The following weeks pass all too quickly, the semester comes to an end. Hoseok sees Kihyun off at the campus gates, hugging the younger goodbye a bit too long. Kihyun pulls away, squeezing the older’s arms with shining eyes. He assures Hoseok that the break will be over before either of them know it, though it feels like he’s trying to convince himself more than the other. Hoseok remains at the gate to watch Kihyun’s parents’ car drive away until he can’t see it anymore, and sighs as he turns to return to the dorm.

He enters the room, looking around. It feels too spacious suddenly, too empty. He pouts at this, and goes to turn on some music. Although, before long he grows restless. He gets up, deciding to go visit Minhyuk. The younger ended up not going home, either, the distance also too far to travel on a college budget.

“Hyung!” Minhyuk cheerily greets upon opening the door. He lunges forward to hug Hoseok with a surprisingly strong grip. Hoseok hums in the embrace, thinking that if he’s lucky enough to still have Minhyuk as such a good friend years from now, then his life won’t turn out half bad.

“Hey, Minhyukkie,” he replies. Minhyuk pulls away, smiling brightly as he grabs the older by the arm and tugs him inside.

“I guess Kihyun-ah left already?” Hoseok hums while nodding. He takes off his shoes and sits down at his old desk, noting the lack of things on it.

“Did Hyunwoo-ya leave, too?” he asks curiously. Minhyuk nods, his smile turning a bit sad at the question. Hoseok chuckles knowingly at the expression. “How are you two doing, by the way?”

“Great,” Minhyuk replies, his typically bright smile returning. “It took a while to get him to warm up to the idea to dating, to be honest, but he loves it now. Any day now I’m sure I’m just going to annoy him to death, but I’m enjoying this while it lasts.” Hoseok laughs at this, spinning around in the chair a couple times.

“I’m happy for you, Minmoongie,” he says. “I hope it works out for you. Hyunwoo’s a good guy.”

“He is,” Minhyuk agrees, chuckling to himself as he thinks of his boyfriend. He sighs, pausing to ask, “So, how are things with Kihyun? I guess I didn’t ruin anything with my big mouth…?”

“Of course not,” Hoseok answers quickly. “But, we haven’t gotten together, if that’s what you’re asking about. I wouldn’t feel right making a move when things are still so… unsettled, I guess, for him.” He his lips, memories of their rather tense near-kiss flooding his mind. Since then, one of the only things he’s been able to think about concerning Kihyun is kissing the younger. It’s awful, really. Nothing’s more distracting when trying to hold a conversation with someone while you’re trying to figure out what they’d taste like, what they’d feel like.

“Something happened,” Minhyuk observes, noting the older’s silence. Hoseok chuckles nervously, loving yet hating how he can’t seem to keep anything from his dear friend.

“We almost kissed,” Hoseok admits. Minhyuk gasps dramatically at the news, causing Hoseok’s anxious chuckle to return tenfold. “It actually was the same day you talked to him about making a move on Hyunwoo. We were just standing there, talking about how I don’t expect any sort of romantic relationship from him because of what he’s going through, but all of a sudden he’s hugging me and looking so cute I could kiss him…, and I nearly did.”

“Hoseok-ah, you idiot!” Minhyuk chastises, swatting at the older’s arm. Hoseok looks up at the younger looming over him, pouting as he lightly rubs at his arm. “You should’ve gone through with it! His face when I said that you like him… It was honestly so hopeful and doe-eyed I got nauseous. He’s totally into you.”

“That doesn’t matter, Minhyukkie,” Hoseok mumbles, fighting down the hope that swells within him at hearing this. “I’m not asking him out until he says he’s ready.” He then pauses, trying fruitlessly to keep himself from asking his next question. “What did he say when you told him about how I feel?”

“Well,” the younger says, sitting down on Hyunwoo’s bed, “it isn’t exactly what he said, just how he looked, ya know?”

“So, he didn’t say that he was all that thrilled,” Hoseok sighs defeatedly.

“He said that he wasn’t interested in getting into a relationship with anyone,” Minhyuk replies, but is quick to add, “but that doesn’t mean that’s how he really feels. He could very well have just been saying that on autopilot. I’m telling you, hyung, if you’d have kissed him that day he wouldn’t have pushed you away.”

Hoseok can only hum at this, unsure of how exactly to react. He finds himself mentally admonishing his past self for being so stupid as to not take his chance when he had it, but at the same time he’s glad he didn’t. He still means what he told Kihyun, that he doesn’t want to rush him into anything. He doesn’t want to put the younger into a relationship until he brings it up. Otherwise he feels he’d just be pushing him into it, and that’s the last thing he wants. That was part of his original problem with Hyunwoo to begin with.

Kihyun sits down on the bed of his childhood, a sense of familiarity filling him. He can’t help but smile at the small knickknacks and stacks of books littering the shelves. Not so much clutter that it’d drive him crazy, but enough to make the room seem lived-in. He sighs, and absentmindedly goes to retrieve his phone to check for any missed calls or texts. Of course, there’s nothing.

He shakes his head at himself. Why would Hoseok be trying to get into contact with him already? It’s only been an hour since he’s left. He’s probably sitting around the dorm, enjoying his alone time… Alone… in the dorm… Kihyun shakes his head again, this time to get the depressing image of Hoseok sitting around the dorm by himself out of his mind. He should call the older, make sure that isn’t what he’s doing. Kihyun would absolutely hate it if that’s how his friend ends up spending his break. He’d honestly drive back to school to pick up Hoseok himself if that’s what’s in store for him, despite the whole not-having-a-license thing.

Stop, he tells himself. The whole reason you came home in the first place is to distract yourself from Hoseok. You need to learn to live without him. He’s probably hanging out with Minhyuk, anyway. Hyunwoo would’ve gone home, too, so those two will keep each other company.

Kihyun frowns at this, the notion of anyone keeping Hoseok company other than himself filling him with an odd sense of jealousy.

Keep it together, Yoo Kihyun. There’s no reason to be jealous of Minhyuk. He and Hyunwoo are together now, and they seem to be doing fine based off the pictures Minhyuk posts of them on Twitter… But, what if Hoseok ends up meeting someone else to hang out with? What then? What am I supposed to do then? No one can take my Hoseok from me without me even being there, I won’t allow it!

Before he realizes what he’s doing, his hand is already on his doorknob to storm out of the house and get the first bus back to campus. However, he stops himself. He begins breathing heavily, backing away from the door and sliding down the nearest wall. He tucks his knees against his chest, staring thoughtfully at the floor.

He thinks back to when he and Hoseok had nearly kissed. His fingers gently brush against his own lips as they turn up in a grin as he wonders how soft Hoseok’s lips must be…

God, he realizes, leaning his head back against the wall thoughtfully, I’m in way too deep.