[CONTENTID1]

013

Solitudinem.

[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]

I can’t do this anymore.

Closing my eyes, I pulled my knees close to my head to block out the thoughts. Silent tears revealing the painful contents inside.

I don’t know where I am. The voice has long since disappeared, replaced with only this seething snake which will not leave me alone.

But besides that, I am alone.

I draw in a shuddery breath, curling up into a tighter shell. I’m tired of being hurt, of being this world’s punching bag. I’m tired of not being able to trust anyone, to have been relying on Yoongi so much but to realize that he is also a liar.

Even Jungkook, how can I trust him when he, too, may be betraying me? Like everyone else?

And what about me? Am I, too, a liar? Do I hurt people as they hurt me?

My mind can only tell me yes.

I throw back my head and let out a scream, only I cannot hear it and it is too much to bear because it isn’t tangible because I’ve lost too much. I cry tears of anger, frustration, and people probably think I’m crazy but it doesn’t even matter anymore because I’m hurting too much to care. And nobody else seems to care, either.

But still, there’s a hand on my shoulder.

“Hey, kid, you alright?”

It’s a stranger. I’ve become so pitiful that even strangers take notice of my pain and misery. I nodded slowly, hesitantly.

“You aren’t in pain? Can you breathe?”

I nodded, and they don’t seem to know how to respond. After all, they don’t know me.

“I don’t mean to sound… intrusive. But you should try talking to somebody. It looks like you’ve got some feelings bottled up and it wouldn’t be good if you just kept them there.” A pause. “But maybe that’s just my way of thinking. I’m sorry, and I hope things get better for you.”

If only I had someone. I wish I could take his advice, yet it’s hopeless.

Whispers of comfort, reassurance. I’m not alone.

But I am. I opened my eyes again and realized that I was in a crowd surrounded by many yet nobody.

»»-------------¤-------------««

Just as soon as I had escaped it, I was back here, in this dreadful place. 

Maybe if I was smart, I would've stayed home. I wouldn't be here, facing Jungkook once again. But at the same time, if I hadn't come, then rumors could spread. 

People would talk.

So maybe, then, staying at home would've been worse.

Once I walked into the classroom and sat down at my desk, Jungkook approached me with a slight frown on his face. He put his hand on my shoulder, and I was suddenly reminded of the man from yesterday.

"Taehyung-ah. Are you alright? I wanted to talk to you, but you just left."

I shrugged.

Maybe you shouldn't have said that, then, I thought bitterly. Though, I didn't know why I was so angry, seeing as how he was only telling the truth. One can't be faulted for that.

"Sorry about what I said."

I shrugged again, looking up and mouthing, 'It's fine.'

Mr. Park walked in, scolding Jungkook for not having been in his seat.

Strangely, though Hakyeon was there, he hadn't made his presence known by announcing that the teacher was walking in. It felt unnatural, but I tried not to think much of it.

»»-------------¤-------------««

Class ended, and I walked