving towards his bed to sit down. He hadn’t meant to hold onto Kihyun for so long, merely to give him a supportive squeeze and ask what he was cooking. He became distracted with how good it felt to hold the younger, how right it felt. Kihyun clears his throat, wiping his hands on a towel to go answer the door.

“Hyung,” Kihyun breathes out upon opening the door. He moves to the side to allow the visitor entrance, Hoseok standing at seeing it’s Hyunwoo and Minhyuk.

“Hey, Kihyun-ah,” Hyunwoo greets. He shoots a smile over to Hoseok, who merely nods in response. “Sorry I didn’t call or something first. I didn’t even think to.”

“It’s okay,” Kihyun tells him, his voice surprisingly strong considering the situation. “Your timing is perfect. We just got back from a walk.” Hyunwoo nods, moving into the dorm to begin to gather his things. Kihyun returns to the kitchen, wishing to busy himself so he doesn’t have to watch. Minhyuk and Hoseok share a lost glance, very much uncomfortable with the atmosphere in the room.

“Hoseok-ah,” Minhyuk says to Hoseok, “could you show me where the nearest coffee machine is?” Hoseok nods almost immediately, grateful to the younger for coming up with an excuse to leave. The two clearly need to talk, and they certainly won’t do so with him and Minhyuk around. Hopefully they will with some privacy.

The two leave the dorm, saying they’ll be back soon. Kihyun hears Hyunwoo zip up bags and snap closed storage boxes. He can’t bring himself to speak, though he knows they should.

“Well,” Hyunwoo murmurs, startling Kihyun. He turns around, his eyes widening at seeing Hyunwoo is already finished. How long had they been together in total silence? “I guess I should be going. I’m… I’m really sorry Kihyunnie. I want you to believe me when I say I think this is for the best. I think Hoseok will be of better help to you than me, and—”

“Hyung,” Kihyun says, remembering his session with Hyolyn earlier, the question that he just couldn’t answer. He bites his lip nervously, very much not wanting to ask but needing to get this off his chest. “Do… Did you believe that I loved you?”